In a small town called Anda on the De Rossi Continent, there lived an utterly ordinary family. The couple had married late due to poverty, and it was also because of poverty that they didn''t have a child until middle age. The birth of their son brought boundless hope to this struggling household. Every day, they looked forward to their son growing up and lifting the family out of poverty. However, this was merely their fantasy. In reality, twenty years later, their grown-up son, Kells, brought nothing but endless troubles to his aging parents…
And so, the story begins! Today, Anda was as noisy as ever!
The commotion came from the central street of Anda, where a long-haired young man was running for his life. Behind him trailed at least ten girls, each armed with brooms, sticks, washboards, and various household weapons of terror!
The chase was intense and had been going on for quite a while. Suddenly, the long-haired youth stumbled over a stone on the road, and because of this trip, a pair of girl''s pants fell out of his arms…
"Bastard! Today, we''ll definitely—definitely kill you!" The girls'' eyes turned a terrifying blood-red upon seeing the dropped item. Each one surged forward with ferocious momentum, some even hurling their weapons at him. Miraculously, the long-haired youth dodged every attack as if he had eyes in the back of his head.
This farce dragged on for some time until, out of nowhere, a short-haired young man joined the pursuing mob. His speed and stamina clearly outmatched the girls''. After a while, the girls collapsed from exhaustion, resting on the ground, leaving only the latecomer still chasing the long-haired youth.
The long-haired guy kept glancing back, his dream of slipping away scot-free today shattered! This random interloper''s foot stamina showed no sign of weakening, and he was closing in fast.
The long-haired youth grew nervous and picked up his pace to shake him off, but the other guy sped up too, narrowing the gap once more. The two maintained this razor-thin distance…
The sun gradually shifted from east to west, until dusk arrived.
By now, both were too exhausted to run any longer. The long-haired and short-haired youths, one in front of the other, slowed from running to a laborious walk, their movements almost resembling some kind of animal crawl. Yet the short-haired guy remained just a step behind, unable to catch up.
Finally, the long-haired youth couldn''t take it anymore. With a loud "Peng," he plopped down, pulling all his spoils from his arms and tossing them onto the ground. A pile of colorful girl''s pants spilled out!
"Huff… huff… Come on, is this really necessary? How about we split today''s haul fifty-fifty?" the long-haired youth panted.
"You… you… you shameless jerk, Heavenly Father won''t forgive you…" The short-haired youth was gasping for breath, but he ignored the tempting offer.
"Is it that serious… old brother… I don''t even know you!" The long-haired youth had never seen this guy before. His foot stamina was unmatched in all of Anda—no one had ever caught him. To fall to some random stranger today was an unexpected twist of fate.
"Heavenly Father… please… forgive this shameless guy… The pure… pure hearts of those girls have been tainted by you. If… if you don''t repent… I… I won''t let you off!"
"Repent? Haha! You''re… you''re actually telling me, Kells, to repent! …Huff huff!" So, this long-haired guy was Kells! His poor parents must be heartbroken again! Sigh…
"What… what''s so funny…" the short-haired youth pressed.
"I do this every day… If… if I had to repent, it''d take ten days and ten nights to confess it all! Haha! Haha!" Kells burst into laughter, though laughing after a mad dash easily led to choking…
"Cough… cough…" After just a few laughs, Kells started coughing. The sight filled the short-haired youth with glee.
"Haha! Haha! See that… this… this is Heavenly Father''s punishment! You evildoer! If you don''t repent… worse punishment awaits…" The short-haired youth didn''t get far into his sermon before he, too, began coughing violently.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
"Haha… cough… Punishment?" Kells mocked the slip-up.
"Cough… It''s just an accident…" The short-haired youth was stubbornly rigid, refusing to back down.
Kells hated rigid types the most. Seeing he couldn''t shake this guy, he gave up. "Fine, let''s stop this, okay? I surrender. Take it all—I don''t want it. Let''s just pretend I didn''t see you today… and you didn''t see me." Kells tossed the pile of spoils toward the short-haired youth.
When the short-haired youth saw the heap clearly, his face turned beet red. He quickly shut his eyes and said, "This… this is! Heavenly Father, please forgive your sinful child!"
"Haha, you stay here and repent, kid. I''m not sticking around!" After resting a bit, Kells regained some strength. Using it, he stood up shakily and staggered off, leaving the short-haired youth still facing the pile of assorted girl''s pants in repentance. It seemed one had even ended up draped over his head…
"What day is it today? So unlucky—running into some random guy who can keep up with me like that! No way! That haul had Leah''s unwashed pants in it—top-tier stuff! So damn unlucky!" Kells grumbled as he walked. If it weren''t for that unexpected intruder, he''d already be home, happily admiring his collection!
Kells had a habit of collecting girl''s pants, a fact known to the entire town. Obviously, this hobby wasn''t accepted by anyone, but Kells never gave it up. Since he was fifteen, this chase scene had played out day after day on Anda''s central street. Now, at twenty, he''d been at it for a full five years…
Four years ago, Kells outran the fastest girl in town. Three years ago, he could slip into girls'' homes at will. Two years ago, he mastered opening all sorts of locks. One year ago, he could sniff out freshly changed girl''s pants by scent alone! He could even tell whose they were with over 90% accuracy… Nowadays, no one could stop Kells'' burning passion for collecting!
As a result, Kells earned the nickname "Kamikaze Kaitou" . Calling him a "kaitou" was just a fancy way of saying "underwear thief"—girls couldn''t exactly go around shouting "underwear thief" out loud, could they?
His family lived in constant fear because of this, dreading the day the victimized girls would show up at their door. With no other choice, they moved to a forest outside town to hide. Even so, Kells still made his daily pilgrimage to the girls'' homes in town, his sole target unmistakable: their pants!
Today, Kells had completely blown it. Dejected, he returned home and flopped onto his bed! His parents, noticing something off about their son today, hurried over.
"Kells, did you cause trouble again today?" his mom asked.
"Nah, I messed up today. Ran into some weird guy!" Kells replied listlessly.
"Haha, even our son can mess up! Looks like you might finally quit this pointless nonsense, kid. We''re getting old—soon we won''t be able to support you anymore," his dad said, a mix of joy and worry in his voice, his emotions tangled.
Hearing his dad''s somber words, Kells sat up on the bed and said, "Mom, Dad, don''t worry about me. I''ve already planned to go work in the next town over. I''ll earn some real money, buy a set of equipment , and live the mercenary life. One day, I''ll make sure you both live the good life!"
His words made sense. If you asked what the most popular job on the De Rossi Continent was right now, nine out of ten people would tell you it''s being a mercenary . Mercenary Guilds existed all over the continent. Once registered, you could take on simple tasks to earn money. As your skills improved, you could get certified at a special adventurer rank evaluation agency. Higher ranks meant access to tougher missions with better pay—rewards that scaled exponentially.
The dreamy S-rank missions offered bounties so huge you couldn''t spend them in a hundred lifetimes. Mercenaries just had to complete their employer''s requests to rake in piles of gold. Every hot-blooded youth dreamed of this adventurous life.
Of course, the Mercenary Guild''s tasks varied wildly. Rumor had it that long ago, there were even missions like slaying an evil dragon and marrying a princess…
But being a mercenary wasn''t something anyone could just jump into. To pass even the lowest-tier qualification, you needed a decent set of equipment. With the mercenary trade heating up across the De Rossi Continent, shady merchants had driven equipment prices sky-high. Even a lousy dagger cost a few gold coins—something a poor family like Kells'' clearly couldn''t afford.
Kells'' parents had long hoped their son would become a money-making mercenary, but to their dismay, this disappointing kid spent all his time obsessing over girls'' pants. That dream had faded into a fantasy they barely mentioned anymore…
Today, hearing their son sound so promising for once, the elderly couple burst into tears of joy! They could hardly believe their ears—Kells himself said he''d become a mercenary!
If this guy could honestly settle down as a mercenary, his parents wouldn''t have to live in fear every day.
In short, this was a heavens-sent blessing for the Kells household! His mom and dad quickly knelt to pray, thanking Heavenly Father for his mercy!
But was Kells really just dreaming of the mercenary adventurer life? No! No! Absolutely not!
Everyone knew mercenaries didn''t work alone. Once they had money, they could hire other mercenaries to tackle missions together. On the De Rossi Continent, mercenaries weren''t restricted by gender—male and female mercenaries of all races were roughly equal in number. That meant even a plain-looking, lady-luckless bumpkin like Kells could, with enough cash, hire beauty helpers—or even form an all-girl mercenary group !
Living together, adventuring together, facing life and death together with beauty helpers! And no race restrictions, either! At this thought, Kells'' nosebleed went into overdrive, his fantasies running wild… This guy''s dreams had already surpassed mere pants…