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AliNovel > Trouble With Horns > 57: The Idiot

57: The Idiot

    57: The Idiot


    <span style="font-weight: 400">The angel crew had more to the n than simply flying down out of the mountains. They had a n to force our enemies to split themselves up. Since we had far better mobility than them with our wings, most of the group went for Vas, while a smaller decoy group flew south towards Santarriral and the Duchess of Parcosia.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Being high up in the sky, it would be impossible for our enemies to tell which group had the crown and which was a fakeout. The more obvious choice for a good leader was to the south, and it wasn’t hard to see we were the type of people who actually cared about that kind of thing. Sadly, we knew we wouldn’t make it there, so we were heading towards Vas and the next best idiot with power.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Once the two groups had flown enough to force our enemies to make a choice between chasing the southern group or not, they would wheel back around and rejoin the main column. Everyone without wings was obviously headed west, and people would be able to see it. Hopefully the doubt would be enough to draw some people off our asses.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">The flight was tough on my wings, but the way Dawn clung to me was simply divine. I loved feeling her all pressed up against me, it was so fucking good.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Civette looked like she was glued to Ethilie in a simr manner. It was kinda cute to see, although I hoped the angel woman would be gentle with our broken little healer. She needed love and attention first and foremost.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">As we began to lose altitude, we could see converging parties from all directions, and I felt my excitement rise as I saw each and every one. This was going to be a fucking shitshow and I was so here for it.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“This is going to be a roughnding,” Dawn yelled into my ear as we saw the enemy gather at where we would be forced tond.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">An evil thought urred to me in that moment, and with a spreading grin, I asked, “Say… how about we make this a roughnding for <i><span style="font-weight: 400">them</i><span style="font-weight: 400"> instead. You can survive this fall right?”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Yeah, definitely… and also yes, definitely,” sheughed, cing a kiss to my cheek. “This will be awesome, let’s fuck their shit up, babe.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Okay should I just, throw you at them?” I asked, loving every part of this idea already.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Do it.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">My wings were pretty tired, but with a little help from my speed boost I was able to get some height back. Enough for a proper dive, right into the face of oing fire. Arrows and spells flew past, thankfully missing us as I made for center mass of the grouped enemies on the road ahead. Looks like they weren’t fighting each other, unlike the clusterfuck outside the dungeon.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">I released Dawn and watched as she was pulled away above me. Huh. Dunno what she was doing, but I had my job. I pulled as many abilities as possible out, electrifying my whole body and elerating my speed to ludicrous degrees. Both rocket drives kicked in with intense force,bining with my momentum amplifier to make my descent truly cataclysmic.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">My impact was heralded by the boom of thunder, my fist rupturing the cobblestone road with devastating force. My emergency shield exploded, but took enough of the damage to keep me whole. Interestingly, the lightning within my body discharged in a wave from the epicenter, shocking anyone who was hit by it and temporarily locking them in ce as their muscles seized.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Standing, I nced around with a smile of exquisite joy. That was when fire began to rain down from above, scorching anyone and anything that wasn’t me. I think this lot were just every random opportunist, because my word they were so much squishier than that first group.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">My eyes blew wide when I saw Dawn, embodying her name in the way a goddess does. Her body was as ck as night, cracks of burning heat showing through all over while her eyes zed like twin suns. Out of her back sprouted to massive wings of molten fire, the limbs crackedva while the feathers were bright me.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Her sword was nowhere to be seen, instead each wingbeat rained balls of white hot me, her hands joining in with scorching beams of death. Jesus, I guess I wasn’t the only one with some sort of ultimate form. When the hell had she gained <i><span style="font-weight: 400">that?</i>


    <span style="font-weight: 400">She wasn’t invulnerable though, so I got to work taking out any attempt to shoot her down. My first target was a girl trying desperately to take aim with some channeled spell or other. My rocket powered fist took her in the face, sending her cartwheeling backwards. shing past her, I spun in a kick that put her into the ground, almost literally. That problem was solved.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Her friends were none too pleased with me though, and I found myself fending off a very grumpy tank. Too bad for him I had a girlfriend who was just as protective of me as I was of her. He cooked in his nice shiny armour, the game yanking the plug on him before he could experience the hell that dying inside that deathtrap would have been.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">The rogue in the group thought he was being sneaky, but his de hit air as I dropped into a crouch. He stared at me in confusion as my fingers closed around his ankle, then squealed in fear as I leapt back into the air with him still very much in my group.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Reuniting him with his healer probably happened in a way that neither of them would have preferred, and both exploded as the lightning I’d charged into the rogue detonated.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Mage, Tank, Rogue and Healer... taken care of. Good, onwards.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">The Ravensmiths fell on our enemies amongst this chaos, and I watched with glee as none of them were able to put up a credible defence against the onught of holy feathered warriors. It was a fucking massacre, and I was able to sit back with hand on hip as the ughter spread.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Wow,” someone whistled, and I turned to find Ethilie gently touching down next to me, depositing a Civette who didn’t quite look ready to let go of her yet. “You’ll probably have to pay the Duke for the road, I hope you know that.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Worth,” I grinned, cycling some of my gauntlets’ponents to get chunks of said road out of them. The whirring crunching sounds they made were satisfying on a primal level.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Typical,” Civette muttered, making a great big show of dusting herself off.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Goodness, the girl was adorable. Adorable and grumpy, that is. “How was the flight, was Ethilie gentle with you?” I asked, thoroughly enjoying the wide eyed blushing look that I got in return for my words.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“It was… fine,” Civette muttered, refusing to look at both me and her taxi angel.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Ethilie’s face took on an expression of shocked hurt, and she ced a hand over her heart. “Just… fine? I did everything in my power to make youfortable!”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Okay, it was more than fine! Thank you for flying me here,” Civ blurted quickly, evidently not catching the angel’s yful undertones.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“I was joking, dear healer,” Ethilie said, breaking out into a grin, hand going out to ruffle the blonde girl’s hair. “Just joking, although I was d to be of service.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Civette still refused to meet either of our eyes, choosing to continue pouting at the ground. She was saved from further teasing by Lauric and Taylor touching down beside us. Thetter letting Millie off her back.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Lauric began speaking immediately. “This is the hard part. I’d like to keep Taylor and the rest of your party in the center of our formation while we move for the city.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Some of my chat moderators just messaged me,” Taylor said, staring at a messenger window. “Looks like the duke has gotten wind of this, the ducal guard is mobilising and we don’t know if they will be friendly or antagonistic.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Shit, alright…” Lauric frowned, watching as his guild cleaned up the quick battle and began to form ranks around us. Dawn was still flying around raining death on the stragglers. “Okay, tell the other party toe and make to reinforce us. If the duke and his boys aren’t friendly, we’ll pivot and go south.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">That would absolutely suck, and significantly lower our chances of getting that crown and sword to someone who’d actually reward us. I really hoped the duke was friendly.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">As they continued to talk, Dawn dropped down next to me, extinguishing her crazy fire form in the same moment. “Hey,” she said, giving me a cocky wink. “What did you think?”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Hot,” I replied, cheeky grin on full disy. I leaned in, cupping her cheek to hold her steady for my lips to makending. The kiss turned deeper than I’d intended, with her grabbing me by the head and holding me there.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">When she released me, it was to give me an adoring stare. “You’re a dork and I love you.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“I love you too,” I smiled, feeling my heart flutter as her words reached my soul.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Come on lovebirds, we’re moving!” Taylor called, and sure enough, the Ravensmith’s column had begun to make its way down the road.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">The fighting was tough, and trapped as we were on the ground, we began to take casualties. Several times, Dawn and I were called upon to break an enemy formation, Lauric having loved the initial strike we did earlier. We needed the follow up support of his guild though, our tactic might have killed a few and sent them into disarray, but there was a point each time where they began to gather themselves again. That was the point where the Ravensmiths hit them, dashing and chance they had of regrouping.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Afternoon wore on this way, every few miles we’d meet another group that wanted to test us, and each time they failed. We began to get reinforcements too, the first Ravensmiths who’d fallen having respawned and made their way back to us.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">As soon as the enemy realised that we were respawning, most began to back off, realising that we were all but farming them at this point. It was pretty satisfying to see them stand back and simply watch us pass them by on the road. Yeah, that’s right… don’t fuck with us.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">I was tired as a sparrow trying to fly into a hurricane as the city finally came into, and I groaned in weary resignation as I saw the Duke’s men all lined up in front of the gates. Dude better meet us with a smile or I was going to orphan his fuckin’ kids, I swear.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">We pulled up to a halt about two hundred meters from their lines, and Lauric called our party up to the fore with him. “We’re going to walk out there and wait halfway, see if someonees out to meet us. I hope to god that they do, because we’re fucked if we have to fight them. Those NPCs are OP as fuck.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Good a n as any,” Taylormented, shucking her shoulders as she readied herself for whatever was toe.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Heading out into that t stretch of road between the two formations was nerve wracking, especially when it became clear just how outnumbered we were. There must have been a full thousand of the ducal guard standing before the city gates.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">It wasn’t long before we saw a matching party move out from their ranks, and we waited with anxious, bated breath as they made their way towards us.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">I saw several regr guardsman with their group, but also three men who were obviously important. Directly at their center was a man whose golden armour bore a small circlet atop the helmet.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Holy shit, that’s the Duke himself,” Lauric muttered, passing a meaningful look to Taylor.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“I reckon that means we’re in business,” my sister said with a note of relief in her voice.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Lauric nodded agreement as the other party arrived,ing to a slow halt several meters away.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Greetings, Blessed adventurers!” the Duke called, stepping forward. His tone made it sound like he was giving a grand announcement rather than meeting a potentially hostile force in pay.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Greetings, your grace,” Lauric bowed, motioning for the rest of us to do so as well.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">As we did so, the man gave a chuckle, “Oh, no need for that. If what I have heard is true, each and every one of your brave band is a hero! A <i><span style="font-weight: 400">hero</i><span style="font-weight: 400">, I dare say!”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Okay… not what I was expecting…


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Oh, uh… yeah,” Lauric blinked, clearly taken aback by the duke’s strange enthusiasm.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Tell me, did you really find it? Did you really delve deep into the cursed caves and find the crown?” he asked, lowering his voice to as much of a whisper as he could without us losing the ability to hear him at all.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Uh, yeah… we did,” Taylor said, summoning the crown from her inventory. “The six of us,” she continued, pointing to our party. “Then my guild, the Ravensmiths came to help secure it for you, as well as another called Hale’s Hope.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“By the gods,” he breathed, staring at the dusty golden relic. “It’s really true… after so many years. You six… you six will live in legend.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Oh-kay… that was… a bit much, actually. This guy sounded like he was going to nut over the whole thing.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“We also found the sword that the old king originally went down there to find, by the way,” Taylor said, summoning the sword as well. Damn that thing was pretty.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">This time, the Duke really did make a sound like he was having an orgasm. “May I step closer, to see them?”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Uh… sure, but we’d really like to know what the n after this is,” Taylor said cautiously, eyeing the enthusiastic duke up like he was a dude she’d just met at a club and she was trying to figure out if he was hitting on her or just really friendly.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Ah, rewards!” he eximed, pping himself in the side of the head like he’d forgotten it. It made a ringing sound and I had to stifle my amusement as I saw him shake his head to clear the sound from his ears. “Yes… rewards,” he mumbled, clearly having brained himself with that little maneuver. “I would not dream of taking these incredible relics out of your hands until we have discussed proper reward for your heroics.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Okay, that’s a relief. We’ve been fighting people who wanted it for themselves for like a day straight now,” Taylor said with a sigh, although she didn’t entirely drop her guard.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Yes, vultures, the lot of them!” the Duke eximed with an emphatic wave of his arm. “If they had been true heroes, they would have gone down into that wretched pit themselves and retrieved it! You six are true heroes however, and as I said, you deserve a reward to match your valor! I ask that you please stow the relics until we have discussed the details.”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Wait, you want me to put them back into my um… inventory?” Taylor asked, her confusion mirrored in the faces of our entire group.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“Of course!” the man opposite us eximed. “To ask otherwise would be to tempt their loss to others, and I have no need to take them from you by force, nor would I ever want to! It wouldn’t be very <i><span style="font-weight: 400">kingly</i><span style="font-weight: 400"> of me now would it?” he said thest with a wink, and it was about then that I realised something.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">This guy was an idiot. A good one, but he very clearly bought into the whole knights in shining armour thing. He wanted to be a king of legend, the ones that fought to protect their borders, took care of the sick and was loved by all. It looked like he really <i><span style="font-weight: 400">truly</i><span style="font-weight: 400"> believed all that crap. Which meant… he might just be perfect for the role. So long as he could find a set of good advisors and ministers. Ones that wouldn’t manipte him into doing evil shit.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“So, what’s the n then, uh… your grace?” my sister asked, and I could see she hade to the same conclusion that I had.


    <span style="font-weight: 400">“My guard and I will escort you, your party and your guild through the city and to safety,” he said, puffing out his chest. “There, we will discuss the just rewards that you all deserve. Then, of course… <i><span style="font-weight: 400">we will feast!</i><span style="font-weight: 400">”


    <span style="font-weight: 400">Oh, now he was speaking mynguage. I wonder if he’d let me shadow the chefs to see how they did things. That would be super interesting.


    <i ss="fa fa-exmation-triangle" aria-hidden="true" style="padding-right:5px;"></i> Announcement


    Hello everyone, thanks for reading! If you''ve enjoyed this story so far, you might enjoy my other ones! Check out my profile and click on the "series" tab to find more!


    If that doesn''t satisfy you, I also have a number of patreon exclusive stories. Here''s a  and some descriptions of the stories you can find there.


    <strong>Digital Gxies: </strong>Set in the troubleverse, one year after Trouble with Horns began. Kicked out of home for being a failure, y only has his online friends to turn to. Barely finished moving in with them, they all decide to escape from reality for a while by diving into the newest Sci-fi VRMMO, Digital Gxies. For some strange reason, y feels drawn to ying as a small fox girl, rather than the guy his friends expect. Follow the adventures of a small but plucky crew of 8 as they careen around the gxy getting up to all sorts of shenanigans.


    <strong>College Steps: </strong>Story about a trans girl called de navigating her way through college life, a gay awakening and a rivalry with a really cute girl. Also her roommate is crazy.


    <strong>Esmie the Cmity: </strong>A troubleverse story about two friends making a let''s y in CORA. Very very goofy story, please don''t take it seriously O.O
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