Chapter 145
Jane
“This is going to work, Jane.” Ethan promises.
We’re going to get to them first.”
I’m having a hard time believing it. I want it to be true, but every near miss we experience sends me
deeper and deeper into depression. I can’t live without my babies, I can’t survive this constant worry.
I’m beginning to associate hope only with pain and disappointment. It doesn’t feel safe to hope
anymore – I think it only invites heartbreak. After all, if I don’t hope, at least I won’t be surprised when
my worst fears are proven to be real.
The depression and woe makes me want to give up. To curl into a little ball and never get out of bed. Of
course, I don’t have a bed tonguish in, and if we stop moving we risk missing the pups or worse,
being caught by the King. We drove through the night to reach the capital, resuming our disguises and
trying to locate Eric. There hasn’t been any word from him, and knowing that Anita has the pups in her
grasps doesn’t make me optimistic about his chances. If the king trusted his son, he might have sent
him to find the kids, rather than assigning the task to a stranger.
Linda is beside herself with worry, and if I had any space left in my heart to feel anything beyond my
own sorrow and terror, I might be a better friend to her right now. Of course I patted her back and
listened attentively as she shared her fears, but I couldn’t truly engage – not the way she deserves.
Guilt swirls with my despair. Linda has always been there for me whenever I needed her, the least I
could do is return the favor in her own time of need – but I’m barely holding myself together as it is.
“Baby, did you hear me?” Ethan presses, pulling my attention up to his handsome face.
You said this is going to work.” I parrot hollowly.N?velDrama.Org ? content.
His face crinkles with pain. ‘No, sweetheart.” He corrects gently. I said that I need you to make me a
promise.”
? guess I wasn’t listening after all. “Sorry,” I murmur,
“I guess I got lost in my thoughts.”
Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” He asks, stroking my spine.
My lower l!p trembles. If I speak, I’m surely going to cry and I can’t cry anymore. If I start now, I’l never
stop. Nothing important.” I lie, shaking my head.
Ethan Wraps me in a hug, but even physicalfort is too emotional for me in this moment.
It’s too easy to let my mate take care of me, to fall apart knowing he’ll catch all the pieces and glue
them back together. I pull away from him, feeling another stab of shame for making this situation harder
on him. For all I know he might have been hugging me for his ownfort, but I don’t have the
strength to think about anything other than keeping myposure it’s taking absolutely everything I
have. “What promise?” I prompt him, blinding myself to the worry and pain on his face.
There’s a chance I’ll have to fight Aimon, if we can’t intercept the pups, or if something goes wrong
along the way, I might be forced to challenge him, or taken prisoner.” Ethan exins, his voice far too
gentle to be speaking about such grim matters.
Ethan no.” My wolf rears up, and suddenly my mood swings wild?y to anger. If we don’t intercept them,
we have to wait for a ransom and adapt. You can’t just charge in their and demand to get them back.”
I hear you.” He assures me, and I agree, but I’m saying there’s a chance no matter how smart we are,
how cleverly we y it – this is incredibly dangerous territory Janey.”
I know that!” I exim, “Don’t you think I know that?!”
“Of course.” He sighs. I’m not trying…. I just…
If things don’t go as nned, I need you to promise to save yourself and the pups. They need you
more than they need me, and if ites down to choosing between me and them, you have to choose
them.”
“You’re telling me, that if he captures you or you’re fighting for your life.. you want me to leave you
behind?” I summarize hoarsely, trying to wrap my mind around the impossible idea.
Yes.” Ethan confirms, and my inner wolf goes practically berserk. I have to fight the urge to shift then
and there, to let out my inner predator and attack anything that might threaten the man I love.
“Never.”I shake my head. I can’t do that, Ethan.”
You have to.” He states evenly. You have to think about -?
What if it was me?” I demand. Don’t you think I feel the same way? That the pupse before
everything else? I already suggested that I would rather myself be taken than them, and you bit my
head off. “
Because it’s not the same!” Ethan thunders, his own eyes glowing now. “You’re their mother.
And you’re their father!” I remind him. You not only protect us, but the whole pack. And what about the
boys, you think that if Aimon believes he finally has a chance to expand his empire onto the continent,
he’ll just let your heirs go – to grow up and challenge him?”
Then you’ll hide, you’ll go somewhere he can’t ever find you!” Ethan growls, That’s exactly why you
have to run if the worst happens to me, because if you and the pups are still here, he might not let you
get away.”
“No Ethan!” I say again. “I only just got you back. You’re the one who’s been going on about united
fronts and being a team. That doesn’t change just because things gets worse, if anything it makes it
more necessary. When we go home, we go as a family and if I’m not allowed to sacrifice myself for you
and the pups, you sure as hell aren’t either!
Ethan’s inner predator is in full control now, I can feel it deep inside – the raw power radiating off of
him. I know he’s about tosh out towards me and I try to dodge out of the way. But he’s too big, too
strong and fast. He catches me so easily I ought to be embarrassed, gripping my nape with pure
dominance and scowling down at me.
I can feel an ordering on, and not the usual kind. Not the sternmand of a man in charge, or
even the sexy kind I can choose whether or not to defy. When an Alpha wants to, he can put all his
power and authority into amand and make it impossible to refuse. Only an alpha of equal strength
could fight such an order, and I’m far from Ethan’s equal in power.
I thought he’d done this to me when he ordered me to stay behind in the NightFang territory, and that
somehow my maternal instincts overpowered it, but now I realize he’d done nothing of the sort. This
feels a hundred times stronger, and I wonder if it’s because his wolf is fully on board this time. When he
found me on the ship he said he hadn’t really wanted to let me out of his sight, so maybe that order
hadn’t been at full force…. But this one will be.
Don’t. I beg, tears welling in my eyes. “Please don’t do this.”
Ethan pauses only long enough to k!ss me, crashing his mouth down over mine and letting me feel
everyst ounce of his dominance. His l!ps move over mine as his tongue delves into my mouth,
sending shivers down my spine as he clutches me against him. He’s rough and ruthless, wringing all
the defiance out of me with every n!p and care*ss. The force of the k!ss takes my breath away, and for
a moment time stops.
I forget everything – where we are, why we were fighting, my own name – it feels as though he’s
reaching inside me and touching my very soul, reminding me of who and what we are to each other. Of
course, at the end of the day, he’s the alpha, and I’m the omega. What was it he’ d said when we were
young? The authority was for me to give and him to take?
I’m crying again, even though I’d been fighting to stay calm with all my willpower a few minutes ago. In
the face of Ethan’s strength, my defenses crumble, whether I consent to the surrender or not.
We’re both breathless when he pulls away, and he takes my face in hisrge hands, his glowing eyes
piercing me like a knife. “If ites to it, you will choose the pups and your own survival over me. If I
tell you to run, you’ll run. If it looks like I’ve lost, you’ll run. If I’m captured, you’ll run. You will leave me
behind, Jane – and that’s final.”
I’m shaking my head, even as his magic washes over me, taking hold deep in my bones. “Say it.”
He orders fiercely, tightening his hold on me.
I can’t refuse, I don’t have a choice – so I say the awful words, words I hate more than any I’ve ever
spoken before, “I’ll leave you behind.”
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