Chapter 98


    I unload my clothes from my bag into my wardrobe, alone in my bedroom while Jenny and Christian are


    being shown to guest rooms downstairs, after a less stressful drive from the airport. Jake had two cars


    waiting for us uponnding; thankfully Arrick went with his brother and Nate in the other car and left us


    three to head to my parents” home in peace. My head and heart still reeling with the after-effects of


    being so near him for that journey. I just feel drained, uptight and antsy, like I am all out of whack and I


    can’t get my act together. I need some cooling off time to breathe and ept the fact that YES, that


    asshole still fucks me up whether I like it or not.


    Whether he deserves it to or not!


    I’m taking some time out after being weed home by my mom and dad, getting my head together


    after seeing him again. I must admit, I need this more than I thought I would. Being around him still


    hurts more than it should, part of me aching for how we used to be and hating the distance between us


    now, despite everything.


    I hate how much I still miss him, even after months of not seeing him. Time has not eased the severity


    of my pain or longing. It’s not getting any easier. If anything, the depth of how much I miss him has only


    worsened, the longer it’s been. I hoped this would eventually get better, not worse, and seeing him is


    torture.


    I hate that I am this pathetic, that despite the pep talks, thete-night tears until I fall asleep and the


    willingness to just hate him. I can’t. There is too much that he did for me in my past that still lingers too


    close to my heart.


    He took me under his wing, introduced me to his friends and his lifestyle. He sheltered me from


    everyone and let me use him as a human shield whenever I needed one. He lifted my mood when I


    couldn’t get out of bed and he brought me movies and hugs when I was sick. Even when he left for


    trips or college, he never broke contact. He always came home, and I was always the first person he


    came to see. Always with some sort of gift from his absence, a trinket, or a keepsake, or one of the ten


    million stuffed unicorns I own.


    Then in one fell swoop, he became someone I didn’t know, who threw all that in my face and turned his


    back on me. I don’t get how he could have turned out to be the best thing in my life, to the absolute


    worst, in one change of feelings. I never thought he would be the one to deliver the blow to my heart


    that couldpletely ruin me. I guess I should have learned a long time ago, that in the end, everyone


    you let in ultimately hurts you. The only person you can rely on is yourself.


    I finish hanging up my clothes and wander to my en-suite to run a bath. I need to unwind before dinner


    with my family, Jenny, and Christian. Le wants to meet my besties before her party and I don’t really


    want to face anyone until I am more able to carry on this ruse, that Arry and I are how we have always


    been, with all of them. No one knows, no one suspects anything, and I hope at the party it won’t be


    obvious that we no longer talk.


    It will break my parents” hearts to know I have lost the one person in my life who held me together for


    years. I don’t want to tell them, don’t want them to hate him or feel sorry for me. I want everyone to


    assume that life is normal, fine, and rosy, and it’s so much easier to never bring him up when they


    come to the city. They all just assume we are still hanging out.


    I want to pamper and beautify myself for my grand entrance at my sister’s party tomorrow, show


    everyone how far I havee in such a brief time, and act like everything is alright.


    ***


    “So, you’re not dating either of them then?” Le looks pointedly at Christian across the table, waving


    her fork with that crazy narrowed gaze. Christian smiles sassily, perched between Jenny and me at my


    parents dinner table and gives a little shrug. Everyone looking his way as dinner has started to get


    underway with the first bout of sisterly interrogation. We have barely had time to get our starter down


    our necks and she is on his ass. Completely predictable Le.


    “I know, I am a total demon, right? Two beautiful and ssy women on my arm and neither one floats


    my boat. Wrong sex sweetie.” Christian raises an eyebrow and then dives into his soup, smiling like the


    cat that got the cream and Le turns her attention to Jenny, looking a little unimpressed. Up until she


    met him face to face, I think she harbored hopes he was husband material for her problematic kid


    sister.


    “Okay … so then, your boyfriend is … ?” Le is trying to suss out from our conversations how


    everyone fits together and being tantly rude about it. Looking at Jenny as though she better answer


    or the offensive fork she’s waving around may be jammed in her eye.


    “Mark, we have been dating for almost two years. He doesn’t go to school with us; he is a chef and


    works in a hotel kitchen.” Jenny blushes, hating that all eyes are on her now and getting increasingly


    ufortable. She squirms in her seat, dropping her chin to hide behind her bangs and concentrates


    on pushing her soup around with her spoon. I throw her a supportive smile, squeeze her shoulder and


    rub it a little as if to say “ignore my psycho sister.”


    This is just Le being Le.


    “And you?” Le is back on me, unsurprisingly. I knew she was only working her way to me as mom


    told her to stop singling me out when she arrived. She has been wheedling her way towards me again


    from that moment.


    This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    “Yes, Leelou?” I throw her that “what now” look that she adores … Not.


    I am in no way intimated by Miss. Bossy Pants. and her need to demand Intel at the slightest drop of a


    hat. I only saw her two weeks ago, nothing much has happened in such a short space of time to be


    interested in.


    “I’ll beat you if you use that name again. Still no man? Still not dating? What about that cute guy that


    Mom said lives down the hall?” She blinks at me seriously, clearly thinking she is somehow


    commanding an action just by bringing it up. I don’t even know why they are all so obsessed with me


    settling down with a guy. From what I have seen, they are a lot more hassle than they are worth.


    “Mom, really? You told Le there was a cute guy? What are you? Twelve?” I throw my gaze at her


    usingly and she giggles innocently. My mom, who may be old as the hills now, can be incredibly


    girlish and juvenile at times. Joey is young enough to be her son, yet that clearly didn’t stop her


    checking him out.


    E.


    “He was very cute for a young man, and he held the door for us when we were arriving. Lovely boy,


    said he was your neighbor.” My mom smiles sweetly, and I catch my dad rolling his eyes in a teen girl


    kind of way. Luckily for her, he knows my mom is a shameless man admirer and would never do


    anything other than ogle. Faultlessly loyal and she does adore my father to death.


    “Pretty sure you probably interrogated him, much like she’s doing now. It was probably Joey and, no,


    not dating him and don’t want to.” I pout, going back to dunking my bread roll in my starter and stuffing


    my face with all thedylike manners of an ape, ignoring the inquisitive sisterly eyes is my best n.


    “Sadly!” Christian sighs and gives me that “you arepletely hopeless child” look, he has perfected


    from watching the little mermaid one too many times. I know he thinks it’s cute and Sebastian is


    currently his obsession, but it’s in weird.


    “Get your panda eyes off me. You date him if you like him so much.” I throw my napkin at him and my


    father gives me the “behave” look. Christian throws it back with a challenging grin. Not phased at all by


    my dad’s attempts at being the head of the table.


    “So, Sophie, how’s school?” Daniel cuts in, being the man of the moment and saving our family from


    ourselves, like he always does. He puts a hand on Le’s shoulder and gives her a little squeeze,


    which I know is Daniel talk for y easy on her for tonight.” He’s about the only human in existence that


    can control that rabid beast, sometimes.


    Le has been circling aggressively since I got here. I don’t know what’s with her. I hope to God she’s


    not pregnant again, but all the signs are there. Irrational moods and weird sporadic tears, aggressive


    behavior, and the questioning, like she belongs in the Gestapo. If I see her eat anything with cream,


    then I will buy her the damn test myself. She hates cream, milk, dairy, anything like that, yet pregnant


    she lives on it. Biggest neon sign ever and I eye up her te with serious doubt. Nothing creamy on


    show.


    If there is a God above, then please do not let her fall pregnant while I am nearby.


    It’s not that I wouldn’t like my sister to have more kids, it’s just, Le is awful when pregnant and to be


    fair, as a mother she is kind of terrifying. Unlike Emma with her earth momma vibe and gentle nature;


    Le is a hot mess who runs her twins to school in her pajamas and hair rollers. She drinks way too


    much wine when her kids are driving her insane, and as both boys have ADHD and are the most hyper


    kids known to man, I can hardly me her.


    She loves the convenience of microwaves and had to hire a cook to make sure they had a decent diet,


    yet she loves to fuel them on anything that shuts them up. Even if that’s daily soda and chips when


    Daniel isn’t looking. Pregnant she hates everyone, everything, breathes fire, and makes everyone


    suffer along with her. I don’t get how Daniel survives at all.


    “Good. I love it and I really feel like I have found my calling in life.” I smile gently at him. I love Daniel.


    For a guy who used to be onedy killing, party boy, with serious sex addiction, he turned out to be the


    best thing that ever happened to my sister and he clearly adores her. He is the calm to her wild, the


    serene to her crazy, and he knows just how to handle her.


    “She’s amazing, you should see the portfolio she is building. I think we have the next big thing on our


    hands.” Jenny beams: far morefortable in talking about others than herself, and she smiles with


    pride at me. She reminds me of that girl next door stereotypes in movies, who always turn out to be the


    cute girl at the end who gets the hot man.


    “I think both of you are equally talented, we work well the three of us. Different strengths, different


    characters and we sort of merge to make one amazing team.” Iugh when Christian fans himself a


    little dramatically. Jennyughing along with me and nudging him yfully.


    “But I, of course, bring all the pizazz.” He beams at us, fluttering those annoyingly dark longshes and


    looking all coquettish.


    “True!” Both Jenny and I say in unison and then giggle. I catch Daniel eyeing me warily; I can almost


    sense that little mind working away behind brown eyes. I give him an intense narrowed look and get


    that Daniel Hunter special smile. The “I know what’s going on” cheeky glint that Le usually hates him


    for.


    “I would love it more if you had a nice fe toe home to every night. Is Arry still keeping an eye on


    you? The city isn’t safe for single girls anymore, Sophs.” Le carries on, digging into another round of


    bread with relish and I seriously revisit the pregnancy thing. She isn’t normally a big eater. I catch


    Daniel frowning her way too and wonder if he is thinking the same thing as she demolishes her third


    bread roll.


    “I don’t need Arrick to take care of me anymore; pretty sure he has enough women to be taking care of


    nowadays.” I snap a little too hastily, the interrogating eyes on me and curse myself at myck of


    control. I need to learn not to react whenever he is the subject.


    “Meaning?” Le is full boar staring at me now. Most of the quiet chit chat around us falls away as


    everyone listens in with interest. I guess the sudden silence is the moment of bated breath where they


    all sit astonished that I am no longer the puppy dog trailing Arrick Carrero.


    “He has a life and a woman. We just don’t see each other much now, we’re both so busy.” I lie expertly.


    Deflecting wlessly with a raised brow and air of nonchnce.


    “But she has us, I live nearby, and Jenny is three blocks further out, and were never away from her


    side.” Christian cuts in. Savior that I adore and knowing how to sidetrack the interrogator faultlessly.


    “It’s not like him to not be around as much? Have you two had a fight?” Le has her eyes on me,


    homed in, and scrutinizing me. Almost like that little bloodhound side to her paranoid personality is


    suddenly sniffing something out, and I steady my breath to appear unaffected.


    “No. Can we stop talking about him, please? I’m sure I can have a life that doesn’t revolve around him,


    and it had to happen one day … you know, growing up, moving on. I can’t live in his shadow forever.” I


    keep my voice deadpan, nerves steady and concentrate on funneling soup into my mouth carefully.


    Precision perfect.


    “Arrick’s a busy man, babes. I’m sure he is still looking out for her in every way, like he always did.”


    Daniel cuts in, throwing me an unreadable look, he clearly knows full well that Arrick is no longer in my


    life. Jake is his best friend and that makes Arry one too. His choice not to tell my sister, however,


    baffles me. But then I guess he is just looking out for me, knowing fine well she would demand Ie


    back home without my eternal fucking guardian. Like little Sophie is incapable of surviving in life without


    his ever-looming presence to make sure I don’t fuck it all up.


    Figures!


    “We just saw himst week. Complete sweetheart.” Christian smiles softly, deviously vague and


    curbing more suspicion.


    “Right. And he has that girlfriend, Natasha, to be caring for too, it’s not down to him to be solely


    responsible for our girl. She’s got to learn to do it solo.” My dad cuts in and I tense, anger bubbling at


    the mention of her while Le is riling my nerves. Suddenly ultra-touchy with this subject when I know


    the source of my heartache is less than a hundred feet away at his parents” house tonight. This is why I


    have avoided family dinners, where everyone gets toe together to focus on me.


    “Nice girl … never really seen the connection though, she’s a bit … I don’t know … nd. A bit quiet


    and tame, for our Arry.” My mom is frowning my way as if she expects me to have some sort of input


    and I frown hard back at her.


    “Lame more like.” Le mutters and for once I find myself smiling at her impulsively. I always knew she


    was lukewarm to the other girl, but she has never actually openly insulted her in front of me before.


    “Le!” My mother scolds, giving her a stern maternal look of displeasure.


    “She’s a very sweet youngdy and seems like a genuine homely person. She is always very polite


    and well mannered.” She adds with a gentler tone that doesn’t seem all that genuine, and I start to


    wonder how long I have been oblivious to my family’s distinctck of affection for the girl Arrick has


    been bringing home for two years.


    When did this happen?


    “Againme. I can understand someone like Rnne hooking up with a Natasha, I mean he is all for a


    1950”s housewife who wants to stay home barefoot and pregnant, that’s why he is dating Brie, but


    never a Carrero. Definitely not Arrick!” Le’s stuffing her face with more bread and throws me an odd


    look that gets a t response. I won’t be goaded into a reaction that betrays anything. My friends have


    fallen silent and eating to deflect attention and my face is ming. Hoping they all drop this topic soon.


    As interested as I am to hear they don’t all adore her, I am not relishing his name being passed around


    or his rtionship analyzed when all I want to do is forget him.


    “Arrick clearly likes her, so I guess it’s none of our business!” I point out steadily. I catch Daniel


    frowning at me for a moment before he clears his throat and looks away, it’s an odd moment but I let it


    slide. Not sure what to make of it.


    “True. Everyone gets to make their own choices in life. Even if they are the wrong ones.” Daniel cuts in,


    sighing heavily and sitting back casually. He rubs his t stomach and stretches, seemingly bored with


    how this conversation is going and finished with his starter. He has always beenpletely


    comfortable at my family table. Le throws him a sarcastic look, reminding him of all his wrong choices


    in their past and he just hits her with an award-winning smile and swoops in to kiss her on the mouth. A


    quick chaste peck that makes her soften visually.


    Still weak for him then. Kinda cute, yet also gross.


    “Talking of which, where are the rest of them? Surely everyone ising to the party tomorrow?” I look


    at my mom and then Le, wondering why my brothers get to escape this unbearable dinner tonight.


    Family tradition dictates we all have to be here on the eve of Le’s smash-up and I could have used


    the numbers to avoid this strained topic.


    “They are all arriving at different points throughout the day tomorrow. Life Sophs, kids, jobs …


    everyone will be here for the party.” My dad frowns, motioning for the housekeeper to start removing


    tes for the next course. I watch Le almost wrestle the bread te from her angrily.


    “Except the kids … I told you, Mom. No kids this year. I n to getpletely ddered, dance up a


    storm and have a kid-free night and no children will be ruining our buzz.” Le growls at the


    housekeeper who puts the bread te back on the table like a feral beast protecting her babies.


    “My sweet maternal little wife.” Daniel rolls his eyes, but my mom smiles patiently, used to the diva in


    her and her not so maternal demands.


    “Yes, Le, we all know. I made sure to inform all guests that this is a child-free affair. We have a kid’s


    get together for everyone on Sunday afternoon.” My mom tries to smooth her ruffled feathers with a


    warm tone and gentle smile.


    “Should have made that Monday, Mom. Hangovers can be an all-day thing when you’re an alcoholic


    like Leelou.” I smirk her way and catch the evil re.


    “Shut up or I’ll impale you with my breadknife.” She sounds deadly serious and holds up a rather long


    and sharp implement that she has swiped from the bread te in the center. Daniel leans in smoothly


    and removes it from her fingers, handing it off to the passing housekeeper with a grateful smile. Le


    res at him coldly.


    “I agree though. Hangovers and family fun days do not mix. Le is like a beast the day after a party.”


    Daniel concedes, giving my sister an eyebrow wiggle that breaks that icy look to a softer almost


    grudged smile and my mom sighs heavily.


    “Sunday is the only day they will all be staying until. People have lives for goodness” sake, and I want


    to see all my babies and grandbabies in one ce before you all leave again.” She seems close to


    tears, deted at her ruined ns.


    “I don’t have kids and I will be on a flight home Sunday afternoon, Mom.” I shrug unapologetically. I do


    not want to be around for that little get together with a hangover. Screaming kids and arguing family is


    my idea of a hangover nightmare and I could never subject Christian and Jenny to that mess.


    “I don’t know why I bother sometimes, I really don’t.” My mom huffs and sighs as my dad pats her hand


    sympathetically. Giving her a tender smile that seems to perk her up.


    “I n on staying in bed till Monday.” Le ruins it with that little exmation, in diva mode, with a


    spoiled brat tone.


    “I’ll bring the kids. Don’t worry about it, we have Christmasing in a few months and you know that’s


    a week-long family get together.” Daniel is trying to be the savior once more, my poor momma gripping


    on with her fingertips to her dream reunion.


    “Because that’s something to look forward to.” I roll my eyes sarcastically and thenugh when Le


    throws her bread at me and sends my mom into scolding overdrive.