BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.


    Radars. Satellites. Government people with sunglasses staring at screens.


    Somewhere in a top-secret base:


    "Sir, we’ve detected OIL."


    "Deploy freedom."


    THE U.S. MILITARY ARRIVED.


    Helicopters. Jets. Paratroopers falling from the sky like hyperactive confetti. Tanks rolling in, sand flying everywhere. Egypt immediately declared a state of emergency. Meanwhile, I was in the middle of it all, standing like:


    "Is this even real life anymore??"


    The American soldiers landed with their usual "we’re here to fix things" energy—until they actually looked around.


    To their left: El Maddah’s glowing warriors, fighting like divine gladiators.


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    To their right: Shadow demons eating reality itself.


    Ahead of them: A war between literal ancient gods.


    Behind them: Me, hugging my blanket and regretting all my life choices.


    The soldiers blinked. I blinked.


    One of them whispered, "I don’t think this is about oil anymore…"


    Before they could even process it, BOOM! A gigantic energy blast flew past them, setting a tank on fire. The generals started screaming, alarms blared louder, and for some reason, I heard someone yell "SECURE THE AREA!" as if anything here was remotely securable.


    Me? I just dropped to the ground, curled up like a baby, and muttered, "I should’ve stayed home."


    And just like that… the war became a three-way showdown.


    El Maddah’s warriors of light, El Malek El Ahmar’s dark legions, and now, the very confused but extremely well-armed U.S. military.


    The battlefield turned into absolute madness.


    Tanks fired at shadowy demons (which just swallowed the shells like a snack), skeletons tried to hijack helicopters (unsuccessfully, because, well… no muscles), and El Maddah? He was dueling El Malek El Ahmar mid-air like an anime final boss battle.


    Meanwhile, I was just dodging explosions, running in circles, and yelling "I’M JUST A TOURIST!"


    At this point, the war wasn’t stopping. No one was winning. No one was losing.


    It was pure, uncontrollable chaos.