Chapter 48


    RAVEN


    I had just entered Taylor’s bedroom , the creams and browns of the décor and walls made the room


    look warm and weing . I saw himying on his bed staring at the ceiling .


    ” Hey . We missed you at training . ” I said softly , walking over to his bed . He sat up slowly and I


    hugged him tightly . ” I’m not feeling up to training . ” He muttered ,ying down again and grabbing a


    square cushion , hugging it to his chest as he sighed deeply . ” I know , but you can’t stay cooped up .


    ” I said , stroking his hand . Our eyes met , and the pain in his tugged at my heart .


    ” I’m sorry . ” I whispered . He gave me a pointed look . ” Really Raven , you need to stop with the self


    – ming . I’m d I know what a … jerk Zack’s been . As for Anna , I don’t know what the hell to do .


    ” He groaned in frustration . So that was his dilemma , but right now I didn’t trust myself to give him any


    advice . ” I don’t even know what to do with my life , so I really can’t advise you . ” I said with a gloomy


    pout . ” ” Will you talk to Zack ? ” ” Sooner orter . ” He muttered , turning o n his side and hugging the


    cushion tightly . get update on m.techkaushal


    ” Good , life’s short . ” I murmured , thinking with each passing day , Liam’s time was running out . ”


    Yeah . I know I’ll forgive him sooner orter , he did that when he was a stupid eighteen – year – old ,


    and we both know that crap happens .


    ” Taylor said . ” Tell me about it , I’ve been a dumb eighteen – year – old , ” I mumbled , tugging a t the


    hem of my dress . ” But I’m d you are going to work on it . ” 11 ” Yeah … When I’m ready , right now


    …. I’m pissed . ” Taylor said , sounding adorably cute . those people who Taylor was just one couldn’t


    stay mad at anyone for long .


    ” And you should be . ” I said , giving him a small smile . ” What about you ? What’s happening ? I know


    people at the packhouse are being assholes . ” Taylor said sympathetically . ” So , you’ve heard , huh ?


    ” I said , making folds in my dress . Taylor reached over and gave my arm a squeeze . ” Hey … I’m


    here if you want to talk about i t .


    I don’t know why you aren’t telling people , but he’s your mate , isn’t he ? ” I gave him a small smile .


    How do I tell him I didn’t know what to do ? How the fact that I have two mates was hard ? {get update


    on m.techkaushal} How do I exin that I didn’t know how to bnce this when both my mates


    were so different , our rtionships were so different ?


    I just felt like I was lost in the middle of conflict with everyone giving m e different advice . I felt guilty for


    favouring Liam . How I forgot Damon when I was with Liam . Yet when I was with Damon , I felt guilty


    towards Liam .


    Then there was Damon telling me to make it work with Liam first , then Aunty Red saying to be equal or


    decide what I wanted . Not to mention Al’s ultimatum that this would not work and I would have to pick


    one .


    I really wanted to go bang my head against a wall . ” I know you are …. I just don’t even know what I


    need to do . Anyway , I’m d you’re ok . Do you want me toe over tonight ?


    We can binge watch someedy movies or whatever you want and get some takeout ? ” I suggested


    . His face lit up with a beautiful smile and h e nodded . ” I’d like that . ” ” Then it’s a date ! ” I said ,


    getting up . I hadn’t really told Taylor the full deal between Liam , Damon and me but I think tonight I will


    . ” Anything new with your dad ?


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    ” Taylor asked , his smile vanishing . I looked at him and shook my head , wondering did people


    realised something happened after Damon took him away ?


    ” No. I haven’t spoken to him . ” I murmured , looking at the picture of Cher o n his wall . ” Yeah … Well


    , whenever you’re ready . ” He said sympathetically .


    I nodded , thinking I was ready now . ” Well , I’m going to go face the music . ” I said , giving him a


    wave . He followed me out of his room and down the steps , I could see his mum was mixing


    something in the kitchen through the open archway . ” Bye Mama Dee ! ” ” Bye , Raven !


    ” She called back . I smiled at Taylor before I walked across the garden and jumped over the fence .


    Taylor watched me , giving me a final thumbs – up before closing the door when I did the doorbell of my


    parents ‘ house . A ce that used to fill me with dread when I had to return here at the end of a long


    day .


    The door opened and Mom stood there ; to my surprise she looked a mess , her eyes were puffy and


    her hair had not beenbed .


    ” So , you finally show your face ? ” She said to me bitterly . I frowned , stepping inside and shutting the


    door behind me . ” After Dad kicked me out , did you expect me to juste back ? ” I asked .


    She shook her head , turning away and clutching the wall as if she had no energy . I sighed , tugging at


    the skirt of my dress again . ” Look , I haven’te to argue . Where’s Dad ? There’s a few things I


    need to talk about with both of you .


    ” I asked . I wanted to get this off my chest and then get out of here . ” You got your dad thrown into the


    cells ! Are you mocking us bying here and pretending you don’t know ?! ” She shouted , her eyes


    shing yellow as she red at me .


    My heart skipped a beat as her words echoed in my head , cells ? ” I … I didn’t know . That night-


    ” You have only ever hurt your dad , Raven .


    I know you don’t mean to but look where you have got him ! He never wanted you near Renji , yet you


    went and visited his grave ! What did you expect ? That he wouldn’t get angry ? ” Mom cried , breaking


    into sobs .


    My own heart clenched in pain . The urge to simply stay quiet was there , but no , not this time . I came


    here to give m y input this time , and I am not going to stay quiet like normal . ” So , you’re saying I’m


    the reason Dad is i in the cells ? Actually Mom , I’m not . He’s there because he deserves to be there . I


    have done nothing to him .


    All I ever wanted was for him to notice me , to be i proud of me and to love me , but he never did . ” I


    said , desperation seeping into my voice . Was I really the crazy one that was in the wrong ? ” I can’t


    even mind link him !


    They are probably injecting him with silver or wolfsbane ! I feel his pain ! You don’t know what he’s


    going through , above all losing Renji- “


    ” Hurt ! I know ! I didn’t even know he existed , and it hurts me too ! I visited his grave because I wanted


    to know my brother ! What did I do so wrong that dad hates me so much ?


    I am his daughter too ! Is it just because I was too weak to give m y brother a bone marrow match ? ” I


    said , feeling defeated . ” You were never a daughter he could be proud of .


    ” She said , simply brushing away her tears . I looked into those blue eyes of hers , the very same


    shade as my blue one . ” I know , I’ve been told all my life that I a m nothing but a failure . ” I said ,


    looking around the hallway .


    Something told me this was thest time I’d be visiting here . ” I wasn’t the child Dad wanted , well


    that’s his loss then . I have always tried my best t o be the best I can be without losing my identity , but


    if it’s not enough , then I don’t care anymore .


    ” You don’t care ? When have you ever cared Raven ? ” Somehow , her words just didn’t hurt anymore


    . I was so used to her standing by and not caring that I didn’t expect anything from her .


    ” Goodbye Mom , I won’t be stopping by anymore … I didn’t know Dad was in the cells , but whatever


    reason the Alpha or Beta deemed sufficient , Dad must deserve it . I don’t really care and I don’t feel


    bad for admitting that . I’m done . ” I said casting onest look around my childhood house . ” Maybe


    we will be better off .


    “ Mom whispered , hugging herself . ” They hurt him a lot … I felt it , I don’t know what they’ve done


    and I can’t mind link him either . I’m told I have to stay under house . arrest until the Alpha questions


    me . ” I frowned , I felt a sliver of irritation , once again I wasn’t told about this . Why did everyone keep


    me in the goddess – damned dark ?


    ” Yeah , I think we’ll all be better off . I’m done being stuck around parents who love to throw mental


    abuse in one form or another at me . ” I said bitterly . For the first time , I let my anger , pain and


    sadness show in my voice .


    I turned away , ready to open the door again , when I paused . ” When I was a baby … you wanted the


    doctor to give me Renji’s eye … You must have loved me right ? Before I became a useless


    disappointment to you both ?


    ” My voice was soft , my eyes stuck on the door before me . Maybe just one kind word That at one


    point at least Mom cared …. ” Hmm , a long time ago … I wanted to see a part of Renji live on too …


    But things changed .


    ” Mom’s hesitant reply came . away and cry My lips quivered , the urge to just run threatened to


    consume me , but I didn’t move , keeping my heartbeat steady . ” Changed ? ” ” I should never have


    given Renji’s eye to you .


    Perhaps if we hadn’t , that constant reminder of his loss wouldn’t be here ! Maybe things would have


    been different ! ” I looked over my shoulder at her , trying to blink away the tears and nodded .


    ” Maybe … but it’s done . Goodbye … ” I said , not even knowing if I should even address her as mom .


    She didn’t reply as I left the house , trying t o hold that smile in ce , although inside I felt as if


    everything was crumbling to pieces … Moonlight Muse N Thank you for reading