Azul returned from the disastrous venom removal session, anxious for this all to be over tomorrow, only to find an even larger disaster waiting for him in the entry to the closed Mostro Lounge.


    "Jade. What. Is. This."


    "Oh my, Azul, I merely thought I’d make the atmosphere more… conducive to a pleasant interaction. A little warmth. A little privacy. A little—"


    "Jade, I swear, if you say ‘romance’ I will drown you in the aquarium myself."


    Jade smiled as he adjusted a candle on a table.


    "I would never.”


    "Undo all of it. Immediately."


    "Ah, but wouldn’t it be a shame if Yuu didn’t see all the effort I put into this first? And it would be so very convenient, if I let her know all of the lovely things you haven’t told her yet."


    “You’re reading into this, Jade.”


    “Perhaps… but does she know how long you stare after her each time she leaves… for years?—not that I blame you, of course. She is quite something to watch, what with those pretty human legs.”


    Azul went rigid as realization dawned. Yuu WAS due any moment. And Floyd and Jade were being incredibly loose-lipped.


    "You wouldn’t."


    "Wouldn’t I?"


    “Dare I ask what in the sevens has gotten into you and Floy—”


    Before Azul could properly finish that sentence, or even finish fully forming the threats that came to his mind when it came to Jade’s behavior at the moment. Before he could even strangle him properly, he heard a small, feminine ‘ahem,’ from the doorway, and knew that his time was up.


    Azul could practically hear the gears turning in Yuu’s head as she took in the same room that he had, and somehow with her here, it all looked even more incriminating.


    Jade had outdone himself.


    The entry tables of the Mostro Lounge were arranged with the precision of a man who knew exactly how to create an atmosphere. The usual pristine table settings had been altered—just subtly enough to suggest something intentional.


    Soft, bioluminescent lanterns cast a low, shimmering glow over the tabletops, making the polished surfaces gleam with an almost underwater illusion. The tablecloths, usually deep navy, had been swapped for a richer, midnight blue, embroidered with delicate silver threads that mimicked the swirling currents of the sea. At the very center of each table sat an elegant, hand-blown glass bowl, inside which drifted clusters of glowing sea flora. Not too bright, not too dim—just enough to catch the eye and bathe the surrounding area in a cool, ethereal glow. Small, delicate shells had been arranged along the edges, their pearlescent hues gleaming faintly under the light.


    Of course, that was where any ‘subtlety’ ended.


    Yuu''s menu, unlike any of the others, had been personalized. The Mostro Lounge’s usual scripted elegance remained, but the dish names had been tweaked—each one a playful nod to something very specific about her.


    A cocktail labeled "Land-dweller’s Dilemma" promised a drink so strong it could almost make someone forget their existential crises. "Grim’s Favorite (But You Deserve Better)" offered a high-end seafood dish—pointedly not tuna.


    The lights were dimmed. Candles were everywhere. Violin music played through the speakers in the back.


    Jade, ever the picture of mischief in a butler’s suit, stood off to the side, watching Yuu’s reaction with a knowing smirk.


    "Oh?" he mused, feigning innocence as she eyed the table settings with suspicion. "Did something catch your eye?"


    Azul clocked Yuu’s discomfort rising as the details registered.


    “Wow, Azul. When you said dinner…. I suppose you never do anything halfway.”


    Azul, internally stamping down the roil of emotion in his own frame, bit out the first words that came to him.


    "I. Had. Nothing. To. Do. With. This."


    Jade swanned between them, already laying plates onto the nearest table, suddenly the picture of angelic innocence.


    "Our dear Azul was simply hoping to make you feel comfortable."


    "I see….” said Yuu, her eyes narrowing on Jade—thank the sevens, the woman had a modicum of intelligence. “You had nothing to do with this either, I suppose, Jade?”


    Jade actually managed to respond with a straight face under her scrutiny.


    "Why, I am but a humble employee."


    That, however, was where Azul’s relief ended. Yuu turned her attention back on him, smirking.


    "So, Azul. Candles? Music? Me staying the night… is this where you tell me we’re sharing a room?”


    Azul nearly choked. "Absolutely not—"


    The kitchen door slammed open, and Floyd swanned out, bearing covered platters.


    "WHOOO’S READY FOR LOVE~?" he sing-songed.


    Then, to Azul’s cumulative horror, Floyd began a sort of rhythmic server’s dance as he laid out the platters, loudly belting a song he had evidently composed himself:


    Romance is in the air, Zulie’s finally got a lady fair!


    Yuu who was smitten, the day she was bitten!


    Take a good look, she’s starting to fall.


    Well, if not, she can run but she won’t get far,


    So if you don’t manage to ruin it all,


    Maybe you won’t die alone!


    Hey she’s got options, but what about you?


    Calm down your face, have you got the flu?


    Congratulations, you’re not going to end up with 47 cats after all.


    Make your move, she’s starting to fall.


    Bring your sweet cheeks down where it’s wetter,


    Honestly, do you think you can do better?


    At that moment, Yuu had evidently reached her threshold of tolerance for this sort of situation, and burst into laughter. Marvelous.


    “That was—that was really stirring stuff, Floyd,” she gasped out, actual tears forming in her eyes. Then, she stage whispered to himself: “Azul, is this the twins’ idea of a joke?"


    Azul’s smile was tight,a mixture of resignation and begrudging amusement.


    "Oh, it’s certainly a joke.”


    “So mean! Don’t listen to him, Yuu. This is romance at its finest!” crowed Floyd, giving them a small bow.


    Yuu snorted. “Very romantic. Top marks.”


    Azul felt his expression flicker.


    "No, no, this is simply... a business dinner. Nothing more, nothing less."


    Yuu’s eyebrow quirked, but before she could retort, Jade uncovered the tray of appetizers in front of them.


    Azul''s eyes flicked nervously to the side. "This is, of course, just a reminder of how well Jade knows his clientele. Nothing more." He reached for a bite, trying to maintain his composure, but his hand froze just before his mouth.


    “There’s nothing… in these, is there, boys?”


    “Straight and honest peppers,” Jade said with an unconvincingly innocent smile.


    “Mushroom-free,” clarified Floyd.


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Azul’s eyes narrowed.


    “For once, that’s not what I was worried about.”


    “It’s fine, it’s fine,” Jade attuned, snickering from the corner.


    "...I am going to have a stroke,” Azul groaned from between his fingers.


    Floyd was delighted. "That’s the spirit, Boss!"


    “Come now, Floyd!” Jade announced dramatically. “It’s time to leave these two ALONE.”


    "Awww, but I wanna see how the date goes~” Floyd whined, but not persuasively enough to prevent Jade from physically dragging him from the room.


    The door slammed behind them, leaving Azul and Yuu in room with suspicious food, the remnants of music still playing, and at least a hundred lit candles.


    Azul could feel Yuu’s eyes on him, in her seat next to his at the table, and wondered, not for the last time, if things could possible get worse.


    “Keep glaring at the table. If you do it long enough, it might start paying you rent.”


    Azul huffed an anxious cough.


    “Breathe, Azul, it could have been worse,” Yuu soothed.


    “Could it? I shudder to wonder—”


    Apparently, Yuu was far more calm than he.


    “Instead of Floyd and Jade, it could have been Ace, Deuce, and Grim. Have you ever heard them sing? It’s enough to want to remove your eardrums with a blunt stick.”


    “I believe I’ve already experienced that tonight, so…. I ask again. Are you sure?”


    He chanced a look at her, and found her smiling thoughtfully, but not anxiously.


    Unexpected.


    “You could always come for dinner at my place, and we’ll test it out,” she offered.


    Ah, so the horrors could continue.


    “No, no… I think I’ll pass on that invitation,” he declined quickly.


    Completely unoffended, Yuu merely shrugged.


    “It’s just as well. They can’t cook either—unless you count canned tuna.”


    “I do not.”


    She snickered. “Neither do I. They’ve come up with some truly inedible substances with the ingredients I’ve bought them. Biggest waste of money. They put a whole new meaning on ‘burn an allowance.’”


    “So what you’re saying is that Floyd and Jade… come out on top. Despite all of this.” He gestured to the general everything.


    She nodded. “They’re winning if we count the food alone—whoa—”


    She uncovered the dish with their plates. It wasn’t anything that the lounge didn’t usually serve. Salmon filets with lemon. Kale salad with buttered greens. A miniscule side of limoncello sauce.


    “Is—is something wrong?” Azul asked, suddenly nervous for an entirely different reason.


    “Tell me something, Azul,” Yuu shot him a playful grin.


    Unexpected.


    “Mm?”


    “I…wouldn’t happen to be footing the bill for this venture? Because if I am, it’s definitely an excellent choice of bait.”


    “I’m glad you approve of the selection,” Azul said tightly. “But contrary to rumors, I do actually have the ability to treat guests well. And you are my guest.”


    Her face fell.


    “I was only teasing. Sorry. After today… my goodness, I’ve never seen so many people be so… so rude.”


    “It’s nothing new,” he brushed off. “I do work in food service.”


    “Eurgh. Yes, you do. That would give anyone thicker skin. Or a mental breakdown.”


    “Both. You have met the twins?”


    “Now the song makes sense,” she snorted.


    “Quite.”


    They ate in companionable—if not stiff—silence for the most part, although his own stomach was churning from the presentation, Yuu was entirely unfazed. She was always unfazed.


    “Yuu…” he found himself saying. “Does nothing ever upset you?”


    She blinked up at him from a nearly-finished plate.


    “You’ve seen me upset plenty.”


    “Have I?”


    “You don’t remember?”


    But the truth was, he didn’t. Overblots, catastrophes, potential insanity and death, and Yuu faced them all with the same unbreakable optimism with which she’d dealt with the twins.


    “No…” he said at last. “No, I don’t.”


    “And these last three days don’t count?” she asked, still staring.


    “Were you upset?”


    “Well… it did help that you were with me. But before I knew what was going on, yes. I was fairly angry.”


    “Hm,” he said, searching her face. He had the feeling that she’d just admitted something deeply personal, and yet, something that he already should have known.


    “I’m almost afraid to ask,” Yuu ventured after a pause that lasted too long, “but where exactly am I staying tonight? I have a feeling Floyd’s going to try to drag me somewhere.”


    “He won’t,” Azul said, too quickly. “That is to say—you’ll have one of the empty dorm rooms. I keep track of all of our lodging here, and there are plenty of open beds.”


    Yuu was visibly relieved.


    “Thank you. I have a feeling that if I wasn’t put somewhere by you, I’d end up as a chew toy for Floyd some time in the night.”


    “Not while I’m housewarden,” Azul promised.


    He only just kept himself from jumping when she reached out and squeezed his fingers.


    “I believe it.”


    It was with that that dinner ended—that small display of trust. Had Yuu been anyone else, Azul would have delegated her lodging situation to almost anyone else in the dorm. As things stood, Yuu had been right—Jade and Floyd would most certainly have tried to influence her sleeping situation. So, he walked her to an empty room personally, and made sure everything was there—and nothing was cursed, enchanted, or worse—pheromoned.


    Satisfied, he renewed the venom extraction uninterrupted—for once—and left for the safety of his own office, which was his final mistake of the day.


    The moment he was content in his chair, ready to finish the final papers of the day, Jade and Floyd pounced.


    “So…..” Jade smarmed, sailing into the room as though this were his office, and not Azul’s.


    “Sooooo,” echoed Floyd.


    “No,” Azul said curtly.


    “You do realize that everything tonight was a test, yes?" said Jade.


    Azul looked up warily. "...A test."


    Floyd plopped himself on the leather sofa across from the desk.


    "Yup! And you FAILED~"


    "I— what?!"


    Jade draped himself dramatically across the settee across from Floyd, looking wounded.


    "We made the setting perfectly romantic, and what did you do? Flail. Panic. Nearly combust."


    "You could’ve used all that ambiance to make a move! But nooo, you just turned into a sad little squid and suffered~."


    "I was sabotaged, if you recall—"


    "Mmm. Were you? Or did you simply prove how terribly in love you are?"


    Azul glared, stilling in his seat.


    Floyd grinned, snapping his fingers in the air. "He’s got it baaaaaaad~”


    Jade nodded sagely. "Desperately."


    "Tragically~"


    "Unrecoverably."


    "Soooo, Azul~. When are you gonna admit you''re totally in love with Yuu? And it’s been coming on for… man, it’s been a while, Jadie!"


    "I know this is a vain wish, especially considering how tonight went, but I’d appreciate it if the both of you wouldn’t be so ridiculous,” Azul said stiffly.


    "Oh, I don''t believe we are, Azul,” said Jade.


    "You’ve been all grumpy and mopey every time she leaves. You like having her around~"


    "I am merely... accustomed to the schedule.” Azul winced. Even he could hear the lie. Yuu had been nothing but a catastrophe to ‘the schedule’ from day one.


    "Mmm. And yet, you seemed quite disappointed when she left just now."


    "You even leaned forward a little, like you wanted her to stay…"


    "I—" Azul paused, suddenly realizing he did do that, but not for the reasons they were saying…right?


    "Face it, Azul. You’ve already lost,” Jade sighed.


    "Yup! Now you just gotta reel her in!" Floyd sang gratingly.


    "You can pretend all you like, but even you know you’ll regret it if you let her leave for good."


    "I... I need to think.”


    "Better think fast, Boss! Before someone else snatches her up,” Floyd gestured downward in a motion that meant to say ‘like me, for example.’


    “If you both recall, she is in a tricky position right now, but, come morning, that little situation will have been rectified, and she will be free to go her merry way,” said Azul.


    “So just message her later, Boss. What’s the big deal?”


    Azul sighed, his face falling into his hands. He hated to say this aloud, but not saying it didn’t make it any less true.


    “That’s not what I mean, Floyd. My mother has provided Yuu with a way to go back to her world. We all know she shouldn’t have been able to come here in the first place, and once she goes, she won’t be able to return. Then, I—that is to say, none of us will ever see her again, and don’t you dare try to stop her. This is her choice. Her world. Her family.”


    Jade and Floyd stared at him in stunned silence.


    “Have you told her that you want her to stay?” Jade asked quietly, just when it seemed like the silence was going to be enough to crush the three of them with its pressure.


    Azul groaned. “I’m not that selfish, Jade. She needs to go.”


    “What if she wants to stay? It’s not like she can’t just say no! But this isn''t’ fair, Azul. She doesn’t have all the information,” Floyd whined.


    “Which would accomplish what, Floyd? Make it harder for her to go? She doesn’t belong here any more than fish belong out of water!”


    Floyd huffed dismissively. “We are fish out of water, and we’re doing fine.”


    Azul stood, too agitated to stay in his seat.


    “Perhaps that was a flawed analogy….the point remains that she is a magicless human. She does not, and will never belong.”


    Jade hummed, tapping a cheek with his free hand. “That’s not what the rest of campus is saying. Do you think you’ll be the only one sad to see her go?”


    Azul spluttered. “I—that’s not—that shouldn’t matter. It’s her choice, FLoyd. Jade. Please don’t make this any harder for her than I’m sure it will be.”


    “I’ll be a salmon up a damn…” Jade whistled. “You do care.”


    “Of course I care!” Azul snapped irritably, slamming his gloves onto the desk in front of him. “But I also have other things to care about, Jade. For example, why is there an invoice on my desk for an order of 5,000 thaumarks in mushroom harvesting equipment. And Floyd. We don’t serve alcohol in the lounge. Why do I see seven crates of tequila in the order slips!?”


    Both twins’ faces immediately went blank.


    “Slip of the hand?”


    “Clerical error?”


    “Who can say?” they said in unison.


    Azul groaned, waving the papers for good measure. “I’m going to bed, and if either of you wakes me before the next three hours are up, I will take these invoices, and burn them.


    He moved with his usual efficiency, but not quickly enough to avoid hearing the twins’ voices drifting after him down the hallway.


    "Well. I do believe we’ve done a good deed today, Floyd."


    "Yeah! We totally helped him fall in love!"


    “Hm… he really is, isn’t he?”


    Azul was absolutely going to burn those invoices.