Chapter 11: Maybe


    "You drive me crazy, you know that?" he whispered. I smiled smugly. It was the little moments like this


    that I actually liked Hayden. He leaned down and kissed me gently. I pushed him back. I looked at him


    and bit my lip softly.


    "Beg and I can drive you even crazier," I smirked. He groaned and closed his eyes briefly. I smiled and


    went to kiss his cheek. He turned his head at thest second to meet my lips with his. Iughed and


    turned to walk to my room. He followed me.


    "I have to take a shower," I said over my shoulder. Hayden jogged past me andid out on my bed. He


    smirked at me and put his hands behind his head. I sighed before I pulled off my dress. I tossed it in my


    hamper and went to my drawers to grab a big shirt and some shorts. I felt arms go around my waist.


    Hayden kissed my neck before I moved his hands from my hips. "Hayden, stop, I''m tired and I need to


    take a shower," I said. He chuckled and kissed my ear.


    "But Jo," he said mocking me. I pushed his hands off of me again. Iughed and turned to him. He


    raised an eyebrow at me. "You can''t just go shing aroundce underwear like that and expect me not


    to do anything," he said. I slipped past him and headed to my bathroom. He got a hold of my hand.


    "Hayden, stop ying around. Let me go," Iughed. He kissed me deeply and wrapped his arm


    around my waist again. I fell back on my bed and squealed. He smiled and ran his hand down my side.


    He kissed me again and I let my eyes close. He groaned and I chuckled. "You''re impossible," I


    muttered against his lips. I felt him smile. His fingers ran against the underwire of my bra.


    "Feel like begging?" he muttered. I pushed him back andughed as I shook my head.


    "I feel like taking a shower," I said, snaking around him to stand up. His eyes ran over my body and I


    again. Iughed before I grabbed my change of clothes before I walked into my bathroom. After my


    shower, I walked out to find Hayden still lying on my bed. He was in different clothes, so I assumed that


    he went to take a shower as well. He held his arms out for me. I chuckled and took the towel off of my


    head. My hair was back to its normal curly state, only it was damp now too.


    "So how was your date?" Hayden asked. I walked over and straddled hisp. I smiled down at him.


    "It was good. I still don''t see why it''s any of your business," I said. He sat up so that I was just sitting on


    hisp. His face was inches from mine.


    "I have a bad habit of poking my nose where it doesn''t belong," he smirked. His face went towards my


    chest and I stopped him by putting my hands on the sides of his face. He chuckled and rubbed his


    hands over my thighs as he kissed me. I pulled away and looked at him.


    "You know, you seem to want me all to yourself, but you don''t have that title," I noted. He rolled his


    eyes.


    "Why is it that all girls want rtionships?" he asked.


    "Because we want to feel wanted. We want proof that someone can love us no matter what we do. We


    want a family because deep down, we all have this hole.... This hole, where only love can fill it. And


    some are so desperate to fill it that they jump at the first guy to say ''I love you''. I know you think it''s


    stupid, but to girls, it''s an ache in our chest that pulls at our need to be wanted," I exined seriously. I


    caught his eye. He stared into my green eyes for a long time. I thought I saw an ache there too, but I


    could''ve been wrong. I sighed and slid off of hisp. "You know what, forget I ever said anything," I


    said, walking to the kitchen. I started making myself something to eat.


    "What about you?" I heard from behind me. "Do you feel that too?" he asked. I only shrugged and kept


    my eyes on my food.


    "What does it matter anyway?" I said softly. He walked up behind and stopped my hands as his chin


    rested on my shoulder. "Hayden, stop," I said seriously.


    "You know what, Jordyn, no," he said, letting go of me. "Talk to me. Talk to me like you talked to me


    about Thomas," he said quietly. I looked at him as tears stung my eyes. Thomas would always be a


    sore subject for me. I shook my head.


    "Have you ever had a sibling, Hayden?" I asked. He shook his head. I smiled lightly as my tears finally


    fell. "They can be a... pain sometimes, but they be a part of your everyday life. You love them,


    because you know that they love you too. You just can''t help it. You want to protect them because they


    are you, in some ways. They were you. They''re going to have to go through almost the same things,


    they have to deal with the same parents, and they live through the same drama. And then they''re just...


    gone. Everyone wants to be loved, but when you were loved and then it''s just ripped away from you," I


    said quietly. His arms went around me gently.


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    "Jordyn, I''m not going to tell you that it''s okay when it clearly is not," he whispered into my hair. I shut


    my eyes and hugged him back. I let my tears fall. "It hurts. I know that it hurts," he said. He kissed my


    head and rubbed my arm gently. I pushed away from him and looked at him confused.


    "Stop that," I said. It was his turn to look confused.


    "Stop what?" he asked. I let out a breath and crossed my arms over my stomach.


    "Stop confusing me. One minute, you''re aplete ass and then the next, your... this," I said shaking


    my head. He chuckled.


    "Look, I know that I''m guarded, but that doesn''t mean that I''mpletely inhuman. I do have feelings,"


    he said.


    "I never know what I''m going to get with you; it''s like night and day. Just... spare me," I said. Hayden


    grabbed a hold of my waist and pulled me to him.


    "Then I''ll go to bed. You cane with me," he said softly before he kissed me gently. He looked at me


    seriously. "I''m not trying to confuse you. I just... I''m trying not to fall for you. It would kill me if anything


    ever happened to you. I know that you''re not ire, but still. There''s always the possibility that I''ll


    screw up," he admitted. I shook my head.


    "The only way you could screw up is if you don''t act on your feelings. Life is too short for regrets, so tell


    me now, Hayden. Do you care about me?" I asked softly. He hesitated before he nodded.


    "Yeah, Jo; maybe," he whispered. I shook my head.


    "Why can''t you just give me a straight answer?" I asked. I wanted him to say it out loud, but I knew that


    he wouldn''t. He leaned down and kissed me. I allowed my eyes to close as I kissed him back. Hayden


    cared about me, and I cared about him. He hands went to my waist and my cheek. He pulled away and


    ran his thumb along my cheek.


    "Jordyn... I want to be able to give you what you want, but you know that that''s not me. I just can''t," he


    said softly. I couldn''t help it. I kissed him. I kissed him passionately as my hands went to his neck. My


    lips moved with his soft, supple ones. He pulled away and searched my eyes for a moment.


    "I know," I practically whispered. "Come on, let''s go to bed," I said softly. Heced his fingers with mine


    and kissed my hand before we went to his room. Lying down, I closed my eyes and took in the feel of


    his body against mine and the intoxicatingly wonderful smell of him. His thumb rubbed along my hand.


    "Quinn says that you''re a bad influence on me," I said out of nowhere. He chuckled and kissed my hair.


    "You''re the bad influence here," he said softly. "I was doing just fine until you came along," he muttered.


    Iughed softly and turned so I was facing him.


    "Don''t you mean good influence?" I corrected him. He kissed my nose.


    "We should go to sleep," he said softly. I kissed him tenderly before I turned around so that my back


    was to his chest again.


    "Goodnight," I mumbled.