Chapter 124


    Book Two – Ch.# 16


    He knew… he knew what I was and kept it from me.


    Why though? It didn’t make any sense. But… did it really matter? Even if my father did know, it didn’t


    really change anything about my situation. It just added more questions that I would most likely never


    get answers to. After all, it wasn’t as though I could confront him about it. If he sensed even the tiniest


    bit of rebellion from me, I was sure that he would sooner lock me up than lose me.


    “…Raven?”


    Right… Kieran. He was still waiting for me to reply… only I wasn’t sure what to do. I was in yet another


    dilemma of choosing two sides. Both of which had high prices with uncertain oues.


    To tell him the truth, the real truth, meant inviting him in to see that side of my life. A side where he


    would most likely learn the dark actions of my father, our business, and of the work entailed within that.


    This, in itself, was a dangerous thing to divulge to anyone, the information thereby cing a target on


    Kieran.


    …But I had to acknowledge something else too. By bringing Kieran in and telling him all of this… he


    would then be inches away from discovering the truth about me too. About all of my dark contributions


    up until now. Things that now made me feel emotions I never expected to feel.


    Because a part of me suddenly felt… shame. Guilty. Afraid of what he would think if he learned of


    everything I’d done in the past. Of who I was during the day. Never before had I cared about another’s


    judgement like this. My life had always been too busy to worry about something like that for long. But…


    Kieran was different. For the first time ever, I was beginning to care what someone thought of me. He


    had been nothing but helpful, doing his best to solve the issues that had gued me for years now. I’d


    attacked, used, threatened and pushed him away… and yet he didn’t seem to care about any of


    that. I could see a goodness in him that no one else had ever shown me. Something pure that was


    given without asking for anything in return. He was either psychotic… or he did genuinely want to help


    me. Anyone else would have walked away already …And it was for that reason which ultimately made


    the decision for me. One where keeping him away would still be for the best. “…A doctor,” I half-lied. It


    was a technical truth, though not quite right. “I don’t know much about him.”


    But apparently, I had grossly underestimated just how much Kieran had already picked up about my


    life. “…Was it your father?” he asked, catching me off guard.


    My head immediately spun sharply to look at him, finding his expression serious. “…Why would you


    say that?” I replied. I was trying to make my tone sound casual despite the tension I felt. “I saw how


    afraid you were of him that night we met,” he said. “If he has hurt you, you can tell me.”


    By that response? No, no I could not. He’d now just given me further confirmation that I was doing the


    right thing. Kieran involving himself was only going to end with him putting himself in danger as well.


    “I’m fine,” I lied, “He just… does what he thinks is best for me.”


    “Raven, I mean it,” he persisted. “You don’t need to put up with being mistreated. In fact, I don’t think


    you should go back home at all.”. “What…?”


    “With the suppressors and silver, I think you shoulde back to Ashwood with me,” he said. “Be seen


    by a doctor that actually knows how to correctly assess you. Make sure there are no long-term effects


    due to what he’s done to you. You can live the kind of life you want there without ever having to feel


    afraid.”


    Leave… my father?


    He was offering me the very thing I’d been too scared to dream for. Escaping from it all, leaving my


    father behind… finally being free. And not just that, but to also be allowed into the world I was always


    meant to be raised into. Have unrestricted ess to answers still unknown. About who I was, what was


    wrong with me, about how I could get better.


    …Only, as I kept thinking it through, I soon came back to reality. Because it was just that… a dream. A


    fantasy.


    The minute I stepped foot out of this town, he would track me down and immediately drag me back


    home. There was no such thing as being free.


    Besides… even if I couldn’t see it myself, I was sure there had to be a reason why he gave me the


    silver and suppressors. There had to be. Everything he’d done had always had a purpose. …Perhaps I


    was just missing something. “I’m sorry… I can’t do that,” I said quietly.


    “Raven, I can’t just send you back there, helpless to stop whatever is happening,” he argued, clearly


    unhappy with my response. “You don’t want to tell me the truth, sure, but your face says it all. The


    bruises on your ribs say it all. I know something is going on with him. I can feel the maniption a mile


    away.”


    That prickled me, instantly making me be a little defensive.


    There was nothing I could do and my hands were tied. It wasn’t as if this was easy for me or something


    I wanted. My ce was by my father’s side. The only ce I could ever be.


    The best thing for everyone was if Kieran just epted that and let it go already.


    …Which, of course, he didn’t.


    “You don’t think I haven’t thought about this? The man has a daughter who he keeps hidden away,


    rarely allowing them the opportunity to meet anyone outside,” he said. “That sounds exactly like


    istion, ensuring that you’re reliant on him, and only him.” “Stop,” I quickly warned, not liking where


    this was going “And then add in the fact that, despite being a rich man’s daughter, you have fighting


    skills sharper than most skilled warriors I’ve met. Skills far beyond any average learning. I can’t think of


    many reasons why you would need such a thing in a city like this, especially with the upbringing you


    should have had.”


    “…I said stop.”


    “It doesn’t take a genius to realise he’s using and abusing you, Raven,” he continued, ignoring my


    words. “Whether he handed you the pills or not, I already came to this conclusion days ago. If you just


    come with me, I can protect-.” “— Kieran, stop!” I finally yelled, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.


    Listening to all of this was too much. Both painful… and terrifying. Because if he had already figured


    out this much about me, then he was dangerously close to things he shouldn’t know. To pry any further


    would make it near impossible for me to keep him safe.


    “…Please stop. Please,” I begged. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” He finally took a moment to


    look at me properly, pausing just long enough to see my demeanour. “…I’m sorry, Raven… I didn’t


    mean to upset you,” he said softly. But I just shook my head, still trying to bite back the tears. He was


    making this so hard. So goddamn hard. Everything inside was now screaming at me to give in and tell


    him everything. To run away with him and pretend I could be someone new. But I couldn’t. It was too


    late for that.


    I went to say something else, to protest some more, but, as he continued to look at me with a face full


    of concern, eyes that held only sincerity… I felt myself crack.


    …I cracked just the tiniest bit under that pressure… and provided a confirmation I never expected to


    give. One that didn’t actually admit to anything, yet told him everything he needed to know.


    “…If my life is truly as bad as you say it is…,” I said, unable to hide the pain in my tone. “One full of


    sadness and abuse, and where I was helpless to the whims of an extremely powerful man in this city…


    why do you think I would stay?” No matter what he said to me, at the end of the day, I was still my


    father’s raven. Just because my cage bars weren’t always visible, it didn’t mean I couldn’t always feel


    them everywhere I went. Thest thing I wanted to do was to trap Kieran inside here along with me.


    “You think you’ve figured everything out, but you don’t know me, Kieran,” I continued, quickly regaining


    whateverposure I could muster. “And you don’t understand half of what you’re saying.” “Raven, I’m


    trying to tell you that he can’t touch you so long as youe with me,” he said.“ …I can protect you. I


    promise.”.


    But if I were to ept his help, it wouldn’t be *me* who needed protection. Already, I could visualise


    the mani folder now… reading his name at the top… knowing what it would mean…. 1


    I shuddered at the thought.


    “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” I said, already feeling my chest aching with the words I


    was about to speak. “But… I’m not interested in leaving. I’m sorry.”


    Before he could say anything further to make the decision harder, I quickly stood up and walked to the


    bedroom to get changed. Focusing on anything other than what was happening so I didn’t identally


    crack again. “I’ll stay around for a few more days in case you change your mind,” I heard him say,


    speaking from the other side of the door. “Unlike him, I’m not going to force you intoing with me. I


    want this to be your choice. Your decision. Something you clearly have never been given before.” Why


    was he making this so goddamn hard? I was already trembling so much, feeling my heart pulsing


    loudly in my chest. I didn’t need this to drag out any more than it was.


    But as he mentioned his return back home, it did make me realise something.


    That… this was most likely thest time I would ever see him. Not only because of the town difficulties


    he’d mentioned earlier, but it was also unlikely that I would be able to sneak out like this again. Doing


    so once had already been too risky.


    And as for future mutual events we might find each other at…? Well, I doubted my father would allow


    me to attend anything like the Mayor’s party again after what happenedst time


    No, this… this right here, this very moment… this was goodbye. …And as I thought on it more,ing


    to terms with what that meant, I suddenly felt an odd sense of rity. …Because whatever happened


    right now, it wouldn’t matter after today.


    It was a thought that made me immediately walk to the door, opening it up to reveal Kieran on the other


    side. He had one arm up against the doorframe, his body leant forwards in a way that implied his head


    had been resting on the wood only moments before.


    And, as I came face-to-face with him again, he instantly looked sharply up as if he were about to say


    something else. An expression that told me he hadn’t given up on trying to convince me yet.


    But that didn’t matter to me anymore, my mind now already made up. Before he could get a single


    word out, I quickly moved forward and pressed myself against


    him, catching him by surprise. And, instinctively, I gave myself over to that relentless urge I always felt


    whenever he was nearby


    1 arched my body upwards, weaving a hand through his hair, and right as a shiver of pleasure coursed


    through me… I brought my lips up to meet his.


    …And it was perfect. The exact way I always imagined it would feel. Maybe even better. And though I


    could tell he was reluctant at first, possibly questioning my sudden change in attitude, it didn’t take long


    before his mouth started to respond back. Moving against mine, drinking in every single sensation on


    offer… turning those sparks into mes.


    When his hand moved to my waist and pressed me closer to him, an excitement of possibilities


    instantly bubbled into my mind. I could tell that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. That,


    whatever this absurd obsession was, it was definitely felt mutually.


    Was he feeling himself burning in the heat of those mes too? Intoxicated by my scent like I was his? I


    couldn’t help but wonder what might happen if I truly did let gopletely at that very moment… if I


    forgot everything else and gave myself over entirely. …But this wasn’t that sort of kiss.


    No, this one was only meant in goodbye. And, though it pained me to do so, I slowly pulled myself


    away enough to meet his eyes. “I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” I said, taking a


    final moment to hold onto him, procrastinating what I needed to do. “You’ve given me knowledge that I


    might have gone the rest of my life without ever discovering, going about my days as I continued to


    think that I really was dangerous… that I was a freak. Now I can at least try to get better, even if that’s


    not in the way you want.” “…I thought that kiss was because you were agreeing to stay with me,” he


    said quietly, disappointment heavy in his tone.


    They were words that hurt me more than I thought they would, making me ache to take back everything


    I’d said and to agree to go with him. But this wasn’t about me. This was about loyalty to my father…


    and about protecting Kieran. “…I really am sorry, Kieran.” …And I stepped backwards out of his arms,


    now moving towards the exit.


    I grabbed my bag from the counter and immediately headed towards the front door, but it was as my


    hand was on the handle that I heard him speak behind me.


    “Wait,” he said, making me pause. “There is something you should know. Something that might make


    you reconsider.”


    And, reluctantly, I turned my head back to look at him, already struggling as it were with just leaving in


    light of what had happened between us. “What is it..?” I asked. But his expression only grew more


    intense, whatever he wanted to say clearly being


    something he was unsure about. As if he was undecided whether he should tell me.


    “Kieran… what is it?” I pressed. He finally took a deep breath and moved a step towards me. “I don’t


    know how to tell you this,” he said hesitantly. “…But he’s not your real father, Raven.”


    “What…? What do you mean?” “I mean… there is no biological way that Eric Reid could have fathered


    you.”Belonging ? N?velDram/a.Org.