"I see you''re becoming quicker at reading, or are you enjoying it more?"


    "It was short." I answer, but then start to wonder about what I just read: "The bystander effect, huh?"


    "Something you probably won''t ever experience." Quiller laughs.


    "No, actually I have... yesterday."


    He looks surprised.


    "There was a sick girl."


    "Sick... like in...?" He probably means the zombies.


    I shake my head: "They said it was in her head. They took her further down I believe."


    My friend looks rather perplexed: "They... have a floor underneath the ground one?"


    I nod: "I think so. I saw stairs going down"


    I believe that he might be thinking the same as me.


    This place definitely has its secrets and I''m not too sure if those are good or bad.


    I look out the window, it''s still light outside.


    "I''m going to visit Mae."


    Quiller nods: "I think that''s a good idea, she seems worried about you."


    Walking downstairs I look around for her.


    Sister Aileen finds me.


    "Ah Don, are you looking for Mae?"


    I nod.


    "I just saw her go to the graveyard." She points at one of the doors leading outside.


    I thank her and walk outside.


    As told, immediately spot her.


    She''s alone, her back is turned towards me, but by her manner of walking I know that it''s her.


    Around her there are strange chest-looking things, I believe are meant to be graves. There are also ones with crosses or just stones, imbedded with text I can''t read.


    Quickly I rush up to her: "Mae!"


    Shocked, she turns around: "Don? You haven''t left for bed yet?"


    I shake my head: "It''s still light out... and I was reading."


    A sad smile crosses her lips: "Reading? That''s good. Is it a book from here?"


    "There are books here?" I am surprised, I haven''t seen any around.


    "Plenty, though I guess I can understand you''ve never seen them. They''re religious books."


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    "Rali-jus?" I''m having trouble just saying the word.


    I can see the sun reflected in her eyes: "You know, stories about Gods and humanity. About creation and destruction. History and predictions..."


    "Is it an interesting story?" I ask, unsure if it''s a good question to ask.


    She turns her gaze at the sinking sun: "I think so, yes. What kind of book are you reading?"


    "About a sad guy."


    "Well that doesn''t sound really happy." Mae laughs: "And what happens to this guy?"


    "He has a job."


    Mae shakes her head: "You never really were the person to properly explain something, though somehow I believe you''re having more difficulty with it than you used to."


    I look down, I don''t want her to know. I know it would break her heart.


    "What about the re- ri... your book?" I quickly ask.


    "It''s about the creation of the world."


    "Creation?"


    Mae nods: "Yes, how we believe the world came to be and who made it."


    "Someone made it?"


    "We- or well most of the sisters here believe that the world- and humanity was created by the Goddess of blood."


    "Do you believe that?"


    Mae shakes her head again: "Although I am a sister of this church. I don''t believe in something like that. You of all people should know that."


    I laugh awkwardly: "Well... you know... people change..."


    Mae gives a sad smile and a gentle gust of wind makes her long hair dance: "From the two of us, you have changed the most. Or at least that''s what I feel like..."


    Just as the words land I can feel my heart grow heavier with guilt.


    Why can''t I still be the person I was?


    The look in her eyes... It''s one of grief.


    She believed that I had passed and yet I''m still here.


    Was her grief for nothing? Or is her grief for the person I used to be?


    Is there a way that I can help her feel less sad about it?


    I feel like a liar.


    Mae turns her gaze to the garden filled with plants both dead and alive.


    Reaching for her shoulder I gently tap it, but unable to look her in the eye I confess.


    "Mae... I forgot."


    "What do you mean?" She sounds surprised.


    Damnit, do I really have to explain it?


    "I forgot it all... I don''t remember... what the world was like before..."


    My throat hurts, I want to scream, but I don''t want to upset my friend any further.


    It''s quiet for a bit.


    Did the truth make her even more sad? That the past is forever lost to me?


    "Don..." She begins to speak: "I''m sorry."


    Why is she apologising?


    "I didn''t know it was that bad..."


    "Bad?" Is the only word able to leave my mouth.


    "The things that happened to you... just before and at the start of all this... was nothing short of a horrible nightmare."


    Gently she wraps her arms around me.


    "I''m sorry." She whispers this time: "I''m sorry I couldn''t protect you from it all."


    My head hurts.


    I don''t want to remember.


    Is it because it''s like she says...?


    That it''s all too horrible?


    I wish I knew. Yet I also wish that I will never know again.


    "What... happened...?" I quietly ask, staring at the sun that''s now almost completely down and the dark clouds coming closer into view.


    Rain.


    "Don, the people you were with, your family and all those around you were slaughtered."


    Slaughtered?


    As in ripped-apart?


    Eaten?


    I almost feel the need to gag.


    I do remember flashes.


    I remember the sound of flesh torn from bone.


    "Don, I believe that your mind might be suppressing your memories."


    Luckily Mae''s words take me back to the real world just in time.


    "Why?" I ask, feeling rather sickly.


    "It''s a way your mind protects itself. You''ve been through a lot, your mind is on survival-mode."


    "Then what about you?"


    "I''m lucky... or perhaps unlucky. I still remember it all, but I didn''t see the things you saw. Both times I was quickly rescued, while you were left to wander around and search for help."


    This is not the first time I wandered around?


    "Don, if I may be so bold." She suddenly whispers warningly: "I don''t recommend that you stay here."


    "What do you mean?" I ask, almost panicking. The sudden shift in her tone has taken me off guard.


    "I can''t tell you."


    "Why?"


    "Promise me you''ll leave." She almost hisses at me.


    "Mae, come with us."


    Mae looks surprised: "We?"


    Oh right, I forgot to tell her about Quiller. I guess the other sisters haven''t told her about it either.


    I shake my head: "Another friend of mine... you can''t see him though..."


    "An imaginary friend?"


    "Something like that... a ghost."


    Mae laughs and the conversation turns light hearted again.


    "I guess with some things you''ll always remain the same..."


    "Huh?"


    "You should probably think about shortening your hair again, though. It almost looks like a bird''s nest."


    "It''s that bad?" I ask rather shocked.


    Mae crosses her arms and nods: "Even when we stayed at the camp it looked better. Well our teacher there used to be a hairdresser so he cut everyone''s hair once in a while."


    Mae continues for a bit to tease me about my hair, after that we talk some more about more casual things. Like food or books.


    As the sun is nowhere to be seen anymore and air starts to get colder we wish each other goodnight and return to our rooms.