Chapter 209


    Jane


    Before I became a mother I used to sleep like the dead. Truly, a tree could fall right by my bed and I


    wouldn’t wake. I always slept through the night, and I never struggled to rest in cars, trains or nes.


    Now a cricket can chirp a mile away and I’ll jolt up like someone has screamed in my ear. Of course it’s


    not only sounds and disturbances that wake me now. My wolf always knows when one of my children


    needs me – even if they don’t make a peep.


    So when I wake in the middle of the night with my wolf urging me to check on the pups, I don’t question


    it. I slide out of bed and pull on my robe, striding out into the darkened apartment. I find Paisley


    standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at her father’s closed door.


    “Paisley, why are you still up?” I whisper,ing forward and brushing her hair back from her eyes as


    she looks up at me.


    “Cuz I can’t get in bed with Daddy when he’s with Nina.” She replies sadly. My stomach sinks, I hate


    the idea of Ethan sleeping with Nina too, and I wonder how many nights my little girl has stayed up this


    way, wishing she could be with him but feeling like she’s not allowed.


    “Well why don’t youe get in bed with me?” I suggest warmly. “You know I miss my snuggle- bug.”


    To my surprise, Paisley’s lower lip quivers as is she’s on the verge of tears. She frowns up at me with


    wide eyes. “I can’t.”


    “What? of course you can.” I encourage, leaning down to her level.


    “No. Because Mommies always know when something’s wrong.” She whimpers, shaking her head.


    My heart aches, and all my instincts tell me this is rted to Ethan’s strange behavior. “That’s true.” I


    concede. “But you know, Mommies also know how to make things better.” I remind her gently.


    Tears spill over Paisley’sshes, and she sniffles hopelessly. “Not this time.” She murmurs miserably.


    “There’s nothing that can make this better.”


    Something cracks open inside me, and it takes all my strength not to burst into tearS myself. Theres no


    worse feeling than seeing your child in pain and not being able to fix it for them. “Hmm, well how about


    this: Why don’t youe give me a cuddle, and we can talk about it and see if it’s really as bad as all


    that”


    “No.” Paisley refuses, even as she climbs into my arms and wraps her little limbs around me. “I can’t


    tell you.”,


    Kissing her wet cheeks and carrying her into the living room, I admit, “Paisley, I know something is


    going on with your Daddy.”


    “You do?” She hups, not letting go of me even as I lower us to the couch. I carefully untangle her


    legs from my middle so that they rest on the cushions and I’m able to lean backpletely.


    “You said it, remember?” I ask when we’re finally settled. “Mommies always know.”


    That was all it took. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, Paisley breaks down into sobs. I don’t


    want Daddy to die!”


    My heart stops beating, and I temporarily forget how to breathe. She’s just a pup. I think frantically, she


    probably misunderstood something. “Oh my angel, why would Daddy die?” I ask, my voice suddenly


    very hoarse.


    “Because his legs don’t work, and his wolf can’t get out!” Paisley wails.


    “What do you mean his legs don’t work?” I inquire, feeling a sh of relief. She must have


    misunderstood. “He’s walking around like usual.”


    She shakes her head. “He has these weird, fancy race things.”


    “Race things?” I repeat. “Braces?”


    Paisley nods, rubbing her red-rimmed eyes. “He has metal all over his legs, it walks for him.”


    I don’t want to believe her, but suddenly all the tiny clues that have been piling up around me in recent


    monthse together. This all started at the hospital in the Southern Isles, after Ethan had back


    surgery. His doctors wouldn’t tell me how things went because he wasn’t awake yet, even though they


    knew we were mates. When I finally saw him again his walking gate hadpletely changed, and he


    was always holding his body away from me, even on the few asions we’d been close enough to


    touch.


    “He’s paralyzed.”I realize, understanding atst that he must have been more severely hurt in his fight


    with Aimon than any of us knew. Suddenly I remember the King biting down on Ethan’s spine, and little


    by little the rest of the puzzle pieces lock into ce. “He can’t shift. His wolf is trapped.”


    “Mhmm,” Paisley confirms, still weeping, “and now he’s gonna have a surgry, but it’s probably gonna kill


    him!”


    No! My wolf howls in misery. No, no, no. He can’t die!


    “How long have you known about this?” I ask, trying to get ahold of myself.


    “Since afore Christmas.” Paisley admits. “Is why I had to stay with him. He needed me to take care of


    him.”


    “Oh Paisley,” I cry, hugging her close. “I’m so sorry, my poor sweet pup, I can’t believe you’ve been


    dealing with this all on your own.”


    “She’s not on her own.” Nina’s voice interrupts us, and I turn my welling eyes to the other she-wolf. I


    was so preupied with my daughter I didn’t even notice her approaching us. “Paisley, you should go


    back to bed.”


    “Don’t tell my daughter what to do.” I growl defensively, still hugging the precious bundle close.


    “I’d like to speak to you in private.” Nina answers, unapologetic.


    Sighing I kiss Paisley’s hair, “why don’t you go get in my bed, baby. Il be there soon.”


    Paisley sniffles but obediently hops off the couch and disappears down the hall. Swiping at the tears on


    my cheeks, I stand and turn to face Nina.


    “So she told you.” The other woman observes coolly.


    “And thank the Goddess she did.” I bite. “Some one should have told me a long time ago.


    “No one was going to go against the wishes of a dying man.” Nina hisses. “And you shouldn’t either.


    He’s trying to do the best thing for everyone involved here. You shouldn’t interfere.”


    “But if none of it was real-“I object.


    “But it was real, Jane.” Nine cuts me off. “He might have been motivated by things you didn’t


    understand, but he thought long and hard about this. You have no idea how much he struggled with


    this, how difficult it’s been for him to ensure your family and the pack will be okay after he’s gone. This


    is what he wants – you should respect that.”


    “Oh my Goddess.” I realize suddenly, her words triggering thoughts of all the good luck I’ve had in


    recent months. All the things which have urred that have helped secure my pup’s future and my


    own stability. “All the gifts.. the surprises. My mortgage, the lotteries – it was all him, wasn’t it?”


    “Yes.” Nina scowls. “But that was for the pups, not you.”


    “But Linda and Eric and Devon..” I trail off, thinking of my friends, everyone who has taken credit for


    Ethan’s kindness. “They were all in on it?


    Everyone knew but me?”


    “Ethan didn’t think you’d ept his decision if you knew the truth – but this is the way he wants it.


    You need to allow him the dignity of dying on his own terms Jane.” Nina intimates, never softening her


    tone or wavering her expression.


    “But this surgery, it might work – right? There’s no guarantee he’ll die.” I suggest, trying to understand.


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    “He has a 50% chance of survival, Jane.” Nina informs me simply. “He’s preparing for the worst


    because he’d be a fool not to. He has to prepare for the worst even as he hopes for the best. And if the


    best happens we’ll all be grateful, but it won’t change any of this. If Ethan had wanted your help he


    would have asked for it – instead he came to me.”


    “And you’re happy are you? You’re pleased to nurse a dying man even though you know he can never


    give you a future or a family, knowing he already has his heirs?”


    “He’s my fated mate.” Nina growls. “I don’t care what state he’s in, or what he can give me, my wolf


    needs his – and his needs mine.”


    “And my daughter?” I hiss. “What are you nning on doing with her if the surgery fails?”


    “That’s why he’s leaving her with you for the next few weeks – that way if the worst happens she’ll


    already be with you, and that’s where she’ll stay.”


    Nina scoffs. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? That’s why we’re here. So he can say goodbye.”


    “You mean it’s happening that soon?” I squeak.


    “Of course.” Nina shakes her head. “Either he does this now, or his wolf is driven mad and his Beta


    puts him down.”


    “I can’t believe this.” I murmur, so overwhelmed that all my feelings wink out, reced with a yawning


    void.


    “Believe it, Princess.” Nina derides. “This is the new reality, and we all have to live in it – for better or


    worse,


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