061 Griffin
This morning when I woke up I was feeling great, I had a wonderful day with A. Her family loves me,
all of them do. Kate had even taken the time to pull me aside telling me she was so happy her sister
found a mate who would do everything to keep her happy and safe. But now as A was sleeping
snuggled up against my side after we let our wolves take over I doubt that very much.
She was great when I told her, we would need to take over the rule of the kingdom months, maybe
even weeks after wepleted the matebound. This morning I remember hearing her rm. At the
time I just figured it was a mistake, an rm she has for her job on the weekdays that she forgot to turn
off. I fell back asleep so quickly that I never noticed her slipping out of bed to call my mother. There
was no doubt she had called my mother, my trust in her still was 100 percent What I feared was that
she called Mom because she was scared of bing a queen. Wanting to up the training. Or maybe
even just ask. for some reassurance without wanting to bother me.
Mother considers A, a daughter, a friend, I never asked A how she feels about it. That seems a
bit weird to ask but I know they have fun during their videocalls. I have heard them giggling about. Mom
will notice things and tell me A would like that. The other day she went to the bookstore to buy
herself a book A rmended. So it makes sense that she would ask my mother for reassurance
about bing the
queen.
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Needing to force A to seek someone else, reassurance because of theplications that stemmed
from being with me. That was not keeping her happy, that was allowing her to keep making me the
happiest I have ever been. That’s not even all though, stopping myself and/or Conan from marking her
was getting increasingly difficult. Normally for things like this, I would ask Dad for his advice. This time
however I know deep down inside what the matter is. My royal blood, my Alpha blood, is begging me to
settle down and reproduce. Take the steps that are needed to care for my Kingdom, my Pack. It’s the
same as to why I am this protective and jealous of every interaction she has with another male. It was
why I almost killed David with my bare hands for touching my mate. Especially when I heard him scoff
she was not truly mine yet since she did not bear my mark yet.
Honestly, the rational part of me knew he was spouting bullshit. A was mine and we didn’t need a
mark to prove that not just yet anyway. I heard her tell him that I wasn’t going to be single ever again. It
was all the reassurance I needed. But the instinctual part of me, my animalistic side wanted to im
her. Have the world see that she is mine, have everyone bow down at her feet as the queen that she is.
Another problem that I have, the pack doesn’t really know her. Which is mostly my fault I was so
deadset on showing A how fun being with me could be. How I am really the same as every average
mate would be that we spend our entire time holed up in my room. Partly because ying video games
with her no more than an arm’s length away was my happy ce. Partly because I had been
downying the heaviness of the crown. Now my pack never saw their Luna to be, they do not know
the story behind her reluctance to mark each other. Hell in the beginning they knew she hadn’t officially
epted me and didn’t even know why.
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Some murmurs were going around in the pack that she didn’t want to be our Luna. That she was weak
and unworthy to be their Luna let alone the queen of all werewolves.
Maybe, I wasn’t as suited to be a mate as I thought I was. Ever since learning about second chance
mates, I dreamed about finding my mate and being the perfect mate to her. I dreamed about making
her happy, about never having anything to worry about between the two of us. Sure I was still happy,
happier than I have ever been. I went as far as to print. out a picture of us together, frame it, and put it
on my nightstand so I could see her every morning after waking up. Now I was doubting if I had to let
her go. Maybe if she wakes up I should tell her I understand it if she rejects me. Because I would never
ever reject her, she was perfect to me. All the issues in our rtionship were either on me or because
of my title,
The fear of her agreeing with me that rejecting me would be for the best paralyzed me. It froze my
heart so all I felt was the pain of having ice pressed on my skin. Only this time it was pressing onto me
from the inside out. That pain, that painful tingle when your nerve ends freeze was spreading from the
inside out. Tears streamed down my face until I cried so much that I didn’t have tears left. They dried
up on my cheeks. because I didn’t find the strength to wipe them away. Time passed by and I had no
idea how long I had been sitting here staring into nothingness. Wondering if this was thest time I
would feel my wonderful mate snuggled up against me. Until I finally heard the sheets. rustle, a sign
that A had woken up. And that I needed to face the
music.
Her voice full of sorrow and pity as she asked me if I was doing okay
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was the first thing to shatter my heart. Finding the right words was difficult, everything I thought about
telling her felt wrong. So–so wrong, I ended up blurting out that I couldn’t do this anymore. Which to an
extent was true, I could not close my eyes to the truth any longer. I needed to ask the questions I had
been avoiding because I feared the
answer to it.
Now I managed to almost push my mate into a panic attack. Wanting tofort her, but still reeling
from the fact that I was so scared that my truth would be the nail in the coffin that drove he away from
me I just wrapped her in my arm. Telling her how much I loved her, how I never wanted to reject her.
That I just feared that I would mess things up. It at least calmed her down, which was a good thing, but
I hated the fact that she sat up straight to look at me. Because that meant less physical contact and
that was the one thing I was craving being able to touch my
mate.
“Then what is the matter Griffin, you know I love you I told you bing the queen isn’t something I
fear. Because the only way for me to be the queen is when you are the king. Don’t you see it, the
only way for me to be the queen is with you by my side. And with
you by my side I can do everything” She tells me and I can hear in her voice how genuine she is.
It does soothe my nerves a little bit, it is not like I have any doubts about her ability to be the queen.
Hell, I am so sure that I will be a better king if I have her by my side. For she is the calm when I am
losing control. She is the one who stops my social battery from draining too much during these social
events. Not to mention her intelligence and her
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intuitive wisdom.
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“Darling, thest three times we made love I could barely stop myself from marking you against your
will. And some of the packmembers doubt you because they hardly see you. Since I am so set on
trying to show you how good being with me can be. Since I try so hard to make the weekend all about
you” I tell her sping her hand in mine like my
anchor.
Hearing my pack doubts her chances something, her attitude, her expression even her body all seem
to harden before she speaks to me again.
“Thank you for being honest with me Griffin, this changes everything and I know exactly what to do
now. You’re right we can’t go on like this” She tells me before taking a deep breath.
This will be it, this will be the moment the love of my life makes her final decision about being with me
or not. And I hate the fact I had to force her to make this decision way before the six–month mark we
agreed to.
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