Staring nkly at Jason for what felt like an eternity. Estre finally blinked back tears and offered him
a cold, hollow smile. “Jason, we’re square,’ she said, her voice tinged with a
frosty edge.
All the fights she’d stood by him in, the homework she’d done for him, everything… It had alle
crashing down with that one p
After she spoke, she brushed past Jason, leaving him behind as tears streamed uncontrobly down
her cheeks. Neen years of knowing him, and this was the culmination. She had to watch him be
with someone else and feel the sting of his hand
across her face.
Estre was never one to start trouble or throw around harsh words. She was always more inclined to
talk things out and negotiate. But sometimes, we must admit, our circumstances and those around us
drive us to the brink of madness.
People push you to say things you’d never want to say and do things you never thought you’d do, to
the point where you might not even recognize yourself in the mirror or feel like you’re on the verge of
breaking.
If Jason hadn’t shoved her that day, if he hadn’t grabbed her face so harshly and interrogated her with
such icy detachment, she wouldn’t have exploded in anger and said those things.
If he hadn’te to her and had that fight, if she hadn’t felt the burn of his p…
But life is devoid of ‘ifs,’ and what’s done is done.
Sometimes, all we need is a hug and a few understanding words, and everything could be
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different.
Overwhelmed by memories, Estre gazed out at the moon and touched her cheek, still feeling the
heat of the p. So much so that the memory of it still felt hot and painful, as did the memory of her
back hitting the rails. She knew she could never get close to Jason again after that.
Unbeknownst to her, disaster struck when Holly was caught in a terrible fire and didn’t make it through
the surgery. She certainly didn’t expect the soothsayers toe out of the woodwork with their
ominous predictions, nor did she anticipate that his family woulde knocking for a marriage
proposal, and least of all, Jason would agree to it.
Looking back, she thought maybe he agreed to the marriage to torture them both, to ensure neither
could swallow their pride.
Eventually, buckling under her parents’ pressure, she agreed to the marriage. She had thought that
maybe with a little effort, or if they both tried just a bit harder, they could get through life, turning a blind
eye to their problems. But Jason wasn’t on the same page. He
08:52
seemed to revel in making her miserable.
Recently, however, he seemed to have had a change of heart and wasing home more often.
Perhaps the Nelson family had exerted dome pressure, as he’d said himself – a divorce would benefit
neither of their families.
Estre sighed deeply and withdrew her gaze from the window, looking down at the diamond ring on
her finger. She tried to remove it but couldn’t. After a few attempts, she
gave up.
Turning her attention to the master bedroom, she realized she and Jason were the epitome of being in
the same bed with different dreams.
She gathered her clothes around her and was about to head back to her room when the door to the
study suddenly opened.
Jason appeared.
With a smile, Estre greeted him, “You’re up too?”
Jason, noticing her bare feet, asked, “Why aren’t you wearing shoes?”
Estre nced at the rack with a couple of spare slippers and slipped a pair on.
Jason walked over, and Estre turned back to the window, murmuring, “Couldn’t sleep.”
He stood beside her, nced out the window, then back at her, noticing the reddish mark around her
ring finger. He knew without asking that she had tried to remove the ring but hadn’t seeded.
Estre caught his gaze on her hand and offered a light-hearted exnation, “I’ve gained weight. It
doesn’t fit as well.”
Jason remained silent, not sharing that he had designed the ring to be easy to put on but hard to take
off. He understood that despite Estre’s outwardposure, she was deeply affected by the past,
especially the p. Some things, once done, cannot be undone. They leave scars and create distance.
As they argued more over time, Estre’s heart grew numb, but nothingpared to the pain of that
first p. Her patience and affection seemed to have been eroded by the constant back-and-forth, the
relentless arguments.
After a long silence, Jason asked, “Something on your mind?”
Estre forced a smile, “Just an old dream. Feels like it happened in another lifetime.” But the hurdle
remained unjumpable.
Jason probably guessed what the dream had been about. Otherwise, she wouldn’t havee to the
study alone.
The silence resumed, and Estre, looking at the moon, said bluntly, “That shove of yours
08:52 m
hurt like hell. I ended up with internal bleeding.
Jason’s heart skipped a beat, realizing the severity of his past actions.
Without another word, Estre turned to him and said, I’m going to bed.”
That night, Estre had wanted to talk to Jason about their future, but the dream made her reconsider.
Whether they could make it to the end or what sort of rtionship they’d have didn’t seem to matter
anymore.
Every day, so many couples divorce. It wouldn’t be strange if they didn’t make it. There were countless
couples who stayed together, but how many didn’t fight or harbor resentment? How many weren’t living
separate lives under one roof?
At that moment, Estre understood she was just another person in the vast sea of humanity. Her life
was subject to the same strife and entanglements as everyone else’s.
As she approached her twenty-fourth birthday, Estre saw many things more clearly and
of her need for control. Love and marriage were all the same in the end.
let go
Jason spun around and grabbed her hand. Estre’s fingers were icy to the touch, the chill seeming to
emanate from her very bones.
Their eyes locked, and Jason tried to speak, to say something to Estre, but the words faltered on his
lips. With Holly gone, exnations seemed meaningless.
?
The silence lingered until Estre sneezed, prompting Jason to finally let go of her hand.
Estre chuckled, “Aren’t you going to bed?”
Jason replied simply, “Yeah.”
Once they returned to the bedroom andy down, Jason instinctively pulled Estre into an embrace.
She didn’t resist. Instead, she snuggled closer to him, seeking the warmth from his body.
Life, it seemed, was all about the performance
After a quiet interlude, Jason finally broke the silence. He said softly, “Estre, I’m sorry. No matter
what, I shouldn’t have pushed you. I shouldn’t have pped you.”