As always, Crypto proceeded to methodically traumatize their new recruits.
She never meant to, of course. It was simply the obvious result of calmly explaining to three teenagers how history as they knew it had changed at least five times in the recent past, how reality was constantly besieged by cancerous pocket dimensions filled with monsters which they knew very little about, and how it was now their duty to either risk their lives on a daily basis stopping them or surviving the guilt that came with inaction. Amélia was crying halfway through the lecture, and Sasha spent her time staring into the milk glass that her b-friend so kindly gave her.
But Matthew had heard those explanations time and time again, so he instead moved to the piano and began to play the zaniest version of Hit The Road Jack he knew. Existential truths hit less hard when softened by jazz music.
“You know, Maruki, I keep forgetting you’re actually a pretty good pianist,” John said without an ounce of insincerity as he and Kari joined Matthew with a drink in each hand. “I guess even an idiot shines in the spotlight now and then.”
“Please, I’m the superstar and you’re the hanger-on,” Matthew boasted before groaning upon checking his drink. “A non-alcoholic cocktail?”
“Lou won’t budge on the age issue,” Kari replied with a chuckle. She had settled on a glass of cold milk herself.
A loud thumping noise interrupted Matthew’s groove. Eyes turned at the entrance, where the time-frozen corpse of what appeared to be a mix of a lion with scales for fur and a scorpion’s tail sat. The sight startled Amélia, who clearly still needed to get used to seeing dead monsters.
Its killer let himself down the ladder and landed with a loud thump.
“Heya fellas!” Mr. Auguste greeted them all with the thickest British accent possible and the wide grin of a man enjoying life to the fullest. “Look at what I caught near the old mayor''s office!”
Sir Jonathan Auguste, alias ‘Outlander,’ was the second-oldest Crawler in the Dungeon Wreckers association and the only one with a peerage. A strongly built man with the mustached face of a balding Bryan Cranston, a pair of glasses, and the body of a bodybuilder, he loved to wear the rounded hat and out-of-fashion clothes of a big game hunter; which he was. He had ‘collected’ most of the trophies hanging on the walls around them with the trusty English longbow strapped to his back. Matthew hoped to look like him if he ever reached fifty-five.
While Julia, Florence, and Mr. Auguste formed a team, they regularly did their own thing instead. Florence’s healing Key made her invaluable as a medic for wounded Association members, while the others were tough enough to challenge lesser Dungeons on their lonesome. Julia did so out of duty, while Mr. Auguste did it out of sport.
“Nice catch,” Lou congratulated him before pulling the dead monster behind the bar counter. “I’ll put it in cold storage for dinner.”
She said that loud enough for Sasha to overhear and pale in horror. “Dinner?” she asked, almost choking as she said the word. “You’re going to eat that thing?”
“If you can’t cook everything, can you truly cook anything?” Matthew teased Sasha.
“What he said,” Lou replied with a shrug.
“Oh, sweet, newcomers!” Mr. Auguste winked at Sasha. “Young lady, I do not think you appreciate the logistics involved in securing this meal! I had to carry it all the way from Old Town in the back of my car while avoiding any mundane stares! A single glimpse would have turned this mighty beast into, say, a lion or a fish! Now we can savor a brand new flavor previously unknown to mankind!”
“That’s disgusting,” Sasha said with a hand on her mouth. “Do you… do you do that often?”
“Only with monsters who give me a challenge,” Mr. Auguste replied cheerfully. “It’s only respectful that I honor their remains. After all, they would have eaten me had they won!”
From the look on Sasha’s face, it finally hit her that an organization dedicated to killing monsters without financial compensation might not include too many well-adjusted members.
If only she knew the half of it. Mr. Auguste was an Orange Crawler, yet the Stasis spell he used was a pure Violet packaged product. He had wasted months learning a spell far away to his core color just so he and Lou could cook their monsters fresh.
Crypto wisely clapped her hands to regain everyone’s attention. “If you would please take your seat,” she said. “Now that we’re all here, the meeting will begin shortly.”
Matthew reluctantly left the piano and then sat with Kari and John at a table right next to Sasha’s group. Amélia was directly on his left and trembling like a leaf. She probably felt out of place. Matthew told himself to take a moment to talk to her later and make her feel welcome.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
Nobody said he wasn’t a team player.
“Thank you all for coming,” the Doc said from behind the counter. Liv and Crypto stood next to him, with the latter unveiling a map of Evermarsh over the dead pool board. Two dozen red crosses pinpointed landmarks all over the city. “As you are all well aware by now, a new timeshift was triggered in Panama on Friday morning. This event manifested in a quake striking the canal and history alterations around the globe. This meeting will be both a recap of our operation and the usual supply distribution.”
“Thank you, Finn,” Crypto said before taking the lead. “Since we have a few potential newcomers, I will take a moment to explain our duties and answer their questions.”
Amélia and the others shrank in their seats as a few eyes turned their way. Unfortunately, Charlie eyed Sasha with malice upon noticing her dark skin. Matthew could already tell this wouldn’t end well. That jackass couldn’t help himself.
“As I’ve explained to you earlier, I’m Riley Nielle, but most call me by the nickname Crypto,” Crypto explained. “I am the manager of Evermarsh''s Dungeon Wreckers Association and in charge of overseeing our operations.”
Petro pointed at the Doc and Liv. “I thought they built this joint?”
“We did,” the Doc confirmed. “However, we’ve found that Riley’s Key and managerial skills lend her well to the task.”
“I also administer our worldwide Crawlnet website, which I invite you to check out,” Crypto said with a dramatic wink. “Don’t bother checking those privacy internet boxes. I already know everything.”
A short, awkward silence followed.
“It was a joke,” Crypto lied. “More seriously, check the website. Since Dungeons constantly evolve, we regularly update articles on crawling basics, sorcery tips, monster hunting strategies, and in-depth analysis about how to handle forces like Disbelief. You will have access to everything there, even should you refuse to join our organization.”
“I hope they do,” Charlie said with a chuckle. “That way Umar won’t be the only sub-meridional minority on the team anymore.”
While Umar himself wisely ignored Charlie, Sasha immediately glared at him. “What does that mean?”
“That’s he’s a racist piece of shit,” Liv said bluntly. “On top of being a two-bit criminal.”
“Hey, I resent this slander!” Charlie turned to look at Kari and Matthew, as if looking for reassurance. “You know me, kids. I’ve got nothing but love for Asians and Native Americans, nothing but love!”
“Don’t bring us into this!” Matthew protested while Kari was clearly biting her own tongue in disgust.
“I’m just saying this organization is going to look like an Al-Qaeda cell at this rate,” Charlie replied with absolutely no shame at all.
“Al-Kaeda with a K,” Officer Kresnik said with the most deadpan expression possible. “They use a ‘K’ in this new timeline.”
Wait, how could he tell the difference? Matthew knew he had sharp werewolf ears, but still…
His Doom Sense triggered sharply. His head immediately snapped at Petro and Amélia, though he couldn’t identify which of them was the source of the danger. Both of them glared at Charlie; the former with a cold dead stare, and the second with sharp fury.
That’s not good. Since only threats to Matthew’s person triggered his Doom Sense, he expected some kind of blast or spell misfire. What do their Keys even do?
Matthew subtly prepared to open a hole beneath the floor should the worst come to pass, and he noticed Kari adjusting her seat too. She had noticed the tension in the air too.
Sasha, meanwhile, sneered at Charlie with palpable disdain. “My father is a Dutch pastor, you dickhead.”
Charlie scoffed. “See, she’s already lying about her credenti–”
“Charlie.” Crypto’s voice turned icy cold. “Quiet.”
Charlie clenched his jaw in frustration. He didn’t speak up again.
Liv shook her head in disgust. “Do we really have to keep this asshole on the team instead of finding a better supplier, Crypto?”
Crypto calmly joined her hands and reminded them of their mission statement. “The Dungeon Wreckers Association is entirely apolitical. Our only goal is the eradication of Dungeons across Evermarsh’s agglomeration in the name of protecting the human race. All prejudices, allegiances, or issues you may have with your fellow members stop at the door.”
She glanced at Liv and Charlie.
“Understood?” she asked, politely yet firmly.
Liv and Charlie snorted in frustration, but both kept their mouths shut. Crypto ran a very tight ship.
“Good,” she said before smiling at Sasha. “I apologize on behalf of my colleagues. The recent surge in Dungeons is wearing on everyone’s nerves.”
“Yeah, right,” Sasha replied with a snort. She didn’t believe in Crypto’s polite lie, but would go along with it for the sake of decorum. Neither of her friends stopped glaring at Charlie either. “You said it was the fourth time history changed?”
“It’s actually the fifth,” Crypto replied. “Though Dungeons appeared around 2019, the first of them to reach critical mass did so on January 14th, 2021. We’ve faced one timeshift each year since.”
“Until this one,” Liv pointed out.
“Until 2024,” Crypto replied with a sigh. She pointed at the map, her finger tracing the marked sites. “Our organization’s task is to eradicate Dungeons around Evermarsh before any of them grows too large. These are all confirmed locations so far."
"So nineteen?" John asked after some quick mental math. “A substantial number, but not the worst we''ve faced.”
"Those are only the Dungeons we''ve found," Kari pointed out. "There''s likely more we haven''t discovered yet."
Crypto nodded in agreement. Her Key ability allowed her to telepathically control machinery ranging from cars to computers and cameras. Between her power and her official job as a cybersecurity consultant, she was usually the first to learn of a Dungeon’s spawning. She gathered and wove data the way an artist used a palette.
"According to my model, these Dungeons account for ten to twenty percent of the actual count,” she said with disturbing calm. "Based on previous data and Evermarsh''s unnatural concentration of Dungeons, I predict that the region now hosts a little over a hundred of them spread across the agglomeration and its surrounding region.”
The room erupted in shouts and shocked gasps. Kari covered her mouth in horror while John scowled grimly. As for Matthew, he nearly spat out his drink; both because of the sheer number and the cocktail’s sour, acidic taste.
I hate math, Matthew thought grimly. I hate it so much.
This year would be difficult.