Chapter 14: Man vs Bomb
The battle for the garden ended with a decisive loyalist victory.
The rebels nearly overwhelmed Basil and his allies through sheer numbers, until Bugsy returned from his woodcutting excursion. The centimagma decimated the left tomato wing with his fiery breath, allowing Basil to copse the pumpkin cavalry''s right nk. They cut the rebels down to thest sprout.
When Basil lowered his hoe atst, a harvest of fresh and crispy vegetablesy at his feet. Only five nt loyalists kept their heads; one individual for each breed sowed today, from the ghostie pumpkin to the demon tomato.<blockquote>Your party earned 4000 EXP (320 for you).</blockquote>
The experience penalty was starting to show. Basil had in the equivalent of a goblin army with no new level to show for it.
Well, that was unexpected. Basil checked his half-full bag of fertilizer. They had enough of it left to seed a second plot ofnd, but he wondered if it would be worth the risk.
It must have been a ploy of the Vegan Empire, Boss! Bugsy red at the vegetable loyalists with suspicion. The Major Chicken marathon night influenced him a bit too much. Theyre infiltrators sent to turn us into herbivores!
The nt monsters cowered in fear of the muchrger centimagma. Rosemarine protectively moved between them and Bugsy. They are good seeds! she dered with motherly pride. I wont let you hurt them!
Aww, she looked so brave snapping her fangs at a muchrger monster!
Shes correct, Bugsy. Basil patted the centimagma on the back. They fought to preserve our meat dictatorship over the menu. As promised, I shall water them every day and spare them from the kitchen knife.
The five nt monsters let out screeches of happiness, but none as loud as Rosemarine.
If you say so, Boss, Bugsy said withoutining. So uh, do they join the party too?
I never close the door to new minions, Basil replied. However, he failed to add the newly born nt monsters to his party.<blockquote>Registration attempt failed. An active party can only have six members. If you want to expand your organization or create interlocked parties, you must create a guild by conquering a dungeon.</blockquote>
Six members? With Shellgirl now included in the active party, that left only one spot. He could add and expel the vegetables from his party in short session to grant them the extra Tamer Perk, but they would miss out on the improved stat growths.
Mister? Rosemarine asked in confusion. Is something wrong?
Change of ns, Basil replied. The System wont allow me to recruit everyone into my party, so they will form one of their own under your supervision, Rosemarine. Theyll be your interns and you will teach them our way of life.
Yes, Mister! Rosemarine took the smaller vegetable monsters in her vines like a mother hen. I will raise them to eat the meat of our enemies!
Hey, why does she get interns? Bugsyined with clear jealousy. Mr. to and I are the seniors!
Speaking of to, the cat rushed out of the woods and towards the garden. Basil knew his pets bodynguage enough to realize something terrible happened.
Basil, weve got a probl to froze upon noticing the new vegetable monsters. Am I hallucinating, or does that tomato have fangs?
When we all evolve, we will eat the goblins to extinction! Rosemarine boasted, the nt monsters making noises of approval. Basil suddenly realized that theycked the intelligence to actually speak, at least until they gained a few more levels.
Boss, will meat dishes attack us too? Bugsy asked with a worried tone.
They shouldnt, Basil replied, although he suddenly experienced a moment of doubt. With the System, anything could happen. He brushed off the subject before he could tempt fate any further. to, whats happening?
The robots. to sat on the gardens grass, a serious expression on his face. Theyre patrolling the forest.
A tense silence fell upon the garden and Basil realized that he would never find peace. How many? he asked. How far?
A gearsman and five watchers. to gathered his breath. Theyre checking every spot ofnd, but the bogs terrain slows down their progress. Id say we have a few hours.
Youre sure theyre after us?
Who else, Basil? to replied ruefully.
Had Basil misread the situation? He thought the Unitycked the numbers to patrol areas beyond Daxs riverbank and that his party could safely stick to the wilderness. Or did the robots mistake Basils group for enemy reinforcements? In this scenario, it made sense for them to secure the forest and prevent a pincer attack.
Basil cursed his rotten luck for letting himself be seen in Dax. He shouldnt have overreached.
What do we do, Boss? Bugsy asked, his antennae applied to the ground. I dont sense them yet so we have time to flee.
We cant run this time, Basil replied. We must destroy them before they can find the house.
Hello? to put a paw on his chest, right where Megabug once stabbed him. Last time we fought someone with a level higher than ours, I lost a life. I would rather keep the other eight.
I would rather avoid unnecessary fights too, but the situation is fundamentally different, Basil pointed out. We didnt expect Megabug so numbers and initiative were our only advantage. Today we have time to prepare, we know the terrain, and the robots dont expect an ambush.
Would it be enough to make up for the level disparity? What other options did Basil have avable? He could make Molotov cocktails from his gasoline reserves or craft bombs from the leftover gunpowder Ren stockpiled for his rifle, but how could he deliver the payload without blowing himself up?
A brilliant, terrific idea suddenly crossed Basils mind. He nced at Rosemarine, the adorable nt fretting at her owners attention. Mister? Why are you looking at me like you want to eat me?
Could you show me your cute little decoy Perk again?
Rosemarine nodded and duplicated herself, a perfect copy of herself appearing at her left. The double wore its own version of the pink ribbon, which turned to pollen dust the moment Basil attempted to take it off.
Rosemarines decoy could duplicate the equipment she wore before activating her ability, but the fakes disappeared when no longer in contact with her body. Basil took it in stride.
Okay, I have a n. Basil started giving orders to the party. to, Bugsy, you keep us informed on the robots movement. Hopefully, Shellgirl will return in a few hours to reinforce us. Rosemarine, you drill the vegetables for battle. Im going to craft you something in the meantime.
A ne, Mister? she asked.
Better. Basil grinned wickedly. A shiny belt.
Shellgirl returned early in the afternoon, which suited Basil just fine. He was just finishing his batch of Molotov cocktails and Rosemarines new fashion piece.<blockquote>New crafting recipes: [<strong>Molotov Cocktail</strong>] & [<strong>Explosive Belt</strong>].</blockquote>
The Old Mans stock of gunpowder had proved barely enough to craft a single explosive belt. Tiny bottles filled with mmable substances jiggled on a leather bandolier. A single fuse could set them all alight.
Basil doubted it would suffice to destroy the gearsman in one attempt. But the neat thing was, he could repeat the performance.
Hey, buddy! Shellgirl hopped into the basement by mming her shell shut and open in quick session. It was a primitive mode of lotion, but it worked. So, the bug outside told me were going to fight off intruders?
Something like that, Basil replied. Well repel the Unity.
The robots? Shellgirls expression deted. I wouldnt mind driving them off since they killpetition and customers alike, but remember what I told you about not messing with the Big Businesses? Cant we skip this one?
Not unless you want us to go our separate ways. Nobody will take this home away from me so long as I draw breath. The Old Man entrusted the ce to Basil and it was his home. You can run away if you want, but dont expect a warm wee afterward.
You drive a hard bargain. Shellgirl grunted. A deal is a deal, so Ill help defend our market share as promised. Can I stay at the back though? As a brilliant mastermind, I do way better in amand position!
Basil suspected cowardice yed a bigger role than tactics in her mind, but with her barrels she should perform better as support artillery. His party had enough frontliners already. How far can you shoot a target?
I never checked my limit, Shellgirl admitted. She put a finger on her slimy lips, her expression thoughtful. Three hundred meters maybe?
Farther than expected, less than Basil would have liked. Alright, lets go then. We dont have time to waste.
Dont you want to see what I bought first? Shellgirl waved her hand and a pile of items materialized in a sh of light. My witch contact was super impressed by your potions and traded me tools toplete yourb!
Basil gave the bounty a cursory nce. Indeed, Shellgirl brought useful stuff: white pestle and mortar; a ceramic crucible; a copper alembic; safety goggles; and even a sand bath device to heat up liquids. Combined with his cauldron and ovens, Basil held all the tools to build a functional, if primitive, alchemyb.<blockquote><strong>Quest: They called me Mad! </strongpleted!<strong></strong>Your party earned 100 Bonus EXP (20 for you) and you learned the Athanor alchemy recipe.</blockquote>
Quest experience didnt suffer from the usual level penalty. Interesting.
Good job, Basilplimented Shellgirl. He put on the safety goggles after the System confirmed that it would make him immune to the Blind ailment, whatever that meant.
Good? Shellgirl sounded downright insulted. I did an <em>excellent </em>job. All that stuff should have cost us twice as much as what I negotiated!
Ill take your word for it, Basil said as he stuffed his travel bag with the explosive belt and Molotov cocktails. Who is the witch you traded for these tools with?
Sorry partner, my clients expect a certain degree of confidentiality. Nobody wants to be hunted for their exp. Shellgirl winked at Basil. In her case though, Im sure we could arrange a meeting. She looked very interested in what you could craft for her.
Developing a tradework with monsters would wait until after they destroyed the gearsman. Basil and Shellgirl left the basement for the garden outside. Whereas Bugsy surveyed the area with his tremorsense, Rosemarine was busy teaching the new vegetable guard the basics of humannguage.
Murder, Rosemarine said. Repeat after me. Mur-der.
Mur-der! the vegetables repeated, all of them carrying improvised weapons such as wooden sticks with pointy ends. The pumpkin sounded the most articte of the group in stark contrast with the quiet bean ninja. Murder!
Aww, they looked like such a cute deathsquad! Basils dream of a nt-based house security appeared to be more and more credible.
Boss, Im starting to pick up tremors, Bugsy warned. Theyre closing in.
As if on cue, to returned from his scouting. Theyve reached the bog in the southwest, he warned. The clearing with the putrid pools.
Then they were less than half an hour away from the house.
Well ambush them there. The terrain will favor us. Basil summoned his new halberd from the inventory. The new recruits will stay here to guard the house in our absence.
We dont take them with us, Mister? Rosemarine asked. The vegetables let out grunts of disappointment.
I wee more cannon fodder, to argued.
Too risky. At their level, a single watcher could petrify them all. Basil pointed his halberd at the vegetable guard. You will stay here and protect the house in our absence.
House! The pumpkin leader of the team repeated. It reminded Basil of a child learning to speak. House garden!<blockquote>Your vegetables formed a separate party: <strong>House Garden</strong>.</blockquote><blockquote>Party Leader: Ghostie Pumpkin.</blockquote>
House Garden? Basil frowned at the message. Wait, you can <em>name </em>your party?
Yes, you can! Shellgirl yelled at him. And I cant believe you left ourpany unnamed, buddy! How am I supposed to convince people to believe in our brand when we dont have any?
Good products should speak for themselves, should they not? to asked mirthfully. Now lets go, dogs. I can hear theming.
He didnt need to say it twice. Basil stepped into the marsnds beyond the house first, followed by the rest of his party. The vegetables waved their vines and leaves at the party as they ventured into the wild.
Unfortunately, one member of the team dragged behind.
Basil looked over his shoulder in annoyance at Shellgirl. The rest of the party walked at a steady pace, even the clumsy Bugsy, but the merchant struggled to hop a few meters forward.
It works better in the water! Shellgirl protested, utterly shamed.
Basil sighed. Bugsy, please carry our artillery piece around.
Uh, okay boss. The centimagma coiled his tail around Shellgirl and lifted her above the ground. Only the slimes crimson eyes peered through the gap in the shell. Like this?
Good, tomented. If we must run away again, you can throw her in the enemys face to buy us time.
Just try, kitty cat. Shellgirl pointed a barrel in the cats direction. I dont have to hop fast, just faster than you.
<em>Im d theyre already getting along, </em>Basil thought with amusement. to guided the team through the woods surrounding the house. The faint twilight colored the leaves and tall grass with an orange tint. The odious smell of putrid mire grew thicker and insects made their nest on the remains of broken trees. <em>Hopefully, they will coordinate well in the heat of battle.</em>
Only the song of insects and the faint noise of snakes slithering in the grass broke the woods quietness. The party moved stealthily. Bugsy had grownfortable enough with his new body to walk without shattering trees.
Unnerved by the silence, Shellgirl muttered words to herself. Shellgirl Incorporated Sea Commerce Enterprises?
Still trying to find a party name? to whispered. If the cat feltfortable talking, then the watchers were still somewhat far away.
How about Shellgirl marked a short pause, as if suddenly inspired. <em>Shell</em>?
Already taken, Basil replied with a shudder. And its not a good brand at all.
La <em>Bande Basil</em>? to suggested with an amused tone.
Taken too, with an e at the end. Basil suddenly wondered if copyrights and trademarks still mattered in a post-apocalyptic world. He would avoid treading on the big business shoes, just in case they returned to power.
The Axes of Heaven, Mister? Rosemarine suggested. Aww, she remembered Basil had used that term!
Too violent, Shellgirl vetoed the proposal. Customers will take us for weapon merchants instead of a future worldwide consortium.
How about tos Perfection? to said. The to Connection? Lets be honest with ourselves, Im the teams mascot, the bands face.
Cats arent market juggernaut material, Shellgirl replied.
Tell that to Garfield.
Basil nced at the only member of the team who hadnt offered a suggestion yet. Bugsy? Any ideas?
I, uh Bugsy cleared his throat, his eyes blinking in short session. Clearly, he was afraid of a negative reaction. The <em>Bohens</em>?
Basil immediately loved the suggestion. It was new, innovative, and <em>powerful</em>!
Uh, it sounds like a si show. As usual, to answered this genius proposal with skepticism. Why, Bugsy?
Well, were living in the Boss house for free. That makes us the Bohens, no? Bugsys eyes widened with hope. Like a <em>family</em>!
Good boy. Basil patted Bugsy on the back of the head, which the centimagma liked very much. His antennae wriggled in pleasure.
I didnt know you kissed asses for a living, Shellgirl said without a hint of sarcasm. Does it pay well?
If Mister Who-Feeds-Me likes it, then I like it too, Rosemarine chirped. I will eat anyone who makes Mister unhappy.
Shellgirl swiftly voted for the proposal. I love the family-friendlypany branding.
Looks like youre outvoted, to. Basil nced down at his cat. Do you <em>feel </em>the pull of democracy?
The cat sighed in despair. We are going to die before we can regret the name anyway.<blockquote>Your party name has been changed to: <strong>The Bohens</strong>.</blockquote>
Bugsy tensed up. Boss...
Basil didnt need a warning. His eyes noticed crushed branches along the trail and his ears picked up the sound of sshing waters. The group crawled in the tall grass, Bugsy included, to the border of the woond path.
The trees stopped where the heart of the bog began. A thick tangle of reeds formed the frontier between the forest and a sodden, marsnd clearing. Muddy ground surrounding arge pool of water and the gearsman examining it.
The machine that forced Basils party to flee Dax stood on the mud shore, one of its tentacles wading through putrid waters. It found the remains of a spinotters skeleton and pulled it out of the pool. Five watchers scanned the bones. They lost interest in seconds and floated around the gearsman as it continued its examination.
The sunlight briefly broke through the clouds above the bog and reflected on the mighty robots shielding. It dwarfed Bugsy in size, and Shellgirls barrels looked like toyspared to its cannon. Wow, said thetter with a fearful voice. Level thirteen?
Not so brave now, huh? to whispered. He watched the robot pull corpses from the pool in confusion. Do they think we have an underwater base?
I could build one, Shellgirl said. To stash our gold.
Shush, they will hear us. Basil opened his bag and brought out the explosive belt. Bugsy, put Shellgirl aside in the grass where she can take a shot unseen.
to looked at the explosive belt with concern. Basil, when I said I had eight lives left
Its not for you, Basil attached the suicide bandolier around Rosemarines neck and Bugsy quietly dropped Shellgirl in the grass. Rosemarine, use your seed decoy.
Yes, Mister. The nt duplicated, suicide belt included. How do I look, Mister?
Like the cutest suicide bomber ever. Basil handed Rosemarine his lighter. Bugsy, at my signal youll throw the duplicate at the gearsman. Shellgirl will provide cover fire and the rest of us will act as frontliners. Rosemarine, you will set your clones fuse alight before Bugsy throws it and create a new one as soon as
Basils mouth went dry. The gearsman pulled a metal piece out of the pool, the paint nearly intact in spite of the acidic waters.
A helicopter''s tail rotor.
CRASH SITE CONFIRMED! The gearsman tossed the vehicle part back into the pool. Its steel tentacles tensed in rm. SEARCHING FOR SURVIVORS!
<em>They werent looking for us, </em>Basil realized. The watchers immediately dispersed in all corners of the clearing, all of them on high alert. One flew straight towards the partys location.
Damn it! Basil hissed. Bugsy, throw the double now!
The watcher noticed the movement in the tall grass and unleashed a strident sound. The screeching made Basil wince and immediately caused the gearsman to turn its cannon in the groups direction.
With the element of surprise wasted, Basil jumped out of the grass and roared into the fray.