68: Finally, Some Answers
<span style="font-weight:400">I rushed to get cleaned up while Dawn washed her hands, both of us giggling wildly as we did so. God, I loved my girlfriend so much. We were such a perfect fit for each other.
<span style="font-weight:400">It didn’t take me long to clean up, and I hopped back down the stairs in a rush. I was excited to meet Kimberly and finally see the girl behind the character I had met ingame. I really hoped she wasn’t involved with Kristina’s disappearance though. As much as I disliked her, my ex didn’t deserve to get kidnapped or killed or anything.
<span style="font-weight:400">Honestly, what she deserved was to realise just how shitty she had been, and just how shitty her entire church was. That was what all awful people deserved, to realise the error of their ways and live with the guilt. Sadly, I doubted she would ever have that realisation.
<span style="font-weight:400">On a whim, I decided to take a one minute shower. I knew she was probably waiting anxiously outside, but I was covered in sweat and my own wetness. Once I was clean and dressed once again, I bolted out of the bathroom and down the stairs.
<span style="font-weight:400">I came to an abrupt halt halfway down when I got a look at the girl standing awkwardly in our living room. She was tall and willowy, with short blonde hair and a somewhat boyish look about her. She looked like the type of girl who yed ser at a regional level, but was too anxious to reallymit to her skills. If that makes any sense.
<span style="font-weight:400">She saw meing down and gave me the most shy, tentative smile I’d ever seen on a human being before. “Hey.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Her eyes were a bright blue, unsettlingly so, and I found myself staring at them for a hairsbreadth too long. “Hey! Are you the mysterious Kimberly?”
<span style="font-weight:400">“A-ah, yeah,” she nodded, her eyes bouncing all over the ce but at me. She looked so scared and shy!
<span style="font-weight:400">“Sorry about not being there when Dawn let you in,” I said, moving down the stairs towards her. “Had to wash up. You know how we are.”
<span style="font-weight:400">She nodded, then blinked as though she had only just processed what I meant. Her cheeks med up with understanding, highlighting a scattering of freckles across her cheekbones and nose. She was so heart-achingly cute. The epitome of adorabutch. Which was an interesting juxtaposition with her very feminine appearance ingame.
<span style="font-weight:400">Her embarrassment gave me time to reach her, and I didn’t hesitate at all to wrap her up into a close, familiar hug. Girl obviously needed it, considering how awkward and anxious she looked.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Rx, Kimmy,” I murmured, resting my head on her shoulder. She was taller than me by half a foot, which was not something I had expected. “We’re friends, you’re allowed to be here. More than allowed, we’re happy to see you.”
<span style="font-weight:400">She was stiff and unyielding for a few seconds, then slowly she began to unravel, until she was clutching at me like a baby animal. “Thank you. It’s been a really stressful week.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Dawn walked back into the room from the downstairs bathroom at that moment, so I let Kimberly go and flopped myself down onto the sofa. My girlfriend joined me with a smile, and we both motioned for our guest to do the same.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Yeah,” I said, picking the conversation back up. “Do we get to know what you’ve been up to, now?”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Uh… escaping,” she mumbled, hugging one of our throw pillows to her chest. “From my parents, my family… everyone I’ve ever known. Well, except everyone in our party, I guess.”
<span style="font-weight:400">I opened my mouth to say that we’d looked her up, but Dawn quietly squeezed my arm, silencing me.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Your religious church parents?” I asked instead. That’s what she’d told us earlier, after all.
<span style="font-weight:400">Kimberly blew out a long, even breath. “Yes. God, where do I begin?”
<span style="font-weight:400">Her hands were shaking, I noticed, and she swallowed air while she tried to order her thoughts. She frowned, almost like she was having an argument with herself, then pursed her lips and looked up.
<span style="font-weight:400">“I was… part of an enve of church fanatics within Canada,” she said slowly. “Originally, we were just a tiny rural town in the middle of nowhere. Then the war happened and… we lost. I mean, they lost. America and the church. The borders closed and we got stuck on this side of it.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Right,” Dawn nodded beside me, fingernails digging into my arm now. Yeah, I know, girl. It sounds weird, considering what we know. Just let her talk.
<span style="font-weight:400">“There was a lot of anti-church hate at that time, for obvious reasons. So we had to disguise ourselves,” our mysterious friend continued. “The Naturalists were an easy target to imitate, they had conves all over the area anyway. We just pretended to be a sect that didn’t get along very well with the others. That was obviously way before I was born.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Wait, really?” my girlfriend blurted, looking surprised. Me too, babe, me too.
<span style="font-weight:400">Kimberly nodded, looking almost ashamed. “Yeah. I always had reservations about the whole… the whole thing. I used to go on supply runs with my um, my parents, and I’d see things, you know? We had the FTLN too, a hidden node. Did you know that anyone can ess it, so long as you have some of that material that makes it work? There’s protocols in ce on the server side across the whole world, firewalls and such, but the actual connection itself is… there’s only one FTLN.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“I think May mentioned it once,” I said, trying to remember what my little sister had said while she was babbling one time while I made dinner.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Anyway, I could see the rest of the world beyond ourpound. I knew it wasn’t the raging hellscape that our bible tells us,” she said with a shrug. “Meeting you, Tami, that was the final nail in the coffin of my belief. I couldn’t do it anymore. You and everyone else, you were so good, so happy. If god existed and he believed you were living lives of sin, why were you so happy. Why is the republic locked up, a nation of prisoners? I mean, I could go on and on about how little sense the church’s dogma makes, but you probably already know.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Oh yeah, we’re aware,” Dawn grumbled. Her hand wasn’t crushing my arm anymore. She was starting to believe what Kimmy was saying. I know I did, but I knew I was too trusting for my own good.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Then there was the part where the republic was using us as a staging area to do some pretty nasty shit in UN-aligned nations,” she said with a shudder. Her gaze gained a few thousand yards as she turned to stare out across the inside of the arcology. “Really nasty shit. I even helped with some of it, in a minor sense.”
<span style="font-weight:400">I wanted to hug her again. This was the real cost of conflicts like the UN-AR war. Entire living minds ground to a pulp, sacrificed upon the altar of whatever cause everyone was fighting over. Kimberly would be living with the damage it had done to her psyche for the rest of her existence. She could move on, learn, grow, and be happy, but there would always be the memories.
<span style="font-weight:400">“We had May look you up,” I said quietly, rather than getting up to hug her. “We were worried about you. She followed some info and we… yeah, we thought you were a real Naturalist.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Her eyes snapped back to meet mine, wide with fright. “You did?”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Yeah,” I sighed, hoping it was the right thing to tell her. “You were so cagey about it all.”
<span style="font-weight:400">She swallowed hard and nodded. “I think I understand. You couldn’t trust me. I mean, you met me because I tried to steal that egg from you.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Dawn and I immediately shared a look. “Why did you want the egg?”
<span style="font-weight:400">“I don’t know,” Kimberly said sadly, eyes downcast. “I think my mother realised I wasn’t so… zealous anymore. I’ve been kept out of the loop for a long time, they didn’t trust me either. I couldn’tmit to being who they wanted me to be, and I couldn’tmit to leaving either. Until now. Until after I had already hurt people, until after they had already used me for a stupid… a stupid test of loyalty. I—”
<span style="font-weight:400">“We had May look into your identity because we were worried,” I said, cutting her off. She’d been getting more and more upset as she exined things, and I could see she was having trouble saying all of this out loud.
<span style="font-weight:400">My tone was soft and soothing as I continued, “Trust isn’t a clear cut binary, either. You can trust someone to heal you in a virtual game, but not with your whole life. You can trust someone to love you unconditionally, but also <i><span style="font-weight:400">not</i><span style="font-weight:400"> trust them to pay you back when they ask to borrow money. I can trust Dawn to love me from the bottom of her heart, but I can’t trust her to make a good moist chicken roast. We’re your friends, we were worried, and we didn’t trust you not to do something stupid and get hurt.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Her gaze flicked back up to meet mine with surprise. “Y-you were worried?”
<span style="font-weight:400">Kimberly looked so small right then, despite being pretty tall. She was cringed in on herself, fighting her tears with her arms curled tight about her waist. My heart ached,passion welling up within me as I realised just how much this girl needed us, needed our friendship. She’d abandoned everything she ever knew on the off chance that we’d ept her, because she knew she was being used for evil. God, what a shitty fucking deal life had given her.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Of course we were worried,” I murmured gently, and this time I did get up. I made my way around the coffee table and sat next to her, pulling the silently crying girl into my arms. “We’re your friends.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“But we’ve only known each other for like… a few weeks,” she said, voice rasping through her pain.
<span style="font-weight:400">“So?” Dawn snorted from back on the other sofa. “Anyone who measures a friendship in purely objective time is a fucking moron.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“I don’t deserve your friendship. I haven’t even told you about what I did, what I—” she sobbed, and there she finally broke, crying freely in my arms. Dawn and I shared a look over her head, one that held so many different emotions it would have been impossible to describe it. We both felt for Kimberly. We’d lost a friend to the very same cult that she had just escaped, after all.
<span style="font-weight:400">Stroking her hair, I told her with the utmost kindness, “Kimmy, please tell your brain to shut the fuck up and take the love we’re offering, okay? We’re your friends, we get to decide if we think you are worthy of our friendship. Especially when you are so obviously bad at judging yourself. We also don’t need to know about every shitty little thing you’ve done. We can see that you’re a good person <i><span style="font-weight:400">now</i><span style="font-weight:400">, and that’s what matters. I’ve done some pretty stupid and nasty shit in my time, we all have. It’s chill.”
<span style="font-weight:400">I could hear her getting ready to protest again, so I kept talking over the top of her. “Plus, I’ve done some shit that is on the embarrassing side too. It’s just the past. I don’t care about it, neither does Dawn or any of the others. We like <i><span style="font-weight:400">you</i><span style="font-weight:400">, the person you are now. Shit, five years ago I was a brick headed fuckboy who thought that making fart noises whenever the teacher bent over to help someone was fun. I can pretty much guarantee Dawn wouldn’t have been into me back then.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“You’re still that kind of person now, you’re just a fuckgirl instead,” Dawnmented wryly. “And I’m definitely into you now.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Kimberly’s sobbing was interrupted by a sweet little giggle, and she cuddled closer against me, breathing in deeply. She seemed to be calming down, although I really hoped I could help her with whatever was eating at herter. Not now though, now she needed to look forward. She was free, and we needed to put a big ol’ full stop down in the story of her life so she could get moving into the next chapter.
<span style="font-weight:400">Dawn got up off the sofa with a sudden burst of speed and dered, “You know what we need? Really fucking good food. I’m going to order pizza. Then maybe we can watch a movie about the church getting railed or something, for cathartic purposes.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Railed <i><span style="font-weight:400">how</i><span style="font-weight:400">, exactly?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.
<span style="font-weight:400">That got a reaction from Kimberly, who coughed and snorted out a surprisedugh. “Jesus, you two.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Ay, she’s using the fancy cross boy’s name in vain!” Dawn said, pping her hands excitedly. “The rehabilitation is going well!”
<span style="font-weight:400">“I’m pretty sure I’m still sort of christian,” Kimberly mumbled, looking almost ashamed by the admission.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Oh, I wasn’t talking about religion, I was talking about the pole that is ritually shoved up the ass of every church believer,” Dawn called from the kitchen. “It takes a lot of healing to get used to freedom of bowel movement again.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Oh my goodness,” Kimberly muttered, blushing up a storm again. I hugged her tight to my side andughed. Then, spontaneously, I pressed a little kiss to her cheek. She went even redder. “Tami!”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Yes?” I asked mischievously. “What’s wrong?”
<span style="font-weight:400">Her adorable, freckled face went all pouty as she said, “You know what!”
<span style="font-weight:400">Iughed again and ruffled her hair. “It’s a special asion, you escaped the crazy cult. I’d like to hear more, but I think you’ve exined enough about everything for now. More questions cane when you feel like giving answers. For now, I’d like to show you what life is like out here in the normal world.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Life out in the normal world apparently meaning, being fucked quick, hot, and dirty by your girlfriend, then immediately jumping into the task of soothing your traumatized friend. Life was wild like that, I guess. I could definitely use a break from it, maybe punch some dudes to let off steam. Yeah, definitely punch some dudes.