Chapter 20 - The Wedding


    Morgan opened her own eyes to blood everywhere. Her ears rang. Her room was wrecked. Her brother lay next to her, with empty eyes and surprise on his face.


    The injured cthulian crawled over to Raf. It reached a tentacle into his ear and pulled out a bizarre wiggling thing. Nustling it tenderly, the cthulian then crawled sideways to the balcony and jumped over the ledge.


    Morgan was in shock, too dazed to do anything but watch.


    Then she was alone, staring into her brother''s dead eyes. She sobbed. Finally, she reached over and shut his lids, resting her hand on his face, his sweet face.


    He saved her. Somehow. Azazel was gone.


    There was nothing left to do but rise and think.


    What will she do? She wasn''t free, not really.


    There was nowhere to run. Adam and Milo would come for her. And Lyn!


    Lyn was downstairs locked in her room! And Gramma Henri! What would become of them now?


    There was nowhere to run.


    She had to lie. Yes, that was it. Rowan taught her to lie. She would marry Milo and hide in plain sight.


    But what about Raf and the state of her room? Soon her handmaiden Brigit would be in to wake Morgan and help start her day. Morgan needed a damn good explanation before sunrise.


    She tried to think and plan, but she was still in shock.


    A knock on the door brought her back to reality. The sky was already a mess of pinks and blues. Another knock on the door. She sluggishly picked herself up.


    The door opened, and Milo Meiori let himself in, first looking petulant, then bewildered. His jaw dropped as he took in the bloody scene.


    Rage exploded in Morgan at the sight of Milo, but she took a slow breath and did her best Azazel impersonation.


    "Rafael is dead. Send in cleaners to take care of… this."


    Milo blinked indignantly and shuffled his feet. "Well. I came to inform you Henrietta was suffocated last night while she slept. I won''t have you torturing that poor old woman. Thankfully, she didn''t live to see this ghastly sight."


    Morgan could barely understand the words Milo said. He had Gramma Henri killed? He… She…


    Morgan''s heartbeat pounded in her ears. She reached inside herself to that strange place Azazel opened when it cast hard light, and Morgan summoned radiant spears to surround Milo Meiori and impale him in rapid succession. He gasped and coughed blood as the spears carried him across the room so Morgan could watch him die. Then she threw his body over the balcony, not unlike when Azazel threw Raf...


    Morgan woke up in a warm bath. She didn''t even remember falling asleep. Brigit was brushing Morgan''s hair and saying something from far away.


    What will Morgan do?


    What will Adam do when he finds out? If he finds out…


    What will she tell him?


    Morgan was supposed to marry Milo in a few days. What day was today?


    She was standing. Brigit was drying her off, then she helped Morgan into clothes. A dark dress and veil for modesty and grief. No jewelry. Easy shoes.


    A familiar voice broke through the spell Morgan was under.


    "Thank you, Brigit. Please alert Moondial''s groundskeepers and have them wait outside."


    "Yes, Captain."


    Morgan looked up to see Reynard, Rowan''s disguise. Captain Reynard was the face that trained Morgan to fight and survive.


    But that''s impossible. Rowan was dead. Could they truly have survived a spear to the chest?


    Morgan tore the veil off her face. The spacious bathroom came into focus.


    "Are you real?"


    After Brigit shut the door behind her, Rowan dropped the disguise and reverted to their firefox form, lithe, deadly, and familiar.


    "It''s me, Mo-mo. It''s me."


    Morgan stumbled and ran to embrace them and sob.


    "I''m sorry! I''m so, so sorry."


    "No, I''m sorry! I didn''t know about the fallen. I shouldn''t have left you."


    "What happened? How are you alive? I stabbed you."


    "Thanks to my new friends here, who you''ve met."


    Two figures stepped out of the shadows. One was dark and ageless and floating in a pillar of hard shadows. Morgan recalled painfully.


    The other was androgynous, young, and devastated, their face soaked with tears.


    Morgan examined the sad one, sensing a kinship. "Did you know Rafael?" she asked plainly.


    The sad one hiccuped and nodded. "I fished him out of the Snare two mornings ago. That set me on a path bringing me here."


    Morgan blinked and whispered, "You saved him? After the fall, it was you."


    She rushed to embrace the chainfisher that saved her brother, who freed Morgan from endless torment.


    "Who are you?" Morgan asked.


    "Hinata," they said, chuckling.


    "Samaal," said the ashen shadow man. "No hard feelings about cutting my legs off."


    Morgan sensed he had hard feelings.


    She looked back at Rowan. "What are we gonna do?"


    Rowan changed to appear as Milo Meiori, and Morgan almost attacked upon seeing Milo''s face again.


    "We get married," said Milo. "But first, we should go to Lyn. She''s had a rough time."


    Indeed Lyn was distraught.


    Lyn had broken almost everything in her room, her furniture, her toys; even the door was beginning to give way to her tiny ferocious fists.


    After several hours, she tired herself out and fell asleep on the floor.


    She woke up terribly hungry.


    Her head ached, and the lights were blinding. Lyn was too miserable to scream. Instead, she crawled under a table and cried weakly and inconsolably.


    That''s how Morgan and Rowan found her. They pulled her out from under the bed, but Lyn screamed in agony when the sunlight touched her.


    They tried to feed Lyn breakfast, but she vomited everything. Soon she couldn''t get out of bed.


    ''Blood,'' Lyn signed weakly. ''Thirsty.''


    Samaal recognized the symptoms at once. He took Morgan and Rowan aside, where Lyn wouldn''t be able to read their lips.


    "When you were possessed by the fallen, you collected a journal along with Lyn, correct?" he asked Morgan.


    She remembered and retrieved Kroeser''s journal from her pocket.


    To think, Azazel had figured out Kroeser was the Raven, and Morgan hadn''t. If only she had gone with her first instinct and beaten Kroeser to a pulp, Lyn wouldn''t be suffering.


    Morgan read the most recent entry aloud, which confirmed Samaal''s suspicions.


    "Lyn has inherited Cain''s curse. She needs to feed," he said flatly.


    Rowan and Morgan were reluctant to believe, but he slit his wrist to prove the point. Lyn woke to suckle Samaal''s arm like a babe at a tit. Samaal had to pry his hand away from the ravenous child by force. Already Lyn was remarkably strong.


    Lyn fell into her pillow and breathed deeply as color returned to her face. Then she sat up and smiled, waving happy hellos to Morgan and Rowan.


    Lyn''s recovery was miraculous, to Morgan''s horror and joy.


    But she was alive, and that''s what mattered. The rest could be figured out later.


    Morgan rushed forward to hug her little sister. Lyn was alive.


    Rowan was disturbed by the nature of Lyn''s recovery. The implications.


    The possibilities.


    But that would have to wait because the wedding was tomorrow.


    Adam Himself would soon arrive on Crescent to marry his loyal two subjects, Azazel the fallen, to Milo Meiori, Steward of the Vulpen Islands and traitor to his people.


    Morgan and Lyn had a few short days to share together, showing off their new magics and discovering a neat trick they could do when their powers combined.


    And they went over the plan. They knew the signal.


    Finally, the day arrived.


    The ceremony would be held in Church. The procession down the hill and through Harbor was the most humiliating experience of Morgan''s life.


    Morgan wore a flowing silk emerald wedding dress with a dark pink veil adorned with rose petals. She remained silent among countless guests and dignitaries, Stewards of the Vulpen Islands, who would all soon be answering to Milo Meiori.


    Rowan knew this would be a night to die for, relishing the role of Milo, traitor triumphant.


    Morgan never left "Milo''s" side, depending on him heavily throughout the day, but never looking directly at him, preserving the memory of his face as he was.


    In a grand open-air auditorium, an enormous mirror dominated the center stage of Church Grounds, so Godfather Adam could make an entrance, which He did with typical fanfare and thunderous applause from the clergy.


    Morgan was grateful that her veil concealed her expressions.


    The guests were seated.


    Godfather Adam addressed the crowd, speaking eloquent nonsense about loyalty and faith, and then He cued the music.


    "Milo Meiori" walked "Azazel the Fallen" down the aisle.


    Milo was the only person in the room who looked genuinely happy to be in attendance. Even his children looked glum.


    But Morgan''s entire life had been preparing for this moment.


    It was supposed to be Raf, she thought, silently crying behind her veil.


    Meanwhile, Rowan had obsessed over this moment for thirty years, Milo''s eyes wide with excitement.


    Their hearts pounded in their chests as they walked down the aisle, finally reaching the podium where Adam stood, resplendent as ever, adorned in all five Blessings. Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    But Adam wasn''t wearing the dragon scale that Morgan described, which meant Rafael''s soul was trapped somewhere else, with someone else.


    What game are the angels playing? Rowan wondered and then tried to focus.


    This is it.


    Just a little bit longer.


    Wait for it…


    Adam was talking about marriage and fidelity, but Morgan''s heart beat so loudly in her ears she could barely hear his words. She tried to focus. Her veil would be lifted soon, and she needed to act like Azazel.


    "… do you?"


    "I do," Milo said breathlessly.


    "... do you?"


    "I do," Morgan said in a flat monotone.


    "... I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."


    Milo lifted Morgan''s veil, and apart from the dried tear tracks, she looked appropriately bored.


    Milo leaned in to kiss her. Morgan froze, closed her eyes, and remembered the real Milo as the life left his face.


    Lips quickly touched, and then Milo turned to face Adam again.


    "Kneel," commanded Adam.


    Milo took a knee and looked up with excitement.


    Adam drew his Blessed Sword. He lowered the deadly instrument to tap Milo''s shoulder, dubbing him Steward of the Vulpen Islands.


    That was the moment.


    Not for millennia had there been a split second of such monumental significance. What followed would impact the future of every life on Eden and even beyond.


    Samaal struck. Using his shadow magic, he travelled through the ground and burst up from the shadows underneath Morgan''s dress, sending shadow blades to slice Adam into pieces.


    It happened so fast Adam didn''t have time to react, but He knew better than to leave Himself entirely vulnerable in such a public and ungodly corner of Eden. Most of Adam''s body was intangible, a power the metal feathers lining His Blessed Belt gifted Him.


    Consequently, most of the shadow blades drifted through Adam''s body like smoke, except for one. To tap Milo''s shoulder, Adam made tangible both His sword and the hand that held it, so one of Samaal''s shadow blades sliced Adam''s hand off at the wrist.


    Two Blessings fell, the Ivory Sword and Bone Gauntlet.


    In an instant, Samaal enveloped the Blessings in shadow and dashed behind Adam.


    A second that lasted an eternity passed as everyone processed what just happened. Adam looked at the bloody stump where His right hand used to be in dumb shock. Everyone was dead silent. The only sound made was the wet splash of Adam''s blood on the granite floor. Suddenly, He turned to face Samaal, who saw death in His eyes. Adam raised the Shell Gauntlet at Samaal.


    Rowan burst into fire and blasted flames at Adam''s face. It didn''t do Him any damage, but it did distract and infuriate Him, which was the point.


    Adam was fully intangible. Nothing they did could hurt him. They had already lost. But Samaal was so close to the mirror! He might still escape with the two Blessings and fight another day. And if Rowan died buying Samaal a few precious seconds, so be it.


    Adam turned in hate to obliterate Rowan, but Morgan wasn''t about to let that happen. She wrapped Rowan and herself in a hard light barrier and quickly pulled the barrier far away from Adam. As they flew up and backward, Morgan picked up Lyn and Hinata, securing them all in a bubble. Adam became unhinged. He screamed an insane screech and turned again to Samaal, who was already influencing the mirror with his shadow magic.


    Adam stumbled from blood loss but raised his left arm in time to throw a blast. Kinetic waves pulverized cracks into the granite floor and collided with Samaal and the mirror as he stepped through it. The blast threw him into the mirror. Samaal disappeared as the giant mirror shattered into pieces from the blast force.


    Everyone held their breath.


    Thinking quickly, Rowan instructed Lyn and Morgan to combine their magic. Using Morgan''s hard light constructs as a foundation, Lyn redirected the light waves around the bubble, rendering everyone inside it invisible.


    "Get us out of here," Rowan whispered to Morgan. "Can you carry us to Lona?"


    Morgan hesitated only an instant. Flying them all to the nearest island would be the longest use of her powers that she''d ever managed, but if she failed, they would all die, so she nodded once and flew them fast and far away.


    Adam, meanwhile, had snapped. In over six thousand years, He''d never been truly harmed before. He''d never seen His own blood pour out. He''d never felt the cold threat of His own mortality or known the frailty of His own heartbeat. He looked around at the grand auditorium, packed with His children. Hundreds of His children, who saw their Godfather bleed; who saw Him lose His holy relics; who saw Him fail; who saw Him fear death; who knew too much.


    He began to float, and as He floated, the Blessings in His Belt and left Gauntlet glowed horribly, and the stone beneath and around Him disintegrated, swirling into a molten hot ball in the air. Everything and everyone around Him, everywhere He looked, disintegrated to sand and mist.


    As the people in the audience realized what He was doing, they panicked and ran, but it wouldn''t matter. Adam waved his left arm, and the screaming stopped.


    When He was finished obliterating everything around Him, He gathered the dry particles and forced them into an enormous mass, molten hot from pressure and friction. Still floating midair, He molded the magma into the shape of a right hand and screamed in insane agony as the new molten prosthetic cauterized His bloody stump.


    He shivered and vomited. Taking a moment to recollect Himself, Adam stilled the molecules in His new arm, cooling it, settling the molten mass into a glorious diamond.


    Adam examined His new diamond hand, wiggled His fingers, touched His other hand, and made a fist.


    Finding it good, Adam returned to His task, that of genocide.


    He''d massacred His children countless times before. It should hardly affect Him so terribly, yet it did, every time, and this time more than ever.


    He cried in misery. He cried for His children He murdered, whose molecules now comprised His glorious hand. He looked up with tear-filled eyes of rage and hate and fear.


    His crown shined, and Adam erased any memory of the event from the aether. If anyone still lived to tell the world what He''d done… The whole island would have to go, He decided finally.


    He rose higher, and as He rose, His destruction bloomed. The entire Island of Crescent was erased before the sun set.


    When He found His work was good, and no trace of Crescent remained, He flew away, dispersing the clouds with a bang as He broke the sound barrier.


    December 2011 - End


    Your parents weren''t happy in Oklahoma.


    The house John had offered was, in truth, a small room, in a small office, in a little podunk town, miles from nowhere. They had few modern comforts, and yet again, Jude refused to work. So did Tandy, for that matter.


    That was a source of tension because John could scarcely provide for himself, let alone anyone else. John worked as a massage therapist and beautician in the same office he let Jude and Tandy live in.


    Before long, Jude and Tandy left for Missouri to live with Tandy''s mother, but her mother was an addict, and Tandy was trying to stay clean, so then they traveled to Washington to live with Patsy in Gramma Nora''s house. That lasted a couple months before they both said, "screw this," and came back to San Francisco.


    By that time, I was bartending on weekends, taking classes at CCSF on weekdays, living life, and having mind-blowing sex. I had even started hosting murder mystery parties at the house.


    The three of us were the hottest power couple of the moment.


    The boys and I usually went out to drag bars on weekends. We went to game nights at Totally Awesome! and found a groove that worked for all three of us.


    Then Jude and his family came back into my life.


    I told him you could all stay in the living room for a month, but not more. Oliver was wonderful and patient about it. It was fun having a baby in the house. I babysat while your parents ran errands.


    Eventually, your parents found housing, but it didn''t last.


    Jude continued to spiral. One night he came over. We were hanging out, talking about whatever, and somehow Mom came up in conversation. Jude exploded. He screamed Patsy was an evil bitch who deserved to die. Then he punched doors and banged his head against walls until he ran out of the house and into the night. I thought he was using again.


    Now I know it was something else. Something I should have known years before, but Jude never told me, and I never imagined it.


    One day, Tandy showed up at my house. You were in a stroller. We sat in the living room, where you took your first steps between the furniture.


    "Where''s Jude?" I asked finally. "What brings you over?"


    Tandy hesitated. It wasn''t like her to be anxious, but I could see she was agitated.


    "Jude''s in jail. We lost our housing because they caught us drinking. Then Jude set their mailbox on fire. The cops came and arrested him. I ran away just before they could… They''re gonna take my son from me." Tears filled her eyes.


    I didn''t respond at first. There was more that she wasn''t telling me, but I couldn''t force it out of her. "No, they''re not," I told her. "Because we won''t let them. You''re not responsible for Jude''s actions, and you can stay here for now. I''ll talk to the roommates and figure something out."


    She let out a full-body sigh of relief.


    "What the hell is going on with Jude? Why is he acting like this?" I demanded.


    Tandy looked away for a moment and then directly at me to say, "She fucked him."


    I was lost. "Huh?"


    "Your mom."


    "Fucked who?"


    "Jude. Your mom and Jude had sex."


    I stared at her for several seconds with a ringing in my ears. That''s absurd, I thought. No, they didn''t. Tandy must be making it up. But who would lie about something like that? And why? Why would Tandy lie? It didn''t make sense.


    "How do you know this?"


    "Jude told me."


    Again, I stared at her suspiciously, mouth agape.


    "I need to call my mom." I got up and left the room.


    At the time, Patsy and I were on speaking terms. I had forgiven her for her failings, her selfishness, her stupidity. I had forgiven her for failing me, Jude, and Morgan. She was a lazy, greedy narcissist, but I didn''t hold that against her anymore.


    So she answered when I called.


    "Hi, Sebastian! This is a nice surprise. What''s goin'' on?"


    "Hey, Mom. I have a question, and I just need an honest answer, okay?"


    "Okay…"


    "Did you and Jude have sex?"


    Dead silence for several seconds. Jesus Christ.


    "Where did you hear that?"


    "That''s not important. Did it happen?"


    Again, silence.


    "Sorta, kinda."


    "What does that mean, ''sorta, kinda?'' I need specifics."


    Irritated sigh. "How do you see this conversation ending, Sebastian?"


    "I dunno. Probably with us not speaking for a long time."


    She scoffed and hung up.


    I couldn''t move, sitting on my bed with the phone at my ear and a thousand-yard stare for I don''t know how long.


    When I finally walked out of my bedroom, it was like moving through a drunken daze or dense fog. Mundane things became important. Important things became mundane.


    Tandy was grateful to not carry the secret''s burden alone anymore. Meanwhile, I was wrecked emotionally, mentally, and even physically (I would break out in hives, acne, and allergies), but not for the first time, so I kept it together.


    Tandy and I talked for several hours. Then she asked me to watch you for a few weeks. She reasoned it would be easier to find a job and a place to live without a baby in tow. I said sure, and then she left you with me. Cops came and took you into Child Protective Services later that week. Tandy was arrested, and since you had no legal guardian, you fell into the foster system.


    I finally took stock of my life and realized I had made a mess of it.


    I was so preoccupied with boyfriends and trying to be popular that I had done nothing as my brother spiraled. Getting drunk every weekend. Picking up random hotties for orgies again and again and again. What was the point? Where did it bring me?


    Jude had been drowning, all while I was fucking the lifeguard.


    The people I had been chasing, their love and approval, it all left me empty.


    I got what I wanted. It cost me the only family I had left.


    I decided to adopt you.


    A public attorney was appointed to your case, a kind man named Matthew, and he helped me get visitation privileges. It took weeks. Government bureaucracy is always slow, and child settlement cases are particularly so, but I finally got to see you. Your foster mom was a wonderful Black woman who gave you big booby hugs. Our visits were supervised, but I saw you every week. You seemed happy.


    I''m sorry to say neither of your parents visited. I think they lost faith in themselves when they lost you. But Tandy had one last card to play. She called her father and asked for his help in getting you back. It didn''t work out the way she had hoped. Her father got custody of you.


    Sorry for spoiling, but you know how this story ends. Tandy''s father fought me for custody for over a year. We went to court so many times I lost count.


    Your CPS caseworker didn''t like me. CPS, in general thought, I was too young and too unconventional. Jude''s continuing erratic behavior didn''t help my image, either. They suspected I was secretly (or not so secretly, depending on your perspective) a fuck-up.


    I was naive to ever think I stood a chance. Tandy''s parents had been working the same job and living in the same house for as long as I''d been alive. I was a 22-year-old fag without a college degree, renting in one of the most expensive cities in the world. Of course, the judge made the conservative choice.


    But I wouldn''t know that for almost a year. So I changed myself and my life to better accommodate CPS and the courts. I stopped working at the Golden Cow and got a job working for Dante at Totally Awesome!


    Dante and I had reconnected over many, many games of Magic, so when he needed a new cashier, I stepped in. Turns out I love board games, and I''m pretty darn good at Magic: the Gathering. I spent more and more time at the store. Eventually, Dante and I began an affair.


    Oliver and August weren''t on board with fatherhood, and they both wanted to drop acid at Burning Man, so I broke up with them and moved in with Dante, figuring a traditional dyad with a business owner might present a more compelling family picture.


    It took months to get Dante over to my way of thinking, but eventually, we earned unsupervised weekend stayovers, converting Dante''s guest room into a nursery. A CPS worker came and inspected the apartment and gave us the go-ahead, and for the last couple months, you lived with us in our home. I''d never been happier. I really believed it was possible that I could salvage a family from all the pain and loss, but I failed. I failed you. I failed Jude. It eats at me constantly, like grief. I am so sorry.


    At the final placement hearing, Jude showed up late. He was disruptive, and his testimony was incomprehensible. It didn''t help my case that I was sitting behind him.


    The judge ruled you would be sent to Missouri to live with Tandy''s parents.


    Jude couldn''t understand the ruling. He had decided he would get custody of you. His testimony was quite certain on that point. So it came as rather a shock to him when things didn''t work out that way.


    I bought him a burrito after court.


    I told him I love him.


    I told him it wasn''t his fault.


    I didn''t ask questions because I already knew everything I needed to know.


    He was a minor.


    She was giving him mind-altering substances.


    I told him it wasn''t his fault.


    I told him I love him.


    I told him I will always have his back, no matter what he does.


    But I''m angry.


    I''m angry he lied to me. I''m angry he didn''t trust me with this secret.


    I''m angry he abandoned you to the foster system.


    I''m angry he abandoned me by destroying himself.


    I told him I love him.


    I will always love him, no matter what.


    But I can''t save him. I can''t follow where he''s gone.


    I won''t devote my life trying to save someone from themself.


    He has to save himself.


    I told him I love him.


    And then I told him goodbye.


    I''m glossing over so much. Sorry but I don''t want to linger here.


    CPS came. I strapped you into their car seat and said goodbye. Just like I did for Connor and Carrie in Montana. And that was the last time I saw you.


    I stayed in bed for days after that. Dante and I fought. I don''t remember why or over what. But I left him, too. Just like I left countless people before him.


    And then I left San Francisco.


    I had changed everything about myself to try to be a father, and when I couldn''t be that anymore, I didn''t know who I was. I couldn''t go back to the man I''d been. That man was selfish. He was a failure. He let everyone down. I had to be someone new, somewhere else, and there was only one place I could think to go.


    With my suitcase in one hand and my spiral ring notebook in the other, I went to the San Francisco Greyhound Station and told the attendant, "I''m here to pick up a ticket to Oklahoma City."