Ch 3.14: Understanding


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Kaldish is still a nation then?” Temmie asked, seeming nonplussed about ina’s telling her that they were going to war there.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I guess,” ina replied, throwing her head back onto her pillow. There wasn’t much concern in Temmie’s voice, and that stung a little.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“It is good that my geopolitical information is not entirely out of date then. I will speak to Carler to ensure any gaps in my knowledge are filled so I can best assist you.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Yeah, sounds good,” ina said, turning and burying her face into the sheets. Of the people she’d spoken to besides her actual party members, only Sylvas seemed to actually be taking this seriously, and that bothered her. If Kalivahn had known anything she’d kept quiet, Alonse who she’d once thought was the most trustworthy person at the school had acted like it waspletely routine, and now even Temmie was barely interested in the fact that she was leaving.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You seem disturbed.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">It was eminently frustrating, how little there was to read from Temmie’s voice. Annoying at the best of times, ina was suddenly finding it downright hurtful.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Do you even need to say that?” ina muttered into her mattress.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I… am afraid I do not understand.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina flipped onto her back again, groaning into the room. She still had an etiquette lessonter, didn’t have time to be dealing with Temmie’sck of understanding right now. A part of her, arge part, wanted to skip that lecture, but cutting ss was the one thing she’d promised her parents she wouldn’t do.


    <span style="font-weight:400">She balled up a fist as she thought about them, taking in a deep breath as she struggled not to scream. They’d been so shocked when the priest said she had an aspect, even more shocked that it was strong enough to warrant admission to Endrin instead of their small local college. Everyone had been shocked then though, and while the fact had only served to drive a wedge between her and the other teenagers, one wider than the division there already was, her parents had be unbelievably proud of her once the shock had subsided.


    <span style="font-weight:400">That didn’t feel good, of course. She hadn’t <i><span style="font-weight:400">done </i><span style="font-weight:400">anything worthy of praise, just had gotten lucky. Even back then she had it in the back of her mind she was a dud, that their wine-loving priest had gotten a little overexcited in his examination of her. And now here she was, more power than she could have ever imagined, and what was she doing with it? Going to war against a people she didn’t know her country was at war with, promising safety to golems who were just protecting the only for those golems to be killed shortly after, making deals with criminals she knew would betray her at a moments notice, all while shemitted daily treason just by existing.


    <span style="font-weight:400">The power she’d gained was, once again, an ident, pure happenstance that she was the one who found Temmie before her actual Awakening, that she’d been deviant enough to build a party with people that were actually talented, actually worked hard, that actually deserved to lead. She was supposed to face her parents, her entire vige, like this?


    <span style="font-weight:400">“ina,” Temmie’s soft, buzzing voice said.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“What?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I am still confused. I am aware you are bothered by something, but I am not sure by what.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina usually felt like Temmie was <i><span style="font-weight:400">people, </i><span style="font-weight:400">not human obviously, but like a person. There were other times though when the orb seemed beyond personhood, the alien artifact that deep down ina knew she was.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“It’s nothing,” she said, the easiest way to ignore it she could think of. She had enough on her mind, didn’t want to have to reconcile those thoughts as well.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Temmie was quiet for a bit, and while ina didn’t exactly resolve any of the issues in her mind, she was able to push them a bit further back, focus on other things.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I apologize,” Temmie said.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“For what?” ina asked.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I have always had difficulty understanding others. I am usually quite clear in my own speech, but that does not always trante toprehension.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina looked over to the nightstand Temmie was resting on, almost expecting to see a somber face. It wasn’t of course, just the same crystal sphere there always was, a faint blue light shining from it. Like always Temmie’s way of speaking was odd, but ina had no trouble understanding her, and for some reason she sounded more human than ever at that moment.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“If I have offended, please understand it was unintentional. If you do not wish to speak of it, I will not press further. But if you do wish to speak, I will do my best to understand.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina didn’t really know how to take the offer. “Speaking about it would probably be better, but I don’t want to think about it either…”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Hmmm. That is a troubling situation indeed.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I’ve tried talking about it with Alonse, but he didn’t seem to care. I don’t want to talk about it with the other girls, because I know it’s bothering them all too.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Ah, they also wish to not think about it, so you worry speaking to them will cause undue stress.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“So I’m stuck here, with either no one that understands, or people that aren’t going to want to talk about it either.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“And I am one of the ones that do not understand?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina swallowed, her throat feeling heavy. “Yeah.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I see.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">There was no judgement in the words, no pain. Temmie knew what offense was, had been offended before even ina knew, but knowing this, Temmie seemed perfectly content.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I don’t want to go to Kaldish.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Because of the location?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Because I don’t want to go to <i><span style="font-weight:400">war.</i><span style="font-weight:400">”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Ah,” Temmie said, blue light pulsating slightly. “I believe I understand now. My apologies, but war is usually something an Administrator has participated in before assuming the role. Sometimes I forget your own rtive inexperience.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina wasn’t really sure how that could be the case. She certainly didn’t act the part, didn’t have the knowledge or skills to be anything but a fledgling student. “I don’t even know why the war exists. I don’t want to fight for something— I don’t want to fight for <i><span style="font-weight:400">nothing.”</i>


    <span style="font-weight:400">“To not know your purpose must be difficult. I count myself fortunate that mine is clear to me.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I already don’t trust the kingdom, already know they’ve been lying about so much. They’re apparently killing the, have some sort of deal with the Red Order, and who knows what else.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“It is not an enviable position to be in.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“No… But it’s the one I’m in.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I trust you will make the best decision you can with the information you have.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina inhaled deeply, eyes shooting open in shock as she did. The breath was deeper, easiering in somehow. As she breathed out the air it was a smoother release too, her shoulders seeming lighter as they came together and she sank deeper into the bed. She didn’t know why, but she felt better.


    <span style="font-weight:400">The two didn’t talk again after that. They just stayed in the room as the sun rose over their window, nketing the room with shade, as the bell for ina’s ss rang, as the bell signaling that sses end rang. The sat their until the dinner bell rang and ina’s stomach told her it was time to finally move again.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I need to go,” she told Temmie as she sat up.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Of course.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Temmie didn’t say anything as ina put her back into the drawer, next to the other, currently dim orb, but the blue light pulsated once more as the drawer started to close. ina couldn’t be sure what that actually was, but it felt like aforting gesture.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I’ll see youter.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Farewell for now. And ina, if you wish to hold me as you sleep as you have done in the past, you always may.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">ina smiled at that, only nodding as she headed off to the dining hall.