Chapter 285 Helpless


    But Tasha made no attempts to apologize. After all, an apology wouldn''t change a thing. It would be


    pointless.


    And now, she sat, not uttering a single word.


    The only thing Tasha could do was cry. Tears continued to slide down her chin. All the bottled up


    emotions she felt began to get expressed in the form of tears.


    Jacob held Sara in his arms. Even though she kept saying something hurtful to her mother, Jacob knew


    that was not what she really wanted to say. Otherwise, she wouldn''t have shed tears for her mother.


    "Are you hungry? I will take you out for lunch," he whispered in Sara''s ear. Jacob knew how to deal


    with the present situation. He had noticed a shift in the atmosphere.


    The resentment Carlos and Sara felt had disappeared.


    "Yes. I am not hungry but we should go out for a walk," Sara said,posing herself. Her father and


    mother had been separated from each other for many years. She knew they needed to talk in private. It


    wasn''t nice to disturb their privacy.


    Jacob put his arm around Sara''s shoulder and together they headed out of the ward. Once outside,


    Sara felt calm and stopped crying. The depressing atmosphere of the ward was left behind. Instead of


    talking, she stared nkly at the long corridor of the hospital. Restlessness clutched her.


    Her thoughts were in a tumult. She knew this was just the beginning, not the end. Her father and she


    had a long way to go. For some reason, this thought brought her difort.


    As Sara was immersed in these thoughts, Jacob followed her silently. He knew he couldn''t do anything


    to dispel her sadness. But for Sara, hispanionship was more than enough.


    She walked at a snail''s pace as if the mere act of walking required a lot of effort. Jacob didn''tin.


    Being someone who was used to walking fast, he had a hard time slowing himself down. He hoped she


    was feeling better.


    Not wanting to disturb her thoughts, he didn''t speak.


    Once they were out of the hospital, Sara heaved a sigh of relief. Even now, she didn''t speed up. She


    continued to take slow steps, like this road would never end.


    "When she left, I thought I would never see her again. There was a part that hoped she would return to


    us, regretting her decision. But as years went by, I realized I was being stupid. And now that she is


    finally here, I can''t help but think I''m dreaming it."


    Overwhelmed by strong emotions, she lowered her head. She was talking to herself more than to


    Jacob.


    Knowing she was going through a hard time, Jacob simply listened to her. The more she spoke, the


    more his heart ached.


    "If she hadn''te back, I would have imagined she is leading a good life. But now that she is here


    with cancer, I feel pathetic."


    She indeed felt terrible about the whole thing. However, when she spoke, her face was bereft of


    expression. There were many passers-by, but Sara took no notice of them.


    Everything else held no significance to her. At present, she was drowning in pain. She was thinking


    about the tragedy her family was facing.


    She cursed her destiny for the life she had. Sara had shunned her mother out of her life. The day


    Tasha left home in the rain, she was gone out of their lives.


    "When I was a child, I always dreaded parent-teacher''s meeting. Other mothers made it a point to


    apany their children. Their fathers seldom came. In my case, it was different. It was my father who


    always attended these meetings. Sometimes when my father was too busy, I had to go alone. I sat


    there all alone, watching other children talk andugh with their mothers. It was one of the most painful


    moments."


    She stopped talking. Like a maniac, she let out augh. She wasughing at her tragic life. This world


    was filled with miserable people. And today it dawned on her she was one of those people.


    Her thoughts went to her father. He, like her, was miserable too. She thought about his life. ''Did he


    want to run apany? Or did his heart contain some other ambition?'' she thought and shook her


    head. From what she knew, he wasn''t the kind of man who had any dreams. He simply led a life doing


    what others expected him to do.


    As a result, Carlos had no free will. He perhaps spent all his life thinking about the day Tasha left him.


    "My mother has been out of our lives for more than ten years. I know my father. All these years he was


    waiting for her to return. When she left us, we thought she was perhaps angry with us and wanted a


    break. However, as days passed, we realized this wasn''t temporary. She had no intention of returning.


    We understood she had no love for us."


    A sob escaped her. She had never spoken about these pains before. Keeping a secret within oneself


    was quite difficult. But uncovering the wound and opening up one''s life was even harder.


    She had exposed all her wounds, not intending to make another person understand her, but hoping


    that could let herself understand reality was indeed cruel and she had no choice but to ept it.


    After a short pause, she willed herself to speak. "One day I told myself that if she didn''t return, I would


    consider her dead. But she''s back now. If she is already dead to me, why is it so hard for me to watch


    her die? She had hurt us more than anyone could ever hurt us. In spite of all this, my heart aches for


    her. She is still my mother and I want the best for her."


    Lowering her head, a dejected look entered her face. Her position was difficult but there was someone


    else who had it worse. It was her father. How could he bear such a huge loss?


    Her father looked strong on the exterior. People assumed he was doing fine. But only Sara knew how


    much he suffered. He had been unhappy all these years.


    Walking along the road, she finally took a look at the people. Some, she noted, were quite sad whereas


    others had a wide smile stered on their faces. ''Why is it so difficult for me to be happy?''


    She heaved a sigh. She knew life wasn''t easy for anyone. Everybody had their share of troubles. It


    wasn''t the present trouble that scared most people. Instead, people worried one trouble after another


    would attack them. Most people couldn''t stand pain for a long time. Once it became unbearable, they


    would give up.


    Sara was worried for her father more than her mother. He deserved to be happy.


    Her mother had once again entered their lives.


    The worst part was, she couldn''t ask her to leave nor could she ask her father to stop caring. Sara had


    never felt so helpless before. When she was a child, her mother left her. And now, she had returned. ''I


    have no say in anything, '' she thought.


    Her mother had made a choice ten years ago. And now, it was her father''s turn to make one. Sara


    could only wait to hear what he had to say. For some reason, she knew no matter what happened, at


    the end of the day both the parties would end up hurt.


    "Hey, listen to me. I think your mother is regretting her past decisions. Under the circumstance, we


    should be more tolerant. Her illness is hurting her already, we need to keep our rage in check,"


    Jacob said in a gentle voice.


    "Well, she better be regretting. I hope she doesn''t think we are obliged to take care of her. She is my


    mother but she hasn''t done anything to deserve that title. And don''t worry. I am not her. I won''t run


    away from my obligations."


    She let out a sigh, tired of everything that was happening in her life. Although she was fulfilling her


    duties, it was no easy task. It brimmed her heart with sadness.


    "Would you like to eat something?" Jacob asked in a low voice. He had taken her out for lunch but Sara


    seemed to have no appetite.


    "I am not hungry. Let''s just keep walking. We are always in a hurry and often fail to take out a few


    minutes to enjoy the beautiful scenery."


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    All sorts of emotions were welling up inside her. Everything around her seemed normal. Nature wasn''t


    suffering like she was. And for some reason, she found respite in its calmness.


    Jacob made no reply. Instead, he followed her silently. Seeing Sara look so miserable, he had no


    appetite either.


    "There is a part of me that believes my mother''s condition is hopeless. However, I am ovee by an


    urge to save her. What can I do about her illness? And my father!" Sara faltered, thinking about her


    father. "He seems so miserable and there is nothing I can do," she added sadly.