*Side quest failed


    In hindsight, I should have tried to find shelter.


    Fist-sized pellets of hail batter my aching shoulders or split into shards on my skull. I run, trying to reach the distant forest. Two bulls chase me, hot on my tail. For some reason, they are not peaceful herbivores that leave you alone if you don′t bother them. They have fangs and bloodshot eyes and run at an incredible speed. Luckily, they are not very agile. They need time to turn, to stop, and to accelerate again. They may be twice as fast as me in a straight line, but they are not that hard to evade.


    One of them is close again, I step aside, and he rushes past. I try to pierce him with my blade, but I may as well be hitting stone. The vibration of the impact punishes my sore wrists. I look at my chipped and now even bent blade. Astonished. What are they made of?


    Don′t get distracted. The second one is incoming. I jump high into the air. He rushes past beneath me.


    This may have been a bad decision because the first one is already coming again. My feet try to reach the ground, racing against sharp horns, aiming for my backside.


    My feet win by a hairbreadth. But my footing isn′t steady enough to jump to the side. I barely manage to lean out of the way. His shoulder hits me like a battering ram, throwing me into the drenched grassland. I roll through the dirt with a wet splash, just in time to evade the second one again. I glare at them. They roar, snort, and bellow. Another egg-sized pellet of hail cracks against the back of my head, pushing my face back into the mud. Lightning falls close by, illuminating even more cows and bulls wandering in the distance. Enough of this nonsense!


    They may be fast, strong, and incredibly durable, but how intelligent are they?


    The first one is nearly upon me again. I dodge to the left. I take a few steps back, waiting for the second one, and dodge to the left again. I need to throw off their timing. The first one comes in. I sidestep and follow as he rushes by, keeping an eye on the second one. He starts turning. I cut diagonally towards him, towards where he will be, the other one is coming close behind me. At the last moment, I jump high again. One bull crashes into the other one and sends him flying. I turn and bolt toward the forest. Ear-splitting bellows die under the rain.


    I hear a snort and look back over my shoulder. One still follows me, tongue lolling, swinging from side to side. His mouth is dripping bloody foam with each step. But one solitary bull is easy to evade without being forced to change directions every few seconds. We have left the other one behind, hobbling in the distance.


    Finally, we reach the forest. The bull crashes, trips, and stumbles through the undergrowth for a few meters. He looks at me and tries to gain speed. I step behind a towering tree and look out the other side.


    He snorts and bellows in rage. Then he turns around and walks back into the open plains, swishing his drenched tail from side to side like a whip.


    I sit down as close to the trunk of the tree as I can get, trying to hide from the hail without much success. The bigger pellets crash through the crown, tearing off leaves, branches, and pieces of bark that fall all around me in a rain of wood splinters. At least it softens the impact a bit. I look around, searching for a better tree. There is one, a bit further into the thick shrubbery. A half-fallen trunk, still full of branches and dead, yellow needles, that, instead of falling to the ground, has gotten stuck between the branches of a few adjacent trees, leaving a relatively dry and sheltered space beneath.


    *Reassessing


    …


    Side quest completed


    Grade: D-


    Calculating rewards…


    You have received Impact resistance +1


    Resistances unlocked


    Resistances work as a bonus or malus over your constitution attribute that makes you more resistant or vulnerable toward certain types of damage.


    Error.


    The constitution attribute is not supported in the initial system integration package of this cycle. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Error.


    Constitution is a basic attribute.


    Searching for justification.


    Constitution has been declared a premium attribute since integration cycle number 89.


    Additional attributes may be bought at the system store.


    Error.


    The system store is not supported in the initial system integration package of this cycle.


    Resistances can not be unlocked.


    Error.


    Increases in specific resistances are an integral part of the rewards of the Impossible difficulty tutorial.


    Conflict of interests detected.


    Possible mismanagement detected.


    Generating a maintenance ticket.


    Waiting for a solution…*


    What is all this nonsense again? I thought I was free from all these distracting windows. I duck beneath the tree trunk to sit on the dry, half-rotten leaves. The hailstorm doesn′t seem so dangerous anymore. It is almost like music. Crazy drummers hammer their fists against wooden planks at top speed, keeping the rhythm. The wind whistles. Bringing the distant howls of wolves to my ears.


    *Worldwide notice:


    System actualization No 3.111.45678


    -A bug that blocked the acquisition of certain attributes has been removed.


    -The constitution attribute has been made available again.


    -The system store has been made available again. It will unlock once a User meets the requirements.*


    Suddenly, there is silence. I blink. When my eyes open again, all the hail that covered the ground has disappeared. Even the storm has disappeared. The sky is clear and blue, except on the horizon, where the fake sun is setting.


    I frown. The sun is fake, and the sky is fake. Even the storm was fake. Is there anything real here? My arms are bruised and tender. That seems real. The hail seemed real. How did it disappear? I look around. There are torn leaves and branches everywhere. I discover a few nearly molten hail-grains.


    I didn′t imagine it, but I must have lost time without realizing it. I shiver.


    *You have unlocked your constitution attribute.


    Constitution assessed at 18.


    Achievements reapplied retroactively.


    Constitution +1


    You have unlocked resistances.*


    Okay? What are those anyway?


    *Resistances:


    -Impact 1


    -Darkness 90


    -Light -85


    -Curses 30


    -Death 90


    -Poison 90


    ???*


    I am resistant to death, whatever that means. Well, I already died once, and here I am. No surprise there.


    Yammering howls pierce the forest. I look up, trying to catch the direction they came from. They grow louder and closer, but I still don′t see them.


    What is that? A horse-sized pitch-black beast wanders into a clearing a few hundred meters away. A grey one follows it, and another.


    I am out of here. If those are as strong as the bulls, there is nothing I can do. Those are wolves, giant wolves, pack predators. The first of them looks my way, yellow eyes meeting mine. I turn around the tree and bolt upwards. The bark is slippery after the hail and rain, but my clawlike nails help my grip. Before they can reach me, I want to be way up.


    They circle the base of the tree, looking up, scratching the bark, and yammering at me. The big black one grins at me, eyes glinting with intelligence. It is like he is telling me that I should give up, that there is nowhere to go. Well, he is wrong. The trees are very close to one another and sturdy enough to jump from branch to branch like a squirrel.


    I climb high into the crown, bending the branches, and jump over their heads. I grin back. Stupid mutt! Five trees later, they still follow me. Tenacious like a pack of hyenas. I look at them. Really? The big black mutt swipes his paw. Something dark glitters through the air and rams into the branch beneath my feet. The branch wobbles but holds. A sorcerer? How can a mutt be a sorcerer? I feel like my entire worldview is about to collapse.  I continue swinging and jumping from tree crown to tree crown. Finally, the wolves get tired and fall back.


    I can hear horses whining in the distance. I sneak closer without getting down to the ground. Who knows if the mutts really left or are just hiding somewhere, waiting to pounce?


    I can see a carriage now, black and shiny, escorted by four ironclad riders armed with longswords.  I follow them, a shadow gliding through the tree crowns. Maybe once they camp, I can get a drink. They might as well show me the way to the next city. One of those swords would be nice. I would prefer a spear, but beggars can′t be choosers.


    An arrow flies through the air and slams into the side of the carriage. Followed by another. Where did that shot come from? Another arrow. One of the horses stumbles and then bucks, throwing off his rider.


    *Side quest received:


    Safe the eldest daughter of Lord Thunderfield from being kidnapped by the Blackforest bandits.*


    Yeah, I don′t care.


    Men start swarming out of the woods, rough-looking people armed with spiked maces. One swipes his hand through the air in a weird gesture, and the spokes of one of the carriage wheels splinters into pieces.


    A bandit sorcerer? Why are there sorcerers everywhere? I may not care about some noble girl, but I can′t ignore that now. More arrows fly. Found you! It is time to get my first snack of the evening.