Red, blue and green candle lit lanterns drift in the night sky. Under the twinkling stars, under rays of silver moonlight. They follow the wind, to the place where lost souls go. A place where the gods reside, a world called Elyaiseum. Each color representing something different. Red for perished soldiers, green for civilians lost in the war and blue for anyone who is missing but we presume dead.


    Despite the frigid, mountain air, I stand still, my eyes watching as those lanterns pass over us. War was a terrible thing. I knew that it was. I knew that many often died in battle, most soldiers whether they mage, infantry or one of the Viarenne. I knew that many would never return home to the people who love them, to their waiting family or friends. But I… this many? It was almost too much for me to bear. I clench my fists beside me and close my eyes. There was no way this was what awaited me.


    “You alright?”


    I opened my eyes and glanced to the small otter, clinging to my left shoulder. His voice sounded disembodied, inside my own head. I was the only one who could hear him. “Yeah,” I think back, but it wasn’t true. I was very far from being alright.


    “Sai?”


    Beside me on one side stood Bran. My older brother… now the oldest sibling in our family since Reynne… I shook my head, ridding myself of that thought. Unclenching my fists, I reached over and took the blue lantern he was handing me. We would be lighting two tonight. One for both of our loved ones. For Ashe Treigha, my mother and one for the oldest of us, Reynne Treigha.


    “Thank you,” I say as I take the lantern. My voice is quiet and subdued, I find it hard to speak. Any louder and my emotions might betray me.


    “Do you know what to do?” another person asks. His voice is more mature and much deeper than Bran’s


    I nod to our father as I set the lantern down in the snow. The candle is held in a small, blue box and on the side of that box is a name plate. I take the golden strip I hold in one hand and slip it into the indentation. On it, is the name of my mom. Ashe Treigha. Then I flip the lanturn so that it is sitting flat and with a small lighter, I light the candle.


    It takes a minute, but the paper balloon connected to the box, gradually fills with hot air. My eyes go to Bran who is doing the same thing for our brother. When both balloons are full, we lift them up and let them fly.


    Sorrow fills the air around us as we stand in silence, watching those lanterns drift. Even the mountain wind seems to understand and calms down to a cool breeze. My red, braided hair gently flutters, dancing. My winter cloak moves and flaps around to the unheard music of the dead, to Elyaiseum’s tune.


    A hand lands gently on my shoulder. “This will not be your fate,” Kazine says.


    I look away. How would he know that? Kazine was the person who sent her out there and now he’s telling me that I have to join as well? If I even survive my… education, I will be sent to the front lines. The magic I am capable of producing, is too important for that to not be the case.


    “I know this is hard to understand right now,” he continues. “But one day you will.”


    “Oh horse’s ass!” Bran shouts as he turns to our father. “You’re sending Sai here, to satiate your own god''s damn ego!”


    “My ego?” Kazine says in a raised voice. “These boy… are the god’s damn rules!”


    Yeah they were rules, but rules he himself had come up with. And Bran was no boy. My brother was reaching his twenty-fourth birthday, well into his adult years. I sigh, knowing that if I don’t say something soon, this argument will undoubtedly escalate, as it usually did.


    I take Bran’s clenched fist in my own hand and he relaxes a little, though his glare is still on our father. “Thank you!” I say.


    Bran looks down at me. “For what?” he asks.


    “For coming.” he would never know how important him coming to say farewell, was for me. “It means a lot.”


    His expression softens. “I… I know the others wanted to come but…”


    I force a small smile. “They have other duties, I know.”


    “Then… you’re welcome,” he says and I know he means it. “We may not see each other for a long time.”


    “If… ever again,” I say as I avert my gaze.


    “Hey… hey don’t talk like that,” he says as he cups my chin between his fingers and pulls my gaze back to his.


    “You should hurry this up,” Kazine says.


    I look over to see he now has his arms crossed. Our father is as impatient as always.


    “One moment,” Bran says with gritted teeth.


    He pulls me into a tight squeeze and we stand like that for several moments that begin to feel both like an eternity and a moment that is too quick to end. I step back to stand beside Kazine.


    “I love you,” I say as I smile. Unlike my previous smile, this one was genuine. I do love my brother. I love all my siblings and I want them to know. But… this would probably be my last one for a while. I don’t see how I could possibly be happy again, after everything that has happened.


    “You will feel happiness again Sai,” Senza says.


    “I’m not so sure about that.”


    “Yes… right now it’s like your entire world has fallen apart, but I know it will get better. Just give it time.”


    Just give it time… right… spoken by someone who has never actually experienced any loss. “We should… I… I need to go,” I say. A lump forms in my throat and my eyes begin to sting.


    “I’ll see you back at home Bran,” Kazine says.


    “Wait,” Bran says. “Why can’t it be one of us?”


    Kazine takes my hand and begins leading me towards the tall building in the distance. The castle… or fortress is enormous with four towers and a giant cathedral in the center. On the roof and leading to each of the towers there appears to be parapets, looking over the mountains and the valley below them. At least, that is what I can see from where we stand. It’s so big there might be more, hidden behind the structures I can see.


    “We’ve been through this Bran,” Kazine says without looking back. “You''re useless with magic, compared to your younger sister.”


    Of course he speaks about me as if I weren’t standing right next to him. I yank my hand away from his and stop to glare. “I’m right here you know,” I say.


    Kazine turns to me and glares right back. “Start walking,” he says. “I will not be asking again.”


    His way of telling me that if I don’t comply, he’ll take something important away. In this case, that important thing would be Senza and that would be… devastating. Senza is the only friend I have and the only person I have to talk to. I needed him to help me survive through this grief. To help prevent it from creeping up on me, like a snake to a mouse. I need him going into this school… if it can even be called that.


    “More like a torture chamber for the learning,” Senza says.


    I hold in a chuckle. “Yeah.”


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    “Fine,” I say and start marching towards Aurys Academy. I turn and walk backwards for a few steps, waving to my older brother. “Bye Bran!”


    He waves back and though my brother isn’t one to ever show this kind of emotion, I think I see a little bit of wetness in his eyes. Tiny drops of water break away and flow with the wind, reflecting under the moonlight. A wolf howls somewhere nearby.


    “I’ll see you when I see you, Sai!” he shouts back.


    I smile at the reminder. What that mantra means to me. That was what I told my mother and Reynne the day they left. It was the phrase she always used before going on a long trip to who knows where? Because good-byes were just too painful.


    “Hurry up,” my father says, his impatience wearing thin.


    I sigh and turn around.


    “I know your good ol’ dad wants you to hurry,” Senza says with sarcasm etched in his tone. “But look to your right. Up on that ridge.”


    Ahead of us there is a long bridge, leading over a chasm. Before the bridge is a large hill of snow. Squinting, I can barely make out what it is that Senza wants me to see. They blend in so well with the untouched, untainted whiteness of the newly fallen snow, that I almost miss them. An enormous wolf with golden eyes stands there, his gaze on me as I walk passed him. Beside the wolf, a small, white fox sits. Head tilted as if curious about something, but also watching us intently.


    “Do you think the rumours are true?” I ask. “Do Viarenne actually go to this school?”


    “Yes… but don’t call them that Sai,” Senza says. “That name is just something your father came up with to lump all those races together. It’s… well… they find it extremely offensive.”


    Noted. I promised myself right then and there, that I would remove that word from my vocabulary. I tighten my grip on the satchel I carry, slung over one shoulder and run to catch up to Kazine. His legs are longer of course, so his strides are also much longer than mine.


    Together we cross the long bridge and… I freeze in front of the large, arched doors. My eyes lock onto the entrance and I begin to feel a tightness in my chest. My hands both begin to shake, but they are not shivering because of the cold. I take in a breath, but it’s hard and ragged. I… I don’t know if…


    “Remember what I told you?” Senza says. His voice is gentle and kind.


    “B-breath,” I say, not caring whether or not Kazine can hear me.


    “Yes,” Senza says. “Count every breath.”


    I do as he says.


    “That’s it. Breath in and out. One… two… three…”


    By the time we got to ten, my heart had slowed and I… I close my eyes. That reminds me so much of her. She would often have attacks like these as well. Mine didn’t start until she had been declared missing.


    “Sairya!” Kazine shouts. “Hesitating out there is only going to prolong this, not prevent it. Now get your ass in here.”


    I let out a long breath and shake my head. Better do as he says, or my situation will become worse. So I walk forwards through the snow, up the steps and into the door Kazine is holding open for me. The warm air inside nearly knocks me from my feet and is a complete contrast to the frigid, mountain temperatures.


    “Wait here,” Kazine says as he moves across the marble floor. Without saying another word, he climbs one of the curved staircases leading up to the second floor and disappears into what appears to be an elevator.


    He told me to wait but… did I really want to do as he said? Or did I want to explore? I smile and choose the latter option, walking forward to the room’s centerpiece. An enormous statue depicting some kind of feathered dragon with an elven leaning against it, playing a harp. Water sprays out of the dragon’s mouth and into a small pool below.


    “This is a little pretentious? Don’t you think?” I ask.


    “Yeah.”


    I whirl around to see a young man, maybe my age or a year or two older, leaning on one of the building’s support pillars, with his arms crossed and his gaze fixed on me. Where my hair is a dark shade of red, his is a red I would describe as being able to see in the clouds upon our sun’s arrival or departure. Those eyes of his are a beautiful, pale shade of blue.


    “I always thought that statue was a bit… much,” he says as he lifts his head.


    Our eyes meet and I swear I can see something hidden within that gaze of his. My mother always said that the eyes were the gateways into someone’s soul, maybe this was what she meant.


    “Wh-who are you?” I ask, my voice unsteady.


    Pale eyes tilts his head and gives me a questioning look. “Shouldn’t I be asking that of you?”


    “Yeah… maybe,” I say. “But… if I tell you my name, will you tell me yours?”


    The look he gives me is piercing. We stare at each other for what seems like forever and he averts his gaze. “Nah!” he says as he pushes himself away from the pillar. He turns to leave down one of the wide corridors connected to this room, but then turns back before he does. “Can I give you a piece of advice?”


    I furrow my brow. “Yeah… I guess.”


    “You should leave,” he says.


    My eyes open wide and I stare at him blankly. “What?” I ask.


    “Trust me, you don’t want to go to school here. You should get out while you still can.”


    If only I had that choice. It, along with a lot of other things, was taken away from me the day Ashe Treigha was declared missing. “I know you mean well,” I say. I make sure to keep my voice steady and calm, but also serious. “But I don’t really have a choice.”


    He arches an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”


    “Daxton!” someone, another male shouts from the second floor balcony. “Stop picking on the new girl and get back to your room.”


    Pale eyes whose name is actually Daxton, looks to where the other voice had come from. “Remmy, I wasn’t-”


    “Sure you weren’t,” he says.


    I walk around the statue to possibly get a look at the other person who is talking. He appears to be about Daxton’s age and wears what I know to be a military uniform, but also what the school will probably have me wear. It’s a red military suit with a crest sewn onto the left shoulder, where someone’s rank might be. The crest is of a stony dragon engulfed in flames and beneath are the words, Fire and Stone. Remmy’s hair is black and his eyes are crimson.


    Daxton sighs and walks towards the staircases. “Fine, fine,” he says as he raises a hand to wave. “Just needed some air, Remmy. No need to get your briefs in a twist.”


    One side of Remmy’s mouth twitches as he waits for Daxton to go down the corridor on the right. Then he descends the staircase and approaches me. “I’ve been asked to retrieve you,” he says as he reaches over and takes my satchel.


    “Wait… what are you…?”


    “Just helping you out. Honestly, you look exhausted. The journey here couldn’t have been easy.”


    No, it really wasn’t. “T-thank you,” I say.


    “Follow me,” Remmy says as he starts towards the staircases again. He hesitates at the foot of one staircase and looks over his shoulder. “Cute familiar by the way.” Remmy begins to climb the stairs.


    “Thank you,” I say as I start climbing behind him.


    For such a place that was feared by my mother, I can’t help but think about how beautiful the school was. The architecture was a piece of art, everything from those arched doorways which appeared to have carvings of ancient feathered dragons, vampires attacking humans and depictions of wolves shifting to humans and humans to wolves, to even the banisters which followed that same theme but with paintings instead of carvings. We reached the elevator Kazine had initially entered.


    Remmy presses a button and a light above the elevator flickers. “I don’t know what you’ve been through,” he says. “But sorry it’s what ended you up here.”


    I nod, not trusting me to say anything.


    “Sai,” Senza says. “Everything will turn out fine. I mean… what if this place isn’t actually as evil as your mom said it would be?”


    Truthfully, I haven’t seen her since I was eight years old. We would write letters to each other everyday however, and send them by the end of the week. Our correspondence was how I had an idea about what this school was like. And then my research on it.


    “Sometimes the most beautiful things, can be the deadliest,” I say.


    “What?”


    “That was something she sometimes said to me.”


    “I know,” he says, his disembodied voice quiet and solemn.


    The elevator dings and the doors open. Remmy steps inside and I follow behind him. “I don’t know what house they’ll put you in but… even so, if you need any help, you can ask me,” he says. “Do you have a phone?”


    “I… do,” I say.


    “Then I’ll give you my number. Just send me a message if you need help with anything.”


    I nod again.


    When the elevator dings again, the doors open and I step out. I turn to Remmy who is still on the elevator, holding my satchel out. I take it and force a little smile. “Thank you,” I say. “You are a kind person.”


    “Well… I don’t know about that,” Remmy says. “Your father and the headmaster are through that door.”


    Behind me are another set of arched doors, smaller and less grand than the ones at the entrance. I nod once again and watch as Remmy allows the elevator doors to close and then I find myself alone, in the hallway, in a strange, unfamiliar place. Not for long, I remind myself as I take in a deep breath. I turn to the doors and use the knocker to get their attention and then I push them open.


    “Your days will get better,” Senza says.


    I feel like that’s something he will keep saying, until it turns out to be true. He’ll be waiting a long time for that, because with my heart breaking as it was… I don’t see how it could ever become a reality.


    I step inside.