What is a hero? A miserable pile of duties. Each duty worse than the last: pure, mighty, noble, honorable, fearless, fair... dead.


    Why would anyone want to be a hero? Your purpose is to be used and to smile while doing it! As for Villains? The forever force that exists to oppose the Hero. These guys are pretty much always tied to some weird reasons that turn them evil. Most of them share one description that lumps them into a simple yet fitting word: pathetic.


    Is it a lover who died, so the partner now wants to turn death on its head and bend the universe just to get back together? Is it perhaps a hunter, crazed and addicted to the thrill? Perhaps it just wishes for evil, for the sake of, well... evil!—a genuine psychopath. Maybe it wants to cut down half of the residents in the universe due to overpopulation.


    All of these reasons, though valid to some extent—even logical when not emotional—are worthless in my opinion. Not selfish enough!


    However, if you ask me, I think the hero is the most pathetic entity here. Like, really now! How can we root for a guy that wants to "save the world" and "just stop the evil" with nothing more to their character than some peak beauty—bullshit eye candy. I hate this, by the way! Beauty = good guy, while ugly = bad guy. And the worst part? The media eats this garbage up, then feeds it to you! Like a fatass stopping at fast food on their way to the gym, indulging in their carnal desires instead of working hard. Yeah, shitface! Hard work means pain, duh! And when you get back home, all baloony from the trash food you just devoured, you''re gonna do nothing but cry in a corner or go incognito mode. Ew. Disgusting.


    “These people get it!” I exclaimed aloud, scrolling through the comments on my phone as I walked home from college. "They share my opinion!" Another day done, and tomorrow was free—no lectures, no deadlines. Bliss. I was in search of a fresh new novel to binge. Hopefully, one where the so-called “hero” wasn’t another generic, one-dimensional Goodie McGood Guy. I wanted to see them in a different light, y''know?


    I was on my way home, passing by the greatest patisserie in the city, known for its delicious sweet snacks. Unlike a certain type of sustenance (cough fast food cough), this place served dishes that were well-made and carefully crafted. Each item on the menu showcased the ingredients down to the smallest detail, alongside the calories and warnings for allergies or symptoms.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    But I wasn’t visiting them for their delicious croissants, savarins, or chocolate cakes. No, I wasn’t here for a full order either. I could make soup or steak myself at home. No... What I was here for had greater value than all that combined!


    They served it here... The nectar by the Gods for the Gods!


    I’m talking about coffee.


    The coffee!


    This patisserie serves the greatest coffee on the continent, no joke! Celebrities from around the globe come here to take a sip of their fabled brew. It’s so popular that the owner made a ruleset. The best rule is the ticket rule. Make a reservation, receive a digital or physical ticket, and—drumroll, please: WAIT! YOUR! TURN! It doesn’t matter how rich or famous the visitors are, LOL! I’m so happy to be a resident of this city! “It’s like I live in heaven!” That last part escaped me in a whisper, unable to control my joy.


    And control is what I should exercise more of, because I’m convinced Miss Fate has it out for me. In the past month alone, I’ve:


    <ul>


    <li>


    Survived a mid-day encounter with a crazed knife-wielding maniac (no injuries, on me or pedestrians—don’t worry).


    </li>


    <li>


    Nearly been run over by every type of vehicle imaginable, including roller skates.


    </li>


    <li>


    Almost drowned saving a kid who somehow managed to paddle a kayak to the middle of a lake.


    </li>


    <li>


    And I''m pretty sure I''ve avoided a fucking UFO the other night... I don''t want my organs harvested, thank you not so very much!


    </li>


    </ul>


    Today, though, Fate decided to up her game.


    As I approached the patisserie, the sidewalk beneath me began to glow—a crimson circle pulsing with otherworldly energy. It wasn’t stationary. Oh no, it followed me.


    “Is this a… summoning circle!?” I panicked, stress rising up. I bolted, weaving through pedestrians, but the infernal thing stayed locked on me. A futile effort on my part. My fate was already sealed.


    The circle flared brighter, engulfing me in a blinding light. I couldn’t believe it.


    I sighed, staring with tears in my eyes at the number on the paper in my hand. Ticket No. 37.“I didn’t even get my coffee, man! I made this reservation 3 days ago!” As the world dissolved around me, I prepared myself for the inevitable.


    “WP… GG. I say GG, but it wasn’t actually GG.”