随着“砰”的一声响，桌面上的显示器、相框、文件全都吓得跳了起来，笔架倒霉了，摔倒的时候，在他脚下一滑，摔了一个跟头，然后咕噜咕噜地滚到了桌子上，摔得粉身碎骨。
“钟离！”院长的怒吼声响彻整个办公室，如惊雷般，如狮吼般，额头上的青筋几乎随时都会爆裂。
“嗯，我来了。”那个叫钟离的年轻人站在办公桌对面，微微歪着头，用无辜的眼神看着院长，这眼神就像是一只不知所措的猫，要是换成别人，肯定会瞬间融化，可惜，对院长颜伟来说，根本没用。
原因很简单，颜薇和钟离的父亲曾经是很好的朋友，两家人关系也很亲近。为什么要用“曾经”这个词呢？因为钟离的父亲已经失踪十年了，虽然钟离的母亲坚持不相信，但是所有人都相信，钟离的父亲已经不在人世了，按照法律，是可以宣告死亡的。
在钟父失踪的那几年，颜伟对钟离一家人照顾的很周到，几乎把钟离当成自己的了。在他眼里，钟离就像一只看上去很乖巧但骨子里却很野性的猫。你看他的时候，他会很听话，你一转头，他就会伸出爪子捣乱。
这不，两个小时前，钟离又闯祸了。现在，我们就利用时间魔法，将一切倒转，回到两个小时前，看看钟离到底做了什么惹怒人的事。
学生公寓B座801室，钟离刚刚从楼上醒来，浑身肌肉僵硬的呻吟着，感觉自己就像是僵尸回归灵魂一般，脑袋昏沉沉的，难受极了。
就在这时，开门的声音响起，钟离如遭冷水一浸，瞬间清醒过来，冲到门口，率先打开了门。
门口站着一名身穿短袖牛仔裤，拖着行李箱的青年，明显被钟离的突然出现吓了一跳，连忙后退两步站定。
“你好，我……”本着室友之间以后要互相熟悉的正常心态，年轻人准备自我介绍，并说明来此的目的。可惜，他刚说话就被钟离打断了。
“You are not satisfied with your original apartment, or to put it another way, your roommate is very dissatisfied with you, because you always bring friends into the apartment to play cards or mahjong, and often play late, which seriously affects the normal rest of the roommate, and may even cause the roommate to lose something.For this reason, you should have quarreled a few times. In the end, he couldn''t bear to threaten to report you. You were afraid of being punished, so you offered to change your apartment and applied to the head of the department. It happened that I had a free room here, so you showed up with me.”
Zhong Li said something like a machine gun, quite fast, but the words were extremely clear, giving people a feeling that the words were like blades.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.The young man was completely said to be stupid, and his reaction speed could not keep up with Zhong Li''s speed of speech. He opened his mouth for a while before regaining his senses and exclaimed, "You investigate me!”
“Investigate you?I didn''t know that someone was moving in until the moment you opened the door. Where should I investigate you?"Zhong Li asked rhetorically.
“Then how do you know?"The young man blurted out, and only then did he react. Isn''t asking like this tantamount to admitting it?"
“The first is your teeth. Your teeth are relatively white, but they are not the kind of white that you have washed your teeth. So you don''t smoke, but you smell of smoke from head to toe, which means you stay in a closed and smoky environment for a long time or even all night.Where is this environment?It is obviously impossible for apartments because all apartments have smoke alarms.The most likely environment is the chess and card room, which happens to be opposite the West Gate.”
As he said, Zhong Li suddenly pointed to the pendant on the luggage cable: “Your pendant is two sieves. The front of your T-shirt is printed with square slices, plum blossoms, hearts and spades. Your eyes are bloodshot and your face is tired. , Coupled with the smell of smoke all over your body, it is enough to prove that you played in the chess and card room all night last night.”
“Internet cafes also smell very smoky. What makes you think I''m in the chess and card room instead of an Internet cafe?”The young man had a feeling of being seen through, and he was unwilling to make the final resistance.
“不可能。”钟离指着自己的胳膊说道，“如果你在网吧呆一个晚上，你的右尺骨干肯定会红的，所有长时间使用鼠标的人都会这样。”“可是你的右尺骨干没有红，如果我没猜错的话，你昨晚打扑克了。”
“你……”青年低头看着自己的胳膊，嘴里完全说不出话来，他简直不敢相信，才刚开门见面，对方就能把所有的秘密都告诉他，仿佛那双眼睛根本不是眼睛，而是锋利的手术刀。
“至于你们宿舍的情况，那就更好猜了。凡是好赌的人，都喜欢聚在一起，要么去别人家，要么来自己家，离开宿舍就等于把朋友带到自己宿舍。我们医学院的课程很紧张，白天几乎都满了，所以你的赌博时间都是晚饭后，而且你赌瘾很大，动不动就玩到很晚，严重影响了室友的休息。久而久之就爆发了，我实在受不了。”
“虽然我不知道你有没有赌博，但你的行为明显违反了规定，为了不让院长知道，你必然会选择妥协，主动去报到，同时你又担心新室友可能承受不住，所以决定在搬家前好好玩一玩，这也是你整晚泡在棋牌室的原因。”
再次化作机关枪，长谈一番后，钟离感觉有些缺氧，深吸一口气缓缓道：“现在你还想告诉我我猜错了？不能再说了是吧？抱歉我也不喜欢你这样的室友，而且我对烟味过敏，烟味会严重损害我敏锐的嗅觉，对我的嗅觉中枢造成不可挽回的伤害。所以为了你好，也为了我好，你最好从哪里来，就从哪里来。”
说完，钟离刚要关门，突然扭头挤出??一抹灿烂的笑容：“友情提示，一清小赌怡情伤身，还是赶紧戒赌，和室友复合吧。”
说完，房间的门就被猛地关上了，只剩下站在门外呆若木鸡的青年男子。
是在这边吗？当然不是。被说这话的人都会生气，而且越是事实，他越是会生气。年轻人愣了足足五分钟，终于爆发出愤怒。他砰的一声关上了门两下，然后隔着门大声喊道：“你真以为自己很优秀吗？你什么都不是！我记住你了！”
门后，钟离耸耸肩，自言自语道：“我当然很优秀，但我不是同性恋。”