I flipped lazily through the book in my lap only pausing to read my favorite quotes. The book was titled Candide[1] and written by a cynic named Voltaire who wrote down a short satire masked by an intriguing adventure.


    Candide being the title and name of the protagonist was Voltaire''s catalyst for showing an honest and innocent outlook on all the negative but hysterically ridiculous themes in the book. The book was ranked among the few of my favorites because the books ability mock anything considered respectable tearing down theological, moral, and scientific philosophies as if they were the most foolish things conceivable.


    I closed the loose leaf book mildly annoyed at not being able to continue re-reading and turned to gaze out the car window and ponder metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology.[2] “Atticus why don’t you put up some music.” said my mother


    “ok.” I replied. I played some jazz, using the Aux cord, now pondering how I could drastically change the history of the world if I were to go back in time with the knowledge I possesed. Mostly I would use it to advance technology centuries before the ideas were even conceived potentiallycreating a better future for humanity.


    I shifted uncomfortably on my seat still sore from the daily torture that I endured, but honestly enjoyed, every morning during my cross country practice. With a lazy yawn I stretched out my arms triggering the soreness from my abs and shoulders while thinking that if I mechanized agriculturewith a steel manufacturing industry there would be a rise in the government''s avaliable capital.


    “Alright! We are here!” my mother said energetically. Looking out the window I saw the house of my best friend Chris who went to highschool with me. We both ran in cross country naturally causing us to shead both blood and sweat together through our freshmen and sophomore year. It was his birthday and I was definitely not going to miss the chance to embarrass him in front of all the girls he most likely invited.


    My mom parked the car on the sidewalk across the street and we both got off and headed for the door of his house.    ” wait I forgot my phone in the car. Go inside and i’ll go back and get it.” said my mom “oh my-” I said teasingly as I paused and continued to walk to the door of the house.


    I knocked three times hearing The Beatles music playing behind the red door thinking “yep classic Chris” as the door opened revealing his father. I forgot his name of despite having eaten with him during every meal of the day at least once and getting a 40 min ride after countless practices, all the way to my house.


    A personal flaw of mine, I admit it, not being able to retain names of people that fall under the category of a friend but in my defence it’s not like he is the worst case. I didn’t know the name of one of my closest friend Anthony until four years after I met him....i''ve known my friends father for two and a half years so it''s not the worst.


    “Hey, how''s it going?” I said said cheerily purposely avoiding having to say his name seeing as how I was too close to ask what his name was. “Hey Atticus! Come in, Chris is out back by the pool cooking some hamburgers for all the guest they should be ready soon.” He said. “Oh nice, hopefully chris is better at flipping burgers than he is at running.” I said jokingly, already knowing that we were too comfortable with each other for such daring words to bother him.


    “Oh he better be.” He replied with a small chuckle as I walked into the house. “Where is your mom? Is she going to stay?” he asked as noticing I was alone. “On she''s just getting her phone from the car she’ll be here” I replied as I continued to make my way to the back the smell of beef patties and the sounds of children playing in water grew louder.


    Chris’s family was fairly well of from my perspective seeing as they had a fairly large house in a good comunity with a pool that didn''t get in the way of the actual back yard that surrounded it. By the pool I could see the carbon monoxide rising from the propane grill and my friend Chris standing behind it with a Star Trek apron with the phrase I Vulcan and will make you a burger.


    “Hey Chris stop killing cabbages to make your sick meals you insensitive fuck” I said in a low but audible voice so no one would hear me cuss. He laughed and said “shut up and eat your burger” as he served me a freshly made cheeseburger.


    I happily ate it not caring at all if it had cabbages in it or not, while making conversation with Chris about the usual senseless fun such as memes or our AP classes. “Yo where are the drinks?” I asked “there in that cooler right there” chris said pointing to an ice chest bordering the pool.


    Stolen story; please report.


    “I am a revenant of the blood wars for death hasss wrought more change than hath been ssshown. Whereas in general the ssspirit that was removed, returnsss upon occasion. And it is attested of those encountering who have lived to ssspeak thereon that a lich so raisssed up.[3] What I ssseek hath come before me with your veritable remembrance thereof” After the lich’s cold voice seemed to leave my head it''s eyes began to glow while I writhed in my intangible bonds trying to put up any semblance of a fight.


    “Raaaagh!” from behind the lich a man in plate armor swung his sword in a diagonal arc down onto the shoulder of the cloaked undead. The heavy sword surprisingly didn''t do much besides knocking the lich away from the altar which also had the effect of releasing me from the binding spell.


    I leaped off the altar and ran behind the swordsman seeing a party of around 20 men with swords and and 2 with oddly shaped staffs pour out of one of the 3 entrances. The lich let out a terrifying screech then lifted its hand as a long ghostly green spear appeared in it.


    The group spread out moving to the sides of the lich but it didn''t divide any of its attention on them it just started silently in my direction. The man who attacked the lich first turned around pointing at me and shouted “Maluk troa!”


    In unison with the mans shout the lich drew back his arm and threw the spear directly at me. Before I could react a girl with blond hair leapt in front of me from my left side with her hands pressed forward holding what looked to be a mace.


    The spear hit an invisible field shaped like a sphere around the girl that became visible upon the projectiles impact knocking it ever so slightly to the right. The spear tore through my right side just below my rib cage opening up a gash that flung blood across the floor behind me.


    I fell to the floor screaming in agony as hot blood ran down my leg and onto the cold stone floor. My screams subsided allowing me to hear the shouts of combat all while I slowly slipped into unconsciousness from blood loss. Looking up at the cute face of the blond girl who tried to deflect the spear my awareness faded away.


    “Beautiful I thought”, As I looked up at her I could only muster the energy to speak two words before the world went dark “Fuck me.” I whispered then sank again into the darkness.