Book 10: Chapter 40


    I dont know how long I slept for, or rather, passed out for.


    When I opened my eyes, overhead was a brown and silver cloth. It was quiet all around. Dead silent. The silence was particrly spooky. I had experienced such silence before. I had either gone deaf or I was dead.


    I opened my mouth to call out, but I couldnt make a sound despite my best efforts. I shouted with all my might, but I couldnt hear anything.


    <em>Am I mute or deaf?</em>


    Oh, youre up.


    Ling Yue pulled the curtain to the tent open just as I started to ponder my condition. She carried a basin over to me. Her ears twitched with excitement when she saw I was awake. She came up to my side and ced on my head a towel that she took out from the basin. I felt an ice cold sensation on my forehead. Ling Yue looked at me and sped my face. I noticed her eyes were red, though her pupils had changed dramatically. I presumed they were tears.


    Ah, you dont need to speak


    Ling Yue pressed down on my mouth just as I went to speak. Voice soft, she exined, Your throat has been damaged. Youve lost your voice If possible Queen Vyvyan should be able to help you once you return to the elvennds So, lets make a trip back Lets make a trip back to treat your throat.


    I sat up and touched my throat. Nothing felt wrong to me, but I couldnt make a sound regardless of how hard I tried. All I could make was a hissing sound. It was as though somebody had slit my throat open, causing all of my air to escape my body. I looked toward Ling Yue, and she looked back at me. She swung her tail gently and in a muffled voice, said, Philes has been sent back. His body was sent back to his home So, you dont need to worry.


    Ling Yue hesitated for a moment. Her gaze shifted side to side while she wagged her tail side to side, seemingly wanting to say something. I didnt do anything  not that I could anyway. As such, I silently waited for her to speak. She hesitated for a long time. She finally bit down on her lip and looked at me with concern. She then shifted her gaze away and softly apologised, Sorry Im sincerely sincerely very sorry to Philes and you


    I looked at her in silence without being able to speak a word.


    She clenched her fists and went on, If it wasnt for my wilfulness, this wouldve ended long ago, wouldnt? I was wrong. I shouldnt have cared about Marvel so much I made you lose Philes, because of Marvel Im supposed to be on your side I was afraid of you betraying me, yet Im the one who ended up betraying you I All of it was my fault


    Her tears dropped down onto the back of her hand. She uncontrobly wept while quivering. I was a little surprised. I never imagined she had that much tears in her small body. I grabbed hold of her hand and wiped the tears on the back of her hand. She looked up at me with her teary eyes.


    I shook my head then pointed at myself. She looked at me while continuing to quiver gently. She then suddenly grabbed my cor and leaned on my chest to cry out loud.


    Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!


    She wailed on my chest. I stroked her head gently and discovered my face was smothered with tears, as well.


    <em>When did I start shedding tears? Was I crying the entire time?</em>


    <em>I think that it was possible. Ive lost my Philes, My Luna and my Mera.</em>


    My tears felt so powerless now.


    <em>I wont forgive anybody in the North and I wont show any benevolence. They killed my Philes, so I must kill them no matter who they are or if theyre innocent or not. Im going to kill them. Their blood cant revive my Philes, but it can appease my anger.</em>


    <em>I am the me of anger in the North. My anger is the solidified ice in the North. Only their blood can melt it.</em>


    I wont say anymore or ask for anymore. You can do whatever you want, as long as you can obtain the victory you want. I wont say anymore Ive already received too much from you, I I cant continue being wilful


    Ling Yue bit down on her lip tightly while gripping my chest tightly with her hands. I stroked her head, and then pushed her back to wipe the tears on her face. I then wrote a few letters on my hand. I wrote down what I wanted to do most.


    Return.


    I wanted revenge; I wanted to kill all of the anthropoids. I wanted to kill them immediately. I wanted to turn the North into a sea of blood before Philes soul returned to his home. I didnt want to ask Mommy Vyvyan to revive the North with the elven spring water. I wanted to melt the ice in the North using the anthropoids blood.


    However, I needed to return to treat my throat first. I couldnt speak in my current state, and therefore couldntmand my army, either. I was enraged, but I was very level headed. I was thinking very clearly. I decided how Id bury the anthropoids, and I knew what I had to do now. Indeed, I was furious, but myposure triumphed.


    Ling Yue wiped her tears. She got off me. She supported my back and carefully asked, Can you stand?


    I tried to bend my legs, only to discover that all of my limbs were limp.


    <em>I only passed out due to sadness, so why am I so weak?</em>


    Its all right. The doctor said its just a side effect of the drug. Lets stay here for a while, and then head back once youve recovered.


    Ling Yue looked at me. She appeared as if she had matured a lot, giving me an odd feeling that she could finally be relied on. I had been taking care of her at my side the entire time, yet she started take care of me now all of a sudden. The switch gave me an odd feeling.


    I nodded, and then shut my eyes. I felt that the side effects of the drug had yet to wear off. My joints were all worn out.


    Ling Yue looked at me and hesitated for a moment before grabbing hold of my hand. She softly said, Have some sleep I I heard lots about your past Lots Youve bore a lot This wasnt your attitude, originally, was it? Youve killed so many people for the people around you, right? That must be how youve transformed into how you are now


    I didnt answer. I had no means of answering; therefore, I kept my eyes closed.


    Ling Yue didnt continue speaking. She sat next to me in silence. She then took the cloth from my forehead, picked up the basin and left the tent. She mischievously poked my face with her tail before she left.


    She left me with a final soft murmur, Goodnight