Sarbie fiddled with the rings on each hand. She could feel the soft warmth emanating from each, which made her heart feel lighter. She was sad to be heading out so soon; only spending two nights with her family was a wild departure from how she had imagined it. She thought she''d be done when they returned to Sha-Laial, yet here she was, getting ready to explore the world in search of the goblin''s god, dogmother. She scowled lightly; it was hard to imagine Dogmother being anything but some strange spirit with such a name. She caught herself glancing at Alvec; perhaps she should have done something a little more special for him. Next year, she vowed silently. Next year, for sure, she''d find him the perfect gift.


    The first bit of travel seemed to only take about half a day. She could smell the goblin encampment before they arrived. Sarbie let Bait walk ahead of her as they arrived at the goblin camp. Bait aimed his musket at the sky and squeezed off a shot; the thunderous roar of his gun caught the attention of the entire tribe, quieting them down in no time. As a rare goblin silence settled over the camp, Bait planted both feet firmly and shouted.


    "WE KNOW WHERE DOGMOTHER IS. TO THE MOOT!" Boogie and Boozie came running up to Bait.


    "Where is she?" he asked.


    "Wizard not know how to speak goblin, dat why he no give clear advice. Horny wizard and punchy wizard yell at him and he make map! My much better wizards check map, it accurate!" Bait said.


    "Let''s go gather moot!" Boozie said. He was running among the groups of goblins and barking orders for them in a moment. The chaos of the tribe quickly fell in line as they hastily packed up their tents and gathered into their own makeshift wagons pulled by teams of a dozen or more rat dogs.


    Bait turned to Sarbie. "We follow Boogie and Boar Eaters; they take us to a sacred spot where moot is held. It be on island in middle of a river. Dat way no one able to stab to death, without also dying. One time, Bait hear dey have to halt moot, Dogdaughter bless member of Stank clan too hard. He die, and den da spirits mad and Dogdaughter drown on dry land. Moot have to go find NEW Dogdaughter. Big hassle. So no stabby stab or boom boom till after we off island. Don''t want to anger spirits." Bait said.


    "Is that true?" Sarbie asked to Naya.


    "Is that not common knowledge? You shouldn''t commit murder while on an island in a river. The spirits really hate it." Naya confirmed.


    "Always thought it was an old wives tale," Sarbie commented. "There aren''t any islands in the river that runs through Sha-Laial. Don''t forget I hadn''t left the city prior to this." She said.


    After a few hours of travel, the team found themselves approaching a river. Dozens of goblin encampments emanated out from the river and spread across the opposite banks. There were hundreds, if not thousands of them scattered all around the moot. Several armed goblins stood upon the shore controlling the river way. Their goblin friends dove into the river effortlessly and swam to the other side. Illaria and Bait parked both of the wagons, and the group dismounted and headed towards the river. Echo was tall enough that he could carry everyone across one at a time. Which was the plan before the goblins on the shore shouted at them.


    "Goblin moot only for goblins, humans, and tieflings not invited. WE hold own moot, you do same." One of them said as it brandished a spear in their general direction.


    "Bait of Blackpowder clan, travel here with allies to tell moot where to find Dogmother. You let us pass." Bait said as he walked up to him and puffed his chest out. "We with Boar Eaters."


    "Dat fine, you goblin, you good. Moot only for goblins; dey wait here." He insisted again.


    "Bait need horny wizard and coffee wizard to explain where Dogmother is. Let dem in."


    "Dey not goblins. No go to moot."


    "Bait say dey TRUE Goblins."


    "Only Dogdaughter allowed to make someone true goblin." The guard said.


    "Den you let dem see Dogdaughter. Dey become true goblins."


    "No clanless goblin make that demand." The guard said


    "Bait have clan, Bait find clan. Blackpowder clan resting outside of Sha-Laial. Dey captured by pirate Crowley. Friend Illaria cut his hand off and we rescued clan with haunted boat. Don''t pee on haunted boats, dey whack you in penis." Bait said as he continued arguing with the guard.


    "I don''t know how I feel being called a true goblin," Naya admitted.


    "Honestly, not loving it," Mavec said.


    "Still, this is important to Bait; if he says we need to be true goblins, we''ll do it without complaint," Alvec said as he smiled a little too feral. Showing off his more prominent canine teeth.


    "Could Dogdaughter come to us?" Alvec asked.


    "No, Dogdaughter must stay in safety of river." The guard replied. "Till we find where Dogmother went."


    "Den take us to see Dogdaughter, she tell you dey true goblin." Bait insisted. "Boogie, help convince dumb guard!" He shouted to the goblin leader, who was halfway across the river. With a frustrated grunt, he turned around and swam back over to the shore.


    "Boogie, leader of Boar eaters. What problem?" He asked as he poked at the goblin guard.


    "Not-goblins not allowed on island. Dogdaughter no want tall legs among us."


    "Dey with me, let dem cross, or I get tribe to all throw rocks at dumb guard." Boogie threatened. The goblin carefully weighed his options.


    "Bah, dis stupid, take dumb humans and go." He said, waving dismissively at the group.


    "Alright, you all heard the man. Let''s get on Echo and get across." Naya shouted as she jumped onto Echo''s back and activated his magic collar. In just a few moments, his back was wide enough to carry all of them. The wolf laid down so everyone could climb on. He was tall enough to simply walk through the river, not inconveniencing his riders one bit with water. When they reached the other side, he lay down in the sand, allowing everyone to dismount. Many goblins ran around the base of this river island. Boogie gestured for the Cheese Acolytes to ignore them and follow. They climbed a small hill through thick foliage to a small clearing with a rock in the center. Sitting on it, hunched on all fours, was a goblin wearing a dog''s skull as a helmet.


    "Tell me, who dares bring the long-legs here and so many of them to boot." Came her raspy voice.


    "Boogie, leader of clan Boar Eater, bring the Cheese Acolytes, and the representative of the Blackpowder clan Bait, dey know the location of Dogmother. Oh great, Dogdaughter, please hear them out." Boogie pleaded as he lowered his head to the woman crouched on all fours. She walked around sniffing all of them and lingering over long on Bait.


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    "Sure smell like a proper goblin, not like the long-legs he comes with, but before we hear you out, I test if you are a true goblin." She got uncomfortably close to Bait, her face only an inch or so away. "When did I become Dogdaughter?" She asked.


    Bait paused for a moment. It tough question, she become Dogdaughter when previous Dogdaughter bless someone too hard... but dat not best answer. Dis trick question. Dogdaughter always Dogdaughter, she just not know. "Trick question!" Bait shouted back at her. "You always Dogdaughter, you just no know till Dogmother tell you."


    "Spoken like a true goblin, but these long-legs of yours, surely they too can not be said to be true goblins? Why have you brought them?"


    "Horny wizard and gear wizard know where to find Dogmother! Dey also true goblins dough. Horny wizard threw self into multiple monsters with wild abandon. Gear wizard punched his arch-enemy rather than zapping him or blasting him with fire. Illaria and Naya both use slashy slash better den anyone Bait know, and Sarbie goblin saint. She save Bait when devil with goat hooves try to stomp Bait''s head in. Bait trust them all with his life. Dat is as true as a goblin as one gets." He insisted.


    "Tell me, fellow goblins, what do we think of Bait''s claim. Die Bird clan, you shall speak first!" Dogdaughter declared as she faced the direction of a small group of goblins.


    "Long-legs not goblins. Vote we kick them out and stab them when we get across river."


    "Let me hear now from the Stank Clan." Dog daughter bellowed.


    "Dis story stink. Black Powder Clan dead. Everyone knows dat. They no goblins."


    "Boar Eaters?" Dogdaughter called.


    "Goblins true as any. Dey beat us fair and square. Fight with all the ferocity of true goblins."


    "Ugly clan?" Dogdaughter called.


    "Da long-legs certainly are ugly enough to join us. Goblins it is."


    "Grumblebumpers?"


    "We go way back with Blackpowder, if nothing else, we wish dey alive. Goblins."


    "Sharptooth?"


    "Not goblins; we eat and rend their flesh!"


    "Just try it; I''ll give you something to chew on," Alvec said as he patted his buckler loudly.


    "Bloodguzzlers?"


    "We like their spunk; we''ll vouch for them as goblins."


    "Bigstick?"


    "Too many wizards, we no respect."


    "Skullcrackers, Gutburners, Filthfeet, what say you three?!" Dogdaughter called out.


    "Nay, not goblins!"


    "Moot, decide; you, not goblins; you need to leave here immediately," Dogdaughter said.


    "Boogie motions dat the opossers should fight dem. Den they know they true goblins."


    "What say the challenged parties?" Dogdaughter asked.


    "We always ready to spill blood of longlegs!" One of the goblins cheered.


    "Great, now we be fighting goblins again. Can''t we just settle this with a game of ax fall?" Illaria suggested.


    "Let us go back across the shore. Then we can settle this like true goblins." Dogdaughter announced.


    "It''s your funeral," Alvec said as he raised a free hand, and a small flare of shining frost swirled in his hand. "It''s going to be a slaughter." He''d recently pushed himself further; a new circle of magic was open to him now, and that meant he had new and terrifying tools he''d yet to test out on anyone. The goblins would be the first victims, unfortunately for them.


    The party crossed the river again, and a dozen goblins lined up, ready to join in the fight.


    Dogdaughter signaled the fight with a howl. Illaria dashed forward first, slicing deep into one of the goblin''s chests, her golden red blade biting through its leathered armor with ease. Gunshots rang out from Bait as he rained bullets into the ones in the back line. Alvec gathered his energy and swept his arm up skyward as he grasped his hand clutched. Ice grew in seconds, entirely encasing one of the goblins. Its eyes were the only thing able to move under the weight of his spellcraft. Unless someone broke him free from there soon, he''d die as the cold penetrated deep into him.


    Naya and Echo were pressed upon by a few members of the Ugly clan. They fought viciously, and their blades found purchase for both the wolf and its master. The two returned the favor in kind. Naya was a tempest of steal, striking the goblin in front of her four times, each strike progressively stronger than the first, biting deeper through its cured leather armor. Echo, however, was far more concise than his master. He scooped his massive head down and took a ferocious bite at the goblin. The creature''s spine snapped in his teeth, and he dropped the dead goblin onto the sandy bank of the river with no remorse.


    Mavec stayed in the back like usual. He dashed Picora into the thick of it and had her mark his targets. He unleashed fiery lances of flame at them. With the added accuracy of Alusai''s scanner, he found himself hitting every shot. He grinned; if only he''d had something like this during the Festival of Blades. It would have made his victory over Warren that much more complete.


    The goblin in front of Illaria jumped onto her arm and began to wrestle the blade out of her hand. She quickly found herself punching him in the face till she heard a cracking noise, and he fell limp to the ground. "You be not even a threat compared to the Boar eaters!" Illaria shouted as she declared victory. With so many of them having already fallen, the two remaining goblins threw down their weapons and cried out to surrender.


    "Dogdaugher acknowledge the defeat of the goblins. The Cheese Acolytes are clearly true goblins!"


    While Dogdaughter went to congratulate the acolytes, Alvec moved forward to the one he had frozen solid and began chipping the poor goblin out of it. The fight had been so fast that the little dude might just live if they acted now and pried him free. Some of his friends, seeing the wizard''s efforts, dashed over. In a few moments, the goblin was free and shivering on the ground. "He''ll live," Alvec assured his friends.


    "Now, can we be getting on with this?'' Illaria asked.


    "Yes, to the moot!" Dogmother shouted as the group once more crossed the river and gathered at the stone in the forest.


    "What information do the true goblins bring to the table?" Dogmother asked. Mavec pulled out a scroll tube and uncapped it before gently pulling the scroll out. He unfurled a map of the Empire, with a section of it that had been marked by Warren.


    "The boar eaters contracted a wizard to do a locator spell on Dogmother. We thought that the wizard had ripped them off, but all evidence suggests that he actually did the spell and just didn''t convey it in a way that any sane goblin would understand." Mavec replied.


    "The red circle over this mountain range represents the general area where Dogmother is," Alvec said. "In fact, we have reason to believe that Dogmother is underground based on the specific sort of interference we''ve seen with other similar cases."


    "Dat make sense, Boogie tell Bait dat goblins see something chase Dogmother into cave, but no one find Dogmother in cave. Secret long tunnel!" Bait suggested.


    "Sure, Bait, long tunnel theory could be at play," Alvec said, humoring him. "With that said, I''m more interested in knowing what type of creatures might have chased Dogmother into the caves in the first place," Alvec said.


    "Boogie know dis, they pointy heads like wizard. Red skins, very dangerous looking. Goblins stay away from pointy heads, Dogmother tell us to."


    "Dogmother sounds pretty smart right about now," Naya said. "I wouldn''t want to go anywhere near a devil if I could avoid it."


    "Aye, but we can''t be avoiding it now can we? Do we be thinking that capturing Dogmother is related to their activities with the children of Akrixi?" Illaria asked.


    "Certainly could be, I still don''t know why the devils are so interested in the spirits as of late," Naya said.


    "Certainly seems like they''ve got a hand in every plot lately. Well... every plot besides whatever''s up with the Gold Banner." Alvec said as he glanced around at the expectant goblins. "Bait, I think we should go search for Dogmother and leave the clans here for now."


    "Bait think goblins solve dis, not us."


    "The clans have too many mouths to look after. We can move faster and strike harder on our own. Perhaps we can work out a signal for if we need their help?" Alvec suggested.


    "Oh, that''s easy, Goblins of the great moot. We will go find Dogmother, but our enemies are wicked and mean. We may need help. So if you see Echo, gather your weapons and follow him into battle! For DOGMOTHER!" Naya shouted to a chorus of hail Dogmothers. "I think that gets the point across," Naya said with a large smile.


    "Alright, well, I guess we''re off to go find Dogmother," Mavec said. I was hoping we''d just deliver this news and call it a day, but no. Let''s go traipsing around a mountain and see if we can''t find a spirit who serves as the goblin gods and almost certainly fight devils along the way. This sounds just grand."


    "Look, none of us like dealing with more devils, but we need to sort out what they are doing. This is a good opportunity," Illaria said.