Chapter 230: Why Am I Here, Just to Suffer?
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin was finally brought back to reality, his stiff refusal to move melted away by the shout of the orc boy.
<span style="font-weight:400">His eyes focused on Charlotte, her arm bleeding from fourrge gashes in it. He looked to the side seeing the minx had died.
<span style="font-weight:400">He gripped his mace and cursed. He had been so frozen in fear that the fight was over in a sh.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">What determination… It’s just like all the other times…</i><span style="font-weight:400"> He thought, anger boiling up in his mind.
<span style="font-weight:400">Lanin forced himself to move, running to Charlotte’s side.
<span style="font-weight:400">“A-are you alright Charlotte?”
<span style="font-weight:400">She gave a weak groan of pain but grinned at him.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Y-yeah. That was way scarier than I thought it would be,” sheughed wryly with a wince.
<span style="font-weight:400">“How can you joke at a time like this,” Landin frowned, bringing his hand to her arm.
<span style="font-weight:400">“I guess Drake is rubbing off on me?”
<span style="font-weight:400">“Yeah, let’s hope that isn’t the case. Just give me a second and I’ll fix you right up.”
<span style="font-weight:400">“<i><span style="font-weight:400">May your flesh be cured, Mend.”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">A weak white light radiated from his palm spreading over Charlotte’s wound, mending and closing the gashes leaving only small white lines for scars on the exposed flesh.
<span style="font-weight:400">He ground his teeth. <i><span style="font-weight:400">This is not what I had in mind when I thought I was going to finally get magic. I thought I could change this time, change something at least! And I’m still stuck here messing up left and right!</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">Charlotte looked on amazed at the spell, watching as her arm weaved back together right in front of her,pletely oblivious to the turmoil inside Landin’s chaotic mind.
<span style="font-weight:400">She flexed her hand feeling it return to almost normal from the spell.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Thank you, Landin, I feel way better now,” she said.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin only nodded back still struggling to calm down his thoughts and regret of not helping with the previous fight.
<span style="font-weight:400">Kalik shouted something from behind them, pointing off into the distance. But they couldn’t understand his words. Charlotte, Landin, and Quetz stood looking confused.
<span style="font-weight:400">He tried again, pointing from the monster to himself, then to the forest again.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Ah!” Charlotte said, realizing what he was trying to convey finally, “He wants us to move because of the monster’s blood. It’s a good idea, we should change locations, there isn’t any telling if there are more in the area.”
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin’s mind was still a mess and he could only respond with a grunt.
<span style="font-weight:400">“What’s wrong?” Charlotte asked, “Don’t get too hung up on thest fight, Landin. Kalik is a veteran hunter, remember?” she said, trying to console him.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Y-yeah…” he answered weakly.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">That isn’t the problem. You were able to fight right?</i><span style="font-weight:400"> He thought with self-depreciation.
<span style="font-weight:400">Charlotte quickly re-exined the best she could for Quetz until the avian nodded in affirmation. Landin offered to heal Kalik as well but the brusk Orc boy only growled him away.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Fine, all good dude, stay hurt…” Landin muttered.
<span style="font-weight:400">Soon after they departed together in a random direction. Landin only assumed that their goal was to find a ce to stay as the white snow was painted in the glow of the orange setting sun.
<span style="font-weight:400">He began to lose himself in his thoughts again.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin could hear theughing of his schoolmates in the back of his head, their voices soon drowning out the surroundings, the background noise turning to a deafening volume.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“You actually like that stuff?”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Why not go to an old home? That shit is for kids and the decrepit!”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Look, everyone! Raymond likes fucking dolls and cartoons!”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Get a life loser!”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Aren’t you a little old for that stuff?”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Ha! No wonder you don’t have any friends!”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">He tried to push back the haunting memory that was the start of abuse at school. It started with harmless teasing at first, then slowly increased to full-scale bullying. His locker being spray painted and threatening letters were left inside.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin shrank at the memory. He never med the other kids. The stuff he liked, he knew weren’t the same things kids his age enjoyed. But he found sce in the shows, the soothing beats of Jazz, the way the old blues gave his soul relief from the distress of growing up and school.
<span style="font-weight:400">But going into high school the mound of stress only kept growing. And he tried to find an outlet. He decided to take up skating. Throwing his whole heart into it. He practiced every day and spent what money he could on getting shoes, boards, and other things like wax and grip tape. Even saving up for a camera to eventually start posting videos of his progress.
<span style="font-weight:400">However, the bullying at school had be worse, reaching its peak. They had stolen his skateboard, smashing it in half in front of him. Beating the shit out of him in the process.
<span style="font-weight:400">He returned home, bruised and bleeding, his lip swelling like a bee had stung it several times. After opening the door Landin only wanted toy down and rest, his will and mind hazy, broken, and unstable.
<span style="font-weight:400">When he walked inside he was greeted by his parents. And what had happened, broke him. The only thing they were worried about was not the injuries he had gotten, but how much it would cost them to bring him to the hospital.
<span style="font-weight:400">They had both berated him for continuing to get bullied at school and liking the hobbies he did as if it was <i><span style="font-weight:400">his</i><span style="font-weight:400"> fault he had garnered such negative attention. They continued to yell and shout telling him to stop having his head in the clouds thinking of things that would obviously fail.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin put one foot in front of the other, the familiar crunch of snow sounding below eachnguid step.
<span style="font-weight:400">He scoffed to himself, “Yeah… Obviously fail. Just like the other times… Everything I do is bound to fail. They were right then and they’re right now-”
<span style="font-weight:400">His lengthy line of self-deprecating insults was cut short as he mmed into something.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin grunted in both surprise and pain, his hand going to his head, rubbing at it furiously as if doing so would make the pain go away.
<span style="font-weight:400">He looked up, gripping his mace tightly as he remembered where he was. However, the only thing there was the trunk of a tree.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Bro… I was so distracted I ran into a tree?” he sighed, brushing himself off and getting up.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin gave one more deep exacerbated sigh, “What the hell is wrong with me. I should have just backed out…”
<span style="font-weight:400">He quickly put his head on a swivel the next moment. Unable to hear the crunching of snow. Looking around he found no one. He had gotten separated.
<span style="font-weight:400">“What the hell…”
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin groaned in frustration. Just what the hell was he doing? Dragged around by a man he barely knew, even if he did save him. Going along with something as dangerous as fighting monsters just because he wanted to impress a girl he saw. Then not backing out because he was too frightened to at thest minute.
<span style="font-weight:400">His parents were right. He had his head in the clouds, he was nothing but a disaster waiting to happen, he was a burden to them and now he was a burden to both Drake and the group he was with.
<span style="font-weight:400">“I-i better retrace my steps and get back, hopefully, the footprints are still in the snow since it isn''t snowing,” he stammered, fighting back a frustrated sob.
<span style="font-weight:400">He turned following his footsteps for a few minutes only to be stopped in his tracks.
<span style="font-weight:400">“N-no way. T-this can’t be happening!” he shouted in disbelief.
<span style="font-weight:400">In front of him were two massive pigs, or would calling them boars be more apt?
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin took one hesitant step backward, only to hear more crunching of snow behind him.
<span style="font-weight:400">His head creaked as it turned to look over his shoulder, two more boars with long tusks grunting puffs of white as they shook their heads, a menacing glint in their eyes.
<span style="font-weight:400">“No, no, no!” he shouted, but his legs refused to move, “No, not now! Move! Move or I’m going to die!”
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin gave a bitter grunt as he was tossed into the air, the wind knocked out of his chest.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">W-what happened?</i><span style="font-weight:400"> He thought, his vision swimming as his surroundings blurred.
<span style="font-weight:400">He felt a jolting pain in his chest as he struggled to right himself.
<span style="font-weight:400">But the grunting from before sounded again.
<span style="font-weight:400">Lanin looked up wearily, another boar charging towards him. His body locked up once again, unable to move as the lumbering monster ran straight for him.
<span style="font-weight:400">He screamed, bringing his mace upwards and down as fast as his body could manage somehow striking the boar right in the center of its skull forcing it off course.
<span style="font-weight:400">However, its long tusk managed to clip Landin, piercing his club arm straight through the forearm.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Ahhhhh!” he barked, giving a shriek of pain.
<span style="font-weight:400">Despite the pain, he could hear his parents. Hear them yelling and reprimanding him.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Why are you causing trouble for others?”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Do you know how much we’ve helped you only for you to keep ying around and getting hurt?”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“Why are you wasting all this time and money when you’re just going to end up failing again?”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">He screamed.
<span style="font-weight:400">“Why!”
<span style="font-weight:400">The boar continued to charge forward with Landin in tow, unrelenting as it put one hoofed foot in front of the other, bringing him right back into the small herd of boars.
<span style="font-weight:400">But the voices kept a deafening volume in Landin’s head, even with his end clearly looming over him.
<span style="font-weight:400">He gave another broken sob of despair, “WHY! Why am I here?! Why does it always turn out this way!?”
<span style="font-weight:400">The boar finally reached the others, running past the group of boars, the blow Landin had given it doing more damage than it expected as it careened to the side embedding the tusk into a nearby tree.
<span style="font-weight:400">With another painful groan, Landin mmed against the trunk with an audible thud.
<span style="font-weight:400">He could taste blood as he ground his teeth in frustration. The voices of disappointment and reproach never-ending.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin looked blearily around himself, the three other boars slowly closing in as the one that pinned him to the tree drooled a pink mixture of blood and saliva, knocked unconscious.
<span style="font-weight:400">“I… I don’t want to die... I don’t want it to end with what they said being true!” he grunted.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“May your flesh be cured, Mend...”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">A light glow of white spread over his body from his other hand. At some point, he had dropped his cross but somehow still held on to his mace, possibly the tusk had locked his hand into ce forcing a death grip on the weapon.
<span style="font-weight:400">But his time to heal was limited, the next moment an excruciating pain burrowed itself into his chest.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin looked down, a red-smeared tusk jutting from his torso.
<span style="font-weight:400">He coughed, tears of frustration beading down his face. And even on hisst legs, the voices continued.
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“You are a failure.”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“You are nothing.”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“You’re just a burden.”</i>
<i><span style="font-weight:400">“</i><span style="font-weight:400">No…” Landin finally growled back, his hand gripping the boar’s tusk.
<span style="font-weight:400">“I don’t care anymore!” he roared, “Just shut the hell up already! Who are you to say what I am?! You never supported me anyway! Where were you when they abused me! Where were you, when that olddy tried to fucking kidnap me!? You were never there!”
<span style="font-weight:400">Something had snapped inside Landin. The frustration boiled over turning into unbridled bristling anger that needed a way out.
<span style="font-weight:400">“The only one who’s been there was him! He helped me! Not you! So get the hell out of my head!” Landin screamed back, his free hand beginning to glow with a dark purple hue, “Even if I am worthless, that isn’t for you to decide anymore. I’m going to survive and get stronger for him. For them. For <i><span style="font-weight:400">me!”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">“<i><span style="font-weight:400">I am what ails you, Wrath!”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">The purple light around his hand congealed and covered the Boar’s face, sinking into its hide. A momentter it bucked and shrieked in pain, wrenching its tusk from Landin’s chest.
<span style="font-weight:400">Lanin coughed up another mouthful of blood, his vision darkening but forced another spell from his mouth.
<span style="font-weight:400">“<i><span style="font-weight:400">May your flesh be cured, Mend.”</i>
<span style="font-weight:400">A small respite of relief washed over him before pain assailed him once more. But he clenched and steeled himself against the pain.
<span style="font-weight:400">He turned his head, looking at his arm that was pinned against the trunk of the tree. Landin ripped his mace from his hand, taking it in the other as he raised it, mming it into the tusk of the monster, breaking it and himself from the tree.
<span style="font-weight:400">The boar suddenly woke up with a baleful roar but not before Landin came down with another swing of his mace, caving the monster’s skull in on itself.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin’s eyes went to the notification on his periphery.
<b>[You have subjugated Winter Tusk Mana Boar Level 1]</b>
<b>[You have subjugated Winter Tusk Mana Boar Level 1]</b>
<b>[Congrattions! You are now Cleric Level 2] [14 Free Stats have been awarded]</b>
<span style="font-weight:400">He thought he had only killed the one, but apparently, his Wrath spell had more damage than he gave it credit, somehow killing the other level 1 boar.
<span style="font-weight:400">With a quick pull of his status that he had practiced on the bus trip here, he pushed his free stats into Intelligence. Surviving this fight was his top priority and if his Wrath spell was able to kill the low-level boar over its duration of damage it would be his best shot at getting through this.
<b>[Landin Raymond]</b>
<b>[Race: Human]</b>
<b>[Base ss: Cleric] Level 2</b>
<b>[Vitality] 27</b>
<b>[Strength] 12</b>
<b>[Dexterity] 12</b>
<b>[Intelligence] 41</b>
<b>[Wisdom] 22</b>
<b>[Endurance] 22</b>
<b>[Free Points] 0</b>
<b>[Skills] Basic Mend [Level N/A], Basic Wrath [Level N/A]</b>
<b>[Titles]</b>
<b>First Blood, Two vs One, Living On the Edge, Close Call</b>
<span style="font-weight:400">He just hoped the others would find him soon and that these boars were not at a higher level.
<span style="font-weight:400">“<i><span style="font-weight:400">May your flesh be cured, Mend,”</i><span style="font-weight:400"> Landin cast once more on himself, his hand going to his chest, spreading the white light over his torso.
<span style="font-weight:400">He gave another shuttered breath the itchy feeling of flesh mending together sent a disgusting chill down his spine.
<span style="font-weight:400">However, he didn’t have long to sit in the feeling as a wrathful squeal hit his ears.
<span style="font-weight:400">One of the remaining two boars charged forward, galloping with all its strength and fury directly at him.
<span style="font-weight:400">Landin moved to dodge, but couldn’t put weight onto his back foot. His head turned to look at his right ankle searing with pain, his adrenaline unable to numb it after all of his more serious wounds.
<span style="font-weight:400">The split second of distraction was all the boar needed to close the distance as it mmed into him, sending him flying backward against another tree trunk.
<span style="font-weight:400">Snow from the leaves fell unceremoniously on top of him covering him before a crimson red bled through the bottom of the white covering.
<span style="font-weight:400">But Landin smiled as the boar bailed in pain, falling to its side. Landin had managed to get onest Wrath spell to connect to the boar.
<span style="font-weight:400">The remaining boar ignored its fallenrade as it ran straight for Landin, ready to finish the group’s work and run him straight through with its tusks.
<span style="font-weight:400">“A-at least I tried,” Landin coughed, his hand beginning to glow white as he cast Mend onest time before the boar reached him, his vision darkening.
<span style="font-weight:400">“<i><span style="font-weight:400">May your flesh be cured, Mend…”</i><span style="font-weight:400"> he muttered, the sound of something cutting through the air, and the wail of pain as something hit the ground next to him.