Chapter 65
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This morning when I woke up I was feeling great, I had a wonderful day with A. Her family loves
me, all of them do. Kate had even taken the time to pull me aside telling me she was so happy her
sister found a mate who would do
everything to keep her happy and safe. But now as A was sleeping snuggled up against my side
after we let our wolves. take over I doubt that very much.
She was great when I told her, we would need to take over the rule of the kingdom months, maybe
even weeks after wepleted the matebound. This morning I remember hearing her rm. At the
time I just figured it was a mistake, an rm she has for her job on the weekdays that she forgot to
turn off. I fell back asleep so quickly that I never noticed her sl*pping out of bed to call my mother.
There was no doubt she had called my mother, my trust in her still was 100 percent. What I feared
was that she called Mom because she was scared of bing a queen. Wanting to up the training.
Or maybe even just ask for some reassurance without wanting to bother me.
Mother considers A, a daughter, a friend, I never asked. A how she feels about it. That seems
a bit weird to ask but I know they have fun during their videocalls. I have heard them giggling about.
Mom will notice things and tell me A would like that. The other day she went to the bookstore to
buy
herself a book A rmended. So it makes sense that she would ask my mother for
reassurance about bing the queen.
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Needing to force A to seek someone else, reassurance because of theplications that
stemmed from being with me. That was not keeping her happy, that was allowing her to keep
making me the happiest I have ever been. That’s not even all though, stopping myself and/or Conan
from marking her was getting increasingly difficult. Normally for things like this, I would ask Dad for
his advice. This time however I know deep down inside what the matter is. My royal blood, my
Alpha blood, is begging me to settle down and reproduce. Take the steps that are needed to care
for my Kingdom, my Pack. It’s the same as to why I am this protective and jealous of every
interaction she has with another male. It was why I almost killed David with my bare hands for
touching my mate. Especially when I heard him scoff she was not truly mine yet since she did not
bear my mark yet.
Honestly, the rational part of me knew he was spouting bull shit. A was mine and we didn’t need
a mark to prove that not just yet anyway. I heard her tell him that I wasn’t going to be single ever
again. It was all the reassurance I needed. But the instinctual part of me, my animalistic side wanted
to im her. Have the world see that she is mine, have everyone bow down at her feet as the
queen that she is.
Another problem that I have, the pack doesn’t really know her. Which is mostly my fault I was so
deadset on showing A how fun being with me could be. How I am really the same as every
average mate would be that we spend our entire time holed up in my room. Partly because ying
video games. with her no more than an arm’s length away was my happy ce. Partly because I
had been downying the heaviness of the crown. Now my pack never saw their Luna to be, they
do not know the story behind her reluctance to mark each other. Hell in the beginning they knew
she hadn’t officially
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epted me and didn’t even know why. Some murmurs were
going around in the pack that she didn’t want to be our Luna. That she was weak and unworthy to
be their Luna let alone the queen of all werewolves.
Maybe, I wasn’t as suited to be a mate as I thought I was. Ever since learning about second chance
mates, I dreamed about finding my mate and being the perfect mate to her. I dreamed about making
her happy, about never having anything to worry about between the two of us. Sure I was still
happy, happier than I have ever been. I went as far as to print out a picture of us together, frame it,
and put it on my nightstand so I could see her every morning after waking up. Now I was doubting if
I had to let her go. Maybe if she wakes up I should tell her I understand it if she rejects me. Because
I would never ever reject her, she was perfect to me. All the issues in our rtionship were either on
me or because of my title,
The fear of her agreeing with me that rejecting me would be for the best paralyzed me. It froze my
heart so all I felt was the pain of having ice pressed on my skin. Only this time it was pressing onto
me from the inside out. That pain, that painful tingle when your nerve ends freeze was spreading
from the inside out. Tears streamed down my face until I cried so much that I didn’t have tears left.
They dried up on my cheeks because I didn’t find the strength to wipe them away. Time passed by
and I had no idea how long I had been sitting here staring into nothingness. Wondering if this was
thest time I would feel my wonderful mate snuggled up against me. Until I finally heard the sheets
rustle, a sign that A had woken up. And that I needed to face the music.
Her voice full of sorrow and pity as she asked me if I was doing okay was the first thing to shatter
my heart. Finding the right words was difficult, everything I thought about telling
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her felt wrong. So-so wrong, I ended up blurting out that I couldn’t do this anymore. Which to an
extent was true, I could not close my eyes to the truth any longer. I needed to ask the questions I
had been avoiding because I feared the answer to
it.
Now I managed to almost push my mate into a panic attack. Wanting tofort her, but still reeling
from the fact that I was so scared that my truth would be the nail in the coffin that drove he away
from me I just wrapped her in my arm. Telling her how much I loved her, how I never wanted to
reject her. That I just feared that I would mess things up. It at least calmed her down, which was a
good thing, but hated the fact that she sat up straight to look at me. Because that meant less
physical contact and that was the one thing I was craving being able to touch my mate.
“Then what is the matter Griffin, you know I love you I told you bing the queen isn’t something I
fear. Because the only way for me to be the queen is when you are the king. Don’t you see it,
the only way for me to be the queen is with you by my side. And with you by my side I can do
everything” She tells me and I can hear in her voice how genuine she is.
It does soothe my nerves a little bit, it is not like I have any doubts about her ability to be the queen.
Hell, I am so sure that I will be a better king if I have her by my side. For she is the calm when I am
losing control. She is the one who stops my social battery from draining too much during these
social events. Not to mention her intelligence and her intuitive wisdom.
“Darling, thest three times we made love I could barely stop myself from marking you against
your will. And some of the
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Jaa
packmembers doubt you because they hardly see you. Since I am so set on trying to show you how
good being with me can be. Since I try so hard to make the weekend all about you” I tell her
sping her hand in mine like my anchor.
Hearing my pack doubts her chances something, her attitude, her expression even her b*dy all
seem to harden before she speaks to me again.
“Thank you for being honest with me Griffin, this changes everything and I know exactly what to do
now. You’re right we can’t go on like this” She tells me before taking a deep breath.
This will be it, this will be the moment the love of my life makes her final decision about being with
me or not. And I hate the fact I had to force her to make this decision way before the six-month
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