Chapter 137
Jane
I can’t lose them. I can’t.
When was thest time I held them? K!ssed them?
What were thest words I said to them? Do they know how close l am? Do they know how hard I’m
trying to rescue them? I would give anything to have them safely home. I would dly trade my own life
for theirs, though I hope it won’te to that. The paines and goes in waves, which is something
of a blessing.
Just when it bes so overwhelming that I think it will crush mepletely, it ebbs away, reced
with a yawning emptiness that leaves me hollow but not miserable.
We took action immediately when we learned about the pups new destination, but I fear it Won’t be
enough. We left Sophie and her brother with Thomas and Mary, and jumped in the car, only stopping
for petrol. My eyes are so sore from searching the road and surrounding forests, but that’s about to be
the least of my problems.
“I think l’m going to be sick” I choke, looking around the car. We’re speeding down the King’s Highway,
desperately trying to catch up with the theatre troupe. The vehicle is veering around the twists and
turns of the mountain roads, and for once I have no fears that my unsettled stomach might be caused
by a pregnancy – I know this is good old motion sickness.
Ethan immediately applies the brakes, as if he intends to pull over. I grip the handhold over my head
with a white-knuckled fist. “No- don’t stop! l just need a bag or something.”
Jane –
“Don’t stop!” I repeat stubbornly.
“Here” Linda produces a stic bag, dumping out the water bottles and snacks we purchased at our
last fuel stop. It’s just in the knick of time. Thankfully my hair is up, and I reach into the bag, emptying
the contents of my stomach and grimacing at the unpleasant sight and smell of my own sick. I m0an
pitifully when it’s over, sipping some water to take the sour taste out of my mouth. There’s nothing left
for my body to expel, but stomach acid and bile- but l still feel terrible.
“Poor baby? Ethan strokes my hair, but doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Are you sure you don’t want
me to slow down? These roads aren’t going to get any less windy for a while.”
“No, don’t slow down.” l insist. I have to get to my pups. I kills me that we came so close to finding
them, only to have them snatched away at thest moment. I can tell Ethan is worried about me
pushing myself too hard, and is clearly grappling for a way to prioritize me and finding the pups at the
same time. I suppose that’s why he didn’t want me toe. But l had to -I would have gone crazy if l’d
stayed behind. Besides, the pups are going to need me when we find them. They’re probably so
frightened. I can almost see them now, huddled in trunks, not knowing what’s happening.
What if they run out of air? Is there enough oxygen in those trunks? I whimper aloud at the thought.
“We have to go faster:” I urge, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
“Any faster and we’ll risk a crash Ethan tells me, using his most soothing tone.
“Stop talking to me like that.” l beg. “You can’t make this better by coddling me” Suddenly I remember
Ethan’s habit of pulling over cars for lectures, and l’m afraid he might do so now – but I should have
known that hé would never do that at such a critical moment.
In the past our speed hasn’t been able to solve or hurry up resolving our emergencies, now it might
cost us everything.
He simply shoots me a disapproving look, “And if one of the pups was beside themself and could calm
down on their own, would you just let them spiral?
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“But I’m not one of the pups!” l exim. “The pups are out there somewhere at this very moment,
probably feeling exactly the same way and l’m not there tofort them! Don’t you understand that?”
Tears are burning in my eyes now. They could be overheating or suffocating as we speak, we can’t
waste a single second!”
“1 hear you, sweetheart. I truly do.” I believe him. I can feel the tension radiating off him in waves and I
can tell he wants to reach for me, hold me, but we both know he can’t. I think not being able to make
me feel better is as upsetting for him as not being able tofort the pups is for me. I suddenly feel
very guilty for making things harder on him. How am l supposed to cope with such a thing? If I feel
badly I hurt my mate, but I can’t help feeling badly. Ethan changes tactics before I cane up with an
answer, “You have to keep your head, Janey. If you fall to pieces you won’t be able to do what’s
necessary.”
“1 know I whimper.”l just feel like they’re slipping out of my fingers. Like every moment we don’t find
them, is another mile of distance between us. How much more time can pass before they’re too far out
of reach to ever get back?”
“But it’s the opposite.” Linda interjects. “Every moment is a step closer to them.”
“That’s right.” Ethan agrees. “Just keep telling yourself that.”
We drive until the sun begins to set and Ethan slows atst, pulling over to the side of the road. At first I
think he might be making a pit stop to use the restroom, but he doesn’t step out of the car. “What are
you doing?” I ask.
He turns to me with a furrowed brow. “Do you think they’ll stop for the night?”
“What day are they performing for the king?” I inquire, looking back at Linda.
“The clerk didn’t have the details, just the destination.” She exins with a frown.
“And how much further is the capital?” l question, realizing the problem at once. If they stop and we
don’t – we’ll pass them by. But if we stop and they don’t, we’l never catch up.
“Halfa day – at least.” Ethan informs us.
“If it was me, l’d stop.” Linda reasons. “Unless the performance is first thing tomorrow.”
“Can we look it up?” I wonder aloud.
Linda pulls out her phone, typing as quickly as she can. “It’s not for three days.” She finally announces.
“Good.” I breathe a sigh of relief.
“So do we stop?” Linda questions.
“Well unless they stop right on the side of the road we’ll never know we’ve passed them.” I muse, “We
can’t risk that.”
“Or maybe that’s better.” Linda counters, “If we get to the capital before them we could intercept them
when they arrive.”
“But what if the pups run away again before that?”
Ethan suggests. “They might not be with the troupe anymore by the time they reach the city:”
“We have to find them tonight.”I dere, a new and terrifying thought entering my head. “lf the troupe
doesn’t unpack the trunks when they stop, the pups will be trapped until they arrive… without food or
water.”
“Jane’s right.” Ethan murmurs. “But I don’t know how to find them. It would be one thing if we could
track them, but it’s impossible.”
“Is there a phone number for thepany?” I ask suddenly.
“There must be – otherwise how would anyone book them!” Ethan says excitedly.
Linda is typing away again, “There is – Goddess, I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before!” She
raises her phone to her ear, then swears.”D*mnit, there’s no service. We must be in too remote of an
area.”
“Keep trying” l encourage, “Maybe see if you can get some bars moving around.
Linda steps out of the car, lifting her phone up and trying to get a signal. Meanwhile I look to Ethan.
“We can’t risk passing them” I state gravely. “I think we have to stay in this general area and try to find
service or andline so we can call them. If we can’t get hold of them we can keep driving tomorrow
and hope we catch them. But if we drive ahead of them we’ll never find them until it’s toote”
“You’re right” He concurs. “I saw a sign for a hotel a few miles back. Maybe they have a phone we can
use.
If we can pick the pups up tonight we’ll need a ce to sleep anyway.”
“Okay.” I nod and call Linda back to the car, quickly filling her in on our n. Just as we turn around, I
think I spy a sh of red up ahead, but when l look back, there’s nothing but an endless sea of jungle.
I must have imagined it.
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