Chapter 55


    It has the same rich kid décor as most of my ex friend’s ces, and the upside is the closeness to the


    nightlife and the bustling stores. Even though I told myself I wouldn’t be like before, I still want to be


    somewhere that gives me a choice, near the buzz of New York’s constant energy should I feel like


    going out sometime.


    “Who owns this ce, anyway?” I nosey at the bedrooms, smiling when Cami tells me to pick one. I


    wander into the most feminine and chuck my backpack on the bed haphazardly, eyeing up its clean


    décor and the hints that this is a male’s ce. It reeks of bachelor pad rather than a couple, or even a


    woman.


    “Just some guy I sometimes fuck. He’s very generous with his houses.” She winks at me and wanders


    in to flop on the bed in front of me, carrying two sses and a bottle of wine. “Celebratory tipple?” She


    waves it my way, but I only shake my head. Sighing heavily.


    “I’m still recovering from whatever rocket fuel you poured down my throatst night.” It isn’t just the


    hangover, something in my gut tells me Cami did something to my drinkst night and I can’t shake


    it. I know she will deny it if I ask, and I just cannot be bothered with any drama. I’m exhausted, still


    hungover and in need of some rest. The journey was cramped, noisy, and the creep watching me


    across the aisle on the whole trip made me uptight and tense. I sat with my bag in myp, aware of his


    eyes on me.


    “Come on, Sophs, don’t be a spoilsport. You can’t bunk with me and not enjoy the asional booze


    fest. What’s the point of being young, beautiful, and loaded if we can’t have some fun?” She sits up,


    cing the sses on the nightstand while fighting with the cork, screaming in delight when it pops off


    and wine spills everywhere.


    I frown; a huge internal pang sending off warnings, telling me to get my bag and go, but I’m tired, dead


    on my feet, and I really am too exhausted to leave. I want nothing more than to rx for one night and


    stop stressing about how my family are right this second. I know, without a doubt they’ll have realized


    I’m gone by now, and the guilt is tearing me up inside. I have major regrets at how I reacted, nothing I


    can do about it now though, and I just need to make the best out of the worst.


    I pull my phone out of my bag, regarding it for a second before sliding it into the drawer hesitantly,


    adamant I won’t turn it on this time. I have to do this on my own before I can let them back in. Whether


    I’m making a huge mistake, it’s something I have to do on my own, and prove to them I can be trusted.


    If I am to avoid being locked up in rehab hell, I have to show them I can survive out here and get my life


    back on track myself.


    I was thinking while on the bus, about what I’m going to do, n to search; I can Google on my phone


    for information and have figured an action n of sorts already. I just need a little time to put it all into


    action before I grovel with my tail between my legs for their forgiveness.


    “If I’m going to stay then I’m setting some ground rules here. I’m trying to get my act together, Cam,


    and that means no booze, not for a while anyway. I have stuff that I intend to sort out, and I want to


    start looking for a job or something, to support myself when I get my shit together.” I shoo the ss


    away and set about pulling a tank and panties out to wear to bed, even though it’s early I intend to get


    in and just stay there. I have so much more reading to do on a fashion school I know is located in New


    York, about entry requirements if I get brave enough to fire up my cell.


    “Your family is loaded; you don’t need a job.” Camiughs at the ridiculousness of it. Downing her


    booze and making a mess with spiges as she waves it around.


    This is property ? of N?velDrama.Org.


    “I can’t live off their money forever, especially now when I literally ran off again. I need something more


    in my life than this. I need a focus and something to drive me so that I feel like my life is my own.” My


    head is a mass of thoughts and feelings about everything, and I realize I have to make some changes.


    I’m not a kid anymore, and if I want them all to see it, I need to stop acting like one. I maybe did a really


    stupid and immature thing by running off again, but I don’t intend to stay away forever, just long enough


    to prove to everyone I’m not some hopeless drunk who needs rehab. At the route of it all, I just want all


    of them to have a little pride and faith in me.


    “Well I could sort you out something to keep money flowing, I have my ways.” Cami takes a serious


    turn, her normally grinning red lips looking decidedly more calcted, with a raised brow and


    prating gaze. A sudden aura of danger around her.


    “What do you mean? I thought your father kept you in expensive clothes and cars.” I regard her warily,


    pulling off my clothes to change into bed wear as Cami shifts over to the other side to deposit the


    extra wine ss.


    “Another time, little one, when you’re less stubborn minded and more open to my gentle persuasions.


    We’ll talk over dinner and drinks tomorrow night at my favorite little hangout.” Cami gets up to move,


    shing a look that I don’t understand at all. It gives me an odd feeling, but I push it down and shake it


    away as she saunters to the door.


    “We’ll see.” My gut doing its crazy dive bomb thing again, trying to tell me something is most definitely


    not right when ites to Cami. I get an underlying sense of something ‘off’ whenever she has that


    look in her eye. I vaguely remember the same look when I told her at that bar that I started to feel too


    out of whack for only a couple of drinks, but I push it away.


    “Toodles, I am off to find a party if you’re going to be boring and go to bed. I have a hunger for some


    rough and ready men tonight, so don’t be rmed if you hear copious amounts of moaning and


    screamingter. Oh, and you may get someone popping by tonight with a present for me, just leave it in


    my room.” Cami’s old familiar smile overtakes her face and she sweeps out in a ze of scent, finally


    leaving me alone. d that she’s leaving me to just rx without any hassle, and I watch her depart


    for a second, turning back to scan the room before carrying on once more.


    I finish dressing and slide into bed, discarding all of my things onto the floor next to me. I reach out to


    open the nightstand and retrieve my phone, torn between switching it on and putting it back. Thest


    leg of my journey had seen my guilt eating away at me and I know I owe my family some sort of


    message to say I am at least safe. I’m notpletely selfish. I know my parents will be beside


    themselves by now, and it is gnawing away inside me. My resolve is waning, over staying,pletely


    silent, and the good child inside of me is worrying about my decision.


    My fingers hesitate over the screen, so many doubts and fears as nerves get the better of me, but my


    stubborn mind kicks in and switches it on. I need to use google anyway. It only takes seconds for the


    beeps of iing notifications, texts, and missed calls to send my phone crazy and my heart into


    erratic pounding. I can’t bear to open any of them, as I scan the list of names piling up in my inbox.


    Everyone from Jake, and Emma, to Le, my parents, and even my brothers.


    I sigh heavily, skimming the list of missed calls and stop on Emma, she is the one person who won’t go


    mad at me on the phone and reassure everyone else that I’m okay. She is the one person who will be


    able to put everyone’s mind at ease, and talk my parents around the rehab idea, with a little time.


    Taking a steady deep breath, I press call and slide it to my ear. Sitting propped in bed with bent knees


    and fiddling with the bedspread nervously.