Her throbbing head wasn’t helping her to steady herself. The pain was a unique one to her, something new. It was by no means the worst pain she’d felt before… it was just different. The intense throbbing on her skull made it challenging to focus, and hard to collect her thoughts.


    She wasn’t quite sure how long she was stuck just laying there lost in thought as the dream replayed itself through her mind. What brought her mind back to focus was the smell, the tantalizing aroma of sizzling meat drifting through the air causing her to slowly lift her head up much to her body’s annoyance.


    Across from her, while her innards did backflips and her skull stabbed her brain, she saw Jake knelt beside a crackling fire. She wasn’t quite sure where the two of them were, last she remembered she’d been sitting in the bar talking and laughing beside Jake. Now though she lay flat on her back struggling to move beneath a mountain of blankets.


    She could see the twisting form of trees in the background, tall and sturdy looking. Beneath her grass tickled her back and she could feel an odd coolness that relaxed her aching frame. It seemed long ago the early morning dew of the valley had sunk into her sleeping frame. Up above, however, the sun blazed down as midday had already approached. As she lay lost in thought pondering exactly how it could be she’d come to lay sprawled out in this valley Jake turned towards her, responding to her sudden movements.


    “Morning sunshine!” He called, voice sounding cheery and slightly mocking. He turned back to the fire and rotated the bird he’d managed to catch over the flame.


    He felt a moment’s gratitude Alice had still been out cold when he’d gone to hunt the birds. It had been a total failure, his knife missing completely and sending the perched creatures into a panicked frenzy. He’d only managed to catch this one due to its own stupidity. In its panic to escape it had flown headfirst into a branch above its head and knocked itself out cold.


    Jake could imagine her voice in his head if she’d been awake to see that display. “Nice throw greenie!” She’d have cried. Here her cackle as he panicked to try and grab the crippled bird before it could fly off again. ... Actually, maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad. It might have been able to cheer her up some. He recalled her troubled words as she drifted off to sleep. Her fitful motions and cries as she jerked about, refusing to wake up. Thinking about it now, was rather a shame she missed the bird hunt.


    Shaking his head to clear his cluttered thoughts away, Jake turned the makeshift spit he’d jabbed the bird’s carcass onto. He had no clue how to clean and cook a bird, so he was imitating what he saw in supermarkets in hopes it came out edible. Stopping on a patch of meat that looked slightly less cooked than the rest of the bird, Jake hopped to his feet and walked toward Alice water skin in hand.


    “Here, you’ll want this.” He said, ignoring the tears staining her cheek. It wasn’t his business to pry if she didn’t want to talk about it.


    “Thank you…” She said, voice slightly shaky and unwell. Reaching forward with her uninjured arm, she grabbed hold of the waterskin and began to drink greedily. The water seemed to help somewhat, momentarily dulling the throbbing pain in her head, but still soon as she stopped the dull ache returned as her body protested its existence.


    “…What is this…” She asked weakly, allowing herself to collapse back into the grass and covers around her.


    “Hangover,” Jake said cheerfully, flashing her a smile. “The first one’s always the worst. You got blackout drunk your first time drinking which… isn’t the best idea. My bad, sorry about that.”


    He let out a little laugh seeing her glare at him in annoyance. She seemed to be fine if still suffering the effects of getting wasted for the first time. Still though, something about the way her voice seemed to shake. The slight look of loss in her eyes. Those tears still stuck fast to the side of her face…


    “Just keep drinking water. It’ll help eventually. No painkillers so it’s the best we got. I’ll be back with some food. That might help or might make it worse…” trailing off at seeing the look he received from her, Jake left to retrieve his bird which was now starting to burn upon its spit.


    Flat on her back, waterskin in her hand Alice enjoyed the sky above. Clouds rolled lazily past moving at a nice slow past. As her body ached and screamed in protest, she found some joy in just laying still, enjoying the sky above. New and unknown. Eventually, Jake returned carrying two portions of roasted meat roughly cut and divided upon spare cloth. Her portion set beside her, she glanced at it and realized her innards were still busying themselves doing tricks leaving her with little appetite.


    “How’d we get here?” She asked Jake, turning her attention away from the taunting smell of the meat.


    “Fell when the sun rose just like any other day. You slept right through it though. Doubt you even remember me carrying you out to the stables.”


    “Nice enough place to sleep I guess…” Alice said after a beat of silence. “Finally gave me a nickname, huh?”


    “What?” Jake asked utterly confused about what she could be talking about, wondering if maybe she had dreamt something in her drunken daze.


    “Sunshine… not bad greenie…” She said, smiling at him in a slightly mocking manner.


    “No, see that’s just a…” Jake began, ready to explain the common use of the phrase back home but stopped. Something about the look in her eyes, the subtle shift in her voice. Even the smile she wore, usually vigorous and lively, looked completely dead. He wanted to hold his tongue. Didn’t want to ask, fearful that trying to force her problems loose might just make things worse. But something about her stirred him to action, made inaction impossible.


    “You''re sure you''re alright?” he asked scootching a bit closer to her across the grass setting his meal aside.


    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    “I… I’m…” she said, stuttering a bit as she looked at him. Her thoughts raged in her aching head, memories of the dream weighing her down in a heavy collage she’d much rather forget. Something she’d much rather try to bury and move on from. But something about his kindly tone, the look of concern on his face…


    She began to recount the dream as if some hidden dam within her broke. It sounded so stupid to share, the story of herself weightless and free-flying about only to be thrust faster and faster into a nightmare. Only to be surrounded by screams of pain, screams calling out for help. Only to be encountered with…


    When she reached the part of the dream about Betsy, she found herself faltering. She couldn’t bring herself to talk about her. She thought she’d managed to bury her memory of her sister years ago, managed to limp on in life as she accepted it. Accepted she’d never see her sister alive or dead again. Yet the voice forcefully unearthed her memories. Forcefully confronted her with the sick truth of her sister’s fate, one of many scenarios she imagined for her sister. She’d thought the dreams were over but now they were back, worse than ever before.


    “… then I just woke up, the voice’s screaming around me…” She finished, glancing away with a shiver as she recalled Betsy’s voice clear as the day she lost her. Looking back after a moment toward


    Jake she was almost shocked to see how serious he looked. She’d expected him to just humor her, listen to her dreams out of pity, and try to cheer her up with some flowery words. It made her chuckle and brought a smile to her face to see how serious he seemed to be taking her dream. She supposed he wasn’t used to her nightmares, but still, it was humorous to see. Sweet to see.


    Sat across from her, Jake struggled to hide his distress about her dream. He wasn’t a psychologist, he wasn’t trained to try and interpret dreams, but one thing seemed clear to him. This journey of theirs, this endless random journey from place to place, was wearing her down. Slowly breaking her psyche. Guilt bubbled within as his worries about finding the perfect world for her intensified, and the time limit to end the crumbling shortened to near nothing. Who knows how long they could stand to travel together? Who knows how long she could stand to stay with him?


    All sorts of questions started erupting in his head. He asked himself if it would be best to simply slip away from her in the next civilized reality. Simply trust in her to solve the crumbling. He denounced the thought immediately. She could decide for herself where she wanted to stay, and what she wanted to do. It wasn’t up to him to force her anywhere, force her to do anything. He just had to trust traveling from world to world wouldn’t wear her down too much…


    Still, he couldn’t shake the worry he felt, the guilt he felt. Sat across from her, his expression slowly growing more serious as he fought the conflicting thoughts in his head Alice lay across from him and let out another chuckle at his reaction to her dream. It still was unpleasant to talk about. Unpleasant to think about. The fast-paced fly-by through world after world, trapped and unable to do anything was terrifying. Nothing like reality, nothing like the views she could she traipsing across creation. Still, though it was hard to forget the dream. Especially…


    Laid back she found herself asking Jake a question before she could help herself,


    “What was your family like?”


    Jake seemed to flinch a bit, and she knew she’d overstepped. With each passing day, it seemed he was less willing to talk about his past, but some topics were more taboo than others. His family had always seemed an unspoken taboo. So convinced was he that he’d never see them again he just wanted to forget about them, leave them behind completely rather than cling to pained memories. But still, she’d brought them up, spurred on in the heat of the moment.


    “…My family huh…?” Jake repeated voice distant and quiet. His gaze focused on her and he found her shrinking back a bit, a look of guilt and regret on her face. He didn’t want to bring the topic up. He didn’t want to talk about them at all. It hurt too much. But still, for reasons unknown to him she was curious. And he’d been looking for ways to help her feel better…


    “They were like any other family I guess…” Jake began voice still quiet as he struggled to speak. “My mom and dad… my sisters…”


    “Sisters?”


    “Yeah… yeah. Janet and Jesica. My dad… heh… my dad wanted us to be iterative and convinced my mom to do it for my two sisters. Then when I was born he said ‘It won''t make sense if we don’t do it for all three…’”


    “What were they like… your sisters…”


    “I don’t know, typically siblings. They always seemed to tease me or bully me but would help if I asked nice enough. I would play with them when I was little but they started avoiding me like the plague once they got older. My sister Janet was only a few years older than me so we were a bit closer than Jessica… she was almost a decade older than us. … they were my sisters what do you want me to… are you ok?”


    Alice had begun to cry, softly and silently. Reaching up to her face she covered her eyes and let out a sniffle. She hadn’t even felt the tears begin, so caught up in Jake''s words. So busy imagining what it might have been like to properly care for Betsy, tease her and play with her. To watch her grow up. Her arm still covering her eyes and her voice shaky, Jake struggled a bit to hear her.


    “I’m… I’m fine. Please just… keep going…”


    “I can stop if you…”


    “I’m fine, really…please don’t stop…” It hurt to hear him talk, hurt to hear stories of his sisters and him. Yet at the same time, another part of her craved more.


    “Sure fine…” Jake said, leaning back unsure what to say next. “Well, one time we went swimming. When I was really little… I didn’t know how to properly swim yet so I had these floaty things on my arm. Anyway, I got into the pool and it was packed, I could barely move an inch. As I’m trying to paddle about in it, I’m getting knocked about so much that one of the floaties comes off. I''m struggling to stay afloat now with just one arm and I’m panicking convinced I’m going to die when suddenly I’m lifted out of the water.”


    “I look up to see Jessica looking at me. ‘Just stand.’ That was all she said. Then she dropped me back into the water. I started floundering again till I felt my foot brush the floor. I was in the shallows the whole time. I remember feeling so embarrassed, I could see my whole family laughing at me. Don’t remember why I remember that so clearly. Couldn’t have been very old…”


    Jake fell silent after his story, a small smile forcing itself on his face. Alice lay still and quiet her face still covered by her arm. Worried for her Jake started to move closer till suddenly he heard her quietly mutter,


    “…swimming…”


    “Oh yeah, how to explain, swimming is…”


    “I know what swimming is…” Alice interrupted voice slightly annoyed, “Just thought it might be fun to try.”


    “…you’ll have to give it a shot sometime.”


    “Next time we land somewhere with a pool let’s try it. It’s a promise, ok?”


    “… ok…” Jake said, uncertain how to feel. So many times, they promised to try something together, promised to stick together just a little while longer. He needed to brace himself for their separation. Still, though, swimming wasn’t hard to promise. It couldn’t take too long to find a pool or a river or something.


    “…If you don’t mind…” Alice spoke, interrupting his train of thought, “I’m going to just lay here a while, let me head clear a bit.”


    She vaguely heard Jake’s agreement, heard him shuffle away. Her view was still dark, her arm blocked anything from reaching her sight. A shiver went down her spine. Swimming huh? Betsy would have loved swimming.