Chapter 96


    “No Christian.” I haul out the sexy dress from my case for the third time and throw it back on the bed.


    He borrowed it from a senior, after a runway show they put on days ago, and I am not impressed with


    his choice of dress for me at my sister’s party.


    “He will literally have his eyes pop out of his head if you wear this.” He smirks, holding up a scrap of


    cloth and sashaying around my bedroom like a movie star, molding it against him.


    “I think most of me will be popping out in this. He’s seen me in various forms of skimpy clothing, and


    trust me, it does nothing for him. I know him, Chris, this will just make him think I’ve gone back to


    slumming it with sleazy men and backstreet nightclubs. Not that I even care about making an


    impression on him, so really, it’s not needed.” I swipe the dress from him and throw it away, over the


    bed this time. ring sternly, trying to make him stop interfering.


    Ever since he met him, he has not stop tried to goad me into yground tactics and far-flung ideas on


    Arrick being jealous or heartbroken without me. If any of that were true, he would have contacted me in


    thest few days, and he hasn’t.


    Or in thest three months!


    “Of course, you don’t, that’s why you have spent thest two days obsessively trying on dresses and


    makeup looks for a seemingly innocent family gathering.” He smirks at me with a knowing brow lift and


    a sassy twinkle in his eye and my temper bites.


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    “Fuck off.” I wave him away as hees to start snooping in my case again, infuriatingly. “Don’t you


    have a boyfriend you should be kissing goodbye right now? Jake has the car picking us up in an hour


    for the flight home.” I shove him away by the face as he starts messing with myce lingerie in the


    open bag. Christian sighs and throws himself on the bed dramatically, adopting the Hollywood pose of


    distraught heroine with a palm on his forehead while making loud, weird noises that I’m sure are meant


    to represent misery.


    “I already gave him the customary kiss and fuck, he’s off ying straight tonight while he meets his


    father in the city.” His boyfriend’s double life is a huge sore point in Christian’s and James’s


    rtionship. Christian figures that all parents are as easy as his when ites to announcing one’s


    sexuality and cannot empathies at all for anything different.


    “Well go pick up Jenny, she should have been here by now, So we can all have a little chill-out drink


    before I need to get on a ne with you know who.” Jake sprung it on me less than an hour ago that


    Arrick and Nathan will be joining us on the flight home to the Hamptons. Something Arrick rarely did


    was fly, and I don’t know how to feel about this. Jake’s been at the office sorting issues out, despite


    taking a break to help Emma with their new baby and is adamant we all go back together tonight, as


    one big happy family.


    Clearly deluded and can’t see past his own brother’s ass.


    The party is tomorrow night, but that means my family get to spend some time with me beforehand,


    and I can introduce my two best friends to everyone properly. Christian met my parents when they


    came to the city for dinner with me and my mother loved him. Pretty sure she missed all his gay hints


    until he confessed his boyfriend problems to her and broke her heart for any wedding ns she had


    brewing in her head.


    “The shift dress.” He points out the neatly folded item on my vanity, the dress I haven’t worn since


    Natasha got red wine stains out of it. It reminds me too much of them both and it’s sat there for weeks,


    unsure what to do with it. You don’t just toss Louis Vuitton away, even if the thought of ever wearing it


    again makes me want to cut my own heart out with a spoon.


    “For the flight.” He winks at me with that irritating as shit, know it all look that is now bing the thing


    I hate most about him.


    “You always look super sexy in an understated way, in ssic shift dresses, especially with those heels


    with the ankle straps.” I gaze down at the skinny jeans and tank I was thinking of keeping on for


    comfort but realize he is on to something. I’ll have to endure Arrick for an hour minimum, and maybe it


    won’t hurt to look good while flying home and pretending to be over him. He sure as hell didn’t seem


    that broken up over losing me when we saw him that day in the restaurant.


    I chew on my lip thoughtfully, pushing the memories of him away, like I’ve done tens of thousands of


    times since that day and ignore the brewing storm inside of me.


    Do not let him get to you. He doesn’t deserve your pain.


    “You know I’m right. Go get your face on and fluff out your hair, while I chase up our girly. Won’t be long


    sexy.” Christian ps my ass as he walks by and leaves in a cloud of designer aftershave that’s too


    sexy for words. I need to ask him what he wears, as it’s seriously alluring, like a little trail of oomph


    wherever he goes. It reminds me of Arrick’s own scent, but I don’t even want to make that connection,


    shaking the thoughts away again.


    I regard the dress on the vanity and frown, knowing I don’t owe it to Arrick to dress up and look pretty,


    but a part of me wants to. To show him that I’ve gone on with my life without him in it. That I kept my


    shit together and am doing okay for myself without him.


    I don’t need him.


    Dressed in jeans and a tee I look rxed, but also way too casual, and I want to show him that I am


    more than I was when he rejected me from his life. That I am worth more than what he chose over me.


    I need to feel like I had a lucky escape, not focus on everything he used to be, everything he was to


    me.


    My apartment around me is my pride and joy and the homeliestforting space I have ever known, I


    have real friends around me who really care, and don’t use me as a means to an end for my money.


    My family and I are mending bridges and there is a new-found trust in me, because they seem to know


    that this is different and giving me gentle breathing space to find my way. Sticking with school and


    doing well for myself, excelling at the top of my ss. I have everything to be proud of.


    These past few weeks I’ve learned enough of the basics of sewing and designing to kit out my own


    sewing room and spend all my spare time in there, sewing beautiful simple things and binge-watching


    tutorials. I’m enjoying every second of being creative and fashioning things for myself, designing my


    own wardrobe. An eclectic collection of styles and eras as I have been fully opened to the fashion world


    and the vast number of talent around me. I have purpose and meaning in my life that wascking


    before, and I feel like I am finally on a path to something happier. I have nothing to hide from him.


    I move to my wardrobe and decide on apromise to what Christian thinks I should wear. A floaty


    summer dress that is modest, yet cute, and a little short and flirty, paired with sandals and a cardigan. I


    won’t look obviously overdressed, but feminine and young like I used to. Hair loose in its longer bob


    and my now trademark natural make up. I need to show Arrick how much better I am alone and that I


    don’t need him anymore. How much more settled in my old skin I am.


    Half an hourter I am ready, as my duo of sidekicks walk back in. Christian whistles, handsome in


    chinos, white shirt, and loafers. Jenny is in a long jersey dress with shorts sleeves and leggings and


    looking curvy for once, equally cute with her soft features and gentle smile.


    I love these two to death and theyplete a part of me that would be struggling so much worse if I


    didn’t have them. They are the only reason I’ve been able to stay strong and not cave, keeping me


    upied and being my strength when I waiver. Without them, I would have called him a million times in


    the past weeks. Within the first month.


    “You look really pretty Sophie.” Jenny beams at me, dragging her weekend case behind her and


    propping it against the two cases we already put by the door. All ready for the dreaded two days home


    with him.


    “Some Dutch courage for the road?” Christian lifts a bottle of Proso from his shoulder bag, smiling


    as we both nod in unison. Loving his forward-thinking and knowing what I need.


    I think I should just marry Christian!


    ***


    I’m seatedfortably in Jake’s jet, Jenny beside me while Christian is sprawled in a seat across the


    aisle lookingpletely at home. Jake is talking to him across a table while we wait on Arrick and Nate


    and my nerves are on edge, sitting tapping my foot restlessly while trying so hard not to keep looking at


    the open door at the far end of the ne. It has only been minutes, but already I’m restless and antsy,


    barely able to keep myself in check and having Jenny p my hands every time I start chewing my


    nails.


    Jake looks my way a couple of times, with fatherly smiles, and I smile emptily back. He was a little


    cagey when we arrived, I think he expected me to pull him up on Arrick’s appearance and myck of


    mentioning it is confusing him. I feel sick with nerves and want this to be over with.


    Jake has to know everything; Arrick always confides in him and I tell Emma everything, which pretty


    much trantes to Jake also knowing my side of events. I’ve avoided any sort of alone time to chat


    with him, other than our lunch dates every two weeks, but he tends to ask me about school and my


    apartment, and generally helps me with my bills and stuff I should be doing alone.


    He asked me about three weeks after Arrick asked me to leave if I wanted to talk about it or wanted to


    know what Arrick was doing or saying about all of it. I told him I didn’t, and he has left it alone ever


    since. Right now, he is entertaining Christian and talking fast cars, boxing, and even more fast cars.


    Something they both have a love of it seems.


    I can tell that Chris feels rxed around him; his camp mboyant side is clearly on disy and I keep


    getting weird nces from Jake, as though he is trying to assess if I know. It’s one topic I never thought


    of broaching with him because, well, why would I? He asked me once if Christian and I were close, and


    I told him I loved him to bits, never dawned on me that he would read anything into that. Until now.


    He is most definitely doing the “I wonder if she knows her boyfriend is gay?” look at me. I smirk,


    realizing despite talking about Chris and Jenny, I have never actually made it clear I wasn’t dating him,


    and I guess he figured I was. I guess that means Arry thinks I am too, as Jake would probably have


    mentioned it, although the restaurant would have been enough to tell him so.


    Not that I care.


    My head almost snaps up when I hear the tell-tale noise of people boarding the ne. Holding my


    breath, blood draining from my face as I stare at my exposed knees and wish I could sink into oblivion.


    My heart lurches and my stomach knots, I start inhaling slowly to calm all outward reaction to him


    boarding. Jenny reaches out, taking my hand in hers and squeezes gently. Reassuringly sweet as


    always and giving me just what I need. I take another deep breath to calm my outward persona and try


    to stay unflustered.


    “Hey, all.” Nathan is first in, one of Arrick’s most regrpanions at all Carrero family functions, He


    has been to many a Huntsberger party too. He grins at everyone, eyes lingering on Jenny a little longer


    than appropriate and that little Casanova twinkle tells me he thinks he found his new ything for the


    weekend.


    I think not! She is far too sweet for the animal in him, he would snap her.


    “Hey, asshole.” I scowl my warning and get nothing but that infuriating wink from him which says “game


    on”. I will literally beat him if he dares mess with my new female bestie. Jenny has a boyfriend, okay


    maybe she doesn’t seem happy with him, but still. The girl doesn’t need Arrick’s lothario sidekick


    making moves on her innocent self and messing with her head. Nathan would crush her in so many


    ways.


    He decides he wants to sit opposite us with that and moves to slide in directly in front, moving over


    towards her side so he leaves Arry a seat facing me. I freeze, the urge to kick Nate so hard it’s


    undeniable and I inwardly panic. The asshole will be more than aware of what happened with us and I


    could honestly choke him. I scowl at him, catching that infuriating smile as he slides into the seat in one


    fluid movement whilst throwing Jenny his “Hi, beautiful” smile, which signals he’s in predator mode.


    Nate is handsome, I have to hand it to him, and he’s also tall, muscr, and pretty solid. But I also


    know he’s amitment-phobe with a constant hard-on and his bed count is even higher than Jake’s


    back in his heyday as a man whore! Arrick, at least, used to bed the same bimbo for a couple of weeks


    before moving on, while Nate is more like a couple of hours. He never backtracks, and he never keeps


    them around to remember their names.


    “Hey.” Says Jenny, blushing furiously as she tries not to react to the overly male hormones sweeping


    her way and gets a wink from him in return. Jake and Christian nod his way with guy smiles, oblivious


    to Nate’s schmoozing, and everyone goes back to silently awaiting thest passenger. There’s definite


    uneasiness in the air and I’m not sure if it’s just me or if everyone seems to be holding their breath


    while we await the man of the moment. I guess maybe it’s true, everyone in here knows the story


    between us, and they probably think it’s going to be awkward or seriously explosive. I’m counting on


    neither. I aim to be mature, act like I don’t give a shit and ignore him to the best of my capabilities.


    Arrick hesitates when he boards a minuteter, eyes immediately meeting mine. Almost as soon as he


    ducks in the door, it’s like some weird force that makes us both look at one another and then away as


    quickly. I’m apletely weak idiot, incapable of not looking when I should have kept my head down.


    My chest almost explodes with the effort of keeping my heart in ce and my hands start to tremble


    involuntarily. My face tingling with the creep of heat and breathing that is instantly a littlebored.


    He moves down the aisle towards us as I keep my eyes on the book in myp that I brought for this


    exact reason, pick it up and start to thumb the pages in a bid to appear nonchnt about his arrival. I


    feel like the whole ne is suddenly buzzing with tension and sixth sense tells me, all eyes are on me.


    Arrick stops between the two sets of seats, his body heat and heavenly scent too close to be


    comfortable: we’re on his left, Jake and Christian on his right, giving him limited seating options.


    Leaning in to give Jake a man half-hug, shake thing, seeing it as an excuse, he slides in beside his


    brother across the aisle, facing Christian, instead of opposite me.


    Thank God.


    He sits diagonally across from me instead of directly facing. I let out a tiny sigh of relief, letting out the


    breath I wasn’t aware I started holding, knowing it will be less traumatic if I don’t have to dodge those


    sexy hazel eyes or stop myself from starting at that wless square jawline every time I look up, or


    asionally brush one another under the table, seeing as he has long legs, and this is not an overly


    huge space. My heart flutters a little, although my nerves are in chaos, like I’ve run a marathon with


    how lightheaded I am. I keep concentrating on outward calm, nonchnt expression and if needs must,


    the odd impassive gaze if he speaks to me.


    “Hey everyone, I’m Arrick … Arry.” He nods towards Jenny; I catch it from the corner of my eye, feel


    her move as she leans out and I guess he’s offered her a handshake, the gentleman he always is. He


    greets Christian too, but I keep my eyes glued to the book in a bid to ignore him.


    “Hey, Sophs.” His voice hits me in the gut. I know his eyes are on me this time and the familiar way he


    says my name hurts me more than I expected. I nce up quickly, so as not to draw attention to us and


    give him a quick half-smile. That soft look and eyes trained on mine make mepletely lose all


    resolve to be cold and distant, fumbling with my book in myp.


    “Hey.” Ites out a little too breathily,pletely shaken as heat creeps up my face even further,


    looking away fast so as not to let him know how much I fucking suck at hating him.


    I just want to keep hating him so badly, keep being so crazy mad at him.


    Almost gasping at how awful it is on my heart when his eyes meet dead on like that. Today they are


    greener than brown, and he’s looking at me like he wants to say something. Despite myself, I nce up


    at him again, catching his eyes locked on me once more before they flicker to Chris across from him


    and then looks away. I scold myself, shake myself internally and tell myself I need to get a grip on this


    and stop being so pathetic when ites to him. I pick up my book, open the pages and stuff my nose


    inside, trying to get engrossed, and read this trip away.


    Breathe, count to ten … Read and ignore. Repeat.


    “Seatbelt, Sophs.” Arrick’s soft tone cuts straight through my guise and I look up to see everyone


    belting up, his eyes on me as he does the same, hurting with the force of a tidal wave and reminding


    me how many times he would lean over and put mine on. Like a weird habit, or impulse, from years of


    doing them for me when I was younger. I always had trouble getting them totch, so he always did it,


    and then never stopped. I guess he’s feeling it too, being in the same space and not doing it for me for


    the first time since I ever met him. I guess this will be the first flight, road trip, or whatever, that we


    haven’t sat side by side while upying the same space.


    I pull on myp belt, with a tight half-smile his way and try not to let the tingles creeping up from inside


    hit my face, and show him that he still gets to me on every level. I struggle with the stupid thing, try to


    get it to clip before Jenny leans over and does it instead, I avoid his eyes, knowing fine well he’s


    watching and feel like a dumb kid all over again. This is his fault, if he had ever left me to do this alone,


    then maybe I would have learned by now.


    So much for being so mature and having my shit together. Who can’ttch goddamn safety belts? Me,


    that’s fucking who!


    As soon as the ne starts up for take-off and maneuvering on the runway, I go back to my book in a


    bid to zone them all out and act like I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass if the entire reason for three months


    of sheer hell is sitting three feet away from me, looking like my dreams. I don’t want to be here


    anymore. I’m suffocating because he’s here. I’ll never do this again. I would rather get a four-hour


    sweaty coach trip, than this hell.


    Nathan’s already pulled Jenny into a conversation about some movie they both watched recently, and I


    can hear Jake and Christian talking across the aisle about something mundane. Chris has gone back


    into “man” mode and seems to be trying to act like he isn’t probably salivating over the two hot Carrero


    brothers and making like a straight boyfriend. I feel Arrick’s eyes on me every so often, even without


    looking I know it’s him. No one else has ever made my skin prickle the way he does, and I want him to


    stop. I don’t even know why, maybe it’s the hair, reverting to clothes I used to wear long ago. Either


    way, he needs to just leave me alone and look somewhere else. I flick the page and absorb myself in


    the words on the page before me, in a bid to get into the story and zone out the audience.