Have you seen that movie where the guy is running, and then jumps and one second he’s a human, and the next second he’s like a giant wolf that tackles and attacks people?


    Yes, I know. The movies were terrible, but the scene was cool, and when I saw Kalamiti do exactly that to the gigantic Bear that we attacked, after clearing out two more swarms of swarm lizards and a pack of Utahraptors, I was impressed as hell. The Thunderbear was called that because he was the size of a house. Well, okay, a small cottage, but he was impressive as hell. Bears weren’t MEANT to be the size of elephants, and I’d already unleashed restoration on Maniri twice as the gigantic paws impacted and drove her back from the force on her shield.


    It had one eye. Okay, it had two eyes earlier, but I’d managed to shoot one of them out while it was stunning us with a roar louder than being caught inside the engine of a 747. we were pounding bullets into the back of its throat each time it tried to bite one of us with a maw as big as my entire body, and while we had done some damage, the thing seemed almost immune to the heavy caliber bullets both me and Wandi were pounding into it’s head, vitals, anyplace we could get a clear shot.


    “This is insane,” I muttered as I replaced my magazine, diving backward as another heavy paw swing shook through where both of us were trying to set up another shot, tearing up small bushes on the hillside as Takala sent another bolt of fire zinging into its neck.


    Wandi nodded, panting. Maniri was keeping its attention, but the wide swings of its gigantic paws kept trying to catch all of us, and I imagine that her size alone was making her less of a threat. Kalamiti was up on the back of its neck, worrying at it and trying to find a weak spot with her long, lean tiger body. Her tiger form was HUGE, a good twelve feet long with her tail, but against the Bear’s back, she looked like a kitten tackling a great Dane.


    “Someone dropped the ball.” she panted, “This thing is at least late copper, this dungeon’s supposed to be tin. Whoever has been on suppression had to have left it alone for a long time for it to grow this much.”


    “Can we take it?”


    “I don’t know, but I do know there’s no way we are getting away if we can’t.”


    I grumbled. “Maniri! Can you give me a boost?”


    “Huh?”


    I pointed with my rifle at the back of the bear as she was pushed back a few more feet by a heavy-handed paw sweep. “Get me on it’s back!”


    She crouched down, “Okay hero! I don’t know what you are doing, but do it fast!”


    I ran behind her, taking a few steps to build up momentum as I aimed for her back, and she watched me out of the corner of her eye as the heavy paw swept past her, dropping the shield for a moment as I stepped on it.


    Okay, yeah, I knew Maniri was strong. A lot stronger than Kalamiti, honestly, if not as fast, but when the shield lifted and I jumped, I was actually flying faster than I had expected. I would have LOVED to stay back and keep shooting, but the heavy caliber firearm just wasn’t able to punch through. I needed a boost, and I needed it bad, and the bonus from big game hunter just didn’t seem to add anything when I was at range.


    I almost overshot the bear’s neck, but Kalamiti lifted her great tiger head and head-butted me as I sailed past her, allowing me to drive the two-foot spike at the end of my rifle deeply into the bear’s neck.


    Bushwack activated! Big Game hunter activated! I could seed the excited-looking messages that appeared on my band despite being in a fight for my life.


    The blade dug down deeply into the bear’s neck, which caused it to roar in rage and pain, loud enough that I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear for hours at best, and the thick fur and skin parted, finally exposing the target Kalamiti was waiting for as the hind legs of the bear seemed to collapse and it started to spin with us on it’s back.


    She practically buried her front half into the wound on the back of the bear’s neck, roaring and ripping her way through its spine while it frantically tried to get its huge paws over us. One of them came crashing down on top of both of us, and I braced the rifle stock against its neck as a paw the size of a card table smashed directly onto the bayonet. With a crackle, the damned rifle broke, but not before leaving the paw half-shredded.


    That beautiful rifle. That work of art courting gift that the lovely Wandi got me, flinderized in only half a second. Alas poor carbine, for I knew you not well enough. I have caressed that trigger I know not how oft…


    Rust in Peace.


    The bear seemed to collapse as the tigress ripped giant pieces of flesh and bone out with her teeth and jaws, and the whole thing shuddered as it dropped several feet.


    “Shit,” I said, sighing as the paw dropped with several pieces of the rifle embedded in it. A moment later, Kalamiti was standing beside me in human form, naked save for a layer of gore and blood running from her head down to her hips.


    Without a word, she slid down the side of the thunder bear, glaring at Takala, who pulled a big piece of cloth out of her back to wrap around Kalamiti.


    I was… actually really very tired as I hopped off of the bear’s back. I sat down away from the spreading pool of blood and gore that was streaming off of the Thunder Bear’s punctured hide. I was not as badly messed as Kalamiti, but I still felt like I was covered head to foot in blood spray and crap from the thunder bear, as well as the goop from a lot of other monsters.


    “That bear is really, really big.” Maniri pointed out as she leaned against her almost shattered shield. “Do we use the compressor on it?”


    Wandi sighed. “I think we have to.” she glanced at me. “We can make enough profit off of it, and it broke down the chaos buildup, but it cost us. We are going to all need gear upgrades, did you break through?”


    Maniri nodded, “You are kidding right? Copper two.”


    “Copper one.” Kalamiti sighed, slowly wiping herself clean of the goop her upper torso had been coated with. I tried to muster interest at the occasional flashes of naked flesh that showed through, but I was too numb. So much for that endurance trait. All I wanted to do was fall asleep in a bathtub and check the notifications our marathon-like battle across the basin had given me, but I was putting it off since I didn’t want to dig through them.


    There were a lot. I also had a huge number of points right now, and I wanted to spend them on useful stuff ASAP. I was not like those Dungeons and Flagons players that compulsively hoarded every expendable they found ‘just in case’, I figured an ounce now when your life was on the line was worth a lot more than a pound later.


    “What are you talking about?” I asked, vaguely curious as long as it didn’t take any exercise.


    Takala smiled a little, “We have a compressor. We still need to drag the wagon back, but the compressor is an enchanted device that can store a single large object in a coil. This is a copper-ranked boss, and probably five thousand pounds of copper-ranked meat, a core, and its hide, bones, and claws. I’m betting we get a good fifty crowns from it, more if the core matches it.”


    Wandi nodded, “Yeah, but the compressor itself is a single shot that cost almost ten crowns. What we have on the cart is probably worth another hundred crowns, or more with the stuff that Tony gathered, but I have never seen the basin this close to an overload before.”


    “Profitable.” Maniri shrugged and stood up. “But yeah. It sucks to lose the compressor, but we can buy another one. I know we are all tired, but I’d rather take a bath and get this giant lump of meat out of here.” she tilted her head towards me. “And the bear’s corpse too.”


    I chuckled weakly. “I’ll show you a giant lump of meat.”


    “Promise?”


    I shook my head, “No. I am pretty sure I made tin, but I need time to talk to Jessie and find out what we got for this… fiasco.”


    Maniri nodded slowly, “Shame, but you are off the hook, pretty boy. I’m too tired, and we still have hauling to do.”


    I slowly collapsed upwards, until I was back on my feet. This level of exhaustion was rough, but I’d fought through worse. “Then let’s get started.” I glanced through the loaded cart until I found some banewort and mistybrook roses, and tugged them out. My survival was telling me that boiling them together would create a tea that would offer us an energy boost for about an hour, and I pulled out my adventurer’s pot. “Takala, can you give me a heat source?” The sweetbars were already running thin from where we’d eaten them an hour ago.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    Takala nodded and set up a small flame between her hands, while I added the herbs to my pot. “What is this?”


    I shrugged, “I am just running on instinct right now, but after those raptors cleared the brook, I got a boost to survival. Apparently, all the crap I collected and cooking lunch was enough to move both it and scrounging to apprentice, and right now it’s telling me that these herbs combine to make a decent energy enhancer.”


    “Drink a cup of this, avoid swallowing any of the solids,” I said, as we each took a good long swallow of the tea after it cooled a little. It tasted like crap, but after a few seconds, I felt like I’d just pounded two red bulls after a night of partying. Lots of energy, mixed with a bone-weary fatigue. I quickly tossed the remainders after we’d all had a good drink, and I noticed that Wandi had… somehow disappeared the corpse. The blood and goopy bits were still scattered around, but she was carrying a small chest, the size of a jewelry box, which she loaded onto the cart.


    “That’s probably the creepiest thing I have ever seen.”


    Wandi smiled, “It’s a bear in a box. Seriously, these are standard, usually in case… umm… something happens to one of us and we have to carry the body out, or we find a loot haul too heavy to carry out. The versions out here in the hinterlands are actually super cheap single-use, but if you don’t mind spending thousands of crowns, you can buy permanent storage rings. Not like I could afford one, but by the time we are iron-ranked we can probably get them.”


    “Thousands of crowns?”


    She nodded, “Yes. The higher rank you are, the higher ranked rifts and monsters you fight. At gold rank, a thousand crowns could be blown off just from refilling your special ammunition, or emergency potions. You are aware that even here, you could probably charge a hundred crowns easily just for a restoration, right? Healers are elites for a reason, and your restoration was at least journeyman while we were fighting the bear, I could feel it.”


    “Is that a big deal?”


    She nodded, “Yes, a very big deal. I think you got several of your traits boosted. If you got Journeyman restoration, that means you are definitely tin.”


    I nodded, “I probably am. Jessie has been flashing at me constantly with updates, but honestly, I don’t even want to go through them all. Hey Jessie, can you give me a highlight reel?”


    A highlight reel? How about greatest fails?


    Not now. Too tired. Seriously, can you just get rid of all of the notices and give me the highlights?


    Of course. You are now technically tin 3, but until you can choose a new update for your path, that advancement has been held in abeyance. Technically that means you are now a master of drudgery, but that’s kind of a low bar. You have a disgustingly huge number of unused enhancement points and a correspondingly large set of chimeric abilities to choose from.


    You got the overloaded achievement, for killing a copper-ranked enemy in a tin-tier rift and preventing an overload and possible wave. Your whole team got it, and it gives a nice, hefty willpower boost against fear caused by overpowered enemies in a rift. You also got the team player bonus, which allows your big game hunter trait to affect your whole team, which is how you guys killed that bear.


    You gained lots of affinity points, and several of your traits were improved, including a merged evolution from durability and endurance to toughness, a much more encompassing trait. You also improved your strength trait into apprentice might, but that’s to be expected when you tackle a rift significantly more powerful than you are and manage to not die.


    You now have nineteen free points without even advancing for your first three tin ranks, which, considering how many traits you have merged for absolutely free, means you can probably spend it all on genetic traits without hurting yourself. You are only a few steps away from turning yourself into Frankenstein’s unpopular cousin, Craigenstein.


    I suggest you look at your character sheet when you have a chance to rest, and we can decide what kind of cheat mode class you want to take for your tin cultivation ranks. Unless you decide to just keep blowing more ranks on Drudge? That would be 6 more points, and you have already gained the Drudge mastery gift, endless labor.


    What is endless labor?


    You sound like you are answering a Jeopardy question. Endless labor allows you to forgo sleep by spending essence points for up to a week. Afterwards, of course, you will sleep for two days solid. You are not the most ridiculously overpowered person for your rank running around, but you are definitely in the top ten for this area. Right alongside that ridiculous feline, Beli, but she had to spend stacks of gold and other resources to barely edge you out in ‘most stupid combined traits and early gifts’ for tin rank.


    I am tired of giving you a summary. Here’s your sheet. And you are welcome for the way I organized it for you.


    Anthony Michael Wilkins (Base Human)


    Classes: Drudge Mastery (0); Tier: tin(3);


    Essence Pool: 10(80); Energy Credits: 1297;


    Essence Recovery: 10; Free points: 19;


    Chimera (physical affinity): 12


    Melee training (Journeyman); Bushwack (amateur); Toughness; Improvised melee (novice); Pugilism (professional); Might (apprentice); Flexibility (journeyman);


    Imagination (mental affinity): 10


    Survival (apprentice); Perception (amateur); Empathy (apprentice); Jury Rig (novice);Core (novice); Scrounging (apprentice);


    Law (spiritual affinity): 7


    Apparition (apprentice); Firearms (apprentice); Restoration (journeyman); Cultivation (apprentice);


    Evolutions and Adaptations:


    Re-engineered; Big game hunter; Resist mutation; Scotsman; Overloaded; Endless labor; Team Player;


    Chimeric abilities:


    Default;


    Can you tell me what uhh.. genome quirks I have available from all that?


    Big Ears: Goblins can hear a flea fart from a hundred feet away in a wind tunnel. As a returner, you may alter your ears to resemble those of a goblin and gain enhanced hearing. (1 point)


    Shifter: Chimerae have the ability to assign their quirks either permanently, or temporarily as a shifted form. Shifter gives you one alternate form to which you can assign purchased quirks that can be activated temporarily by spending essence energy. Current Essence: 80 (Law spiritual affinity) (5 points)


    Gigantism: overgrown bears gain 50% additional mass. Your size and bulk will rise accordingly, increasing your natural durability and potential strength. This may be purchased multiple times to increase your size each time up to 800% and double your height. (3 points)


    Digitigrade: Your legs alter to become digitigrade. This will double your running speed and jumping height and distance. (4 points)


    Scales: You grow a layer of scales over your body like the dinos you were fighting. This will turn your defenses deflective, like hardened armor. Good luck getting a date unless you plan on making Maniri your main, and only, squeeze. (5 points)


    Claws: Your fingernails and toenails grow much longer and harden, becoming deadly natural weapons. As with scales, but this time Takala is the only one that will willingly sleep with you. (2 points)


    Scent tracking: Wolves and other canines have an extremely well-developed nose for keenly discerning scents. With scent tracking, you will grow a muzzle with enhanced nasal passages and reshaped sinuses that can allow you to take advantage of this gift. (3 points)


    Hidden gifts: You may purchase a genome quirk without the corresponding physical side effects save for those that are innate, such as improved size from gigantism. You must purchase this trait with each quirk. (5 points per hidden gift)


    “Is it good?” Wandi asked.


    I nodded and picked up one of the cart handles. “It was. Tin 3, but I apparently have a LOT of work to do to stabilize things and find a new class on my path.”


    She smiled slightly, “Let’s get out of here, and find a bath.”