"Oi, Gregor. Do you see that?"


    "Do you think I''m blind? Anyone with eyes can see it!"


    Two figures were hidden behind lush greenery, spying on a strange metal machine. They were both wearing matching green hooded outfits, with the same green bagsand belts fitted with sheathed daggers.


    "You think the dwarves came up with a new model of machines again? It seems to be fairly well made." the onethat wasn''tGreg whispered.


    "I don''t know. Seems fairly suspicious to me. Don''t they always announce their new models to the world?" asked Gregor.


    Not Greg shrugged. The machine suddenly changed its direction, running over a random bush.


    "We''ll report it to the boss for now, he''ll decide what to do. Track it?"


    "Uh huh."


    Not Greg took out a strange wand and pointed it at the machine, whispering some strange words. A rune symbol shot out from it and hit the target, before quickly fading away.


    <hr>


    I didn''t feel like eating another bush at the cost of my sanityand animals weren''t coming in my way either. Faced with this problem, I had the bright idea ofjust driving over random bushes and ant hills for EXP.When my fuel got low, Iate bushes or other random plants I could find.


    As for the deer''s corpse, I saved in my inventory for later. Would be a waste if I didn''t even try to cook it, would it?


    Soon, the sky began to darkenas I ran over bush after bush. And at long last, I saw the fruit of my efforts.


    [Level up! +1 Stat Point.]


    [Congrats, you did it in the lamest possible way. What would you like to spend your new point on?]


    I looked through my stats yet again. Most of them were sort of self-explanatory, but I wanted to confirm a few of them.


    Hey Tablet, what does STR even do to be exact? I mean, it''s not like I have muscles or anything right?


    [What else? It will increase the force you can exert with any movable part of your body. As a bonus, your HP will also go up]


    As I expected. Perhaps it was a good stat for a human or a monster, but I felt like it might not be that good on me. What was I going to do with more strength? Slam my door in the face of an aggressive monster? The HP aspect seemed really important though, so I might have to add some points to that eventually.


    [It would shatter their bones if you had enough STR.]


    Yeah, but not the best use of it if you ask me. What about MAG. It stands for magic, right?


    [Yes, it increases your magic damage and MP. Can you stop asking stupid questions and just use your SP already?]If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    Okay, okay, fine!


    Out of all the options, I decided I needed DEF the most right now.


    Last one. If all my stats are 1, that should mean mydurability should basically double if I choose DEF, right? Or does it work based on the percentage in some games?


    [Yes, it makes your metal twice as tough currently. Subject to lowered effectiveness at high digits.]


    Alright, seems good to me then.


    [DEF 1 -> 2]


    A strange feeling washed over me. It was like my whole body was changing in slightly subtle ways, but it wasn''t unpleasant. I felt so much stronger!


    I had a sudden urge to tryslamming into a tree to test my newfound power.Wait, what was I thinking? That was a horrible idea!It would be so stupid if Igot a second chance in life and just diedby crashing again.


    But nowthat it was nearly night, I felt like it would be a good idea to try to start a fire for light and to attempt to roast the deer. I gathered some wood with my telekinesis and piled it neatly. I wasn''t sure if it''d really burn that well though.


    As I mused about, a bright idea struck me. What if I got some of thefuel from my tank out and soaked the wood in it? There was one problem though. Considering how it was refuelled by me eating, would it even still be the same flammable stuff I knew? There was only one way to find out.


    Isiphonedsome of the fuel out from my tank and dropped it on the wood. Ah yes, that familiar smell. It was indeed gasoline. I felt satisfied. Seems like things were going fairly well!


    ...


    Wait. What about... the ignition? Oh my goodness. I am an idiot!


    Somehow, therealisationthat I needed a way to start a fire too, not just fuelevaded me til now. Frustration welled up within me. No! I wasn''t going to give up when I was so close! Igrabbed 2 pieces of rock and rubbed them together very fast in a attempt to make sparks.


    It did not work at all.


    [You need flint for that, genius.]


    I knew that! But I still felt like it was worth a shot.


    I was starting to get mentally tired too from trying so hard to rub themwith telekinesis. Oh well. I guess I''d just have tospend the night in the dark. That sucks...


    <hr>


    Five green figures arrived, hiding behind some greenery. They witnessed the truck gathering firewood and then trying to rub stones together, then tossing the stones aside.


    "What do you think he''s doing, boss?" asked Not Greg.


    The boss shooked slightly, trying to hold back his laughter.


    "Bob, I think the person inside is trying to start a fire!Can you believe he doesn''t even know how to use basic fire spells? I think we''re being too cautious here."


    "But isn''t levitation a slightly more advanced spell? I thinkonly half-decent magescan use it, right? He''s also inside that machine! Who knows if he has magic formationsbuilt into it?" Bob still felt like it wasn''t too safe.


    "He''s just using a levitation wand. What type of mage that can''t even castfireball can use such a spell? Bob, you need to do a little bit of thinking." the boss pointed to the truck with his finger. "See that bit with the paint slightly scratched?"


    "Yeah boss?"


    "It has rust on it. And tell me, do magical metals rust?"


    "Uh... I don''t think so, boss?"


    "They don''t. And let''s move onto the part about formations. Do you sense any magical energy from the machine?"


    "Well... I''m not good of a mage sir. I''m unable to sense any." Bob mumbledsheepishly.


    The boss smacked Bob atop the head playfully.


    "And I, a gold tier mage don''t sense anything either! Machines with no magical auras are the most basic of them out there! And considering the huge box attached to it, it''s clearly designed for cargo, not fighting!"


    "Boss," said Gregor. "We''ve all already got the point. Do you still have to keep explaining plain logic to Bob?"


    The boss shrugged.


    "But boss..." started Bob.


    "What?"


    "I still feel like it''s unsafe. I mean, would someone just go around with no protection at all?"


    One of the unnamed men signed.


    "Bob, look. All the facts have been lain out. And even if the person inside is able to cast some spells, the boss is still gold-ranked! Do you really think some guy who can''t even use fireball hiding in a cargo machine stands a chance?"


    The boss smirked with pride.


    "Bob''s an idiot. Ignore him." said the other unnamed man.


    "No need to resort to insults, Trev." said the boss. "Anyway, we should attack now!"