Chapter 57


    Usually, when I woke up I was being held in the arms of my husband. I would be wrapped up and warm


    in his embrace but here I was alone, without his warmth. That was the first sign that I knew thatst


    night was not just going to be forgotten.


    We had not said a word to each other the entire way home. And when we got to our room we didn’t


    even speak. I got ready for bed and he excused himself saying that he had work that he needed to


    attend to.


    I wanted to follow after him and clean up the mess I had made but I knew that he wanted space right


    then. He was mad and when Damon was mad he needed to be left alone to breathe, I was thest


    person he wanted to be conversing with


    When I woke up I had been nning to speak to him. I nned an apology and everything but he


    wasn’t there. I went downstairs and found him gone.


    It was bad this time. I tried texting and calling but his phone was going unanswered. He was really mad


    and for the first time, I was worried about what this could do to our marriage.


    I knew that we were solid and nothing would break us so easily but this was something else entirely. It


    had never gotten to the point where we were ignoring each other.


    And now I was on a ne headed to Vancouver to view a site for the next 48 hours. I hadn’t even


    spoken to my husband before I left.


    Me: Baby, I know you’re mad and I messed up. I’m so sorry and I promise when I get back I will make it


    up to you.


    Me: I’m boarding the ne now. I’ll see you in three days. I love you.


    Me: Baby, please talk to me. Let me know you’re okay at least. Have you eaten? Will you be at home?


    Did you go back to Vegas?


    All those texts went unanswered.


    I had given up hope when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket right before taking off and when I looked


    down I saw his name and a message under it. But all hopes of it being some kind of reconciliation


    message were thwarted when I just read two


    words.


    Damon: I’m fine.


    That was it, after the calls and texts he just sent me two words that might as well have been a knife


    being sliced right into my heart. I knew that I had messed up but was this truly the way to handle our


    marriage?


    He had been the one to tell me to follow my dream. He had been the one to tell me that he would follow


    me and support me. I had been the one to hold back. I had been the one to say that if he didn’t feel it


    was working then we could leave. But he had not uttered the words, I want to leave! I had given him


    multiple outs and now he was doing this


    I’d told him that this would be hard and he had said that he was up for it and now that we were in the


    hard part he was crucifying me for it. I knew that I had my part to y in all of this but he wasn’t totally


    innocent either.


    A mixture of confusion and anger filtered into my body. But it wasn’t the rage kind of anger but more so


    the anger that simmered lowly in the depths of your belly. It was the kind of anger that if not fully


    allowed to take root would soon grow to resentment and rage and I didn’t want that.


    I didn’t want to grow to hate my husband, I didn’t want to be put into a position to have to choose


    between my purpose iny love.


    He had said I could have both. So why could I not have both now?


    “This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts as we are getting ready for take-off.” The


    little bell in the ne dinged.


    and


    With a heavy heart in my chest and tears pricking my eyes, I knew that the next three days were going


    to be a bag of mixed


    N?velDrama.Org owns this.


    emotions. But I also knew that I had to keep it professional. I had to put on a good face in front of Steve


    and Marcus. I was deep into this project now and there was no turning back.


    After three days of site viewings and meeting with some of the production people I was feeling great


    about the movie. We officially announced the cast yesterday and the entire inte was a buzz. I had


    friends and family messaging me and congratting me on this new endeavor. But it didn’t matter how


    many well wishes flooded in when they weren’t from the one person I needed them to be from.


    Damon and 1 had barely spoken since the restaurant and it was killing me. He was the one person that


    I wanted to tell everything to and now I couldn’t even be fully excited because he was mad at me.


    When I got home I had been expecting to find him there but instead, I found a note that read that he


    had traveled to Vegas to think, away from LA, and that he would be back soon.


    Well, the exact words written were:


    Dear Adie,


    I know things have been weird between us but I just want you to know that I still love you and that will


    never change. But I need some time to think some things over.


    All my love.


    Damon.


    I can’t tell you how long I sat and cried on the couch reading his words over and over again. Each time


    I read the note the pain only increased and increased I didn’t know how long he was going to be gone


    or what was going on in his head.


    The scariest thing for me was not knowing and my overthinking mind. I remember I fell asleep on the


    couch that night hugging that letter to my chest and when I woke up I was still without my husband.


    I spent the entire day holding myself back from texting him like I wanted to. I was trying to respect the


    fact that he had requested space but that space was killing me. So, I decided to find my loophole-Lacey


    She was a very good friend of Damon and I knew that if he went to Vegas then he would have likely


    gone and seen her to


    talk


    Me: Hey Lacey


    Lacey: Hey my sweet. I have a feeling I know what this is all about.


    I sighed, so he went to her. I don’t know why but it filled me with a little bit of jealousy at the fact that he


    had chosen to speak to her without wanting to speak to me. But I pushed my bit of hurt feelings down.


    Me: How much do you know?


    Lacey: Not much, he didn’t talk much of the actual events that caused him to be in Vegas but rather the


    fact that you him are drifting apart.


    Drifting apart. I hated those words.


    and


    Me: It’s all my fault. I should have been more mindful about our time alone and I should have cared for


    his feelings. Work has just been consuming every waking moment of my life.


    Lacey: Girl, I of all people understand what the grind means for you. But at the same time, you need to


    understand that your marriage hasn’t even reached a full year yet so you need to nurture it. A nt


    dies if it doesn’t get enough water


    She was right.


    Me: How is he?


    I worried that he wasn’t eating or he was closing himself off to people again. I had watched the light


    slowly return to my husband’s eyes when we were fake married and now I had been the same person


    to snuff it out. But I was determined to bring it back again.


    Lacey: Heartbroken.


    That damn well near broke me.


    Lacey: But he misses you, all he can do is talk about you.


    I needed to save my marriage.


    Me: Lacey I need your help.


    Come what may, me and Damon were walking out of this hand in hand. Even if it meant that I had to


    walk away from the movie. I would do it because he was worth far more to me than any


    aplishment I could achieve. I just hoped it wasn’t


    toote.