It was a cold night, the type of night his silver was doing him some good. He’d given half a dose to that woman, and he’d been using extra pretty much every day of the trip. Kimmy had been particularly anxious this trip, and Braun always used more when Kim was on edge. It was Baylen, Braun knew that, the guy was presumptively scummy, he didn’t even hide his perversions like most decent men. It had been eight days travelling with him and guarding his cart, the very first night on the road when Baylen thought Braun was out of earshot he had offered Kim ten pieces to spend the night with him, every night since he had offered more. It wasn’t her fault she was on edge. It wasn’t her fault he was using more, she was just his reason. Or his excuse. It was hard to tell the difference lately. Two and a half doses of silver a day, that’s what he was up to, a dose in the morning, a half midday to keep him level, and another to help him sleep. He''d been using four the past five days to get through this escort. He knew Kim didn’t mean any harm when she snapped at him or looked at him accusingly, or outright accused him. Kim loved him, and he loved her, but that didn’t mean the looks she shot him now, made the day any easier. At night when she refused to sleep even if he said he’d watch over her, he wouldn’t want to sleep either he guessed, if he had to worry Baylen would want him in his sleep. Before tonight he hadn’t really thought Baylen would do that to Kim, but he’d known before this she could read people better than him. Or he thought she could, maybe she just saw the worst in people. Maybe people were just worse than Braun thought. He knew he was a worse person than he let people know, maybe that’s just how people were.


    Two and a half doses the first day, he was already using three on day two, and four the past five days. That plus the half dose he gave to the woman, that''s twenty six of his forty doses. It was twenty five really, he hadn’t used his sleeping dose yet today. But that only left fourteen doses for the rest of the three days left in their escort. He thought he’d brought plenty extra, they couldn’t do another job with Baylen. Thinking about all the extra shine he’d used had Braun’s rage starting to simmer.


    “That bitch is always shooting me those hateful fucking looks, doesn’t she know everything i fucking do for her. Doesn’t she know I’d never fucking hurt her, Gods be damned I could teach her a fucking lesson for all the silver she’s cost me. I’ve always protected her, I’ve never so much as touched her, for all the damn good it’s done me. She doesn’t think I’d like to touch her, that I deserve a chance, she treats woman way worse than I fucking do, she’s got at least ten whores in different cities that have her listed as a priority client. I’ve never so much as made a pass at her. Fuck her, fuck her and her damned problem’s, I never touched her. I could touch her, if she’d just let me, she’d see that a man could take care of her. I do take care of her, I’ve never let anyone hurt her, if Baylen laid a finger–”


    Snapping out of the tirade he had been whispering to himself, he remembered she was alone with Baylen. His head snapped towards the cart, how long had it been since he had checked on her, had she drifted asleep, she''d barely been sleeping for the last eight days. He knew, in his heart he knew that was the main reason for her erratic behavior, her anger, her accusations, it was almost never like this when they were just living in the city, when they were safe, when she was safe. His anger deflated instantly, what was wrong with him, why did he get like this, was it the shine? Was it just who he was? He rushed to the cart.


    “Kim? Kimmy?!”


    Her head popped out the back of the cart, bow in hand.


    “Robbers?! How many?!”


    With a heavy sigh Braun dropped his head into one of his hands, his sword hanging in his other. In his panic he’d pulled it out without knowing.


    “B what’s up, I don’t see anything.”


    “Oh uh, no, nothing Kim, I just didn’t know how long it had been.”


    “It’s been a few hours, we can swap shifts, get some shuteye B.”


    Kim hopped out the back of the cart, slinging her bow back over her shoulder and holding her hand out for the torch. Braun put the torch in its slot on the cart.


    “No Kim, you need some real sleep, it''s a blistering cold out here, there’ll be no raiders tonight. I’ll watch over you and the girl while you sleep tonight okay, I’ll be right there by your side. I won’t let Baylen hurt you Kimmy.”


    One of the first smiles since they’d left Loudend crept onto her face, a soft smile, a small smile, but a real smile nonetheless.


    “Baylen can’t hurt me B, you know that.”


    “True, but you need sleep Kim, real sleep.”


    Kim nodded and they both made their way into the cart. Braun had laid the mystery woman on the pile of furs, there was an indention next to where she was laying, clearly where Kim had been sitting next to her. Braun made his way over spreading the furs out a little more for her to lay down.


    “You think she’ll mind waking up to a strange woman next to her?”


    “Nah Kim, she’ll just be grateful she’s not alone I’d imagine. Just try not to touch this one in your sleep, based on that dagger she was packing you might lose a hand if you tried.”


    Braun laughed heartily and Kim punched his shoulder lightly.


    “You’re a real prick to keep bringing that up, you know.”


    She smiled as she said it, that was Kim, it had been about a week but there she was, same as she’d always been, she just needed to know she was safe. Who wouldn’t? Brauns head dropped a bit, shame showing mildly on his face.


    “What''s wrong Braun?”


    “Nah nothing Kim, I’m sorry I didn’t do this for you sooner.”


    “Don’t be ridiculous B, it’s not like we can just leave the cart unguarded every night, we wouldn’t be doing our jobs.”


    Kim laid down, facing away from the woman. Braun pulled over the big rocker chair Baylen kept in the corner of his cart and set it up so he’d be able to watch both the women and Baylen without moving around.


    “Hey Kim, before you drift off, would it be alright if I borrowed off your pipe to stay up? I''m running low on silver to make it through the rest of the trip and I need something to take the edge off.”


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    “Of course, just save me at least four red leaves.”


    “You know me, I don’t need much smoke, I’ll probably only end up using half of one.”


    Kim nodded as she drifted off. Braun made his way over to her pack, he knew where she kept her pipe and which pocket stored the leaves. The leaves were the size of his not inconsiderable hands. He folded and broke off half a red leaf leaving five and a half of those and six of the green leaves, then walked back to the chair. He knew she had at least a couple blue leaves somewhere, but she hid those from him. She barely ever used the blue leaves, usually only on those nights where the terror wouldn''t leave her. The green leaves were good for relaxation, not very intense at all, just a mild calming effect. The red leaves would keep you alert for hours, if need be you could stave off weeks of sleep with red leaves if you had enough, that is, before you would just fall over dead. He pulled out one of his empty silver packages and dropped the half a red leaf onto it. Rocking in the chair he rolled the paper back and forth between his fingers, grinding up the leaf. He folded the paper over once more and continued grinding it up, once it was fine he folded the paper a final time for the pour and dropped it into the pipe. Setting the pipe on his lap, Braun grabbed his Essence match out of his breast pocket, a small jagged rock about the length and width of a finger, at the top of it was a small opaque red tinged sphere that would glow bright red when you blew on it. Every mercenary carried one, most smoked, but even the ones that didn’t would carry one to start campfires, cook fires, light up flaming arrows, you could blow on one and drop it into a cup of water and wait for it to boil clean. Braun held it to the pipe and took a puff. Coughing aggressively, Kim stirred a bit and shushed him. His next hit was smaller, he always forgot how strong Kim’s leaves were, she didn’t smoke red leaves every day usually, but on this escort she had, it was how she’d stayed up pretty much since they left Loudend. The green ones she would smoke a bit of most every day, just after she ate lunch or before she sat down for tea, usually once a day, sometimes less often.


    The effects of the red leaf hit him in short order, filling him with warmth and sitting him up straight. Feeling it kick in, Braun flicked his Essence match side to side and the glowing died away. It was safe to touch as soon as the red light faded and he placed it in his pocket, then he closed the lid to the pipe to save the rest of it for if the tiredness hit him before sunrise. Locking the pipe closed he slid it in the same pocket as the match. Feeling too antsy to sit and rock, he walked the length of the cart back and forth climbing the sets of stairs on the side of the cart walls to look out and make sure the cart was indeed safe. It was. Braun hated red leaf if he was being honest. He couldn’t not think when he smoked it, but every mercenary carried at least some, nothing kept you more alert, nothing staved off sleep like red leaf. The cold no longer bothered him at least, but he couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking of Kim, thinking of his mom, remembering what he could of his dad. He hated red leaf… but for her he didn’t mind. Well he did, but he’d make it work anyways.


    She had always been there for him when it mattered. That first day in the orphanage he thought she hated him, but when those older boys started picking on him she had stepped right up and told them to fuck off. And instead of just beating him up, they beat the shit out of both of them. She had to know that was gonna happen, he’d asked her a hundred times since then why she’d done it, and all she would ever say about it is “getting beat alone is worse than getting beat together” and he’d taken that to heart, since that day, when one of them got beat figuratively or literally, they got beat together.


    They had been through a lot together since then. More than a few near death experiences, only three of them being Braun’s fault, and only two of those being because of his gambling and drug use. Too many bar brawls to count, Kim didn’t even drink like that, she just enjoyed a good free for all. A couple extended stays at whatever infirmary the town had at the time, both of those were him actually, and Kim had stayed with him both times. Hundreds of thefts, almost all of those being Kimmy, a dozen or so murders, split pretty evenly between the two of them, and enough escorts or hunts to pay for either one of them to retire at least once if not for their pricier habits. It’s a good thing they were some of the best mercenaries this side of Helmura, because despite his horrible luck with gambling and expensive high end drugs, Kim still somehow always spent more than him, between whore’s and betting on fights she also got arrested more than he did, and the bribes were never cheap. To be fair to Kim she was also the one of them that put part of their earnings into expensive and rare trade that would increase in value over time, that hoard of treasure could probably fund a small army at this point, and Kim said that in ten years if they keep adding to it they should be able to buy a city. Not that they would, they would probably just buy expensive houses in the best district of their favorite city and spend their golden years fucking, gambling, and getting high. That sounded nice to Braun, but if he was being honest he loved their life, nothing gave him a high like fighting, propper fighting, a fight where losing means dying.


    And there it is again, the thoughts caught up to him, dying…Why had his father died, why had his mother never been able to let it go. Braun didn’t even know for sure what happened to his dad, he knew his mom said he died in a war, and Braun had always made sure to say that to anyone that asked. But when his mom got really high she would say things, look what your father made me, how she’d wished she’d never touched the stuff. One time when Braun was nine his mom caught him smoking and she’d said then and there in front of all of his friends, you’ll end up just like him, she had beat him bloody that night, she had beat him so bad he didn’t make it into school for two weeks. Braun didn’t touch smoke again for another ten years. Until on a hunt with Kim and some other mercenaries they were in a Ghoul cave system. The older mercenaries explained how Ghouls operate, on their own they were barely more dangerous than a wild animal, but they fight as a pack and communicate in a high pitched frequency that only they can hear, and from more than a half mile away. They can see perfectly in complete darkness and their claws are hard and sharp enough to create the cave systems they live in. The captain of the band had said at one point they are barely knee high little flesh eaters that you can cleave in two with not much more than a solid swing, but because they breed so fast we could be walking into a hive of thousands of these little fuckers, and they will kill you while walking over the corpse of their own children without so much as a fuckin whine. Braun remembered that part as clearly as anything, the quiet, they were silent, completely, didn’t matter if they were biting the throat out of one of the mercenaries or getting their own arm cut off, they didn’t make a fucking sound. The band made sounds, the band screamed and cussed and spit and yelled. And still nothing but the sound of their little feet clambering on the floors of the caves.


    Before they went in, it had been made clear that before they engaged with the Ghouls they would all need to smoke some red leaf, and practice a formation to let people smoke more once needed in the middle of a battle circle. The captain had said that his first time clearing out Ghouls his band of fifty mercs fought for more than three days straight. Thousands upon thousands of the little fuckers, wave after wave, never slowing down. He said only fourteen of them had lived through it. Bruan’s group had gotten lucky, they were only fighting for about six hours, several hundred of them and only two deaths of their own. The Ghoettles had been reported early enough that they hadn’t grown out of control yet. Since then Braun smoked very rarely, and usually only for a need of one sort or another. He preferred his shine. His shine… Braun looked over at Baylens sleeping silhouette, and then over to his pack.


    “Baylen?”


    He spoke loud enough that if the man was awake he should have heard him.


    “Baylen?”


    A little louder this time, and still nothing. Braun couldn’t take much more of this, his brain just wouldn’t stop thinking, it wouldn’t shut the fuck up for just a goddamn moment. He looked out the cart and it was still blistering cold, he looked over to his pack again. Braun grabbed the rocker chair and sat it right in front of the girls in between them and Baylen, he sat down, rocking for a moment, then another moment. It felt like hours in his head. His hands began to shake.


    “Just a bit. – just a quarter sleeve.”


    Braun got up and walked over to his pack pulling out a sleeve of silver. Almost instantly he felt some relief, he walked back to his chair looking over at Kim as he did so. He felt a pang of regret.


    “Just a pinch, just enough to quiet the thoughts.”


    Braun unfolded the sleeve and pinched a bit of silver between his fingers, pushing it into his nose and inhaling, suddenly he was okay, just a pinch. Rocking in his chair a smile spread across his face as he finally found peace, just a moment of peace–