“If it concerns you, please tell me. I want to help you.” Just a few words of Cedar''s, along with a kiss on her hand, had encouraged her to change her mind in an instant.


    Lucille hadn''t wanted to tell him since this topic was much too unimportant for her to bother him with it now. But Cedar didn''t seem like he would accept her silence. So, Lucille talked. “This is a letter from my father, but apparently...” She hesitated for a moment, but her lover stared at her so that she couldn''t hold back at all. “I read the first page but noticed that he added another letter.” A lump formed in her throat and made it impossible to speak loudly. So, Lucille became quieter here. “I think it''s...from my mother.” Just acknowledging that out loud almost made her tear up, and she felt pitiful because of it.


    Luckily, Cedar just let go of her hands to extend his arms toward her. She followed his lead and moved closer so that he could hug her. He put one hand on her back and one on her head while he carefully patted her. “Everything will be fine. You are in full control of what to do here. You can read it or put it away. And if you want to read it, you can do so whenever you want.”


    Lucille knew that. And the fact that she knew that she would read this letter made everything worse. She should just ignore her mother, much like Emily had ignored her daughter. And yet, Lucille couldn''t bring herself to do that. She still wanted to take a look at every single trace her mother had left in her life. Lucille was angry at herself for being so weak.


    Cedar seemed to notice that without making her say anything. He gently stroked over her hair without rushing and left the choice of whether she wanted to say something to her.


    Lucille held onto him while trying to ignore the feelings that were boiling up inside her but had to admit defeat in the end. The words flowed out of her before she could prevent it. “I want to read it. I want to see whether...whether she cares at least a little. This is the first time she wrote a letter that wasn''t for my birthday and...” She wanted to know why Emily had written this letter. Apparently, even thinking about that made her voice crack, so she couldn''t even hide her emotions.


    Cedar continued to pet her while humming to her. “Then we can read it together. You can read it later when you calmed down, or we can do it now as well.”


    Lucille couldn''t wait for much longer, or the tension would wreck her. “I will read it now.” She said that with less conviction in her voice than she would have liked. She slowly loosened Cedar''s hug to lean forward to be able to touch the nightstand. She reached for the envelope she had hidden under the tray and pulled it out before moving closer to her lover again. Her hands were shaking, and yet, she refused to delay this.


    So, Lucille turned around, with her back facing her lover, to allow him to read too. Then she removed the letters from the envelope. She put aside her father''s letter and focused on the letter with the other handwriting. She tried to unfold the paper, but her fingers refused to work as they normally would. To her embarrassment, she took three attempts before she managed to open the letter properly. By then, all of her confidence was gone. She didn''t dare to lift the paper to read it.


    Cedar behind her rested his chin on her shoulder, even though this position couldn''t have been pleasant for him. He patiently waited for at least a minute before he began to press kisses to her cheek. He only stopped after kissing her a dozen times and then whispered into her ear. “Are you sure you want to do it now?”


    Lucille was sure. But she was also aware that reading this would wreck her emotionally again. And at the moment, Cedar was sick. She actually needed to help him instead of forcing him to take care of her. So, it would probably be better if she pulled herself together and read this later when her lover was fine. However, she also knew that delaying this wouldn''t be good for her at all. She needed to get this over with now, and she needed Cedar to be with her while she read it. “I want to know what she is thinking.” Lucille''s voice was barely audible, even though she tried her best. “I will read it. I just... I''m scared of what she wrote.”


    Cedar pulled her a little closer to him so that she was actually worried about leaning against his wound. “It will be fine. I doubt that it will tell you more than what you already found out. If your father sent it to you, it would surely not contain anything bad, or he would have warned you, right?”


    That was most likely true. Lucille shouldn''t need to fear what her mother wrote her when the letters had always contained the same things anyway. She told herself that a few times before she took a deep breath. Lucille lowered her gaze and lifted the letter to read it. She was much more tense than she wanted to admit, and her heart beat quicker than normal too.


    The letter began with the same greeting as always. But that was about the only thing that was the same.


    Emily didn''t wish her daughter a happy birthday here. Instead, she asked whether Lucille was fine desperately, her handwriting much more rushed and almost unreadable at certain lines. She suddenly mentioned the palace despite never having done so before and even wrote about a horrible incident she hadn''t heard about.


    Lucille took a moment before she understood what this was about. “It seems like my mother just found out about the attack on the Valerian mansion. She genuinely seems like she is worried.” She couldn''t even deny that, even though saying it out loud pained her a bit.


    Cedar waited for a moment, and when she didn''t speak, he opened his mouth. “It''s surprising that she didn''t hear about it until now. She must live in a very remote place. Her handwriting looks a bit shaky too. That proves one thing once and for all. Your mother is definitely alive and writes new letters regularly.”


    Lucille weakly nodded. It seemed like she could rely on that at least. Until now, she hadn''t been sure whether her mother hadn''t just prepared letters in advance, but they truly seemed to be new each time she received them. And that wasn''t even everything. “She wants me to write a response letter too.” Which meant that Emily had no issues exchanging letters with her daughter or her husband. If that was the case, why had she even run away? Had her damned sickness really convinced her of the fact that she had to leave despite not hating her family?


    To Lucille, none of this made sense. She couldn''t understand her mother''s decision nor did she accept the result. No matter what the reason was, it was cruel of a parent to leave their child alone. And if Raymond''s temper hadn''t been the cause for his ex-wife to run away, this made even less sense.


    Lucille could have complained about that a hundred times, but she didn''t dare to do that. She just stayed silent and stared at the letter in her hands. She was shaking, and yet, she read the text all the way to the end.


    Emily''s normally beautiful handwriting was much more unsteady, and the letter had been shorter too. All in all, she had just voiced her concern about the attack on the Valerian estate and that she was shocked upon finding this out now after almost a year. She asked Lucille whether she was fine and begged for a single response letter to affirm this.


    Lucille hadn''t understood much about her mother''s thought process before, and now she understood even less. She stared at the lines of sloppy writing in front of her before putting the letter on the table. She hugged her lover''s arms, which were wrapped around her waist.


    Cedar seemed to know what she needed now. He began kissing her neck and cuddled with her without saying anything. They remained quiet like this for a few minutes before he spoke up in a soft voice. “Do you want to see her?”


    Lucille had expected that question. But it didn''t matter whether she wanted to see Emily anyway, so asking it didn''t make much sense. She stiffened a little while not daring to look over her shoulder. “What do you mean?”


    Cedar replied in a warm tone as if he wanted to keep her from being too shocked. “She wanted to know whether you are fine. You could use that to ask her to meet you. After all, you can show that you are unharmed best when you are present.”


    For a moment, Lucille considered it. Even if she hadn''t admitted it to herself, wasn''t her desire to see her mother apparent? But then she quickly remembered their general situation. Emily had run away because she didn''t want to see her husband or child. If her daughter came running after her, Emily would surely be upset. Her mother''s displeased expression was the last thing Lucille needed to see when she finally met Emily again. “She doesn''t want to see me, so I can''t just...” She couldn''t force herself into the life of a person who didn''t want anything to do with her. Still, admitting that her own mother didn''t want contact with her was painful.


    A few seconds of silence followed before Cedar replied, still with that soft voice that seemed to lull her in. “To me, only what you want matters.”


    Lucille had no idea what to say about that. She just let her head hang down.


    Cedar continued when he noticed that she didn''t say anything. “Even if making her see you regularly might be difficult, you can at least ask for one meeting. You have the right to see her to ask questions.” He paused for a few seconds before resuming a bit quicker. “But you aren''t forced to do that. I just wanted to tell you that you have the option. If you wish to see your mother, I can find her within a few days. You could meet her once more to close this chapter.”


    Lucille wasn''t sure whether she was strong enough to do that. Cedar had gotten over his father''s death, seemingly without many issues. But she couldn''t do the same. Even looking into Emily''s eyes wouldn''t make it better. It would just make everything worse. After all, meeting her mother wouldn''t change the fact that Emily had abandoned her daughter for some reason. Lucille was sure that she would cry a lot if she actually met her mother. So, she was more than reluctant to go see Emily.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    And yet, a small part of her desperately wished to catch even a glimpse of her mother''s face. She still missed her after all. But she lacked the strength to hold on while seeing her, so she should probably forget this immediately.


    Lucille thought that, but different words left her mouth. “I will think about it. But I don''t believe that I...” She couldn''t finish that sentence.


    Cedar already seemed to know what she wanted to say though. “It''s fine. We are doing this to make you happy.” He gently stroked over her head while kissing her neck. Then he slowly brought his hands to her shoulders and began massaging her as if he wanted to distract her. “Don''t feel pressured and just do what you want to do. I will support you all the way.” Once again, he was the one consoling her, even though he was in a much worse state. His mother had almost killed him a few days ago, and now his lover complained about her mother not seeing her.


    Lucille felt horrible about that. She forced herself to relax in his hold and leaned against him while closing her eyes. She would give herself a minute to calm down, and then she would push away this topic as far as she could. “I will-” She allowed herself to slouch against him, and just at that moment, she noticed that her lover flinched a little. She immediately remembered what the problem was and jolted back to her sitting position. “Your stomach! I can''t just lean against you like this.” She spun around to look at her lover, only for him to smile as if nothing had happened. That was enough to make a small amount of anger flame up inside of her. “Cedar! You have to say something if I hurt you! You can''t just stay quiet.”


    Cedar didn''t seem too affected, even though his stomach should ache so much that it was unbearable. “It''s really fine. The doctor gave me medicine, remember? I''m alright with you brushing over the wound, so you don''t need to worry.” He extended his arms toward her. “So, please don''t run away like that.” How could he still smile despite his current state?


    Lucille glanced down at his bandages and was relieved to see that no blood had colored the fabric red. So, she hadn''t hurt him too badly. Still, she couldn''t just accept that he hid it when he was in pain. “The doctor may have given you medicine, but that won''t make all of the pain disappear. And it will only get better if you don''t injure the area around your wounds again. So, you have to say something if it gets bad! And I definitely won''t touch your injuries either.”


    Cedar stopped smiling for a moment and pouted at her. “But I can''t go on for so long without hugging you. You can''t just stay away from me.” Either he was doing it on purpose, or he had no idea how hard it was for his lover to keep her distance when he held his arms in her direction like that.


    Lucille fought the urge to embrace him for a few seconds, but she quickly gave in. She moved toward him again and positioned herself in front of his left side. Like this, she should be able to touch him without laying her hands on his injuries. “I never said that I wouldn''t hug you. I just refuse to get closer to your wounds.” She slowly closed the distance between them and hugged him with great care.


    Cedar quickly destroyed her efforts again by wrapping his arms around her and just pulling her onto his lap. He rested his chin on her shoulder and let out a content hum before he replied. “Good. Because I would be very upset if this wound served as an excuse for you to keep your distance. I don''t want you to stay away from me after all.” He nuzzled his cheek against her and thus eliminated all of her plans to loosen his hold on her.


    “I don''t want to stay away either. I just worry about you. Cedar, I really think that you aren''t careful enough.” Lucille knew that giving him a speech about valuing himself wouldn''t help, but she still wanted to say it. Every time her lover acted tough despite actually hurting, it pained her as well, so she needed to make sure that he understood that he could show weakness here. Lucille searched for the right words for a moment. “Cedar, I-”


    Just at that moment, someone knocked on the door again. The moment was extremely unfitting.


    Cedar glanced down at his lover as if he wanted to let that person wait to speak to her, but she nodded at him. So, he turned his head to face the door. “You may enter.”


    It only took a second before a man came inside. The guard bowed, and as he lifted his head again, he blinked a few times upon seeing the couple cuddling with each other. He didn''t dare to say anything about that though. “I sincerely apologize for the disturbance. A guest came to visit you, Your Royal Highness. He claims that his name is Reeve and that he is acquainted with you.”


    Cedar looked at the door and hesitated for a single second while once again making eye contact with his lover, who nodded again, before replying. “Thank you. I won''t be able to talk to him for long, but I will greet him. He can come in. Tell him that, please.”


    The guard bowed again before he left the room.


    It only took a short moment before someone else stepped inside. This time, it was Reeve, who was now wearing servant clothes instead of his previous dark costumes. He seemed to be a bit uncertain, but upon seeing Cedar, a frown appeared on his face, and he was more upset than intimidated. He closed the door behind him before stepping closer to the bed and bowing.


    Cedar was silent for a moment before he replied. “What leads you here, Reeve?”


    The other man straightened his posture again before he replied. “Hello, Your Royal Highness. I...wanted to check on you. I heard that you were severely injured, and I had to make sure that you were fine. At least, fine to some extent. It''s good to see that you are alright again. It''s...pleasant to meet you too, Young Lady.” He scanned the couple with slight uncertainty before looking at Cedar''s lover.


    Lucille met his eyes and quickly greeted him as well. “Good day, Reeve. It''s...nice that you came to visit him.” Even if it was a bit odd since Reeve had worked for Camille at some point. But that was in the past, so it was probably fine for him to be here as long as the patient wasn''t angry.


    Cedar looked like he was rather unaffected by this guest since he just kept smiling as usual. It wasn''t even one of those extremely forced smiles, so he really didn''t care. “I didn''t expect you to show up here, but since you came, we won''t send you away immediately. As you can see, I am perfectly fine. I will need some more rest for a few days, and I will be as good as before again.” He definitely wouldn''t be after such a short time. He would not touch anything related to work or training during the next month.


    Lucille would personally make sure of that.


    Even Reeve, who had no idea how bad the prince''s wounds were, looked like he was a bit skeptical. “I heard that you almost died, Your Royal Highness. I don''t think you should act like nothing happened. You always tended to overdo it after you got hurt. There is no need to do that when everyone in the palace will protect you anyway. So, just rest for a bit before you train again.”


    Cedar refuted that just a second later. “Says the person who is supposed to protect me but runs away at all times.” He turned his head away but continued to speak. “You really are a useless guard. Do you know that? You never seem to be there when my stomach is slit open. Last time, you weren''t around, and this time, you weren''t either. I think I should dismiss you. You keep earning money without actually helping at all. We can''t continuously throw away funds like this.”


    Reeve blinked twice before he processed that. For some reason, a small smile grew on his lips. “I understand, Your Royal Highness. I will give my best to work harder. I will ensure that you are safe in the future. But since I''m not good at fighting, it might be better to use me as a messenger. I''m great at climbing up trees and transporting letters. Please allow me to hand over your letters in the future. I will not disappoint.”


    Cedar still didn''t let go of his lover and just leaned his head against hers while he replied. “You better hope that you won''t mess up. I won''t save you if you slip and fall down a tree again. You don''t need to sprain your ankle for the second time. But for now...” He slowly turned his head so that he could look right into Reeve''s eyes. “Something else is more important. I wanted to ask you about that. I heard you didn''t know about the attack.”


    Lucille had barely been able to think about the fact that Reeve might actually help them in the future before the next topic was addressed. At the mention of the assassination attempt, her face fell. She wasn''t the only one that felt like this either.


    Reeve''s mood quickly deteriorated again. His smile faded, and he averted his eyes for a moment before looking at the prince again. “I have to apologize for that. I never noticed that your mother was planning anything, even though it was my task to keep an eye on her. But she never mentioned anything nor did she make me carry around orders like usual. She didn''t even ask me to come with her to support her while this was going on nor did any of the colleagues I know appear. I only found out afterward.” He hesitated a bit and swallowed before resuming. “But now I think that I overlooked a very crucial hint. I should have guessed that something was going on. After all, she was very happy that one evening.”


    Lucille nodded in affirmation without really wanting to do it. When that woman was happy, one could assume that she wished to hurt her children, especially Cedar, in some way.


    Cedar noticed how she nodded and took that as a cue to kiss her forehead. Then he focused on Reeve again and replied. “What did she do?”


    Reeve thought back to what he was talking about for a moment before he spoke up. “She was smiling to herself for a whole afternoon. That was about a week before the hunting festival. She sometimes talked to herself, which made it even creepier. I didn''t get too close to her because I was a bit intimidated, but I tried to listen to her anyway.” He was silent for a few seconds before adding the rest in a smaller voice. “I think she talked to you the whole time. She mentioned your name and called you by some nicknames while saying that you would finally be back. She said something about you needing her to take care of you. She mentioned it being like when you...when you tried to leave the last time or something like that.”


    Within a split second, Cedar''s mood changed. His smile widened, and it was easy to see that he covered up his anger with that. “Like last time? I presume that she means that she will lull me back into trusting her because she sat by my bed for a while? She purposefully brought me to the brink of death because she hoped that I would change my mind about her then? That''s awfully stupid, isn''t it?”


    Reeve''s face scrunched up. “I wouldn''t call that stupid. It''s more psychopathic and cruel. Your mother is sick. I''m glad to see that you are still able to continue somewhat normally. I was already worried about you being affected by this for much longer.”


    Cedar''s response came immediately, and as always when he was upset, he changed the topic. “I''m fine. Worry about yourself first. What are you going to do from now on? Do you have any plans for the future? You can''t spy on Mother for much longer. So, you have to think about what to do with so much new freedom.”


    Reeve remained silent for a moment before he replied while he hid his hands behind his back. “His Majesty actually...offered that I could stay. He said that he needed some people to take care of unpleasant things behind closed doors and that people like me could help. Officially, I would be a royal guard and could help you as long as I prove that I''m loyal.” That was an awfully good deal for someone who could have been put on trial for treason.


    Lucille turned to her lover to check his reaction. Cedar didn''t seem too upset, so she relaxed. If the emperor and the prince thought that it was fine, it appeared to be alright for Reeve to stay here. Having additional help could never be bad, right?


    Cedar accepted the news seemingly without caring too much. “It would be good for you to work for the royal family. Then you would have a secure home and income. If you want to accept, you just have to get rid of your cowardice. From now on, blind loyalty because you are scared won''t be helpful anymore. Think about your actions before you do what is best for you. And don''t mess up the interrogation with Leon. He will know if you lie, and you won''t like what happens if he thinks that you are a traitor.”


    Reeve let out a nervous chuckle while he brought his hand to his head and scratched the back of his neck. “He talked to me already. I thought I would die. Lord Astame is rather...intimidating. As one would assume one of the best assassins Artias has ever seen to be.”


    Lucille hadn''t said much before, and now she was completely speechless. When had she been supposed to figure out that Leon was an assassin?