At least it seems that way, but I knew better.


    ''The moment I grab the spear, I''ll start the apotheosis.''


    I opened my eyes and looked at the empty space.


    ''The priests, bishops, and nuns will know that a new god ''''has been born,'''' and they will come after me, be it to ask for blessings, seek protection, political interests, or even to straight up worship me.''


    ''Since I''ll be the first and only human god to appear in seven thousand years, Lomogre''s empire will also try to get me… Try to turn me into a puppet.''


    ''The moment I complete my apotheosis, I''ll also establish a sacred land that will provide a variety of different buffs and effects for all the people living there, as long as I''m alive, that is.''


    ''Although I don''t remember what the buffs of the Sky god build are…but they must be quite good since it never dropped from the top ten builds in the temple rankings.''


    ''As for the blessings, I''ll be able to share part of my power with my most devoted priests, bishops, or nuns. The costs are a reduction of my overall divine power for a period of time for each blessed subject.''


    ''For the humans, that''s probably it.''


    ''As for the others, they will either try to kill me or test how far they can push me. Most of them are too afraid of having the status quo changed; for them, humans are at the bottom of the food chain; they are cheap, stupid, and weak slaves, disposable low lives… Well, they''re not too far from the truth.''


    ''With no god backing up a race, with no sacred land… it''s almost impossible for a species to thrive since these are the prerequisites to form an environment where natural-born demigods or even gods appear... So without a god providing buffs and blessings, the species will be doomed.''


    ''The problem starts when a species like the humans obtains a god… Even with all the setbacks, even becoming a slave in most territories of the world, humanity still managed to form empires, kingdoms, and even something more impressive than that; humanity managed to survive and reproduce in all continents throughout Tardia. That may not seem like a big deal, but that''s something that even the mighty Dragons, for example, can''t do.''


    ''They''ll definitely try to get rid of me. Well… they can try.''


    Putting my hands forward, I made a grabbing forward gesture, and sure enough, I felt it. The body of the spear.


    It slowly started to appear in my hands from thin air.


    The spear is approximately 8.5 ft in length, from which 18 inches is the wide, narrow, thin, and angular leaf-shaped lightning spearhead. The spearhead represented the power of lightning and changed color depending on how much power was being used… At the moment, it was completely black.


    The shaft of the spear was crafted from the petrified spine of the primordial god of heaven, unyielding yet slightly flexible, absorbing and channeling energy like a living conductor. Silver veins spiral down the spear body, enchanted to glow in sync with the spearhead’s color, acting like "veins" of electricity, pulsating faster as the weapon’s power increases.


    At the very end of the spear, there was a cudgel carved with stormcloud patterns; the cudgel represented the power of thunder; it could unleash shockwaves to cause blunt and a bit of blast damage. It''s quite good against weak enemies, but it is really bad compared to the spearhead, so at first glance, there was no actual reason to use it.


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    ''I can do this… I''ve been through worse… I just need to assimilate it…''


    *Deep breath


    I moved my right hand into my mouth; I bit my thumb until it bled, and then I proceeded to touch the spear shaft with it.


    -CRACK, CRACK, CRACK…-


    The air around me started to crack; all the hair on my body stood on end. The veins of lightning that spiraled along the spear''s body started to get darker and darker, and a few seconds later my entire body started to appear like an X-ray image.


    I could see my bones, organs, and veins with my naked eye as if my skin had disappeared. I could even see the faint outline of my beating heart.


    ''WOW, this is even more impressive in pers-.''


    *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH


    Pain, incredible pain. It came out of nowhere and shot through my entire body. It felt like a needle was introduced into one of my main arteries and circulated through my entire body before disappearing, and then all of my muscles had a rapid involuntary spasm. I couldn''t move, couldn''t think, could only feel the overwhelming agony pulsating through me.


    *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH


    This went on for minutes, coming and going like waves, unpredictable when it would stop or start again.


    ''''Fucking hell''''


    ''Is it over?''


    I looked at the spearhead.


    ''''FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-''''


    ''''ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? THIS IS STILL BLACK?!?!?''''


    I screamed in frustration, feeling the panic rising.


    ''?! What is this now?''


    I felt a tingling sensation in my hands; it started very faint, and then it grew stronger and stronger until I felt like I was under a shower, bathing, but, instead of water, it was tiny needles pricking my skin. At first, it was just weird, but as time passed, it became painful, very painful. But this was still mild for what was about to come.


    Along with the needle bath, I felt my body suddenly starting to radiate heat, and just like the tingling sensation, it started to escalate. It became so unbearable that it made me feel like I was being burned alive.


    *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHH!


    …


    At some point, I didn''t know if I was screaming or not anymore.


    ''That''s so stupid; why did I even try to do this in the first place? Shit, I should have given up this stupid weapon the moment I realized this was getting too real. I could have gone for another weapon… one that does not imply fusing my body and soul with.''


    ''NO!!! Could I even survive long enough to get another weapon? I need to get a grip on myself.''


    *huff, huff, huff


    ''Finally, it''s over.''


    I thought as I looked up at the searhead.


    BLACK


    BLAC-


    BL-


    B


    ''DAMN IT!''


    What I saw next made me want to cry. The spearhead slowly started to shift to purple.


    ''''ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!!!! THIS WAS ALL JUST BLACK!!!!!!''''


    I screamed at the top of my lungs; honestly, I wanted to cry.


    ''''Alright, MEN UP!!! just purple, white, and blue to go… FUCK!!!!''''


    Although I screamed and tried to get my morale up, my body wasn''t very convinced, and I tried to let go of the spear. But it was of no use; the spear was making the muscles in my forearm contract as I had never experienced before. It was so strong, in fact, that it felt almost like I was suffering from a severe cramp.


    ''''!''''


    ''''NO, NO, NO, NO… CHILL OUT FUCKER!!! GIVE ME AT LEAST A GODDAMN MINUTE TO RECUPERATE!!!!''''


    I scream looking at the spear. It is now purple.


    I felt all my hair getting up, followed by my entire body getting frozen in place. Next, a blinding light came alongside a deafening sound.


    -Clap- BOOOOOOOOOOOOM-


    The heat was so strong that it made the previous step look like a comfortable bath in a hot tub or a relaxing time in a sauna full of essences.


    My entire body went dry at once; my tongue felt like sandpaper inside my mouth, my eyes went completely red, and blinking felt like I was scraping it with a razor blade. I could see every fiber or muscle beneath my skin; it was highlighted similar to how a professional bodybuilder looks before putting in the paint and getting on stage.


    The sensation was so overwhelming that I couldn''t even scream. My mind went blank for a few minutes. In fact, I couldn''t even breathe.


    Well, lucky for me, I didn''t need to put in the effort since a few long seconds later, my entire body started to spasm, obligating my diaphragm to pull and push air.


    *huuuuuuuuuuu, hhhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhh…


    Even with the violent muscle contractions, I didn''t feel pain, only the horrifying heat consuming my body.


    When I finally regained some semblance of consciousness, I tried to let go of the spear, but what I saw when I let go made me scream in fear.


    ''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…''''


    The spear''s body looked like it was ''melting''; it was glued to the palm of my right hand like a spider web, and the veins of the spear were connecting with the veins on my right arm, fusing, entering inside my body.


    A single thought crosses my mind before going blank again.


    ''There''s no going back.''


    I didn''t notice when the spear started to shift colors again, but…


    -crack,crack,crack,-


    -BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!-


    At this point, I didn''t care anymore. I didn''t even know if I was screaming or not from pain. I lost my sense of self for a while.


    By the time the color changed to blue, I wasn''t even capable of noticing that the spear was no more; I stood still holding empty air, completely naked since my clothes burned into ashes. My entire nervous system, including my brain, was visible to the naked eye, glowing white, and slowly changing to blue.


    As soon as it turned blue, I felt an electric shock-like sensation along nerve paths, and a stab of pain went into the jaw, cheek, and eye. The eye was especially bad; it was like a hot poker being driven into the eyes.


    AND THIS TIME IT REMAINED LIKE THAT FOR HOURS.