Chapter 77


    I don’t know even how to react to that, and all I can feel are Natasha’s trusting eyes on us, as we both


    act like guilty kids whose mom just caught them dry humping on the couch. I grab it from him as we


    both catch it and click on any button my finger hits. Only it’s worse, and it is actual porn this time, with


    an up-close view of someone’s ass being vited by the world’s biggest penis. Arrick has one of those


    dumb TV’s with inte crap and buttons for crazy things. It would seem he has a direct link to porn on


    this damn demon-like contraption, which actually surprises me. He doesn’t seem like the porn type. I


    throw him a serious questioning, if a little usatory, frown as he ps a hand over my eyes, covering


    them.


    “For the love of God.” Arrick groans and slides the thing from my fingers as I push his other off my face,


    to do some damage limitation. Flicking it off whatever crazy menu I have navigated onto and switching


    to Pulp Fiction instead, a movie favorite. I can literally feel my face ming with shame. He just raises a


    brow my way and shrugs unapologetically as though to say ‘yeah, men like porn’.


    Natasha looks wholly ufortable and probably traumatized, not that I me her. She does look like


    she is a missionary position girl, who only has sex on Sundays. That guy’s dick had been abnormally


    huge, and that girl’s ass was so not equipped for that kind of torture. I’m not exactly a prude, but even


    I’m flustered by that little getup and have no idea how to react.


    Arrick hands me wine, intent on pushing us into drinking to cover up whatever the hell just happened,


    and I take it gratefully, unable to meet his face, aware that he has shifted a foot away from me, and the


    heat erupting all over me has me feeling like some wanton whore who obviously has a porn curiosity.


    “Interesting movie choices you have.” Natasha is still trying to make polite conversation on the most


    ridiculous of topics, and I have to double-take her face to see if she’s being serious. I spot her trying to


    curb a smile and impulsively smile too, thenugh like a crazed loon, because the tension inside of me


    breaking loose makes me feel like I have seriously just lost the plot. We both burst into giggles and I


    sense Arrick rx too. He chuckles, and then we stop, weird atmosphere abated, and return to the fact


    that this is the craziest scene of all time. There’s the return of awkward silence, and I have no clue what


    I’m even doing here anymore.


    “Maybe I should leave you two alone.” I interject and make a move, but it’s Arrick’s concealed grab on


    my hand that stops me. I throw him a frown and see nothing in his expression. He lookspletely


    deadpan like he hasn’t just stopped me from getting up, and then he smiles across the top of me, at


    her. I’m seriously confused by what he’s doing. I feel like one of those dumb kids in school who miss


    out on all the in-jokes the popr kids throw around and yet try to act like they know what the hell is


    going on.


    “We should go, Natasha.” He smiles at her and it suddenly makes me feel sick to my stomach,


    confusion written all over me. Natasha is instantly wary like she thinks he is about to throw her out, and


    that tearful look she gets in her eye obviously affects him, because I spy that subtle jaw-tense tell of his


    that he feels shitty.


    “We could go for a drink and maybe talk somewhere else.” He looks right at her, like I’m not even here,


    and I can’t ignore that adoring puppy dog look she has for him shining through, melting visibly in front


    of me because Arrick has offered her a lifeline. I shove him back out of my way aggressively, curbing


    the urge to re in his face and stand up, getting out from between them harshly and unable to hold in


    the jealous pang of pain that just punched me in the gut.


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    “I’m going for a shower, anyway...So knock yourself out.” I snap and spill my overly full ss of red


    wine all down my clothes. I avoid his eyes on me, even though I can feel them burning into my face.


    “Shit.” Iy it on the table and make a grab for the towel that’s been sitting there all day for no apparent


    reason; pretty sure it was me who left it here and start dabbing it off my prized dress. Arrick’s on his


    feet and grabbing the towel to help me, almost in my face and I realize he’s trying to trante some


    sort of look to me. Silent messages of some kind and I lose my temper instantly. Sick of whatever this


    is and snap at him.


    “I can do it. Just go out and go do whatever you’re going to fucking do with your girlfriend.” I snatch the


    towel from him, turn on my heel, and storm into the nearest room, heading for a sink. Except it’s his


    room and not mine, and I feel like tonight I’m a serious contender forplete moron of the century. I


    head straight for his bathroom to sponge the red mess from my clothes hopelessly. It’s only a few


    shades darker than my dress, but it will forever be like a permanent scar. I love this dress, it cost me


    half my allowance and I don’t want it to go to ruin with a stupid spige of wine.


    “Take it off and I’ll soak it.” Natasha’s voice behind me startles me. Shees in and holds out her


    hand expectedly, like a bossy mother with a no-nonsense tone and the impulse to tell her where to go


    evades me. I pull off my dress by shimmying out of it expertly and handing it to her instead. Not at all


    shy about standing in my new Victoria secret two-piece, sexyce lingerie, and definitely not caring if


    I’m standing here like a swimwear model. Watching her warily and wondering why the hell she followed


    me in here. Why tonight, she seems to be all over my ass. She moves by me filling the sink with cold


    water, squirting a little of the hand wash into it and swirling it around.


    “If we soak it out, then it shouldn’t stain.” She smiles up at me, nothing in her expression to suggest


    anything is out of the ordinary, other than my behavior. I stand in my underwear and bare feet and


    watch her, not sure what else to do, feeling like I’m in the throes of the weirdest day of my life.


    “I’m sure I could have done it myself.” I add and then catch her pause; a tear fills her eye and she looks


    at me in the vanity reflection for a moment. I’m like a deer caught in the headlights and have no choice


    but to meet her gaze. That unexpected reaction thaws my ice a little, a strange sensation in the pit of


    my stomach making the cool attitude of my facade soften guiltily.


    “You’re his best friend,” she sighs, and my heart pounds instantly through my chest. I falter and for a


    moment wonder if she has guessed what this is. Holding my breath as my insides shift painfully. “I


    know he tells you everything.” She carries on as that tear rolls down her cheek painfully. I stand


    dumbfounded, looking around hoping that he too will wander in here and save me from whatever this


    is, but he seems to be staying away.


    “Not everything.” I reply stiltedly. Not sure what else to say, or what to do. I don’t even know if this is


    how murdering a side chick begins. A sane person washing out your clothes, who then turns the nail


    file into a fatal weapon in a moment of broken-hearted fury. I really have no clue if I should be running.


    “Has he said anything to you about why he’s doing this? Why he’s suddenly so confused about what


    we are?” She focuses directly on me, so much pain and sadness in her face that my breath catches in


    my chest, to the point of being unable to inhale and I literally have no response. I never liked her, never


    cared, but while she’s looking at me like that and asking me this, I have nothing but a huge pit of


    shameful regret hitting me hard.


    “I … I …” My palms get sweaty and I lose the ability to talk. Nerves overtaking me and a ball of heavy


    pain consuming me.


    “Of course, you can’t tell me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask you; I shouldn’t put you in that position. I’m sorry,


    Sophie. I’m just going out of my mind and feeling like every second I’m losing more of him. I don’t know


    what else to do. I love him so much.” She starts to cry softly, her mascara running down her face, and


    my own eyes fill with tears in a knee-jerk reaction to a girl in pain. I can practically hear that devil on my


    shoulder poking me in the face and repeating the word ‘GUILTY’ over and over.


    “He still loves you.” I croak painfully, knowing it’s not a lie, even if it hurts me. I don’t even know why I


    feel like I should console her in some way. Maybe it’s the devastating way she is sobbing into the sink


    while scrubbing my dress and looking like the most pitiful being I have ever encountered. It really would


    be like stabbing a kitten with a hot poker, and I have a little humanity in me, even for


    her.