<h4>Chapter 6: There’s a Paternal Grandmother, Married Couple And Children -this is an Auspicious Family</h4>
Trantor: Rebirth Online World
Whenrade [1] Sheng Hong took up his new position, a whole new environment and atmosphere came with the new term of service.
Now that they were in Deng Prefecture, he intended to build a positive image for his family, providing a good example of a harmonious family with affectionate parents and filial children. This would be his first contribution to this province, setting the foundations for developing it into a fine society.
And so, upon sessfully being installed into his new office, he chose the perfect day when the sun was shining brightly to bring his wife, Wang shi, his three sons, four daughters and a few maids before Old Madam Sheng to pay their respects.
Once they were in Hall of Peaceful Ages, Sheng Hong and Wang shi first greeted the Old Madam before they each sat on the square stools on either side of her luohan couch. After that, the servants led the children to pay their respect in a specific order. First, it was the three legitimate children, then the four concubine-born children – the concubines were not allowed toe along.
When Minn, that is, little Yao Yiyi woke up first thing in the morning, she was still muddle-headed. She hadn’t even eaten her breakfast yet when she was suddenly carried out of the room by a servant girl who was about fourteen or fifteen years old, telling her that it was time to pay respect.
She was the second to thest person at the back of the line, and it was only when she made a kowtow did she became fully awake as she stammered, “Paying respects to grandmother.”
Add to the fact that she hadn’t talked for a while now and that she was afraid of saying something wrong, when Minn opened her mouth, her words were weak and it came out rather like a mumble and attracted a soft sneer.
When Minn turned her head to look at the person who sneered, she saw Young Lady Rn slightly covering her mouth while standing at the side. Beside her stood a pretty and delicate youngdy that seemed to be slightly older than her, Minn guessed that she was the fourth child, Young Lady Mn.
In Young Lady Mn’s hair was a pair of snowy white jade hairpin. She was dressed in a cloth that was made out of muslin engraved with patterns of a delicateke. Her stance was ording to the rules, her head was bent gently, yet respectful.
Sheng Hong faintly knitted his brows and looked at Wang shi. She then, immediately red at the mama [2] beside Rn, that mama then lowered her head in terror.
Looking at both Rn and Mn, Old Madam Sheng sighed in her heart. Then, when she looked at the dull-witted Minn, who was beingughed by others yet remained ignorant about it as she foolishly stood in the midst with a confused and bewildered look, she couldn’t help but drink a mouthful of tea, not allowing any emotions to show on her face. She continued to lower her head as she waited till the youngest child, Sheng Changdong, to finish giving his respects before she said, “I’m already ustomed to the tranquility and peace, hence, I do not enjoy the noise thates with the crowds. We are all one family, there’s no need to stand on ceremony. As usual, you can pay your respects every ten days.”
Wang shi’s powdered face was flushing, which might be because she had a good restst night. “What is Old Madam talking about? It’s the duty of the younger generation to show their filial piety before you. Those past years, I wasn’t mature enough and have neglected my duty. A while ago, I was scolded by Master and hence, this daughter-inw has learned her mistakes. Hope that you’ll forgive this daughter-inw’s stupidity and don’t hold it against me. This daughter-inw will apologise here to you.”
While saying so, she stood up and knelt before Old Madam Sheng. Old Madam Sheng nced at Sheng Hong, who then knelt as well saying, “Mother, don’t just mention these greetings in the morning and evening, even if it’s to carry and serve you tea daily, it’s all her duty. If Mother doesn’t allow, then this son can only treat it as that you’re still angry with your daughter-inw. It’s the fault of this son that the management of the house is not strict. This son will even personally go before father’s coffin to ept any punishment.”
Wang shi used the handkerchief to wipe her face, and with red eyes said, “Mother, this daughter-inw really knows that she is in the wrong. When I was still at my maiden house, this daughter-inw also learned the most important virtue of all is filial piety. Yet, after I entered the door of the Sheng house, I have allowed my heart to be covered with wickedness and let my temper worsen, leading me to neglect my duty to you. Old Madam, don’t hesitate to punish me, please, don’t stay your hand out of. If Old Madam dislikes the ce getting crowded and noises, then, in the future, we will pay our respects separately.”
Having said this in a low voice, Sheng Hong’s eyes also reddened.
Minn stood,st in line in the left row, peering ahead. She couldn’t help but secretly think, this couple, she doesn’t know if they rehearsed this yesterday orst night for them to match each other’s performance extremely well and even when crying, they’ll even cry at the same time.
Inevitably, Minn suspiciously looked at their sleeves, don’t tell me they kept an onion to make themselves cry?
Old Madam Sheng saw the situation, with a long sigh, she also no longer persisted. She waved her hands to allow the maids to help the Sheng Hong couple up. “If it is so, I will just listen to you then.” After saying that, she took a nce at the dazed Minn, the thin and frail youngdy was thest one to get up by herself.
Sheng Changdong was still too young, hence his standing was a bit unsteady. That’s why after kowtowing, the old maid carried him away and the remaining people sat down again.
Paying respect, in the ancient times, was the most important activity in the inner household.
Daughter-inws who managed the household would report recent activities inside the house to their mother-inws or ask for instructions for how to handle future matters.
If the children were being raised under the mother-inw, then they’d grasp this opportunity to take a good look at their own child, to avoid not being able to recognise the baby they had birthed. If the children were being raised by their side then it is to present them and to let the grandfather and grandmother see; setting a little familial love and joy, or at the very least, letting the children y with them to make them happy for a while.
Unfortunately, Wang shi had not done this type of job for a long time, a familiar tone wasn’t good to use nor was an unfamiliar tone good to use. In addition, it wasn’t considered good to say anything to Old Madam Sheng. As a result, Student [3] Sheng Hong intentionally apanied them to pay respects today. Aside from ying the role of peacemaker, he also took charge of breaking the ice.
“Mother, are you used to staying here these few days? The weather in Deng Prefecture is not as warm as Quan Prefecture.” Sheng Hong asked.
“It is a little cold but not a hindrance.” Old Madam Sheng replied.
“I feel that this Deng Prefecture is rather better than Quan Prefecture. Here, there’s tall mountains and wide oceans, our ce is close to the waterfront and the climate is not that dry. I say that Master got a good ce assigned; this ce is neither too cold nor dry.” Wang shiughed.
“For this old woman, it actually doesn’t matter, don’t know how the little ones feel? Any difort?” Old Madam Sheng said, her eyes looking towards the two rows of her grandchildren.
Wang shi fervent gaze swept towards Sheng Changbai, hence Older Brother Changbai stood up ording to the rules and with a slight bow, he said, “Replying to Grandmother’s words, this grandson feels that this ce is great.”
In the end.... He only said twelve concise words before he sat down.
Old Madam Sheng put down her teacup, and look at Sheng Hong and Wang shi before she looked at the remaining children. Sheng Hong did not have any reaction, while Wang shi seems to be somewhat awkward as she secretly red at her son.
The second one to speak was Sheng Changfeng, he was born rather simr to his full-blooded younger sister, Mn. A modest smile hung on the fair and clear skin, and with his voice bright said, “Every ce has its own goodness, Quan Prefecture has a warm temperature, but Deng Prefecture is magnanimous. Where in our country that’s under heaven has a ce that’s no good? This grandson just read Du Zimei’s [4] poem a few days ago. ‘Mount Tai -What is it like? Through Qi and Lu its azure never ends. Here the Creator gathers wonders divine. Its northern and southern slopes divide dusk and dawn. ‘ [5] Shangdong Province [6] had produced great sages and also Mount Tai is really a good ce. Any day Grandmother is interested, we can visit that Mount Tai.
His voice was bright and diction clear, Sheng Hong continuously nodded his head with a satisfied look in his eyes. Old Madam Sheng also could not resist looking at him a few more times and said, “Little Boy Feng has good knowledge, everyone says Little Boy Feng’s studies are extremely good. Teacher praises his verses and essays considerably.”
At the same time, the atmosphere in Hall of Peaceful Ages became harmonious, Sheng Hong even happier. A few of the little ones were relieved, only Wang shi’s smile be somewhat forced. Minn stole a look and realised that she was tightly holding onto the handkerchief, as if she was strangling Sheng Changbai’s throat so as to allow him to spit out a few more words.
Hun looked at Wang shi, before she turned her head in front of her and yfully pouting said, “Grandmother only praised Third Younger Brother, certainly dislike us girls.”
Old Madam Sheng warmly smiled, “What nonsense is this child saying? When you were young Master personally held your hands to read and write, also specially invited a teacher for you. Who dare dislike our family’s first young miss? This big girl Hua is already this old, yet she has became more mischievous.”
Sheng Hun was born at the best timing. At that time Wang shi and Sheng Hong were still newlyweds, and she still had harmonious rtions with Old Madam Sheng.
Later on, after her younger brother was born, Sheng Hun became more dainty and likeable and, being the legitimate first young miss, she became spoilt from head to toe. She was also raised under Old Madam Sheng for some time. But because Wang shi was not willing to part with her, soon she was sent back. But still among the grandchildren, Old Madam Sheng was most affectionate with her. Inparison, the one born of the same mother, Young Lady Rn, wasn’t born under such ‘favorable conditions’.
“Father taught Older Sister before? Then why did he not teach me? I want a teacher too!” As expected, Rn jumped down from the low stool and ran to Sheng Hong’s side, pulling at his sleeves, acting like a spoiled child.
Wang shi dragged Rn to her side and scolded her, “You’re not allowed to act wilfully, your father is busy with his work now, he doesn’t have any time to y with you. You cannot even sit still while tracing the red characters [7], so what are you saying about asking teacher?”
Rn was unwilling, stamping her feet and pouting. Wang shi could only persuade and coax her as Sheng Hong’s face sunk. Old Madam Sheng watched with a slight smile, this moment, while it was quiet, the silent Mn suddenly spoke, “Fifth Younger Sister is still young, tracing requires patience, naturally finds it boring. However, learning some verses and principles is good, I feel that there is no need to invite a teacher, First Older Sister’s knowledge is this good, why not invite her to teach, wouldn’t it be just right?” Once she finished speaking, she pursed her lips and gave a refined and innocent smile.
Sheng Hong saw that his daughter was considerate in speaking, and had soft and gently attitude and couldn’t help but praise, “Mo’er said well, girls don’t need to take imperial examinations or official career, and, hence, don’t need to memorize those books. However, learning some verses and essays to whet the temperament is actually not a bad idea, when Hua’er is free, teaching Ru’er is also good; teaching the younger brothers and sisters in her capacity as an older sister is her duty after all.”
Wang shi turned cold and refused to respond to this, Hun felt disdainful. However, Old Madam Sheng was looking at the sole person who had not yet spoken, Sheng Minn. She was just staring at Mn nkly. Old Madam Sheng couldn’t help but sigh internally.
Rambling incoherently for a while more, Wang shi slowly brought the topic to Hun’sing of age ceremony, but before she went into further detail, Old Madam Sheng instructed the mama to arrange the breakfast there and split it into two tables, one table for the three adults to dine. While the other table was for the children to eat together.
Breakfast was carried up, unexpectedly simple. Even though Minn understood the situation and also felt that it wasn’t somewhat presentable. There was a big ceramic te at the table, on top of it were white steamed buns and sesame-oil steamed twisted rolls. In addition, there was also a pure porridge steamed from the white japonica rice, and a few more small dishes.
White Steamed Buns (白馒头)
Sesame-oil Steamed Twisted Rolls (香油花卷)
Minn raised her head and saw that Older Brother Changbai’s expression seemed apologetic, Changfeng and Mn’s expressions were as normal and picked up the chopsticks to eat. Hun and Rn both pouted, although the movements differ greatly but it is no different from her angle.
Minn had a maid to serve her as she also slowly ate, and couldn’t help but recall the breakfast at Madame’s ce, Lotus Root Honey Cake, Milky Red Pine Rolled Pastry, Fried Glutinous Rice Dough Cakes, Rosin Meat Garlic Knots, Sesame Balls, Jujube Boiled Rice Congee, Red Rice Congee, steamed egg with meat, swallow’s nest stewed egg, Braised Beef Pasta, cold sesame noodles with shredded meat, sixteen kinds of small dishes assorted into an eight treasure case...[8]
The rich families paid attention to food, but didn’t say anything about it, what more these six siblings who were produced from three different factories. Before this, they even hardly spoke, this moment they could only hear the sounds of spoon and chopsticks moving.
After eating breakfast, Sheng Hong hurriedly went to his office, while Wang shi returned to her courtyard. The rest of the children on the other hand were taken by different mamas but the mama responsible for Minn wasn’t there yet.
Minn hopped off the stool and went to take a look at the doorway, she dared not walk randomly in an unfamiliar ce but following the corridor along the doorway should be alright.
Minn walked along the wall supported by the pirs, forgetting how many turns she had already made. She already passed through a few rooms, and the more she looked the more she shook her head.
This house was big, and decorated with simple furniture. Yet, aside from the necessary furnitures, it didn’t have any precious antiques.
The servants here were mostly of old age, there were some few young maids but they only sweep the floor and washed. this ce seemed to be more poverty-strickenpared to the young maid’s ce. There were no flowers or trees and only simple pruned ones. The hall looked rather simr to a bitter cold cave.
Minn thought to herself, ‘seems like the rumours are true.’
This Sheng household’s Old Madam was born from the household of Marquis Yongyi and, naturally, she was haughty.
When she was young, she had not seen even a dirt. And in her earlier years, she seemed to love stirring up trouble. It was said that she had offended both the husband’s family and her maiden family. Afterwards Sheng household’s Old Master passed away, she began to observe the widowed life and also changed her nature all the way even after Sheng Hong became of age and got married. She didn’t even keep a single property from all the properties the Sheng household has and instead gave everything to Sheng Hong even though she didn’t have much private savings left.
She prayed and abstained from the consumption of meat, and then she cut herself off from the rest of the world. The entire servants of Hall of Peaceful Ages also followed along and soon the ce began to look like a nunnery; they would eat simple and crude foods, errands didn’t have any profit -the days were dull.
For a period of time even the courtyard’s main gate was closed, and it seemed even more cut off from the people and excitement.
Most of the servants were not willing to work on Hall of Peaceful Ages and suffer such condition, so the people being ordered around were all the elderly who came from Old Madam’s dowry and apanied her.
Minn concluded, ‘A group of neglected bunch. Benefits isn’t high as material benefits are rare. No ambition to lead, staffck activity to do.’
Walking around another corner, Minn suddenly smelled a familiar fragrance. She was instantly stunned. This smell is just like the one from her deepest memories!
She originally wanted to forget the past, but she still followed the aroma and entered the room. Pushing the door to enter, she was exposed to a small room. There was a red sandalwood table and a few roll of scriptures at the left side.
A stool with two ruyi lines patterns
as one wants / ording to one’s wishes / a symbol of power and good fortune
Red Sandalwood Square Table (紫檀方桌)
Lingzhi (灵芝)
Believed in China to confer longevity
Looking deeper into the room, Minn saw a small Buddhism niche. On top of it was an embroidery cotton ck and gold veil that smelled like autumn. Below it was an incense table,ying in the middle of the table was a cauldron with four-legged and two-horned Pixiu carved on top. Minn first smelled the sandalwood fragrance. Near the incense table, there were chairs on each side. And in the middle of the room was a praying mat on the floor. So it turned out to be designed simr to a temple.
Cauldron With Four-Legged And Two-Horned Pixiu Carved On Top
Pixiu symbolize the acquisition and preservation of wealth.
There was the honourable delicate white jade Guanyin statue, which was enshrined on the incense table.
A White Jade Guanyin Statue
Guanyin is the Goddess of Mercy, “[The One Who] Perceives the Sounds of the World”.
Minn raised her head to look at it and saw that the Guanyin was dignified yet solemn. Her countenance was merciful, almost like it had seen all the sufferings of the human world.
Minn’s eyes suddenly felt warm, her tears couldn’t help but fall down.
She couldn’t help but remember her Mother Yao. Before she went to the countryside, her mother brought a Guanyin jade locket that she had asked to be blessed in the temple. Then she tirelessly nagged her daughter to bring it along so as to be blessed on this trip and be safe. At that time Yao Yiyi was impatient while listening to her mother’s nagging and hurriedly climb up the car. But now, even if she wanted to listen to her, she couldn’t do so anymore.
Now recalling those times before she lost her consciousness, she vaguely remembered someone prying the car door open, it seemed like the people who came to save them was there.
She wondered if the Old Madam Judge and her other colleagues were rescued? Could it be that she was the only one who died in the duty?
Thinking until here, she suddenly felt endless grief, then annoyance, and then she couldn’t help but think negatively. Once more, she couldn’t feel the willpower to continue living again.
She felt that the heavens had treated her unfairly.
If death was really destined to happen, then why couldn’t she be reincarnated into a better body?
Why should Hun, Rn and even Mn be able to receive a lot of pampering while she was forced to start afresh and struggle to live?
Not only did she need to familiarize herself in this unfamiliar world and need to curry favour with Wang shi, who wasn’t even her biological mother. Suffering in silence would likely be unavoidable, and that suffering grievances now was normal.
Then there was also that she now needed to learn how to read a person to their face and learn again the skills required for all the females in the ancient times to exist.
As this ce, it wasn’t a world fit for a woman to survive.
A long time ago, she watched 《Autumn in My Heart》. All her friends uninhibitedly cried for Eun-suh’s terrible fate when she suffered a lot. Yet it was only Yao Yiyi alone who sympathised with Shin-ae.
From all the list of female leads, Eun-suh was portrayed to be the most beautiful and kind person while Shin-ae was portrayed to be considerate yet harsh. Everyone’s emotions were all towards the side of Eun-suh while ignoring a certain problem: the one that was originally born into a prosperous family and the rightful first youngdy of the family was ought to be Shin-ae. When she was born, she ought to have had that warm and cozy family while Eun-suh was supposed to grow up living in that dirty and terrible small store, being constantly bullied by the elder brother and enduring mother’s temper. [9]
In Yao Yiyi’s opinion it was Shin-ae that received unjust treatment.
If Shin-ae since the beginning had grown up in a warm environment where everyone cared about her, she might not have grown up having that harsh character that fussed over everything.
Because of that unlucky experience, even when she had returned to her parents’ side in the future, there was an estrangement with her and her mother; unable to be intimate like a mother and daughter should. This debt that Shin-ae had, who would settle it?
Seeing that in the end, both the male lead and the female lead died, Yao Yiyi even maliciously thought, that Eun-suh was destined for that fate to seek repayment from that family.
She would definitely die after getting a leukaemia, as she not only gratuitously obtained ten years of happy life that did not belong to her, she even delivered her previous parent’s’ sole son into the Yellow Springs [10]. Well, at least in the end, the only child left at that family and who’ll be the filial one in the end would be the always unloved Shin-ae.
Naturally, Eun-suh was very pitiful, but don’t tell me Shin-ae wasn’t pitiful?
Now Yao Yiyi thought the same thing here, her originally happy life was stolen and was instead changed into this pitiful girl’s life. If she reincarnated into a girl who was pampered by all, then at least she might feel guilty and then she’ll only conceal her feelings a few times and ept it -but this situation is the reverse of what she wanted.
Although, in her original life, she didn’t have any maids to wait upon her, but at least at those times, her life was free.
She had already endured college entrance exams and the seeking of employment, in other words, life’s first difficult part was already over.
She possessed a good job and a warm household, she recalled that two days before thendslide, Mother Yao called her to say that there was a top-notch guy waiting for her to go on a blind date. So long as the guy didn’t have a mistress or that she didn’t have an incurable disease or got into a car ident or any melodramatic events, then her life would be considered like most of themon girls, living an ordinary, yet fulfilling life.
Yet, what about this current Young Lady Minn?
Her biological mother was a concubine and was already dead. Such a perfect time to be reincarnated. The master had three sons and four daughters, and it seemed that he didn’t particrly like this concubine-born daughter, and there was still a legitimate mother who had no intention of being virtuous and kind like the Virgin Mary.
The only benefit here is that she didn’t need to take an exam to be an official. The bad side was that she had no right to express her opinions when selecting her future husband, her life in the future could only be left to destiny. She couldn’t find the police if there was domestic violence, and only had herself to solve her problems to survive.. And then if there was a mistress, no matter how many of them, she also couldn’t make any noise, and can only be virtuous and treat them like sisters. Unable toin to the courts if the husband was bad and wretched.
Oh, that’s right, there was still a worse side of this, perhaps she wouldn’t even be the legitimate wife, since concubine-born daughters usually ended up only as concubines.
This life was full of challenges, how could Yao Yiyi not be resigned?
But she could only resign herself.
She followed the example of her mother, praying and respectfully kneeling before the Guanyin. Both her palms stuck together as she prayed for her mother and elder brother in the other world to be safe and healthy, and that they wouldn’t be worried about this daughter and that from today onwards, she would start caring about the foodstuff and vegetables, care only the rivers and big mountains, and earnestly try to live on. [11]
Big drops of boiling tears rushed forth, she was silently choked with her emotions. Her tears flowed wlessly on her thin and weak face down to the light cyan praying mat. Some prated through the mat and disappeared, yet somended on the ground and became one with the dust.
The morning rays entered through the lotus-coloured screen window, bright and with splendour, soft and beautiful.
The small tiny body of Minn rested on the praying mat, unprecedented tranquility in her heart. She prayed sincerely in a low voice from her heart, wishing that Guanyin would be merciful, look after all her emptied Five Aggregates [12], and that she may pass through every hardships. Then, she wished that there wouldn’t be any matter that would cause her to worry and be frightened. That those who go against her dreams could go away and take all her grief.
[1] 同志 (Tong Zi): Literally means “you, who share the same ambition with me”. Used by members of the Nationalist and Communist parties to address fellow members of the same conviction, thus it can trante to rade”.
[2] old maid.
[3] 同学 (Tong Xue): Literally means a ssmate/student. It’s one who doesn’t know the job yet takes the opportunity to learn it.
[4] Du Zimei is a Tang poet and his writings are very influential to both Chinese and Japanese literature.
[5] Du Zimei’s poet,plete one is:
Mount Tai-What is it like?
Through Qi and Lu its azure never ends.
Here the Creator gathers wonders divine,
Its northern and southern slopes divide dusk and dawn.
Heaving breast-growingyered clouds,
Split eye-sockets-enter returning birds;
A One day I (too) will mount the highest peak,
Where in one nce all other mountains dwindle.
As Qui Zhaoao have described this, “This wasposed while gazing at the Eastern Mountain (Mt. Tai). The poem was written with four stages in mind. The first couplet is the mountain’s appearance as observed while gazing from the distance. The next couplet is its stance (shi!) when closely viewed. The third couplet is the scene minutely observed. Thest couplet is the feeling he has as his gazing and his hope are at their height. The first six lines are a realistic narration; thest two lines are an imaginary depiction.”
More Info here.
[6] They’re in north. Shandong is also found in the north. Mount Tai is found on Shandong Province.
[7] Children learn how to write by tracing Chinese characters that are printed in red.
[8] Here’s the food:
Lotus Root Honey Cake (莲藕蜜糖糕)
Milky Red Pine Rolled Pastry ( 奶油松酿卷酥)
Rosin Meat Garlic Knots (肉松香蒜花卷)
White Steamed Buns (白馒头)
White Steamed Buns (白馒头)
Jujube Boiled Rice Congee (枣熬粳米粥)
Red Rice Congee (红稻米粥)
steam egg with meat (腊肉蒸蛋)
swallow’s nest stewed egg (燕窝炖蛋)
Braised Beef Pasta (干丝清炒牛肉脯))
cold sesame noodles with shredded meat (麻油凉拌熏肉丝)
[10] Underworld in Chinese mythology.
[11] It’s adapted from this poem:
From tomorrow on, I will be a happy person;
从明天起,做一个幸福的人
Grooming my horse, chopping my firewood, and traveling all over the world.
喂马,劈柴,周游世界
From tomorrow on, my only care will be foodstuff and vegetables,
从明天起,关心粮食和蔬菜
I have a house that faces the sea, with spring flowers blossoming.
我有一所房子,面朝大海,春暖花开
From tomorrow on, I will write to each of my dear ones,
从明天起,和每一个亲人通信
Telling them of my happiness,
告诉他们我的幸福
What the lightning of bliss has told me,
那幸福的闪电告诉我的
I will spread it to each of them.
我将告诉每一个人
And give a warm name for every river and every mountain.
给每一条河每一座山取一个温暖的名字
Strangers, I will also give you my well-wishing.
陌生人,我也为你祝福
May you have a brilliant future!
愿你有一个灿烂的前程
May you lovers eventually be spouses!
愿你有情人终成眷属
May you enjoy happiness in this earthly world!
愿你在尘世获得幸福
I only wish to face the sea, with spring flowers blossoming.
我愿面朝大海,春暖花开
[12] The Five Aggregates: from Sanskrit, “skandha” (or Skandhas/Sanskrit/khandhas) are form, sensations, perceptions, mental activity or formations, and consciousness. It’s the body/mindplex that we usually consider to be our “selves”