Chapter 26
“Shut up and listen to me.” He pulls me thest stretch of stair and into the familiar room I spent the
past few years growing up in. All pink, white, soft, and frilly. Everything still as it was, as though I never
left. My room looks like my parents have preserved it as such from the day I walked out.
My taste in décor has never grown from childish and cute; stuffed animals litter my bed, and shelves
are filled with teen romance books and trinkets. Arrick has seen this room a million times and pulls me
to my silver-gray chaise longue in front of the huge window, evicting fluffy pillows and nkets as he
plonks me down harshly.
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“I didn’t get you home so you could up and run again. Stop being selfish, Sophs. For once in your adult
life, face the shit head-on and deal with things. You can’t keep having this knee-jerk reaction to life
being hard, running solves nothing.” Arrick slides down on the seat next to me, still holding my hand,
his eyes trained on my face imploringly.
“Running worked for me once.” I bite back on my tears, swallowing hard to stop them, lifting my face
defiantly and reminding him of the fact that running was how I escaped a life of abuse at the hands of a
violent sicko. Arrick sighs, bringing my forehead to his softly, wiping my tears with gentle fingers and
calms me instantaneously. That ability of his to cut through all my bull and find my feet for me reigning
supreme. I manage to bring that emotional outburst to a calm trickle of sniffs instead, breathing in the
smell of him while being grounded by his warm face against mine.
“That is not the same thing. They love and miss you; they would never hurt you. All this in here,” he
taps my head gently, “It’s fixable, Sophs. We did it before; we got you through some of the worst years
of your life. I just need you to have some faith in us, to go back to your counselor and give your family a
chance to help. No one here has done anything wrong. No one wants to see you hurting like this. We
just want to help figure out why you’re so lost right now.” He catches my chin and tugs my face up
towards his, so I have no choice but to look at him eye to eye. Locked onto that calming warm set of
hazels imploringly, my face crumbles. That inner me that struggled alone for months in the city, finding
her way out again. Like a child clinging on, I push away his words and focus on the real biting issue
that’s coursing up inside of me.
“It’s all so overwhelming, now I’m here again,” I sigh softly, breaking the eye contact and focusing down
on ourps instead. His fingers find mine and pulls my hand into his own warm and strong one,
dwarfing it, making it seem small while captured in his embrace. I watch the two of them entwine softly;
one pale-skinned, dainty, and delicate, and the other tanned,rge and strong. He has such man
hands; they overpower mine with their strong fingers.
“It will take time, Mimmo. Getting used to being back, fixing things with your family. You’ll just need to
take it a step at a time and figure this out as you go.” Arrick brings our foreheads back to touch, resting
gently, but the fact he is using the word ‘you’ instead of ‘we’ has my rm bells going off instantly. I
defensively home in on such an insignificant word that has a huge meaningful effect on my soul.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” I steady my tear-filled eyes on his face, suddenly so much sadness in my
heart that it instantly consumes it, and he falters. He sighs and nces down at my hand ced gently
within his on hisp and seems to take a moment of pause.
“Not right now, no. I’ll stay a couple days, Sophs. I’ll make sure you’re settled here and then I need to
go back. I have a fight this weekend, and I have responsibilities in the Carrero Corp to oversee with
Jake this week, but I’ll call you every night, text, and we can have youe to me every other
weekend, or I cane here.” He sounds less confident andforting, more unsure and guilty, and I
snap.
I pull my hand out of his harshly, feeling like he’s just pped me in the face. The tight knot of pain in
my chest constricting harder and triggers my angry response to shield my heart from more hurt. This is
nothing I don’t already know, haven’t already mulled over on the drive here repeatedly. Expecting the
moment when he will have to leave yeting out of his mouth the way it is, and looking away instead
of at me, it stings a hell of a lot more.
“Why bother bringing me back at all? I was doing fine out there on my own, at least I had a life,” I snap
coldly, that biting ache inside of me like a wound opening up. I stand to stare out the window at that
familiar ocean view in the distance, but it brings me no sense of peace like it used to. Instead, I feel like
I’m in a prison, in a ce that suffocates me, and my only ray of light is going to be snubbed out.
“That’s not a life, Mimmo. You were existing and living on the reckless side. I get it. I’ve been down that
route and more, so has Jake, and Le. Look at us and how much shit we put our parents through at
our worst. We don’t want that for you. This isn’t you; it never has been. You’re so much more than that.”
Hees to stand behind me, warmed by the hands that he rests on my shoulders as he leans into
me. His breath on the back of my hair. I twitch at his touch, that inner deep hurt, anger, instinctively
moving to reject him, but I stay put. Some little tiny part of me still wanting him close even if my self-
defensive side has kicked in. “If you kept going on the way you were, then I’m scared about where you
would have ended up. Sophs, the city is a dangerous ce and you have so much to learn. You’re
na?ve at the best of times, oblivious to how many stupid situations you put yourself in and it doesn’t
bear thinking about how many close calls you’ve had already.” He turns me back to him with a slow
even movement. The stubborn lift of my chin hides the deeper terrifying fear gripping me, building up
from my toes as it tries to slowly consume and w my insides into oblivion. Anger waivers between
sadness and panic attack, unsure which way it’s going to turn and clinging onto a tiny flicker that he will
maybe stay for me.
“I don’t want to stay here.” A single tear rolls down my cheek as my temper breaks and lets the fear
trickle through instead. He impulsively brushes it away with his thumb. His touch softly tickling the
surface of my skin, a thousand tiny tingles erupt delicately as he focuses in on me intensely.
“Why? This is your family. This is your home.” He inhales slowly, bringing us closer and searches my
eyes with his, looking like the boy who used to make my life better with minimal effort. Just another
stab at my heart that this is not what this is anymore; this is just a moment before he hightails it back
home to his girlfriend and his life, the one that doesn’t need me in it anymore.
He studies my face as I close up on him, emotions disappearing and stubbornness setting in. A sight
he’s seen a million times before. Sophie of old pushes out everyone and anything in a bid to regain
control, to stop herself from hurting when life gets too much. Stop myself from falling into that age-old
trap of pouring myself out to him and letting him catch me, because I know, that this time, he won’t stick
around long enough to do it, and the fall will hurt hellishly.
“Because you’ll go, and about five minutes after that, when I’m here alone, I’ll forget what I even came
back for. Forget what is here for me. When you’re around I can think straight, I can rationalize and I’m
stronger … but when it’s just me … I don’t do so well on my own, Arry. I never do well on my own. I
have no idea what I’m doing.” I bite my lip as emotions try to force their way to the surface against that
wall I am building, and look down between us at my fiddling hand, which is now joined to my other to
focus. A swirling cloud of confusion inside of me battles to see which one will be victorious.
“You’re not alone here. You have your parents; Le is close by and Emma. Both adore you and can
help you in ways that I can’t. They have been ces that you’ve been in your past. They have scars
like yours and can help you through this.” Arrick’s voice is calm and steady, gentle yet firm. But his
words crush me from the inside out without even meaning to. He’s making it loud and clear that he has
no intention of sticking around and helping me get through this. He is shifting responsibility to my sister
and my godmother, hoping to wash his hands of the problem that I’ve be, and it wounds me to the
core. Thest twenty-four hours have been nothing but a lie, pretending to want us back how we were,
just so he can deliver me home.