CHARLIE & JOSALINE
Logan!
LOGAN
Can I come in? I feel lonely out here.
CHARLIE
I wouldn''t mind, but this is a two seater, bro. There''s nowhere for you to sit. I would let you stay on the wind shield, I gotta see where I''m driving.
LOGAN
I don''t think so, bub.
CHARLIE
So, you want to stay on there, making it harder for me to drive?
Josaline looks at Charlie.
JOSALINE
Really, Charlie?
Charlie looks at Josaline.
CHARLIE
What do you want me to do? There''s only two seats; no more room for anybody else.
JOSALINE
You can get out and let Logan in.
CHARLIE
(sarcastically)
Hey, that sounds like a great idea.
JOSALINE
You really think so?
CHARLIE
Fuck no! I''m not getting out for that asshole.
LOGAN
Don''t worry, bub. I have an idea.
Charlie looks at Logan.
CHARLIE
Is it a good idea?
LOGAN
If it wasn''t, what would you do about it, bub?
Charlie closes his eyes and crosses his arms.
CHARLIE
(sigh)
Do what you got to do.
Logan jumps off the Knight Mobile and lands on the street, closest to the driver side. Logan tries to open car door, but it was locked. Logan knocks on the window.
LOGAN
Unlock the door, bub.
Charlie opens his eyes and looks at Logan.
CHARLIE
Are you nuts?! I''m not unlocking the door. There could be Zombie''s out there.
JOSALINE
Earlier, you got out the car just to get some fucking ice-cream.
Charlie looks at Josaline.
CHARLIE
That''s different...
JOSALINE
How?
CHARLIE
I can eat ice-cream. I can''t eat him.
Josaline unlocks the door from the passenger side of the Knight Mobile.
CHARLIE
What are you doing?!
Logan opens the driver side door. Charlie reaches for the door to close it, but misses.
CHARLIE
Close the door!
Logan unbuckles Charlie''s seatbelt.
LOGAN
Get out the car, bub.
CHARLIE
Make me!
Logan grabs Charlie by the shirt and pulls him from out of the Knight Mobile.
CHARLIE
Get off of me, you has-been!
Logan carries Charlie to the passenger side of the Knight Mobile.
CHARLIE
SOMEONE HELP ME! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
When Logan gets to the passenger side of the Knight Mobile, he opens the passenger side door.
LOGAN
Josaline, get out.
JOSALINE
Over my dead body!
LOGAN
You don''t want to say that to me. I can literally make that come true.
Josaline begins to sweat.
LOGAN
Get out the damn car!
JOSALINE
...OK.
Josaline gets out the Knight Mobile.
CHARLIE
Put me down already! I don''t like to be man handled!
LOGAN
I will.
Logan throws Charlie in the passenger seat.
CHARLIE
About damn time! But you didn''t have to throw me!
LOGAN
Stop whining!
Josaline looks at Logan.
JOSALINE
What now?
Logan looks at Josaline.
LOGAN
Sit on his lap.
Charlie quickly looks at Logan.
CHARLIE & JOSALINE
What?!
LOGAN
You heard me, sit on his lap.
JOSALINE
I''m not sitting on his lap!
LOGAN
If you don''t, you''ll be sorry.
JOSALINE
What? You''re going to kill me?
Logan points behind Josaline.
LOGAN
No, but they will.
Charlie and Josaline see a horde of Zombies running their way.
CHARLIE
Why is there a horde of Zombies conveniently behind us?
LOGAN
If I were you, I would hurry up and sit on his lap.
JOSALINE
But you''re not me!
LOGAN
I know and it feels great.
Logan quickly heads to the driver side of the Knight Mobile and closes the door.
JOSALINE
There''s got to be another way!
CHARLIE
Hurry up and get in, Josaline! We do not have time for this!
JOSALINE
FINE!
Josaline quickly gets into the Knight Mobile and sits on Charlie''s lap. Next, she quickly slams the passenger side door.
JOSALINE
I''m not enjoying this!
CHARLIE
Well...neither am I!
Josaline turns around and sees Charlie smiling.
JOSALINE
Why are you smiling?!
Charlie stops smiling.
CHARLIE
No reason...
LOGAN
You''re going to enjoy this. Hope you have your seat belts fastened.
Josaline buckles their seat belt, squeezing them tightly.
CHARLIE
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. Can... barely... breathe...
LOGAN
Here we go!
Logan slams on the gas pedal and the Bat Mobile sped down the road.
(Meanwhile)
Two people are walking down a hallway in a building.
KINDRA
Sir! The Zombie attack rate has gone up by 25%. Soon this entire city will be overrun by them.
The man starts laughing.
MAN
This is going perfectly.
KINDRA
But sir, isn''t th-
The man slaps Kindra in the face, causing her to stop talking. They both stop walking while Kindra slowly rubs her face.
MAN
Don''t you even attempt to talk back to me.
Kindra slowly turns her head towards the man while continuously rubbing her face.
KINDRA
Yes, sir.
The both begin to walking again.
MAN
Good.
They both continue down a hallway until they end up at a door with a sign that reads, "Personnel Only."
MAN
Behind this door is where the magic happens.
(Meanwhile)
Candice is on the ground with bruises all over her body, barely able to sit up.
CANDICE
Damn! He’s strong.
Captain Shoulder slowly walks to Candice.
SHOULDER
Is this really the best you can do? So pathetic... You have no right to be in my presence.
Captain Shoulder grabs Candice’s neck with one hand and lifts her in the air.
CANDICE
Uhhh...
SHOULDER
What happen to all that talk earlier, huh? Now you have nothing to say.
Captain Shoulder begins laughing.
CANDICE
(He’s... too strong. I can’t... beat him. If... only I was... stronger. I’m…)
(Flashback begins)
As a kid, Candice is walking home from school one evening. Three boys make their way in front of Candice, causing her to stop walking. She look at the boys.
CANDICE
Can I help you?
The boys start smiling.
BOY #1
We don’t want to start any trouble. Just give us your money and we’ll be on our way. Unless, you’re willing to offer something else, if you know what I mean.
The boys start laughing.
CANDICE
If you’re not trying to start any trouble, why do you want to take my money without permission? You guys just want to start trouble.
BOY #2
Listen here, girly. Just give us what you have and there won’t be any more trouble. Capisce?
BOY #3
Yeah. Give us what you got.
CANDICE
You three do not know what it mean to feel pain and suffering the way I felt. All my life I had to fight for what was rightfully mine and there was nobody there to support me. NOBODY! Now, I’m being pestered by a group of low lives about money. How low will you idiots go before you are satisfied?
BOY #3
Wow! That was deep.
BOY #1
Shut up! We don’t care about your life story or the struggle you went through. We just want your damn money. Now hand it over!
The boy throws a punch at Candice, but misses and he loses track of her.
BOY #1
What?
The boy begins looking around for Candice.
BOY #1
Where’d she go?
BOY #2
WATCH OUT! SHE’S BENEATH YOU!
The boy looks down and sees Candice. She''s squatting down and smiling at the boy.
BOY #1
YOU LITTLE BITCH!
The boy throws another punch at Candice, but she avoids the punch. Candice heel kicks the boy in the chin, causing him to do two backflips in the air and then fall on the ground, landing on his back.
BOY #3
D-Did she defeat Jack?!
Candice stands up and looks at Jack.
BOY #2
Jack, are you ok?
Jack lifts his head.
JACK
(dazed)
Don’t worry, mommy. I took spike out for a walk.
BOY #2
How could she do that to poor jack?
Candice looks at the other two boys.
CANDICE
Who else wants to kiss the pavement?
BOY #2
YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS, YOU MONSTER!
BOY #3
YEAH!
The two boys ran away from Candice.
CANDICE
HEY!
The two boys stop running and turns to look at Candice.
CANDICE
I think you’re forgetting something.
Candice kicks Jack one last time and then walks off.
BOY #2 & BOY #3
JACK!
The boys ran to Jack and kneels down beside Jack.
BOY #2
Poor Jack. Look at what she did to him.
BOY #3
I think he just lost his “Man” card after that beating.
BOY #2
What are you talking about? He never had one to begin with.
The two boys begin to laughing. Afterward, they immediately stop.
BOY #2
But all jokes aside, homie. Let’s go inform the boss. He’ll know what to do.
Boy #3 gets worry.
BOY #3
What are you saying, man?! He’s going to destroy her!
BOY #2
That’s the idea, jackass! Now, help me!
The boys lifts Jack from off the ground and places him over their shoulder.
BOY #2
Mark my words, Phil. She will pay for what she’s done and then some. I will be there to watch her suffer.
Boy #3 looks at Boy #2
BOY #3
My name is Tracey.
BOY #2
Whatever.
Boy #2 notices a boy on a bicycle, watching them.
BOY #2
Huh? Hey Paul, who is that?
TRACEY
MY NAME IS TRACEY, ASSHOLE!
Tracey looks in the same direction as Boy #2 and notices the boy on the bicycle.
TRACEY
I have no idea.
BOY #2
So, you don’t know who he is?
TRACEY
I just said I don’t know. You think asking me again will change that?
Boy #2 looks at Tracey.
BOY #2
Stop freaking out, man. I was just asking a question.
TRACEY
A stupid question.
Boy #2 looks at the boy on the bicycle.
BOY #2
Hey, kid. What are you looking at?
The boy on the bicycle became nervous.
BOY #4
N-Nothing.
The boy rides away from the other two boys.
TRACEY
HEY! GET BACK HERE, PUNK!
BOY #2
Leave him be, Troy. That kid is no threat to us.
Tracey look at Boy #2 with rage.
TRACEY
MY NAME IS TRACEY, YOU UNEDUCATED FUCKTARD!
BOY #2
Who the fuck cares? You''re just a minor character in this story who''s probably not going to be mentioned anymore after this flashback is over.
While Boy #2 talks, saliva rushes from out of his mouth and lands on Tracey''s face.
BOY #2
So, shut the hell up and help me take Jack to the boss.
Tracey wipes the spit off his face with his hand.
TRACEY
Damn, bro. Say it, don''t spray it.
The two boys carry Jack away. The next morning, Candice is walking to school.
CANDICE
I hope I get a chance to dissect a rabbit today in Biology. So much fun.
Candice notices three people walking towards her.
CANDICE
Huh... Now, who could they be?
Candice realizes they are the three boys from yesterday and Candice stops walking.
CANDICE
Not you three again. What do you want? My money again?
The boys stop walking.
JACK
We want pay back from yesterday.
BOY #2
And we want your money.
TRACEY
And skittles.
Candice starts laughing uncontrollably.
CANDICE
You guys are just too much. I cannot take you serious.
JACK
Let''s see you keep laughing after this!
Jack whistles and a group of guys appears around Candice, surrounding her. Candice stops laughing and the boys start smiling.
BOY #2
I see you stopped laughing.
JACK
I want you to meet the rest of the crew.
Candice looks at Jack.
CANDICE
You knew you couldn''t beat me on your own... so you decided to bring the rest of the pathetic losers.
Candice starts smiling.
CANDICE
I don''t blame you though. If I were you, I would probably do the same thing, seeing as though you got spanked by a girl. But luckily, I''m not you.
???
On the contrary. My men are not losers if they are able to win.
Candice stops smiling.
CANDICE
Who said that?
Candice looks around searching for the voice she heard.
CANDICE
Show yourself, you coward!
???
I''m over here.
Candice looks at Jack and sees a little kid come from behind him. The kid walks in front of Jack and stops directly in front of Candice.
CANDICE
Whose little brother is that?
KID
I''m-
JACK
He''s the boss.
The kid looks up at Jack.
BOSS
Jack?
Jack looks down at the kid.
JACK
Yes, boss?
BOSS
How many times have I told you not to interrupt me while I''m talking?
Jack begins to sweat.
JACK
One too many times, boss.
BOSS
And what did you just do?
JACK
I... ummm... interrupted... you.
BOSS
Get down here.
Jack gets scared.
JACK
But boss...
BOSS
NOW!
Jack kneels down to the height of the kid. The kid kicks Jack in the nose, causing Jack to fall down to the ground.
JACK
Ahhhhhhhhh! MY NOSE!
Jack''s nose starts to bleed.
BOSS
Now stand up and shut up.
Jack reluctantly stands up while holding his nose. The kid faces back at Candice.
BOSS
As I was saying, I''m Korneallius Reeves, but you can call me Korn.
Candice starts laughing.
KORN
What do you find so funny?
Candice stops laughing and smiles and Korn.
CANDICE
Like any of that is going to matter.
Candice points at Korn.
CANDICE
You guys just keep giving me an arsenal of insults to send back at you.
KORN
Excuse me?
Candice stops pointing at Korn.
CANDICE
Listen here, Cream Korn. I know why your little so called "crew" is so weak.
KORN
Weak? Would you please do me the pleasure of telling me why you believe they are weak?
CANDICE
It would be my pleasure. It''s because their so called "boss" is a toddler who probably still wear diapers and cries home to his mommy whenever he gets a boo boo on his elbow.
A vain pulsates from the top of Korn''s head.
KORN
You don''t say.
CANDICE
I don''t know what''s more embarrassing. Having "Baby Bop" as a boss or getting beat up by a shrimp who still has similac on their breathe.
Another vain pulsates from the side of his head.
KORN
Care to find out for yourself how it feels to get your ass kicked by a toddler?
CANDICE
(smug)
Who do I look like fighting a baby such as yourself. No thanks. I don''t feel like going to jail because of child abuse.
KORN
I see. It appears the only thing that''s big about you are your words.
Candice gets annoyed.
CANDICE
Seems to me you need to be taught a lesson! Luckily for you, I''m a great teacher!