Theodore


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    For what feels like the millionth time, I press the backspace button on my keyboard and watch as the words on my computer screen disappear one by one. I’m half tempted to erase them all and call it quits, but the fact that I pulled an all-nighter trying to scrape together something worthwhile from these pages of absolute word throw up is keeping me from deleting this whole document. Sighing, I reach for my cup of coffee, which is perhaps the only reason I’m not bent over my keyboard passed out exhausted, only to find it empty. Just my luck.


    If I had enough willpower I’d get up and make myself another one. I don’t, and if I’m being honest it’s probably for the best. I lost track of how many cups I’ve had after my fourth one.  Instead, I settle for the only thing aside from caffeine that will calm my inner turmoil. A cigarette. Younger me would throw a fit if he knew grown up Theodore can’t live without his daily nicotine hit. I know it’s a bad habit, but it’s one I can’t seem to move past no matter how hard I try.


    I open my desk drawer and search around until I feel the familiar feeling of a cigarette packet brush my fingertips. There’s only one cigarette left. I make a mental note to buy more as I light my cig and slip it between my lips. My first breath of smoke has me leaning my head back. The tension that’s had my muscles strung like barb wire for the past few hours leaves me much like the way goosebumps travel up one’s body on a cold winter day. I allow myself a moment to rest my eyes as I take another drag.


    From somewhere behind me I hear a soft meow. The sound brings a smile to my face that only grows when I glance behind me to see my adoring cat Casper nosing open the door to my study. He blinks lazily at me as he breaks into a full body stretch and then slinks his way over to me. I watch the way his white fur glistens like freshly fallen snow in the early morning sunlight dancing around the room. Without waiting for an invitation he jumps onto my lap and presses his head into my chin. I let the sound of his purring relax me even more.


    “Good morning, Cas,” I whisper to him as I lay a kiss on top on his head. He gives me an answering meow.


    “Where’s your brother?” My black cat Batman is never too far from Casper so I know he’s lurking nearby. They’ve been inseparable since they were kittens. Two partners in crime.


    “He was kind enough to keep me company while I made us breakfast,” Gwen proclaims as he bursts into the room holding a plate of food. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of low cut jeans that upon closer inspection I realized are mine. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s given himself permission to my wardrobe.


    Trailing behind him is Batman. He holds his head up high as he makes a beeline for his favorite spot in the room. My window nook. I chuckle at the way Casper basically bolts off my lap to join his brother. They greet like they’ve been apart for years instead of a whole minute.


    “I brought you breakfast. I hope you like your eggs scrambled.” He’s joking because if there’s one thing about me that I can’t hide, it’s my love for eggs. Scrambled, fried, boiled, sunny side up. I’ll take them any way I can have them. Dramatic? Maybe, but it’s the truth.


    “You didn’t have to. You’re not supposed to be in the kitchen on your days off.” Gwen is a chef for one of New York’s top Italian restaurant, Lusso. He loves his job with a passion that rivals my love for words. Even if it drains the life out of him. He’s supposed to be resting on his days off, not spending his time in yet another kitchen.


    “Stop,” he demands, cutting off my train of thought. “I can practically see your thoughts with how hard you’re frowning. It’s eggs and toast, Theo. Not a god damn five course meal. Eat it or don’t. I don’t care.” His words make me laugh and wash away what little guilt I had.


    “Thanks,” I mumble and he nods towards the still lit cigarette between my fingers.


    “I thought you called it quits.”


    “Correction. I said I’m trying to quit. Trying being the keyword here.”Stolen story; please report.


    Scoffing, he plucks the cig from me and puts it out in the ashtray laying on my desk. I send him a glare that he shrugs off.


    “You’ll thank me later.”


    “That was my last cig.”


    He gives me a big smile.


    “Good.”


    “Fuck you,” I grumble and he rolls his eyes.


    “I love you too, Theo.”


    I’m too worn out to carry on our little bickering session. After all, at the end of the day I know he means well. Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. Gwen chuckles and I raise an eyebrow, silently asking him what’s so funny.


    “You look like shit,” he tells me as he set my plate of eggs in front of my keyboard. He’s always had a way with words. Honest to a fault some would say.


    “Gee, thanks for the reminder. I feel like it too.”


    “When was the last time you showered?”


    His question is simple, but the harder I think about it the more stumped I become. When was the last time I showered? Heck when was the last time I really left my study aside from my trips to the kitchen for my coffee refills? If I’m being honest, it’s probably been a good three days. Once I start writing it’s almost impossible for me to do much else. My brain fixates over the words swimming in my mind and the only way to calm it down is to let them all flow out. Effective? Definitely. Healthy? Not so much.


    “Your silence is answering enough,” Gwen says, snapping me out of my thoughts. He doesn’t even look surprised, just defeated.


    “I don’t think you could live without me,” he claims as he walks over and sits between Casper and Batman. Each of them get pets behind the ear that they melt into.


    “I think you’d like to think I couldn’t live without you,” I correct him and he laughs lowly before shaking his head.


    “Admit it. Me moving in was a god given miracle,” he says and now it’s my turn to laugh.


    I laugh not because he’s wrong, but because we both know he’s right. Without him I’d probably be buried under a pile of books, starving and sleep deprived. Not that I’m not sleep deprived even with his constant lectures about how important sleep is to the human body. I can hardly sleep with all the words swimming in my brain. If only I could get half of them onto paper.


    “Earth to Theo,” Gwen calls out and that’s when I realize I totally tuned him out.


    “Did you hear a word I just said?”


    “No,” I answer honestly and he sighs.


    “Eat your breakfast before it gets cold. After that I’m evicting you from this damn study until you stop looking like a crazy man and more like my best friend.”


    I find the mirror hanging to my right. A gift from Gwen that he insisted I needed after he moved in. It’s at the perfect height for me to see my face reflecting back at me. I see what he means about looking like a crazy man. My brown hair that is usually unkept to begin with has reached a whole new leave of messy. My eyes that give off a cold gray look even more forlorning with my dark circles.


    “I look like shit,” I proclaim which earns me a chuckle from Gwen.


    “Told you,” is all he has to say.


    At the exact moment I flip him off the doorbell rings. Gwen raises an eyebrow at me.


    “You expecting anyone?” he asks me and I shake my head before picking up my fork and taking a bite of my scrambled eggs.


    It’s probably because I haven’t eaten in hours that these eggs taste like the best thing I ever had. Salty and buttery at the same time. I’m in food heaven.


    “Guess that means I’m getting the door,” Gwen grumbles as I stuff my face. The doorbell rings again and he exits the room with a sigh.


    Not even a second after he leaves, both Casper and Batman rush to my side to meow for a bite of my eggs. It’s my fault for sharing my meals with them to begin with. Now they automatically think that they have a right to whatever I’m eating. Chuckling at their desperate meows and begging eyes, I give them both a piece of egg that they down in record time. They blink up at me for more.


    “No way. The rest is mine,” I tell them, all too aware that they can’t understand a word I’m saying.


    “There’s a handsome man at the door asking for you,” Gwen tells me as he enters my study wearing a lovesick smile. I blink at him, waiting for him to tell me he’s joking, but when he continues to smile like a fool I know he’s all too serious about his claim.


    “How handsome are we talking here?” I ask as I get up and follow him out of my study and down the hall. Both Casper and Batman follow at our heels.


    “Henry Cavill handsome,” Gwen claims and I laugh at the thought that anyone as remotely handsome as Henry Cavill would show up at my front door asking for me. Highly unlikely.


    “Name?”


    “Wouldn’t say,” he says, sounding almost offended by the fact. Gwen, being the charming man that he is isn’t used to men not giving him what he wants. This is probably a first for him.


    “Theodore.”


    I freeze at the sight of the man standing in the doorway.


    “Theodore, is that truly you?”


    Liam Price is the name of the man standing before me. The last time I saw him was the day of Chris’ funeral where he poured his heart out to me, showering me with declarations of a love he’d been harboring towards me for many years. Back then, my heart belonged to the man I’d just watch be buried. There had been no love left for me to give to the man confessing.


    “Hello,” I practically whisper as I step past Gwen and into view.


    Liam steps forward, his eyes locked with mine.


    “Hello, Theodore.”  He smiles at me and for a second I forget how to breathe. The truth is he’s as beautiful as the day I last saw him.