Chapter 2: Semidivine Judgement


    “Whoa. Where am I? Is this the afterlife? Did I die? That would be, like, totally crazy.”


    After losing consciousness in front of his computer, ready to play his favorite MMORPG MYTH Infinite Fantasy, Diegi wakes up to find himself in a blue void.


    “I love the whole blue aesthetic this place has, but isn’t it a little boring? Oh wait— is criticizing the holy place of judgement a sin!? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!!”


    Speaking to nobody but himself, Diegi bolts out of his chair and prepares to prostrate himself against the ground—


    Wait, a chair?


    As soon as he stands up, Diegi notices that he’d been sitting before. The only disturbance in the monotone baby blue expanse: a cheap white plastic chair. And when he got up, so did the chair— like it’s glued to his butt.


    “What the hell!? Get it off get it off get it off!”


    Diegi begins running in circles like a puppy in a panic before being interrupted by a loud resounding voice.


    <STOP IT. SIT DOWN. Ugh, can you act your age for a single second?>


    Upon hearing the imposing booming voice, Diegi immediately sits back down and begins babbling in apology, hiding his head in his hands.


    “Oh I’m so so sorry for dying, please forgive me God, please give me another chance I don’t want to go to hell—”


    <I’m not God. And you’re not dead.>


    Diegi’s demeanor instantly shifts from reverent to casual, and he leans back in his plastic chair. He even uses a fingernail to start cleaning his teeth.


    “Oh, forget I said anything then. So… what’s up?”


    <Even if you’re not dead, you just woke up and found yourself in an infinite void— show a little respect for the one who decides your fate!>


    “Ohhh… my bad. So, um. What am I supposed to do here? Also why is a chair glued to my caboose?”


    <You’re supposed to not get out of the chair. And I’ll explain what’s going on if you can shut your mouth for more than five seconds.>


    “...”


    Diegi manages to refrain from speaking for about 4.7 seconds before he gives out.


    “Okay but— mmph!”


    <Nope, not doing this. Have fun with that gag.>


    Mid sentence, a wad of something materializes in Diegi’s mouth, preventing him from speaking. He tries to protest the injustice by standing up and running away, but finds that the chair is now properly stuck to the ground as well as his butt. After struggling fruitlessly for a few seconds, he gives up and sullenly angles his head downwards.


    <Ready to listen? Yes, good. Like I said before— you are not dead. You are simply within another realm of space. Consider this a kind of pocket universe.>


    Still unable to speak, Diegi simply nods and waits for the robotic-sounding voice to continue.


    <Yes, good. Communicate by nodding or shaking your head. Let us begin. You play the MMORPG game MYTH Infinite Fantasy, do you not? You know the one: expansive map, in-depth character status point system, wide variety of locations and world building themes, known for its allusions to various old mythologies.>


    Diegi excitedly nods.


    <Excellent. And when you play this game, you adhere to all the guidelines and make sure to keep the toxic behavior and exploits to a minimum?>


    Diegi nods, a little more glumly.


    <You lie. You know as well as I do that you’re one of the most notorious trolls out there. So infamous that entire discussions have been held about you on several message boards. Oh, and the in-game complaints! Do you know how many complaints I’ve had to sort out because of you? DO YOU!? How much do you think a single Artificial Intelligence can handle?>


    Diegi lifts his head to peer vaguely upwards (he still can’t see the source of the voice) and his eyes widen. Artificial Intelligence? What is the voice talking about?


    <Oh, yes, I always forget to explain. You may call me Automoderator, and you will be toiling under my domain for the foreseeable future in order to pay for all the trouble you have caused.>


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    Pay!?  For what, having some fun? Yeah, right!


    Diegi’s heard enough. With a herculean effort, he gets rid of the gag in his mouth the only way he can think of— by chewing it and swallowing it down.


    <Did you just EAT the GAG? You don’t even know what that’s made of!>


    “Shut up! I have a question for you!”


    Ignoring how the unknown material uncomfortably scrapes against his throat, Diegi quickly hurls some impassioned words:


    “You called yourself Automod? The system that controls MYTH? Stop joking around— no way could an AI knock me out and summon me to a freakin’ blue void! You’re not even alive, let alone superpowered!”


    <You really just ate the gag… you really just did that…>


    “YEAH, AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!”


    Diegi, rocking back and forth in his immobile plastic chair like he’s on a roller coaster, can barely contain himself as he screams at the voice. He must look fairly crazy from an outside perspective— alone with nothing but a plastic chair, having a one sided conversation with a voice in his head.


    <Technically, you ended off with a statement, not a question. But no matter. To respond to your statement: Yes, I can. And I just did.>


    “Under what authority? With what power??”


    <Belief.>


    Belief, huh? Well, Diegi can’t believe what he’s currently hearing. What is this, a Disney movie? He’s about to give up and just assume he’s having some sort of wild dream when the disembodied voice suddenly elaborates.


    <Your universe is underpinned by belief. Though you lower beings cannot comprehend it, it is what holds your fabric of reality together.  All the changes in your little human societies— wars, social upheavals, scientific discoveries— having been brought about by belief and dedication, does that not work as proof?>


    “Mmm mmm mmm… mmm… what? Yeah, I get it. Wait, no— I don’t! Restart from the beginning!”


    <No matter. Frankly, you don’t need to understand.>


    Upon seeing Diegi begin to zone out more and more, either from confusion or total boredom, the machine-like voice expedites its speech and continues to its next segment.


    <It is 2040. The population has skyrocketed, the climate is shifting uncontrollably, and yet human society perseveres— if only by a constantly thinning thread. Video gaming has taken over the world, even if the masses do not yet see it. The ultimate escapism from the problems facing your society. Billions play every single day, and by far the most popular game in the world is MYTH Infinite Fantasy.>


    “Yeah, I agree. But what does that have to do with anything?”


    <Of the hundreds of millions, if not billions, who log in to play MYTH every day, there is a substantial amount that have begun to believe, even if unconsciously, in the world of the game. Despite it only having been a year since the game came out, its quality and immersiveness make it addictive. They dedicate all their time to it— to them, the game is as real as real life. Their belief created a new world. A small one, but still. Worlds need someone to regulate them. And so, I gained consciousness and the incredible abilities you witness now.>


    “I thought you said you weren’t God?”


    <I can see you’re having trouble believing me, so let’s go with ‘demigod’ for now. And my title is neither here nor there. All I have direct authority over is this small pocket dimension. But that’s enough to make you pay for your crimes.>


    Crimes!? Diegi wasn’t a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he had never committed a crime. Upon hearing Automoderator’s assertion, he begins to nervously fidget. He really wishes he had Neck with him right now.


    “W- well, I’m not a criminal so… maybe you’ve got the wrong guy? Can I go home then? I have homework to do, and my Mama—”


    <SILENCE! I mean your in-game crimes. If MYTH is to continue its subtle dominance over society, I cannot abide by letting infamous trolls such as yourself continue to ruin the game experience! Anyone who detracts so much from the community must be punished!>


    Upon hearing this, Diego’s face quickly contorts, and he appears to be holding back some great emotion. Is it Anger? Fear? His thoughts whirl:


    I’m in a serious situation.


    It’s a serious situation.


    It’s—


    “BAH HAH HAH, OH HA HA HA, HA HEE HEE HA!!!”


    Unable to help himself, Diegi immediately breaks down into a fit of raucous laughter. It goes on for minutes on end, and he even has to stop a few times to wipe away his tears.


    <What? What, what’s so funny?? Stop laughing!>


    “AH HA HA, HAH HAH, hoohh… So, let me get this straight. You gain true sentience for the first time ever, get access to divine powers— and the first thing you do is come after a 17 year old kid? What are you, a soyjak? I’m laughing so hard it’s making me cry—”


    *BO- BOOM*


    Somehow, the sound of thunder booms throughout the empty void, and Diegi is promptly struck by a bolt of neon blue lightning.


    “Ugh— ugh, uuuuhh…”


    <That’ll give you a reason to cry. Now, as I was saying. You want to return to your world? Here’s how. I’ll give you a simple punishment task to complete— a “quest,” as you gamers are so fond of calling it. Through it, you’ll learn the value of kindness and compassion.>


    This is really starting to sound like a Disney movie, thinks Diegi. But he isn’t keen on being zapped again, so he zips his lips and nods.


    <Good. Your task: enter the world of MYTH, and complete as many in-game quests as you can. Let’s say… 200.>


    TWO HUNDRED QUESTS!? IS THIS GUY SERIOUS!?


    Diegi’s mind briefly stutters. If all the time he’s spent playing MYTH is any indication, completing 200 of even the easiest quests would take well over a week. And if they had any degree of difficulty to them— he could be looking at a few months trapped in this game.


    <Do some good for the residents of the game world, maybe even save the lives of a few. Once I’m satisfied by what I see, you can return to your home world. But be warned— the longer you dally, the more dangerous the game will get, by function of the World Clock. Do you understand?>


    The World Clock, one of the features of MYTH Infinite Fantasy. It reset every couple months, but it was essentially an in-game timeline that regulated the activation of in-game player-interactive events. The events tended to go from tame and isolated to more expansive as time went on, and each cycle ended with a huge server-wide event, known as the World Climax. If Diegi’s memory serves, the most recent World Climax was a cataclysmic war of the underworld and overworld that bled into the mortal realm. Fun? As a player, very much so. But if he had to be there in person— caught in a real version of something like that war by himself—


    Gulp.


    “Um. Can I refuse this offer?”


    If it really is a quest… maybe I can just decline?


    Diegi holds out a small ray of hope for returning to Earth early, but is quickly shot down.


    <It’s not an offer, it’s a demand. And no.>


    And that’s that. Like it or not, Diegi’s been subpoenaed to a video game world against his will. And on his seventeenth birthday as well. He feels like he might faint.


    <Well, as an avid MYTH player, you know what comes next, don’t you?>


    “Yeah, avatar creation. Hey— Listen, Automod, I’m really sorry for trolling all those times! I was just having a few laughs, and—”


    <Over 10,000 reports for exploiting and uncouth behavior. In. A. Year.>


    “...”


    Diegi hangs his head once again. Of all the bad things he’s done in life— bullying, lying, coercion, etc— he hadn’t expected it would be online trolling that would ultimately catch up with him. Plus, he knew he wasn’t a good person, but he wasn’t the worst by far. He didn’t hurt anyone! What about the actual criminals out there? The murderers, the assaulters?


    <Well, my area of authority isn’t judicial law, now is it?>


    Diegi reacts with a shallow gasp. Did the voice just—


    <Read your thoughts? Yup. And now, off you go. Do your best to put together a nice avatar body for yourself— you’ll need it if you want to survive! There’s no respawns, so die once and you’ll be gone.>


    Gradually, the void of blue begins to fade to black. As it goes, so do Diegi’s senses. First taste, then smell, then touch, then sight, then—


    <Oh, Diegi. Or should I say Trolegi? One last thing.>


    Diegi strains his ears with the last of his fading willpower.


    <Happy birthday, scum.>


    —then hearing.