Chapter 8.9: Hirai’s Secret IX
Dont get cocky. Trantor: MadHatter
A<em>i</em>voice<em>i</em>as piercing and icy as ice was emitted, and my right arm and left arm, which tightened her neck, were simultaneously seized<em>i</em>with immense force.
Ugh. Not shared on aggregator websites
When<em>i</em>I lifted my tear-stained face and gazed ahead, what should have been an expression of anguish on Hirais visage was instead staring at<em>i</em>me with eyes so pratingly sharp and upturned that I<em>i</em>could have sworn she was someone else.
Hirai wfeudcgy
For<em>i</em>a<em>i</em>split second, the strength in my arms that had been locked into position loosened.
She<em>i</em>didnt overlook that and took advantage of the slightest opportunity to yank my left hand away from her neck and firmly thrust both<em>i</em>my arms all the way back. Perhaps as<em>i</em>a recoil, the scrunchie that she used to tie up her hair tumbled to the ground, and her lustrous hair was<em>i</em>undone.
The<em>i</em>flow<em>i</em>of air had shifted, and the aura that Hirai d herself in had changed. Then something within me, too, halted its movement.
Isnt<em>i</em>it time to give him a break? That<em>i</em>guy had no bad intentions after all. With<em>i</em>my arms restrained, Hirai remarked in a masculine tone. Dont<em>i</em>stay here any longer, ept your death and pass away peacefully.
She<em>i</em>was speaking through me as if she was trying to subdue something. Nevertheless, both of my arms regained strength and I was straining to release her arms that were restraining me.
Even<em>i</em>so, Hirai kept my arms in her grasp, not releasing them.
Even<em>i</em>I could feel the fury, the grudge, and the grief igniting once again. Not good I couldnt suppress them myself.
Hirai
Dont<em>i</em>talk, amateur.
With<em>i</em>a snap, she opened her mouth and<em>i</em>I fell silent.
Yeah, thats good, just shut up for a while.
In<em>i</em>addition, I<em>i</em>was forced to clear my head and refrain from dwelling on tangential matters, and my expression hardened in my half-unconsciousness. Such an absurd
She subsequently deliberately withdrew her hand from the arm that was restraining me and clutched my forehead and temple area solidly.
The<em>i</em>slight<em>i</em>pain produced like a man was gripping me, and my body jerked up abruptly.
Hirai, what<em>i</em>exactly were you
Be<em>i</em>at<em>i</em>rest by releasing your rage, resentment, suffering, and sorrow. Staying<em>i</em>here will only bring you more suffering. Listen, get away from his body little<em>i</em>by little and release yourself Ill convey your emotions properly to him and make<em>i</em>a memorial service for you so dont worry Liberate yourself.
Again, floods<em>i</em>of tears were overflowing from my eyes and falling down.
My<em>i</em>head<em>i</em>shook on its own. It<em>i</em>was a sign that persuasion was refused.
Nheless, she<em>i</em>continued to speak without a change in her expression.
Dont<em>i</em>be<em>i</em>selfish. Once<em>i</em>youre dead, theres nothing you can do about it, I know its tough, but thats the rule. This is not an ideal ce<em>i</em>for you, either. In<em>i</em>time, you<em>i</em>will lose your ego and be absorbed into this spiritual maic field. You<em>i</em>wont be able to pass away peacefully then, even if you could.
<em>Isithatifine with you?</em>
I<em>i</em>shook my head again at her threatening question.
You<em>i</em>can still make it now. You<em>i</em>can still attain Buddhahood and be born anew. Do not stay here and harbor any more grudges against others.
<em>Theianguish you have experienced will all be erased, and the disgrace and sorrow you have suffered will be healed.</em>
My<em>i</em>head<em>i</em>was about to twitch in response to these words, but this time, rather than the ck and red emotions of wrath and resentment, a sudden wave of mncholy overcame me. Tears ran down my cheeks one after another as I sobbed and felt as though my eye bags were going to be emptied.
The<em>i</em>feeling of sadness, sorrow, and inevitability.
It<em>i</em>was the most intense feeling I had ever experienced.
After<em>i</em>that, Hirai released her hold on my temple and, this time, she ced her palm on my head and began to stroke it gently.
I<em>i</em>see, you had a family
My<em>i</em>head moved vertically as I nodded.
Its<em>i</em>sad and hard to separate from them
A<em>i</em>moan escaped my mouth.
You<em>i</em>cant leave your family behind but you know, if you curse people here and be an evil spirit, you will forget the family you left behind and wont be able to leave this ce for eternity Wouldnt you hate that?
My<em>i</em>head shook again.
If so, it<em>i</em>would be better for you to attain Buddhahood and be born again into this world. You died in such a dreadful way but there is no doubt that you might return to life and be born again as a cat if you wish.
<em>Theniperhaps you could be reunited with your family.</em>
Now, which<em>i</em>would you prefer?
Hirai removed her hand from my head and let the choice be made.
<em>Either remain in this ce and turn into an evil spirit, or liberate themself, attain Buddhahood, and be reborn.</em>
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Before<em>i</em>long, the raging emotions that had been brewing like a storm had receded. The grief had faded as well. The strength that had been in my<em>i</em>body rxed somewhat, and the tears that had continued to overflow furiously, gradually subsided
My<em>i</em>left arm faltered as I sniffled, flimsily clutching Hirais arm.
After<em>i</em>a short period of silence, my vision went into total darkness and my eyes were closed.
Oh, I<em>i</em>get it Lets do that.
Amidst<em>i</em>the darkness, I<em>i</em>thought I heard Hirais voice, and like a balloon being deted, I felt something slowly slipping out from my<em>i</em>back to my waist, from inside to outside. In conjunction with this, the dull sensation became vivid.
After<em>i</em>a while, my body, which felt as if it had been encased in heavy lead, became sluggish and moved of its own volition.
Although<em>i</em>I did not lose consciousness, when<em>i</em>it was all over and the long, drawn-out night had dawned, I copsed to the ground in a heap, powerless.
Before<em>i</em>the soul of the cat slipped out of my body, I closed my eyes and
I<em>i</em>want<em>i</em>to<em>i</em>go.
I<em>i</em>was<em>i</em>sure that I could hear that in my head.<hr>
The<em>i</em>white cats carcass, which had beenid to rest by Mr. Hirai, was now ready for burial.
We<em>i</em>returned to the convenience store.
The<em>i</em>sun was about to rise, and warm rays of sunlight shone through the copse, illuminating us. Atst, dawn arrived.
It<em>i</em>had been a long night even so, the dawn always emerged, and the sun undoubtedly rose.
Around<em>i</em>my eyes, which must be puffy from all the tears I had wept, tingles and itches burned.
While<em>i</em>basking under the rays of the rising sun, I nced at Hirai standing next to me, her arms folded with her eyes still tightly nted.
What<em>i</em>are you looking at?
She<em>i</em>red at me as if biting me.
H-Hirai I<em>i</em>had been wondering this for a while but what in the world
But, well, for the time being.
Thank<em>i</em>you very much For saving me.
Hirai<em>i</em>snickered andughed, then caught me by the chest and pulled my face forcefully toward her as I was unsure of what she was going to do.
Dont<em>i</em>get the wrong idea, neer. I wasnt trying to save you.
Ugh.32ewf
I<em>i</em>came out here because Kaname was in danger. Good grief, you are such a tricky medium that was too vulnerable. Next time, you should exercise caution.
After<em>i</em>saying something iprehensible and meaningful, she released my chest.
Then
Give me a cigarette.
What?
You got one, right? Then, a light.
Huh What?
Dont waste my time, hurry up.
Her eyes were so piercing that I was spooked, so I opened the lid of the bike seat, took a Seven Star box and a lighter from there, then handed them to her. Afterward, she told me to light it up, and I did so in front of the convenience store like a yakuza head, lighting Hirais cigarette.
Looking<em>i</em>next to me, I could see Hirai puffing out the smoke of her cigarette.
Hey, what<em>i</em>was with this spectacle?
Um, Hirai2e3
Ah? What?3ew
Did<em>i</em>you bump your head somewhere?
Or<em>i</em>did something go haywire when your neck was constricted? Because this kind of Hirai was not Hirai.
If you dont feel well, lets head to the hospital Ill take you there with me responsibly.
When I mentioned this timidly, she chuckled with a cigarette in her mouth and regarded me with eyes that conveyed a sense of pity. What on earth was so funny?
You havent noticed yet, have you?
Noticed it About what? 423ew
You must be thinking that I am <em>Kaname</em>, hahaha Wrong, youre wrong, even though I am Hirai now, I am <em>Hirai Ayame</em>.
Huh?3edx
What was this person saying?
What do you mean1qa
Its a<em>i</em>simple story, while Hirai Kaname and I seem to be one and the same person, we are not. Well, you and I have already crossed paths, right? As I recall, you were strangled by a woman at that time.
That time.?23wd
Right, I did remember that time.
During my initial face-to-face meeting with Hirai in the middle of the night, she had the same look on her face as she carried now and spoke in this tone of voice.
What<em>i</em>was going on it hardly seemed like she was spouting a lie.
It truly seemed as if she had transformed into a different person. Like her body was Hirai, but only the inner part of her body was not the same.
It was as though she had a dual personality.
Well, you probably dont have a clue what Im talking about, so ask Kanameter.
After finishing her cigarette, she stretched out.
Im<em>i</em>going home.
What!?32efw
What? Is there anything else? Its fine, Kaname will be out soon.
The way<em>i</em>she said it was like someone else would take over for her on the phone.
Apparently, I could no longer talk to this person, so I pulled her and asked her the most essential question, as she wore an expression so frightening that I could hardly believe she was the original Hirai.
Um Why<em>i</em>did that cate to me?
Do<em>i</em>you want to know?
Despite the slightly annoyed look on her face, she gave an exnation.
You<em>i</em>were targeted by that cat for two reasons: first, because you were a medium who was too vulnerable, and second, because you aroused the cats resentment.
No<em>i</em>way
I<em>i</em>mean, the former was convincing but thetter didnt make sense to me. I stroked the cats resentment? I had absolutely no recollection of that.
It was those guys, those bikers, who ran over that cat and killed it. Isnt it usual for that side to be resented Why me, even though I had no part in it?
Even though I was the one who tried to bury the cat.
The delinquents were the ones the cat despised and wanted to curse but you sowed the seeds of your own coteral damage.
You mean
You saw that cat and you felt sorry for it.
Oh.
<em>You see?</em> She smiled fearlessly as if to say that.
Unnecessarypassion and half-hearted sympathy are what provoked that cats wrath.
But thats
You may have taken pity on it for all the right reasons. Honestly speaking, such creatures are not pleased to be pitied by someone who cannot even save them. Isnt it obvious that they get pissed off when someone puts a can of cat food on their table when they cant even eat it?
<em>It was a miserable way to die. The despairing sensation of suffering to the end and dying cold with their internal organs and entrails being exposed in front of another persons eyes.</em>
<em>No human being could possibly grasp such sorrow and suffering.</em>
<em>To show half-heartedpassion would be tantamount to vindicating their resentment.</em>
You have a propensity for being overlypassionate. But this time, it only turned out to be for the worse. Watch out, because everyone here is prone to be troublesome after death.
<em>Allpassion is not eptable</em>, she said, <em>for the living and the dead alike.</em>
Well, when faced with such a situation, dont show undue sympathy and simply hope that the next time you see them, they will live on safely and return to the earth. Thats all you need to do. Well, the next time you encounter one, be a decent man so that you can protect yourself. And dont send any flirtatious looks to Kaname, unless you want me to kill you.
With<em>i</em>that<em>i</em>final chilling remark, she closed her eyes.