Chapter 663 Psychological Shadow


    "It won''t work..." Julien shook his head.


    In fact, he was not unaware that something was wrong with his psyche. But he did not think that his


    situation could be understood by a psychiatrist.


    Hearing these words, Sydney instantly frowned unhappily, "How do you know? You haven''t even


    tried, so how do you know it won''t work?” Julien closed his eyes, "My mom...regretted giving birth to


    me..."


    "What?” Sydney was first stunned for a moment and then looked at him, puzzled." You said that


    your mom regretted giving birth to you?” Julien remained silent. Sydney shook her head, "How


    could it be? It''s absolutely impossible! How do you know that? I heard from your grandmother that


    you and your mom were very close to each other and that your mom was very gentle."


    So how could such a mother regret giving birth to him?


    But looking at his expression, it seemed that it was not a lie.


    So, what was going on? Julien still closed his eyes without saying a word. Seeing him like this,


    Sydney was even more worried.


    She lowered her head and drew closer to him, "Julien, just tell me about it. I am your listener. Don''t


    keep everything in your mind, or it will be difficult for you toe out of it. Both Grandma and I care


    about you a lot. We want to see you step out from the shadows and return to normal. If you don’t


    say anything or don''t even try it, we will be more worried about you. Do you really want to see


    Grandma and me feel worried about you every year? Don’t forget, Grandma is quite old"


    N?velDrama.Org holds this content.


    She didn’t tell him that his grandmother had fainted.


    He was already in bad condition, so to tell him about it would only add fuel to the fire.


    It would be better to wait until he was in a better mood.


    After he heard her words, Julien''s lips moved slightly. He had to admit that he indeed made people


    who cared about him worry.


    And Grandma was truly old.


    Especially in the past two years, Grandma''s health has been getting worse day by day.


    The doctor said that there were not many years left for her.


    "The night my mommitted suicide..." Julien opened his eyes and finally spoke. Sydney stared


    at him and asked, "And then?"


    "That night, she drank a lot. I didn''t know why and just stayed with her. Later she got drunk, hugged


    me and said a lot to me..." Julien stared at the ceiling with nk eyes, "Besides crying that Dallin


    was getting married, she also told me that if she had not been pregnant, she would go with Dallin


    without any hesitation. But she was pregnant with me, so she chose to stay.”


    "Oh...” Sydney''s look changed slightly, "So, because of these words, you believed that your mom


    had regretted giving birth to you?"


    Julien''s eyshes fluttered, "At that time, I didn''t know who Dallin was, but I knew that my mom


    didn’t love my dad and didn''t want to marry him. But for me, she chose to stay and maintain the


    marriage, and I was even secretly delighted about it.


    However, the next morning, I found she was dead. Since then, I have been having nightmares for


    over a decade. In my nightmares, the scene my mom killed herself always appears, or it would be


    the scene where she was covered in blood, choked me and asked me why I had to exist and drag


    her down."


    Sydney bit her lips and said, "These were nightmares, and these were all false."


    "I know, but my mom''s thought was real." Julien looked at her with bleak eyes," Because of these


    nightmares, I learned that it was me that prevented my mom from pursuing her happiness, and it


    was me that made her give up leaving my dad. It was me who caused her death."


    Hearing these words, Sydney was shocked and instantly understood that the real shadow in his


    mind was not the witness of her mother’s death.


    The real shadow was that, in his mind, the one who killed his mom was him.


    "No!" Sydney shook her head immediately,'' Julien, that’s not true. You didn''t make your mother die,


    and your mother didn’t regard you as a drag. Listen, all these you have said are your thought. They


    are your nightmares and not what your mother meant. You''re her son, so how could she think you


    were a drag?"


    Anyway, if it happened to her, even if she loved someone else, she would not regret giving birth to


    another man''s child.


    In her opinion, a sensible woman should be aware that the child was innocent and should not vent


    her anger on a child.


    After these words, a bright light shed in Julien''s eyes, but it soon disappeared.


    He shook his head slightly, "You''re not her, so you don''t know her thoughts."


    "Yes, I know." Sydney held his hand tightly and nodded her head affirmatively, "Julien, I''m pretty


    sure what I said is true. I''ve heard a lot about you and your mom from your grandmother. Your mom


    was gentle and good to you. For you, she did take her responsibility as a mother even if she didn''t


    love your dad. You said she regretted having you, but I think it was just a sentiment, a sentiment


    about another possibility for her life, not regret. If she really regretted it, she would not say ''if'', but


    straightforwardly told you that she regretted giving birth to you."


    Julien''s eyes flickered a few times. Sydney added, "If she truly regretted it and regarded you as an


    obstacle to her happiness, she would not have been so good to you and would not have done her


    duty as a mother. So, Julien, the reason why you have these nightmares is that you were too deeply


    affected by your mom''s sentiment. But in fact, those nightmares were all fake and they were all your


    imagination. Just try to forget those words ande out of it, will you?”


    Julien replied with a bitter smile, "It has been more than ten years. How can I forget it easily?”


    "I know, but you have to try and go ahead, don''t you?" Sydney said. After that, she suddenly


    thought of something and walked aside, then picked up a bag on the ground.


    Under the puzzled gaze of Julien, she put her hand into the bag and took out something from it.


    It was a scarf, a ck scarf.


    Thought of the scarf he had asked her to knit yesterday, Julien''s eyes widened slightly, "This is..."


    "This is the scarf you asked me to knit. I''ve done it. I stayed up all night for itst night." Sydney


    shook out the scarf and hung it on his neck, "Nice, it''s pretty."


    Originally, she nned to give it to him on his birthday.


    But considering he was in a bad mood today, she brought it with her.


    She thought it might help to calm him down.


    Julien touched the scarf on his neck. It was soft, with a faint scent that was from her body. He


    couldn''t help but hold the scarf tightly and bury his head into it. Seeing him like this, Sydney added,


    "Originally it was your birthday present, but now it''s given to you in advance. So when your birthday


    comes, I''ll give you another present.”


    "It is good enough.” Julien touched the scarf and looked at her fondly. Sydney poured a cup of warm


    water and asked, "Do you want some?" Julien shook his head," No."


    "No, you have to. Your voice is really hoarse." Sydney frowned and said.


    If there had been honey in his apartment, she would have made honey water for him to help recover


    his voice.