Nyota led the way, jogging ahead of Liam and Rhendal. Both men moved slowly compared to her, Rhendal’s age stalling his legs, and Liam’s battered body constraining him. The Eclipsiarch gave them no quarter, remaining aloof since Liam’s romantic blunder. Around them a lack of rain meant the road was dry and firm, with fields of wheat or rye reaching their apex of fertility, ready to be plucked.


    Silence cut through the idyllic road, bouncing off Petran boundaries with a cascading concern til they died in the brief clumps of fruit trees. Apple and pear trees mingled with peaches. Occasional breaks in the retaining walls and sporadic trails of trampled wheat hinted that all was not well in the state of Petra. Though, no creatures or portals could be seen.


    “Lad, did you really think she was a virgin?” Whispered Rhendal, wheezing softly from his earlier laughter.


    “Don’t start with me grandpa! I made a mistake!” Growled Liam.


    Rhendal chuckled.


    “She’s a woman, what woman in her twenties doesn''t have three kids? Calling her a spinster, ha. Don’t you have Baron Green’s memories?”


    Liam threw up his hands in surrender, not wanting to explain the cultural differences between American reproductive culture and medieval coition. It was an impossible gap and Liam was trying his best to not get surly with his teacher. Rhendal was a good man, wise and skilled. Respect was a small token, earned thrice over when he saved Nyota''s life at the cost of his fingers, which still hadn''t healed. Currently they held his staff loosly, bandages wrapped around them. This was no cause to argue, they were having a difference of cultures. One that needed to be worked through with calm rationality… later.


    “I already said I made a mistake! Stop grilling me, and yes, I have some of his memories. But really Rhendal, the man was not the sharpest tool in the shed. Green was such a cocker that he doesn’t know his own knights! You wouldn''t believe the look Sir Lyon gave me when I called him by the correct name. Have mercy for a cripple, I’m trying my darndest but both hands are tied behind my back while vultures peck out my liver.”


    Rhendal stifled his laughter, wheezing his head as Liam spoke.


    “Ha, removing the bile is one way to improve your humors." Answered Rhendal, at the height of his cheekbones. "Ahem, alright. Baron Green was a detestable man, it lifts my soul to see his replacement is a man of greater moral fiber. I am curious, is your Sarah a virgin?” Asked Rhendal.


    “Well… No.”


    “And are you a virgin?”


    Liam was not liking where this was going.


    “Ahem, Rhendal, what are we talking about here?” He said cooly, strongly considering picking up the pace.


    Squat stone farmhouses were appearing in greater frequency, meaning Petra was undoubtibly within running distance.


    “I only mean to suggest, ah, that if you or her were not virginal, ahem, then why would you think ah, Nyota was?” Probed Rhendal, gasping for air between words.


    “Ah, that’s-. I didn’t think alright. I thought she was a maiden because she was a maid!” Ranted Liam.


    Rhendal’s riotous laughter almost drowned out Nyota’s redeeming fit of giggles. Which she hid under a hand and only gave away by the happy flicks of her ears and tail. Leaving Liam as the only one not in on the joke.


    “Knock it off.”


    It took Rhendal several moments to recover, wiping tears from his eyes before he could walk. Liam ignored him, and kept walking, not slowing his pace as the laughter dulled. A hand caught his shoulder.


    Liam yanked to a stop, his legs running forward while his torso paused. He fell, butt landing hard against the rocky road. He rolled sideways, aiming a finger gun towards the hand, ready to hurl lightning.


    Nyota stood atop the stone wall, fear in her eyes. Liam swallowed with his teeth, biting back a rebuke. Rhendal’s laughter was gone, looking back they both saw the sage wheezing towards them, a purple glow coming from his robes. Evidence of a nearby portal.


    “Stay here!” Shouted Nyota.


    Her voice was strong and clear. Something had caught her attention, an unknown entity she feared. Her ears flicked up and forward, straining to make heads or tails of the distant noise. Rhendal held the guiding purple crystal on a string, some magical force pulling it against gravity, towards nearby portals. Liam found his feet, straightening his spine for combat, staff in hand.


    Shouts of alarm carried across the fields, wafting through the air on a sickly wind and a horn of alarm blew once.


    “Nyota we have to go!” Roared Liam, breaking into a run.


    “Go on! -ah, Close the -ah portals! I’ll catch -ah.” Gasped Rhendal, slowing to a walk.


    Neither Nyota or Liam needed prompting, together they sprinted towards Petra. Nyota keeping pace with him easily despite the long hem of her maid’s dress uniform. Outrun by a maid in a full hemmed dress, Baron Green really was a tub of lard. The road ahead of them curved sharply, navigating around a cluster of tall oaks, rounding the bend. A town came into view. Dozens of squat stone houses lay between winding paths and narrow fields. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    People ran in terror, sprinting into nearby homes as purple disks of spinning energy winked in and out of existence, disgorging their contents at cockeyed intervals. Some expanding, others fading and in the middle of the road ahead lay the ugliest fish Liam had ever seen.


    It had the torso of a human, and the lower half of a fish, theoretically resembling a mermaid. Although that is where the resemblance stopped. Enormous black eyes spun wildly as the thing clawed the air, two rows of inch long fangs protruded from a jaw as wide as a tiger shark’s. It thrashed on the road, bloating like a microwaved marshmallow. Its mouth worked, gills flaring open as the creature tried to breathe and failed.


    What a terrible way to die… Aesphyxiation and bloating. Like a deep sea fish dragged to the surface.


    Liam put a bolt through it’s cranium, putting the nightmare mermaid out of it’s misery. It slumped over, flopping into a muddy puddle. Odd considering the dry road and clear skies, as if the monster had appeared covered in water. A strange development that he wished to investigate, opening his mouth only to have a dark purple orb appear in front of him.


    There it swirled, flattening, then expanding like a ball of pizza dough being tossed. The portal sprouted open, swelling to the width of six feet. A rim appeared along the edge of the portal, and the dark purple color faded to a clearer shade of lavender. Water cascaded from the portal, carrying another translucent mermaid into this world. It flopped onto the dirt, slender muscles giving it an unusually athletic appearance.


    Unlike the previous mermaid this one was recognizable as an attractive woman, complete with large eyes and a chest to make Nyota blush. The portal dumped water for an instant then *poofed* out of existence.


    Seconds passed as the creature examined them, eyeing the pair of land walkers with a calculating coldness. Then it tried to take a breath of air, fatally misunderstanding this world. A beating heart could be seen through it’s translucent chest as well as two lungs that expanded once then could not deflate. Panic immediately consumed the mermaid.


    Once more the translucent creature gurgled and gasped for air. It raised it’s arms, clawing at mouth and throat, manually opening her gills. She had never been out of water, a truth Liam deciphered from horrified balloons. Her expanding eyes, corrected Liam, deeply wishing the mermaid could be saved. This creature was no threat to him or Greenwood, what would happen if Liam was portaled to their homeland? He''d drown immediately, disoriented and alone. A sick way to die.


    The mermaid’s eyes swelled until they bugged out of their sockets, soft tissues such as skin and organs followed suit, expanding at the sudden loss of pressure. Liam watched the creature ballooned into an unrecognizable pile of soft flesh.


    It’s like a blobfish, they’ve adapted to deep sea pressures so low pressure kills them. What was their actual name? Monkfish maybe?


    “Pew.”


    She wasn’t a fish.


    And no sentient being deserved a death via extreme decompression sickness.


    Even if Rhendal opened a portal, there were no real bodies of water in the barony. The deepest would be the river near Sintra, where the river widened and ran slowly. Baron Green knew of a Sintran custom where women would drop trinkets into the river and hopeful suitors would dive after the trinkets. Ultimately confirming the Yrendel river’s shallow depths.


    Unsuitable for a mermaid, especially one who was used to hundreds or maybe even thousands of feet of water pressure. Relocating the mermaids would only drain Rhendal’s mana and drag out the mermaids’ suffocation.


    What a stupid plan, attack a rock-farm with merfolk? That’s too dumb, even for an act of God… Maybe Blackwood found a relic of the old gods and is using that…? Still, an artifact like that would be too valuable for petty revenge.


    “Rhendal, have you ever heard of an artifact that creates or summons monsters? Something that is one-of-a-kind, like an old god’s cock and balls or their scepter or something.” Asked Liam.


    No answer came, largely because Rhendal was still walking up the road towards Petra.


    More shouts came from the village, prompting Liam forward. He sped into the town, finding more than a score of villagers stabbing the nightmare mermaids with zeal. Sickles and pitchforks hacked the blobby creatures to death, then slashed through their limbs.


    Petra did not need him at all. Robust farmers provided numbers and five uniformed militiamen directed them, slaughtering the fish people with an efficiency that startled Liam. And made Baron Green proud.


    “Oi you with the fancy pants! Tis ain’t no place for a lily like- Move!” Shouted a farmer, waving his arms in warning to Liam.


    A purple orb had appeared next to Liam, close enough he could have reached out and touched it. He sidestepped the orb, watching carefully as the orb spun and flattened, trying to glean some shred of knowledge from the close examination of the portal. Water churned on the far side, spraying Liam. It tastes salty and painfully cold. A merman appeared on the far side of the portal, trident raised as he swam forward.


    “Pew.”


    A lightning bolt lanced into the portal, causing it to shimmy and pop.


    Two more portals appeared above the town.


    “Shoot the portals!” Shouted Rhendal, finally catching up to his lord.


    “Pew Pew” Mouthed Liam.


    Bolts of lightning flew from his fingertips, lancing the portals like a hot needle through a pimple. The portals popped with a reverberation of power, emanating shockwaves of mana in a final death rattle.


    Liam readied his finger guns, scanning the village as the townsfolk spread out, guided by the militia. A moment of silence passed, the men listening for any sounds be they friend, foe, or in need of help. Complete muteness greeted them, ensuring their safety. Without missing a heartbeat the militiamen divided the farmers into groups of five, scattering them to search each nearby home. While several men began clearing away the bodies, dragging them towards a long welling with three chimneys. Smoke rising from each, a smokehouse, where meats were seasoned and smoked.


    “A battlemage! The Baron must have sent you to protect us, thank you! But, how are you here? We only sent the messenger yesterday…” Began one of the Militiamen, jogging towards Liam before slowing.


    Caution filled his eyes and his grip tightened on his spear. The man’s deference blanched into fear as he saw Nyota’s ears and lack of a collar. Two militiamen trailed the lead man, each wearing some sort of rank insignia. Strange that there were three all clustered together in one town. Liam ignored their questions, already exhausted by the events of Avignon and his run here.


    “I am Baron Green, explain how you live when Avignon has fallen.”