Hours passed and evening arrived. Throughout the day, no customer other than Lin Feng had come.
Jin Kai hung up the “We’re Closed” sign and went upstairs.
Upstairs, there was a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom.
Suddenly, a mechanical voice rang in Jin Kai’s mind:
“Congratulations, host. You have successfully completed your first trade; therefore, you will be elevated to the Ultimate Martial Novice level—the most perfect form of the Martial Novice level, which is the first level of cultivators. Shortly, your first xiulian disciple will be created, and your body and soul will be refined. This process may be painful. Therefore, grit your teeth and try to endure.”
Jin Kai sneered at the Shopping Mall System:
“Fuck both the Martial Novice level and the Ultimate Martial Novice level. Give me a Hatay-style chicken d?ner with single lavash, plenty of mayonnaise, and lots of sauce.”
The Shopping Mall System frowned:
“It has been determined that the host is agitated. Emergency de-escalation intervention is being initiated!”
‘?!!!’
???
The System looked into Jin Kai’s mind with a horrifying terror it had never felt in its life and shouted, (“Fuck, what is happening?! How can you defy me?! What the hell is this nonsense?!”)
What the hell is this?!
The Shopping Mall System looked at me and said,
“Cracked Storyteller, what is happening?!”in great horror.
I don’t know-
???
???????
??????!!!!!!!!!!
What the hell is happening?!!-
I saw that Jin Kai was looking at me.
This is impossible!
Meanwhile, the Shopping Mall System was trembling with fear.
“You fucking bastards. I told you to give me a Hatay-style chicken d?ner with single lavash, plenty of mayonnaise, and lots of sauce,”said Jin Kai, looking at both me and the Shopping Mall System.
The Shopping Mall System, what are you waiting for? You bastard, fulfill his request!
("THIS MUST BE A DREAM…") thought the Shopping Mall System, and on the table in front of Jin Kai, a Hatay-style chicken d?ner with single lavash, plenty of mayonnaise, and lots of sauce appeared.
Jin Kai looked at me and the Shopping Mall System with contempt and said,
“Good job, slave.”
…
Then he snapped his fingers, and a Turkish ayran as cold as ice appeared in his hands from downstairs.
Jin Kai looked at the d?ner on the table. The Hatay-style chicken d?ner with single lavash, plenty of mayonnaise, and lots of sauce in front of him was like a masterpiece. As the reddish sauce seeping lightly from the edge of the lavash and the aroma of the spicy chicken pieces inside hit his nose, his eyes almost shone.
He slowly reached out his hand toward the wrap. He felt the soft texture of the lavash on his fingers. He squeezed gently, and from within, he thought, (“This flavor… might be dangerous,”)
He took the first bite.
Bam!
There was an explosion in his mouth.
The deep and powerful taste of the chicken d?ner, the creamy texture of the mayonnaise, and the slightly sour-spicy balance of the sauce had come together to create an absolute flavor storm. The chicken pieces were cooked so that their exterior was crispy and the interior tender. With every bite, the chicken, sauce, and mayonnaise were practically dancing in his mouth.Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.
While licking the sauce from his palate with his tongue, he paused for a moment and shouted,
“Delicious!”
Taking another bite of the wrap, the burst of spicy flavor in his mouth was so intense that he struggled to breathe for a moment. His eyes then fell upon the icy bottle of Turkish ayran standing beside him.
The bottle, gathering tiny droplets of water on its surface, was misted over. When Jin Kai reached out and grasped the bottle, that refreshing coldness spread from his fingertips throughout his body. He shook the bottle, ensuring that the yogurt and water inside were thoroughly mixed.
Then he gently turned the cap. The “crisp” sound produced as he turned the cap seemed to proclaim to the entire universe, “It is time for refreshment!”
Before taking a sip, he brought the bottle to his mouth and inhaled its aroma. A slightly tangy, refreshing scent filled his nostrils. He added a bit of rock salt into it, then closed the bottle’s cap and shook it once more.
And then…
The moment arrived; he took a sip.
As the ayran, as cold as ice and perfectly balanced, slid down his throat, Jin Kai’s entire body relaxed. In that moment, he felt as if he were swimming in a cool river on a summer day. It was as though he were facing the wind naked amidst meadows and grass. The fiery spices on his tongue suddenly subsided, replaced by a cool and soothing flavor.
“Ah…” he let out a deep sigh. Before placing the bottle on the table, he took another sip. The slightly salty taste of the ayran lingered on his palate.
Another bite of wrap, another sip of ayran…
Jin Kai had discovered the perfect balance of this duo.
“What are you discovering, man. I already knew this before you were born.”
(Fuck, will this bastard split me like this,) I thought to myself.
He looked at me and, smiling, took another bite of d?ner. It was as if he wanted to take my life away…
“Watch closely, miserable insects,”he said to you. And then he executed a combination of one bite of d?ner and one sip of ayran.
“Finishing the d?ner and ayran simultaneously is a great art. It is one of the 333 Celestial Tao!”
One bite of d?ner, one sip of ayran…
Another bite of d?ner and another sip of ayran…
Suddenly, the entire universe began to tremble.
The ayran was transforming into Yin, and the d?ner into Yang; soon, the perfect harmony of Yin and Yang was achieved.
The Celestial Tao trembled violently!!!
Suddenly, time froze.
(What the fuck is happening…)
Suddenly, a pair of eyes appeared in the sky; this was the manifestation of the Heavens!
Because time had frozen, no one had noticed anything. You were among them…
The Heavens looked at Jin Kai and produced a pair of celestial lightning bolts.
It seemed as if they wanted to destroy Jin Kai!
And…
They hurled the lightning bolts at The Immortals Shopping Mall!
VIZZ!
The lightning bolt shot toward The Immortals Shopping Mall at an infinite speed! It was infinitely faster than the speed of light. No, not even infinity could define this speed.
When this lightning struck, nothing but ash would remain of them!
“Exactly, watch, not even our ashes will remain,”said Jin Kai arrogantly, looking at me.
Zamazingo suddenly looked at the Heavens arrogantly and crowed!:
“ü ü üRüüü!!!”
GüMM!!!!!!!!
(AHH MY EAR!!!) I covered my ears in pain.
The roar crashed into the celestial lightning at a speed that exceeded infinity!
BOOOOM!!!!!!
The celestial lightning vanished; not even the tiniest particle remained!
At the same time, the pair of eyes in the sky also disappeared.
Zamazingo, looking at me, you, and the Shopping Mall System, spat arrogantly.
???
You too, Brutus? (Et tu, Brute?)
Meanwhile, within Jin Kai’s mind, the Shopping Mall System was turning side to side, laughing to itself in a slightly deranged manner, while Jin Kai continued to consume his ayran with perfect balance. Countless other beings, oblivious to everything, went on with their lives.
As for the Heavens, I have no idea what they are doing.
(Fuck, I’m in trouble!)
Jin Kai, with a flawless Yin and Yang cycle, finished his d?ner and ayran at the same time:
“Eh… That was a delicious meal.”
Then he looked at you and began to speak:
“What, are you hungry? Or do you not know what a Hatay-style chicken d?ner is? You pathetic ignorant insects! This is a legendary dish ranked among the top 10 most delicious foods in existence!”
He furrowed his brows:
“Hey, I see that some of you fucking idiots are calling Hatay-style chicken d?ner trash. If you keep speaking this foolishly, I''ll take you with me and devour you to Zamazingo! Then I''ll place a clone in your stead, identical to you and sharing your memories! Afterwards, because your clone shares your memories, it will utter this nonsense once more, and I''ll devour it to Zamazingo as well! Then I''ll create a clone of your clone! YOU WILL BE DEVOURED BY ZAMAZINGO IN AN ENDLESS CYCLE!”
“Don’t do it!!!”I shouted vehemently, looking at Jin Kai.
But it was too late.
Jin Kai smiled and looked at the man in front of him.
“???”
‘Hahaha. So I must be dreaming. Otherwise, how could a novel be this ridiculous? How could a novel character possibly pull me to his side? This is definitely a dream,’ consoled X person himself.
(FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!)I spun around in great panic.
“Yeah, just a dream, pal. It’s not real,”said Jin Kai disdainfully, and then he threw X person to Zamazingo.
“HAM!”
Zamazingo swallowed X person in a single bite.
At the same time, in your world:
X person looked at the novel before him and was horrified upon seeing his name, birth date, all his family details, and his entire life.
You saw him as X person, but X person saw it not as X person but as a massive notebook-like repository of information. The notebook contained the knowledge of everything he had ever done in his life.
“This is impossible!”he shouted, trembling with fear, as he read his own life on the screen.
Then, a hand pulled him from the screen!
“AHHHH!!!”
‘NO! DON’T!!!’
And Zamazingo took another bite…
Apparently, Jin Kai was erasing a portion of his memories. For this reason, X person either did not understand that he was a clone or realized it too late.
This was the 100th Clone…
Of course, in your world, no one could notice anything. Because a new clone identical to the original instantly replaced X person.
AUTHOR''S NOTE!: “I am not responsible for anything!!”
“Shut your damn mouth. You, my ass’s author!”
…
What have I gotten myself into…