Except…
“Are you there?” he asked. “I think you might need to start again.”
“You’re awake!” Sinit?a sprung into view, bouncing onto the bed beside him and making his head ache.
He pulled himself up into a seated position, his head screaming in protest. The room spun a little, but his vision soon cleared.
Sinit?a put a hand on the side of his face. Her touch was electrifying, and shivers ran down his spine, arms, and legs. He closed his eyes, and her touch remained. It felt so much more real than in any of the previous dreams.
“There was a mentalist. He said his diare wanted him to practise on a human.”
She looked confused. “Shouldn’t they be?”
“Because I think you might actually be real. Oh gods, Sinit?a. It was horrible. So horrible. I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
And then he wailed. It all poured out of him, the terror, the frustration, the anger. He sobbed into her chest for ages. It could have been hours for all he knew.
And her hair: blonde, slightly curled, and tied into a pair of pigtails, each with a yellow bow.
Her cheeks reddened. “You think so? I don’t have my handmaids, so I had to do everything myself. I’ve gotten pretty good at that the last month or so, but still not as good as they can do. Especially my hair.”
“Is there some sort of special occasion?”
She broke into a wide smile. “I’m going to give a speech to the Lamdritta!”
She nodded vigorously. “As an official Arnorin representative—kind of. I’ve never given a speech before, but I’ve watched Mother do it many times. And Cerus. Cerus is really good at speeches. So I’ll just be like them. Eti?nne and Miana helped me write it. I’m going to tell the Lamdritta off—kind of.”
He nodded. “I get it.” He shouldn’t be embarrassed. It was just natural bodily processes. But he was embarrassed anyway. He hated thinking of anyone else having to clean up his messes. “So, uh...how long have I been here?”
He was terrified to ask who had done it. It was a strange terror. He was unlikely to recognise whoever it was. “Who...uh…?”
She caught on to what he was trying to say. “Darkers. Isyar Darkers. They’re called the Pundritta. Or well, their leaders are. There were a bunch of them holding you, but Nascanmat was the one doing things to your mind.”
“Nascanmat? Is that…?”
“Paydamat’s siare.” She scowled and her upper lip twitched. “I hate both of them. I hate them so much.”
“Paydamat’s a Darker?”
It explained how she’d treated him, he supposed. “What happened to them?”
Sinit?a sighed. “Paydamat got away. Nobody knows where she is. They caught Nascanmat and one of the other Darkers, but…”
“Is it bad that I kind of wish they’d killed them? I know they want to question them, and they can probably learn something important, but I don’t want to be there because I think I’d want to kill them. I mean, if I saw Nascanmat right now, I’d… Am I a bad person?”
Her hand tensed and she grimaced. “Oh. I...I sort of started using that at some point. I can stop if you don’t like it. It was kind of silly of me.”
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“Oh, um…” She sat up straighter, wiped her eyes, and brushed back a few strands of hair. “When you were kidnapped, I got so scared, and so angry. I wasn’t scared for me. I was scared for you. I almost did that magic thing which could burn me out. There were all these lights coming out of me. Chiansamorkin saved me, and she was even going to teach me how to use magic. But oh yeah, she turned out to be a Darker.”
“Not one of the Darkers who took you, but yeah. She and Jorvan had a big fight. I was there at the beginning, but she knocked me out… But anyway, that’s not what I was trying to say.”
“Melly, you’re my best friend, but I think you’re even more than that. I love you more than anyone. I realised that when you were gone, and I couldn’t tell you. I knew that I had to tell you when we found you again. I know it’s an Isyar thing, but I kind of want you to be my fomase. Jorvan said it’s okay for us to use the word. If you want to, that is.”
He stared at her. One of the illusions had gone something like this. No, there were several actually, just in one of them, she had even tried to seduce him. That had been what had given the dream’s illusory status away that time, not her eye colour. It had been one of the earliest dreams.
“Right, sorry.” His captor had said she held a prominent position in his mind. And she did. More than prominent. He’d known that for a while now. His feelings for her confused him. Was he in denial?
Gods, he was being an idiot. He knew his feelings. He just didn’t want to admit them, even to himself. But what if this wasn’t real? What if it was all still an illusion? He’d be admitting to his captor that he…
He’d be admitting what his captor already knew, so it made no difference. Time to get over his fears and just tell her.
“Sinit?a, I…” He was trembling and he wondered if she could feel it. Probably. “I’d be honoured to be your fomase.”
“It’s okay.” He lay on his back a bit longer before risking sitting up again. When he started to prop himself up, she offered her hand and helped him.
He tried again, put his arms around her this time. He tried to make it something more. Did he need to move his lips in some way?
She snickered and stuck her tongue out at him. “Just testing.” She grinned. “But anyway, you are smart. You’re the smartest person I know, which means you think a lot about everything, and that’s good. But maybe this time, you should just, I don’t know...not think? Just do it.” She placed her hand on the side of his head, ran her fingers through his hair, leaned forward, and kissed him.
“You got some of my make-up on you,” she said.
He stared at her a moment, then laughed.
He instinctively wiped his mouth with his arm. “So, what do we do now?”
“Heh, me too,” he said.
“Oh!” She straightened herself up. “There was something else I wanted to ask you. You know how Jorvan and Fevionawishtensen were going to do that fomaze thing. You know, the one with the zzz sound, not the sss sound.”
He nodded again. “Kind of. What are you getting at?” He knew what she was getting at, but, once again, it didn’t hurt to focus her towards it.
“You want us to do the fomase thing—”
“Fomaze.”
“Right, sorry, fomaze.”
“Jorvan was unsure, but Fevionawishtensen says it’s allowed. It’s just never been done before.”
Sinit?a looked back at Meleng. She scrunched her nose. “You look a little...horrified.”
Meleng grimaced. “Oh, uh...it’s just, of all the people to catch us like this.”
She grinned. “Oh, there are élite outside. They’re there to protect you. If you need anything, just ask them.”
She grimaced and shook her head. “Jorvan said they’ll go get someone who can though.” She kissed him again. “I’ll see you soon.” She jumped to her feet and headed to the door, stopping partway. She turned around, ran back over to him, and kissed him once more. Then she headed out the door.
And he was. He was happier than he could remember ever being. He was in love with Sinit?a, and she was in love with him, and it was wonderful.