Chapter 122
Jane
Thest few days have passed in a dizzying haze. I’ve slept through much of our journey, and though
Ethan has remained by my side in my waking hours, I do have to wonder what he, Eric and Linda have
been nning while I- rest. Today we’ve finally reached a midway port to resupply for the rest of the
trip, and when Ethan wakes me with the news that I can finally get off this boat, I can’t move fast
enough.
When I emerge from his luxury cabin and feel the ze of the unforgiving tropical sun for the first time,
I can only think of my babies. Would the traffickers give them sunscreen? Would they have enough
water? The worry consumes me so quickly and powerfully my knees go weak.
It’s almost too tempting to return to the drug induced haze I’ve floated in the past few days, but I know
that isn’t right.
It’s a selfish inclination, to save myself having to feel these things, when my pups don’t have any such
luxury.
I tell Ethan as much as he helps me off the boat. I don’t want any more medications when we board
again.
Ethan.”
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His strong arms are around me, guiding me forward down the gangway. “Sweetheart you’ll be sick as a
dog without them.”
Then let me be sick” I state simply, “I shouldn’t get to avoid suffering when everyone else around me is
stuck with their pain… when the pups didn’t have that privilege.”
“Jane” Ethan sighs, dragging his hand through his hair.
You dying of dehydration isn’t going to save anyone any suffering- especially not the pups.”
“It doesn’t feel right.” l insist. “I want…”
“You want what? To hurt?” Ethan guesses, hitting the nail square on the head.
“Yes,” I confess, my throat thick with emotion. “I want to hurt, because I know they’re hurting too. I want
to hurt… because l deserve it.”
To Ethan’s credit, he doesn’t say a word about my drastic mood swings. I think he understands that my
grief is sending me spiraling from one extreme to the next. The fact is I can’t evene to terms with
the abrupt shifts myself. One moment l’m begging him to take away my pain by making love to me, and
the next l’m wishing for nothing more than the freedom to wallow in my misery – and each end of the
spectrum feels so surreal and strange that any other headspace seems like an impossibility.
Ethan pauses us right in the middle of the ship’s boarding ramp, gathering me to his chest. It’s much
too hot for our bodies to be pressed together this way, but his solid strength grounds me like nothing
else. “You don’t deserve it.”
Ethan murmurs. “You don’t deserve any of this.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he stops me before I can reject hisfort. “You’ve trusted me this far,
Jane. So please trust me now. I wouldn’t lie to you – not about this.”
Looking up at him with wide eyes, I realize he’s right. I – have trusted him thus far, and he hasn’t givén
me any reasons to doubt him. Though I was incredibly disgruntled at the time, l’m grateful that Ethan
didn’t give into me the other night. The memories are still fuzzy, but I know l admitted more than l’m
comfortable with, and I hate to think what else I might have let slip in the throes of passion.
He wasn’t wrong, I feel safer with him knowing he didn’t take advantage of my altered state, and it
makes it easier to believe him now. The more time that passes, the more I see how badly I misjudged
Ethan. Still, I have a hard time epting that he’s telling me these things because they’re true, rather
than because he doesn’t want me to be in pain.
Somehow I bite my tongue, leaning into him as we continue off the ship. “So what happens now?”
“Now, Eric goes ahead on his own.” Ethan exins. This ind is governed by NightFang allies, but
Aimon is bound to have a few spies running around. So you, Linda and I need to find disguises, and
Eric is going to sail on a different ship to avoid us being associated with one another.”
As we step off the gangway, I expect to feel my stomach instantly settle. After all, we’re no longer
swaying two and fro on the water. However l’m disappointed by solid ground. I don’t find any relief from
the sour churning in my belly, and btedly I recall that it can take some time to regain one’snd
legs”. “How long will we stop?” l inquire, wondering whether it’s better to give myself time to recover,
when I have to get back on a damned ship and start the wretched illness over again, or if I should try to
get the entire journey out of the way at once.
“Just long enough to get the disguises.” Ethan announces, seeming to read my mind. “The sooner we
reach the Southern Isles, the better.”
“Linda’s not going to be happy about Eric going ahead without her.”‘ I muse. From what I remember of
my brief visits with my friend, she’d been working hard to convince the Prince to take her along on his
advance trip. It might have been easier for her to ept his refusal if he hadn’t imed her during their
long lovemaking sessions on the ship, but it seems that once he opened his blind eyes and finally saw
the woman who’d been standing in front of him all along – he hadn’t been able to resist. Now they were
almost as good as mated, and he was still nning on leaving her behind.
“You can say that again.” Ethan purrs in my ear, nodding to the dock on our left. As if they’d been
reading my mind, Eric and Linda are standing there nose to nose, arguing about the n.
“Tell me the truth!” Linda demands loudly, “Did you im me just so you could make this decision for
me?”
“Of course not!” Eric insisted. “I imed you because I love you!”
“Oh, just apparently not enough to introduce me to your family!” Linda argues back.
“Because my family are lunatics!” Eric shouts, I’m not introducing you, because I don’t want them to kill
you in your sleep!”
“No you’re just going to leave me behind so someone else can murder me!” Linda bites back.
“No one is going to murder you, as long as you stay with Ethan.” Eric growls.
“Ethan is the one your family wants dead more than anyone – he’s the reason this is all happening,
how am I safer with him?” Linda reasons.
As curious as I am to continue eavesdropping on their argument, l’m more concerned with the impact
my friend’s words might have on Ethan. Looking up at him, I can see the tension gripping his features.
His jaw twitches dangerously.
She’s right, you know. He grumbles. “That’s why I wanted you to stay home”
“And it’s also why I had toe.” I murmur, clenching my eyes shut as I feel my stomach rise in my
throat. “Not only because of the pups, but because you need someone to watch your back.”
“You were worried about me?” Ethan arches a brow, petting my sides when he sees my greenish
expression.
“In part.”l shrug nomittally, for once grateful that my traitorous stomach is giving me an excuse to
change the subject. “Goddess, I think l’m going to be sick again.”I lunge for the nearest trash
receptacle, and Ethan holds my hair back and croons sympathetically.
“Tsk, I really hoped being onnd would help” He frowns.
“Just give it time.” I gasp, coughing and retching, wishing I hadn’t let Ethan convince me to eat so much
breakfast this morning.
A momentter Linda storms up to us, looking entirely annoyed, but sympathetic to my plight. “Still
feeling dismal, huh?”
“Yeah.” I groan, “And you?”
“Pissed” She admits, ncing at Ethan when his phone begins to ring. “I’ve got this.” She promises
when he hesitates, looking in my direction with concern.
Thanks” Ethan says, “l’ll only be a few moments.”
Linda rubs my back and gives me a sip of water when I finish being sick. “Does it ever get easier
dealing with Alphas?
l actually manage augh. “No. They always think they know best… and sometimes they do, but other
times they’re as blockheaded as any other man.”
“You can say that again” She mutters, but l also see her smothering a smile.
“Are you happy though?”I ask, feeling thoroughly out of the loop. Her romance happened so fast, and I
missed all the important stages. Before I fell ill Eric was still oblivious to Linda’s interest, but a few days
of seasickness and all of a sudden they were glued at the h!p.
“Deliriously”‘ Linda beams. “I know it happened really fast and we aren’t exactly agreeing about what
happens next, “she hedges, earning a snort from me. “But l’ve wanted this for so long. As long as we’re
together, I have everything I need. “
Ethan returns to my side then, an indecipherable expression on his handsome face. “l just got a report
from one of my agents in the Southern lsles. There hasn’t been any word of the pups, or any signs that
the King knows they’re missing.”
“What does that mean?” l ask, feeling lightheaded.
Ethan looks like he doesn’t want to answer, but eventually caves. “l don’t know.”
“And Eric?” Linda asks urgently, looking around for her newfound mate.
Ethan sighs. “He’s already gone.”
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